Rio 2016 Day 5 Review

An Australian only episode today as we ditch the Canadian (at least for a day) to talk about an exciting golden day 5 of the Rio 2016 Olympic Games and green pools. Jarrod explains why he has returned from exile after recovering from Burto costing us Equestrian gold as well as making sure our athletes know that if they don't win gold they aren't welcome back. Meanwhile Ben ensures that Hungary still hate us and gives us his secret to winning swimming gold with a 'whirling willy'. Just another day in the office...

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.

BEN WATERWORTH: Good afternoon, evening, and good night once again from Off The Podium, an Olympics podcast as we come to you for our daily update of the 2016 Rio Olympic Games. Episode 7, we are here today to recap the fifth day of competition in what is proving to be quite an interesting Olympics, the Green Olympics, at least in the swimming pools. We'll possibly get to that at some point throughout this episode, but lots to discuss, lots to talk about, so much so that we've kicked the Canadian off and we're making this an Australian-only episode. Yes, Colin, sadly, is unavailable today to record. He's basking in the glory of another medal for Canada. We'll at least touch on that at some point, but we have found somebody else to discuss this with, an Australian, an Australian from Emu Plains. He's recovered from his two-day hiatus, watching the dressage and analysing everything to do with Equestrian, and it is, of course, Jarrod Loobeek. Jarrod, welcome back to Off The Podium.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Thank you. It's good to be back. Yeah, far out. From the joys of being in first place to dropping back into third, I think the Equestria inventors heard us that we didn't have a silver, and they were trying to aim for that, probably purposely knocked off a couple of the jumps, and then just too many. And I mean, that was a real upset, so it took me a couple of days to get over that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Do you blame Berto, Jarrod? I blame Berto. I mean, we had gold until those final two jumps.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I blame Berto. I think Santos II probably wanted a couple of oats the night before, and I don't think he was fed properly. That's what I'm going to go with.

BEN WATERWORTH: A bit of the dodgy oats that if he had some, or just he didn't have them, so.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, he didn't have them. Should have given him a bit more.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right. Well, there you go. It's Berto's fault. If we end up losing to New Zealand on this metal tally by a medal, a gold medal particularly, then that's Berto's fault. We can ship him off to Auckland, and he can live in New Zealand. But, well, it's back to a golden day for Australia, at least, here on day five. We didn't win one yesterday. Felt a bit strange, but, you know, we should have. Thanks, Berto. But, yeah, no, a good day for Australia again on day five. One gold medal, Kyle Chalmers in the 100-metre freestyle. First time we've won that event, I believe, since the Mexico Olympics, so a long time coming. A lot of silver in that event. Of course, James Magnuson and Iman Sullivan, the kings of silver. That's why we're not winning any in Rio, Jarrod, because James Magnuson is only in one event, and Iman Sullivan is not competing. That's why we're not winning the silver.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, definitely. I mean, we need to get Iman Sullivan back. I thought we were going to send the call off. Luckily, we've won a couple of silver today to kind of get rid of that jinx.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly, exactly. But a great result there for Kyle Chalmers. And, well, we did pick up two silver. We got 200m butterfly for Madeline Groves. Great effort. And I loved seeing her after the race, because she was, you know, we were kind of going into that event thinking that we might win gold, because she was the fastest qualifier. I was kind of like, oh, great, gold here. She gets silver, you're slightly disappointed. But as soon as you're seeing her being interviewed, and she's over the moon that she's finished second and won a silver medal, that always makes it better for me, because it's like, well, I would be that way. If I win any colour Olympic medal, I would be happy. Even if it's a Canadian bronze, I would be happy. So I don't know if you saw her after the race there at all, Jarrod, but it's good to see somebody when they're excited to just get any medal.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think that's the right attitude. That's the attitude you need. You mean you're at the Olympics. You're against the best in the world. Maybe it's a little bit disappointing that you didn't win gold, but just imagine all the people who would just love to be there competing. So it was really great to see that.

BEN WATERWORTH: You could be Berto and cost us a gold, but you know, she took that. And then another silver in the pool. In the 4x200 metres, women's relay, Lea, Neil, Emma McKee and Bronte Barrett, Tamsin Cook and Jessica Ashwood, who swum in the heats. Good to see that they picked up a medal. We missed out on the men's yesterday, but it was good at least that we got that one there. So after starting the day with no silvers, we've gotten two now. I was thinking of you when we were winning these silvers, Jarrod. I mean, you sort of touched on them a second ago before, but without these silver medals, we would be behind Hungary in the medal tally right now, and you don't want to be behind those people who don't know how to laugh.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, that's the worst spot to be.

BEN WATERWORTH: So I could imagine that you're satisfied with day five, because again, we pick up the silvers, we're ahead of Hungary, we're ahead of Canada now when it comes to silver medals. We're equal with New Zealand, but that's okay because we have got those things called gold medals New Zealand. That's what happens when you finish first. So, satisfied with day five?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, very satisfied. I think, I mean, losing that equestrian team gold, it felt like the gold was missing. I thought, I think we didn't have a great day in the pool yesterday either. So everything was kind of going a little bit pear shaped. So it's nice that the status quo is returned, and we're back winning gold. We've got rid of the monkey off our back with no silvers. So now we can just focus on gold, gold, gold the rest of the way.

BEN WATERWORTH: You say monkey in the back, as Colin referred to him yesterday, Michael Phelps perhaps is a bit guerrilla-ish. And just quickly, actually, I want to kind of make a bit of an apology for yesterday's episode, because when Colin and I were recording, we were sort of watching the footage still, because the swimming was still going on, and they were showing Michael Phelps a celebration, and we had no sound on, so we had no idea who he was kissing. And he was kissing a baby, and they had like super slow-mo of him kissing his baby. Turned out that's Michael Phelps' son. So, apologies for saying anything about Michael Phelps kissing a random baby. It was his son, all right? It was fine. I don't know if you were quite aware that Michael Phelps' son is that kissable, Jarrod, but he apparently is.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I just thought you win 21 gold medals, and you can go around kissing children. Evidently, that's how it works. But the fact that it was his son made it a little bit more acceptable.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly, exactly. I should mention, even though we have no Canadian contingent on this show today, we'll still keep up the tradition of talking about them. They won a bronze today. Women's 4x200. Australia beat them. But for Katerine Savard, Penny Olkciak again, we'll get to her. I can never say her name properly, but whatever. Emily Overholt, Brittany McLean, Taylor Rutt, Kennedy Goss. Obviously a few of them swam in the heats. But more importantly, Penny Olkciak, I'll get it right one day, that's her second bronze, and she's already won a silver. She's won three medals at these Olympics. What's going on? A Canadian winning multiple medals at the Summer Games. The most important thing for her, because as we've talked about, Canadians win money for their medals, she's picked up 40 grand just by swimming for what? Probably a grand total of about 10 minutes. So, yeah, maybe we need to move to Canada and get a gig on their summer team, because not only would we win bronzes, we would win money.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, exactly. I mean, that's not a bad day's work. I'd hate to jump the gun, but the odds on Penny being the closing ceremony flag bearer must be very high at this point in time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, extremely high. I mean, God, it's between her and their field hockey team when they're not getting beaten like 7-0 by the Dutch. I mean, that's a win for Canada. Look, I would put some money on that too, I think, Jarrod. We need Colin to confirm that, perhaps, what they're talking about in Canada right now, because, yeah, I mean, God, they haven't won a gold yet. Doesn't look like they're going to. Trampoline is still a couple of days away. Rowing is not doing too well for them. So, yep, Penny, get your grip ready to go to hold that flag. That's actually a good... I mean, right now, let's pretend, Jarrod, that we don't win any more medals for the rest of these Olympics. Who's carrying our flag right now after day five?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, it's gotta be... I can't think. Mental blank. What's his name?

BEN WATERWORTH: Mac?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Kyle Chalmers, short.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, Kyle Chalmers.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Not Mac. I mean, you can't put Mac at front. That's security reasons. That's a bad spot to put him. He should probably blend in at this point in time.

BEN WATERWORTH: He might get splashed.

JARROD LOOBEEK: So we'll have to put Kyle up there instead.

BEN WATERWORTH: The great thing about this, though, is that... We'll get to it when we talk about the commentary for this, but all the pre-race talk for this 100m was on Cam McAvoy. It wasn't about Kyle Chalmers. It was about Mr. McAvoy. You know, he was the, what, Rating World Champion and all this sort of stuff. Second, sorry, in the World Championships. He only finished seventh. But props to Cam McAvoy, though. He got out of the pool and he was very humble in defeat and talked up Kyle and all this sort of stuff. But, yeah, everyone's talking up Kyle. He's 18 years old. He's from Adelaide, I believe. His dad used to play for the Crows and for Port Adelaide. So all of Adelaide are celebrating the fact that they can do well in something. And, I mean, I didn't know two shits about Kyle Chalmers until basically this morning, Jarrod. I don't know if you were on the same page.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, exactly. I was at work and I was checking the live blog of what was going on. And when they said we'd won gold in the event, I just assumed. I was like, oh, Ken must have won. And then to read it and to see, I'm like, who even is this Kyle person? And when did they become part of the Olympic team? Is this like some late ring in? And then watching the race for him still sort of come from behind, I think he turned in seventh place or something, and you thought, oh, he's kind of out of it. It was just really impressive to watch. It makes you wonder whether, I mean, it was an interesting decision to pull Cam McAvoy out of the men's 4x200 relay. And him not placing in this, it's kind of like, was that decision justified?

BEN WATERWORTH: I think it might have been. But it was interesting, actually, you say that. I'll jump ahead, because this is obviously a good time to mention this, but in the commentary, you've got, of course, Basil Zempelis, they're calling this race, and you know, both Aussies aren't really in it at the 100 metre turn. And I think the Canadian guy that we were talking about yesterday, I've gone blank on his name right now, but he was leading at that point. But yeah, the commentator Basil was going like, here comes McAvoy, McAvoy's pumping, here comes McAvoy, oh, but Charmers wins gold! Like he wasn't even looking at the other Aussie, who's actually in front winning us a gold medal. So even the Channel 7 commentators have no fucking idea who they are. John Rooney's gone, yes, Kyle Charmers wins gold! This is the whole thing. And then I think they showed footage of whatever school he's from in Adelaide, all these people celebrating. At least one place knew who he was. So yeah, new Australian hero that 24 hours ago, no one knew who he was.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Good on him. I love how they're able to dig up all this footage after somebody won gold. They've done a couple of segments on, I think it was our shooter who won gold, and they made it look like they were filmed before she went into the event, but I'm fairly sure they were filmed after she'd already won.

BEN WATERWORTH: Quickly, make this look like you're boarding the plane to Rio. Make this like the day that you found out you're going to the Olympics. Yes, Santo Condrelli is the guy, of course, who we were talking about yesterday, the Italian born American who represents Canada. So he was leading at the 50-metre mark, but he ended up finishing fourth. So unlucky for Canada not to be double bronze medallist today. Now, outside of the medals, our other Aussie results, it was a fairly decent-ish day for us elsewhere. Archery, our bronze medallist archery solo players. Sadly, Ryan Tyak went out in the opening round, and I know that one of our other competitors is through to the next round, which I believe is happening tomorrow. Yeah, so he'll compete in the next round tomorrow. So at least we've got one sort of him with a shot there. Pardon the pun. Basketball, big result. We lost the Boomers, but we were within 10 points of the Dream Team. We led at half time, and we really took it up to them. I don't know if you caught any of the basketball, Jarrod, but that's decent. We'll take a 10 point loss of the US.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh yeah, that was amazing. I didn't get to watch it, but I mean, reading a live vlog is not the same as watching something, but I mean, with this, it felt like it was, because just the scores popping up and seeing we were ahead, and then they'd catch up, and then we'd pull ahead again. You didn't even need the footage. You could see just the scores. That was good enough. It was unbelievable. Everybody at work was asking me how they were going. We were getting score updates. I mean, this is what we wanted. I kind of feel like if we'd won in some ways, that would have been a bad thing just because of the expectations that would have placed on the team. But to go this close against the US, you couldn't really ask for any more.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's amazing with Australia how much we talk up certain people and teams, and for the most part, they'll choke, and then we'll try and analyse it and try not to beat them down that much. But it's like with the basketball, it was all sort of talked up, like, we could possibly beat the US.

JARROD LOOBEEK: This is good.

BEN WATERWORTH: We'd lose. But it's, yeah, everyone's talking up like it is a win. So, I mean, that's great, particularly from the way Australia is reacting to it. So you never know. We might play them again for a medal. Ha ha, just putting the ringer on them. Beach volleyball, we had two teams in the tournament today. Louise Borden and Taliqua Clancy are through to the round of 16. They knocked off the six-seeded Dutch team in Pool E to top it. And we'll go through to the next round. Good for them. Sadly, though, I know this one personally hurts you, Jarrod. Maria Fidel-Sola and Nicole Laird lost to China and are out. Sorry.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, this is just the Olympics. You have a team that wins three times. You have a team that loses three times. I mean, I'm not inviting that losing team back to Tokyo. They could improve, but I wouldn't give them the invite back. Losing three matches out of three, I think that's your Olympics up, over and done with. Time to retire or pick a different sport.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, not good enough. I mean, look, Berto can at least finish fifth. God, still letting Australia down. Damn you, Berto. Cycling, the individual road time trials were on for both men and women. Rohan Dennis, he finished fifth, which is good, but he was leading it at the halfway point. Had to change bikes halfway through it and would have been on for another silver had he not had to change it. Now, this is interesting. You can change your bike halfway through it. Would there not be a bit of play here? Like, oh, yeah, I just need to change bikes and you just put a rocket boost or something on it? I mean, what sport... In rowing, I can't see them halfway down the course. Oh, shit, the boat sucks. Quick, bring another one and get a speedboat. Sure, it was probably broken, but shouldn't that be it? If I break my leg running the 400 metres, no one's going to come out and bring me a new leg.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, well, when we know the French gymnast found that out in the vault that you can't get a replacement leg for the next round, it would be nice to see in the rowing if a boat got replaced halfway through. I think you could be on to something. Potentially, I suppose a speedboat, that's maybe a little bit unfair, but just seeing the teams have to change boats, maybe they had to switch with another team.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, oh, actually, yeah.

JARROD LOOBEEK: You jump out, you hop into another team's rowing boat, and you just go from where they're up to. I mean, that could make things more interesting.

BEN WATERWORTH: That is a good point.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, this was interesting because normally, in cycling, it's a flat tire, or the chains come off or something, but he snapped off a handlebar.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right, I didn't actually know that much. How did he snap off a handlebar in the middle of a time trial, of all things?

JARROD LOOBEEK: You tell me. This bike was flimsy. I'm going to say there was some tampering here. I mean, in the cycling, we've had bad luck in all of them, so there's something going wrong. I don't know who to blame, pick a country, any country, but somebody is sabotaging our cycling team. And I don't like it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Those damn unfunny Hungarians. They're coming up to it. You talk about the speedboat. Hey, that wasn't unfair. I can imagine the Russians would use a speedboat. Oh, that is legal. We didn't do anything wrong. I will appeal decision. It's a bit obvious. It's fascinating with the cycling. We've obviously had the road race, and we've had the time trial now. I think track cycling, I do believe, begins tomorrow, which is where we generally are pretty good at. So that will be interesting. But yeah, another silver goes begging. And the female one, Katrin Garfoot, was ninth. So good for her. I believe the American lady who won that's about a third or fourth time in a row that she's won that event. So still hasn't had it taken away yet. Hasn't put a positive sample in yet, Jarrod. So maybe she skipped a few tests. I don't know.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, three in a row. I mean, that's hogging in a bit. You could share that around.

BEN WATERWORTH: Hello to all our cyclists listening today. And our Russians. Who are we finding today? Equestrian. Well, it's still going. Jarrod's excited. And the team dressage is on. I don't know how you feel about the team dressage compared to the overall ones that we've had. But we're ninth at the halfway point of the team dressage. But interesting to point out, our oldest Olympian at these games, Mary Henna, at the ripe old age of 61, she competed today. Did you catch any of that, Jarrod? Did you catch the team dressage?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I can't say I did. It brings back bad memories watching this. I mean, the only reason I'd probably watch the Equestria anymore is just for Vicky's commentary, because she's an absolute legend. But as far as I'm concerned, it's over for me with the Equestria, and I couldn't find out who Bat Horse was. I thought we had a sure thing in gold, and then we went up with bronze, and the only redeeming thing was that we beat New Zealand in that. Yeah, I'm over it. You're over it. Apparently, we have a 60-year-old on our team, and I feel like she's probably a little bit peeved. She's like, I'm 60. I should be getting some recognition here. But no, there has to be somebody who's one year older, and she's getting all the fame.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yep, exactly. That's the bitch. Yeah, when I was watching it, the cross country, the show jumping one, I was trying to find Bat Horse. There was actually a few horses there with kind of like black ears, and I was like, oh, is that Bat Horse? But it didn't look Bat Horse-y enough. So, I mean, we know, the good news actually, just really quickly, talking about cycling, the good news is, is that Richie Port has been found, Channel 9 found him, but we haven't found Bat Horse. So maybe we need to contact Channel 9, like Dear Channel 9, you found Richie, find Bat Horse.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I know Bat Horse is posing as an Italian horse, but which one I could not say.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right, the Italians, OK, you've always got to look out for those Italian equestrian players, or riders, or whatever. Hockey, good news finally for both our teams. We actually discovered how to win again. The Hockey Roos won their first game in the Olympics, 6-1 over India, and Jodie Kenny scored a 100th goal for Australia. Congratulations, Jodie. And the Kookaburras, after choking big time against Spain and the Belgians of all people, they beat Great Britain 2-1. Had we lost to Great Britain, shit would have gone down. Yeah, good result in hockey. We've been talking about Australian teams choking. There's no bigger chokers at the Olympics than the Kookaburras. I mean, we're like the best thing in the world ever in hockey, but when it comes to the Olympics, it's our kryptonite. We just choke.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, we're made to look like amateurs. The only redeeming factor is, I suppose, similar to Berto in the equestrian and all these nicknames ending in O, the Australian female hockey team. All the names seem to rhyme, so you have the commentators talking about them taking the ball down the field, and we've got Slattery, then to Flannery, then to Kenny, then to Georgie, then to Casey, and it just goes on and on. this is like a prerequisite for the Australian women's hockey team, that your name has to rhyme with somebody else in the team so it can just flow off the commentators' tongues as they go through the players passing the ball.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's like, you know, you've got the greatest hockey player in the world, and names like Smith. Sorry, no, can't make the team. Sorry, just not good enough. And then she ends up going to play for like Canada, and she's so good that she makes the whole team win. And it's just like, good job, hockey roos. The rowing, sadly, was cancelled again. They're not getting too well with the rowing out there. I think that they might need to move it, perhaps. Like, we'll have it, we'll have it, I don't know, back in, whether had it in Sydney, or we've got Lake Barrington in Tasmania.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, Penrith Lakes.

BEN WATERWORTH: Have you got a...

JARROD LOOBEEK: Same backdrop, but good enough.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, yeah, cool. That's not that far from you, is it? So, you know. You can pick them up from the airport. I'm just like driving through. You can fit some of the boats in your boot, I'm sure. Yep. Why not? Rugby Sevens, the men's, it's all over for us. Sadly, we can't repeat the glory of the girls. We did knock off South Africa in the final round 12-5 to make the quarterfinals before promptly losing to the South Africans 22-5. But I've got some great news for those playing at home when it comes to the rugby. The fact that New Zealand have been eliminated from the sport that they're actually good at. They were beaten by Fiji, and Fiji are into the semifinals. Now, probably doesn't seem like a big deal while we're talking about Fiji, but Fiji have never won an Olympic medal, ever, in the history of the Olympics. And they're banking on this. They're the favourites to win. This is why, you know, Jarrod Hayne tried to bribe his way into the team to win a medal. He should have played for the Australian girls. He would have won. But they're that close. They're in the semifinals, and they were playing Japan. So if they beat Japan tomorrow, they're guaranteed a medal. No matter what, gold or silver. Fiji, like, I can't imagine the celebrations in Suva and Fiji, like, seriously. Like, a country to have never won a medal that small, that tiny. I don't even know if they've won a Commonwealth Games medal, Jarrod. So, I mean, this is a big deal. I think we all need to fly to Fiji tonight to celebrate this, if they win it.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, yeah, that'll be the place to be. Yeah, if you could... Winning your first medal, well, I don't know what that feels like. Australia doesn't know what that feels like.

BEN WATERWORTH: Canada definitely doesn't know what it feels like. But, I mean, obviously, Kosovo won their first ever medal at these games. It happened to be gold, but, I mean, they haven't really been a country for that long. So, like, it's, you know, Fiji, I'm sure, have been a country for a very long time. So, how long, perhaps? Maybe we can Google that very shortly. But, you know, I mean, they're one of our nearby neighbors, and obviously we root for them, you know, probably more so than New Zealand, because we like them a little bit better. Well, actually, here we go. They've been a country since the 10th of October, 1970. So they're actually really not that old either. Independence from the United Kingdom. I thought they were probably a little bit older than that. And I will correct myself in saying that they have won plenty of medals at the Commonwealth Games, 15 to be precise, which is still less than the amount of gold medals that Michael Phelps has won at the Olympics. But anyway, so go Fiji in the rugby. Go on, win gold or silver or bronze, anything. Sailing, there were lots of stuff happening in the sailing. Like, nobody, I think, pays attention to the sailing, not just in Australia, but anybody in the Olympics till the second week, because they try and explain it. They're all like, oh, Australia did well today in the sailing. They got an eighth, a seventh, a sixth, a fifth, a fourth, a third, a second, a fifth. You know, like, there's like a hundred races a day. They try to explain it, and then we only give a shit by, like, day 13 when they're like, oh, and we're probably gonna win a gold medal. So, like, do you care about the sailing at all?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I tried to watch for a bit, and pretty much exactly the same thing happened to me. I'm like, what am I watching? What is happening? They had a zoomed-out picture, and they just had all the boats and little tags saying what country they were in. They're all heading in different directions. I'm like, what type of race do you go different ways? I'm like, where's the track? What's happening here? So that was a short stint of watching sailing. I said, I'll flick away and just do the normal thing, and if we win a medal in it, I'll celebrate it, but I won't be watching it again.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, without them in London, we would have won one gold medal, so I shouldn't really complain. I mean, people talk about synchronized swimming as being a poor spectator sport. We have barely touched on synchronized swimming in this entire podcast. We will get to synchronized swimming. But I could imagine that sailing is a worse spectator sport because, again, as she was saying, you've got boats going every single way. It relies on TV for them to put graphics on the water to show you where the finish line is. Like, we obviously have the big Sydney to Hobart ending here in Hobart every year. I've got a long to watch it to the end of it. You don't know what the fuck's going on because it's so far out the line where it's finishing. You're just staring. You see this boat. There's about 100 helicopters flying around it, all these other boats. You're going, what's happening, what's happening, what's happening? All of a sudden, somebody on the shore will go, woo, and you're like, oh, yeah, they won. You don't know what's going on. At least it's synchronized swimming. You see a leg, you see an arm, you see somebody getting thrown up in the air, and you're in an enclosed building. You're not 80 metres away from the shore, and they're out 10 kilometres out at the water. So I'm putting it out there, Jarrod, sailing perhaps the worst spectator sport of the Olympics.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I'd have to agree. I think especially, depending on your country's flag, I mean, we've got the Union Jack, New Zealand has the Union Jack, Great Britain has the Union Jack. You don't know who you're cheering for out there. You're probably cheering for the wrong people as they come across the line. Not a great sport to watch. Lots of people are there, but not a great sport to watch. I think people are just there to... I don't think they were watching this, Stanley. I think they were just having a doubt at the beach.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think they're there because it's probably one of the few sports that's free. You can actually afford to go to it. But we were talking about the fencing the other day, about how it's all lit up with lights, and Colin was saying, what are the sports? I think sailing is your perfect sport. Fit your boats with neon LED lights, and there you go. You've got yourself an exciting sport to watch. I'd watch that.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think there's many things I could do. That's one of them. Giving each team one cannonball to fire at another team. Could be another one to liven things up. Making people walk the plank. I don't know. I think there's all these new sports coming into the Olympics for the younger generation to make things more interesting. But I think sailing is one that they need to focus on revamping because, as you said, it's not the best of what...

BEN WATERWORTH: Combined sports. Sport climbing up the mast as they go along. Pump out large amounts of Pirates of the Caribbean music. As they're sailing along. Yeah. Email us, people. Listen to your comment. Tell us how they can make sailing exciting. And a big hello to all our sailors listening today. I hope you're having a great day. Shooting, we had the Double Trap, an event that we have won in the past. Russell Mark won that back in Atlanta, and Silver and Sydney. James Willett, he finished fifth. He made the final. Good for him, James. Fifth is decent. I'd be happy with fifth at the Olympics still. That's good. In the swimming out of our medals, yesterday's future wife of Ben Waterworth, Brianna Throssel, was eighth in the 200-metre butterfly. So, yes, well done. I will celebrate by buying her a rose. And Cam McAvoy, as we mentioned, seventh in the 100 metres. Taylor McCowan, she was the fastest qualifier for the 200-metre breaststroke final tomorrow. That was great. No doubt another silver or bronze coming up there for Taylor. And Mitch Larkin, he's in again, one half of the backstroke bonkers. He's into the 200-metre backstroke final. So, good for you, Mitch. Well done. And finally, the water polo in the green, well, actually, half green pool. It's not as green as the diving pool. We beat Japan, 8-6. So, we're doing okay, the sharks. We're talking a bit about that yesterday. I enjoy watching the water polo. Are you a bit of a water polo nut, Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think it's good fun to watch. It has moments when I don't quite understand what's going on. I mean, the level of contact that you can have with other people, I get a little bit confused, and there's exclusions. But it's worth it for the goals. I mean, the goals, I suppose, are the highlight. And there's always some great ones. I do love when it kind of ricochets off other people and goes in the top corner, or they just miss, and people are swimming everywhere, and it's just a bit crazy and chaotic. That's what you want in an Olympic sport.

BEN WATERWORTH: We were talking about this yesterday. I mean, I have trouble swimming just from one side of the pool to the other, let alone treading water and having to pick up a ball and catch it and duck and dive. I don't know, it's just a fascinating sport. I think obviously you got to be very athletic to play water polo, which is something that I'm not. Yes, anyway, good for them, the sharks, being in Japan. Now, this is usually the part where we throw to Colin, and say, hey Colin, what's going on with Canada? I didn't really take too much notice. I got a little bit. The two main ones, I think, obviously they got a medal. We touched on that one. But here's one that I randomly pulled out of nowhere. Maria Eve Belchimian-Nadeau, one of our favourites here on Off The Podium, she finished ninth in the Women's 69 Kilogram Weightlifting. Now, weightlifting is a sport, which is interesting. Did you catch any of the Women's 69 Kilogram Weightlifting, Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I have not seen any of the weightlifting yet. It's on my list of things to see. I don't know if there's any left. If there is, I'll try and catch some. It's not the most interesting sport, but good on them for lifting heavy stuff, I suppose.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, sadly, it's a rest day tomorrow, Jarrod, but then there's plenty more still to come. Wait till we get the super heavyweights. They're the men that you want to be with, anybody out there. It doesn't matter what your sexuality is. They are, and the women as well, have a party. But it's such like, who invented this sport? I've got to come up with a sport. Let's lift heavy shit. Like, how does that become an Olympic? You're on the bandwagon of why isn't squash an Olympic sport? Like, you know, I mean, I know the whole faster, higher, stronger mantra of the Olympics, and fair enough, this is definitely stronger, but you know, to me, they're just a bunch of cocky bastards. Like, I can lift 400 kilos, can you? Like, you know, it's really such a fascinating sport, and we'll get to the, there was, I want to get to in the athlete of the day, there was another pretty horrific injury. I don't know if you saw that, Jarrod, but came in the weightlifting. Like, seriously, if you're going to have a death in the Olympics, and we don't want that, like, we obviously don't, but like, this is a dangerous sport to have. If you're holding that amount of weight, all you need to do is like, bend in a certain way, and your head can literally be caved in live on television.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, every time they get a successful lift or struggle with it and drop it to the ground, you're always somebody waiting for somebody to be beheaded. I think in terms of tests of strength, I was reading the other day that tug-of-war used to be an Olympic sport, and I think maybe that's where we go in replacing weightlifting in the next couple of years.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's nothing wrong with it. Like, seriously, I actually... That would be a fun sport to watch. Like, you know, hark back to the great old days of the amazing Nice Australia versus New Zealand. How do they start that off? With Tagavora Uluru. I mean, there's nothing more Australian than that. So if we ever get the... When Hobart gets it, we'll ship off the Tagavora Uluru. You know? But like, it's... Yeah, it's like when you watch... When you watch like a car race, a lot of people watch car racing because they're waiting for somebody to crash. You know, there's just those people who love that. I'm sure there are a bunch of people, as you said, like, drop it, drop it, decapitate yourself, decapitate yourself. Oh, yes, I'm all for it. But tug of war, definitely. You know, flimflom 2028, we're getting it back, absolutely. See, that was the extent of Canada's results that I can tell you. Sorry for all our Canadians out there who want to know more. Oh, I'm going to listen to that podcast. They talk about our results. Well, yeah, well, that's the extent you get. Other results that are worth of note, I mentioned about Fiji. Talking to me a little bit about yesterday about my fandom for the Germany soccer team. Well, they had a lazy 10-nil win against Fiji and are through to the quarterfinals, and will meet Portugal there. Big one here, though, in the tennis side of things. Jarrod, Serena's out. What's going on?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I can't see the Olympics. It's so weird. If you look at the medallists from singles over the years, half the time it's not the failure. But Serena, she has such a great track record. Yeah, I did not see this coming at all. I mean, her and Venus losing in the doubles was a big enough shock, but you thought, OK, she's only in the singles now, she can still do that. She's unbeatable, but I don't know. Lately, people have been getting the better of her. So is... Is her dominance in tennis coming to an end? Every time it seems to me she steps it up again, but this was just a big shot. I don't think she'll recover from it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I actually didn't even realise she'd lost until I looked up the results, literally, and there I was. I'm looking at the seeds and people who are left in both the singles. So if we go to the women's side of things, so we should mention she was beaten by the Ukrainian Alina Svitolina, the 15th seed. She will now play Petra Kvitova in the quarter, so that's a decent match. Then we go to the next quarterfinal. Monica is at Puig. How do you say her name from Puerto Rico? Puig. I've heard of her, but I couldn't tell you anything she's done. She's up against the great German Laura Sigmund. I mean, she's a star of the future. She could be like 54, I don't know. Madison Keys is still in it for America. She's up against the great Russian Dara Kassadkina. Obviously the only one that didn't get caught taking whatever Maria Sharapova did. And then the other quarterfinal, we've got Johanna Konta from Britain against Angelique Kerber, the German who won the Australian Open this year. So I mean, there's a couple still going there, but yeah, you weren't expecting, you know, no Serena in here or like anybody else. I mean, you're a huge tennis fan, but are you kind of losing interest in this now with the depth of the field we've got left?

JARROD LOOBEEK: A little. I'm lucky that Nadal's still on the men's side of things, so I mean, that will keep me watching that. But yeah, in the women's, it's just, it's hard to predict what's going to happen. I think the rain, too, has been raining kind of consecutive days out, so they're running behind schedule there. So who knows what's going to happen. But yeah, Serena going out that early, I think it was only the third round, not even quarterfinals. It's just, I'm still kind of sharp aghast at it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, well, in the men's side of things, so yeah, we've got Rafa, Gilles Simon, that's his proponent next round. We've got the great Brazilian Tomas Bellucci up against the Belgian David Goffin. We've got Gael Monfils still in there against Marion Cilic. And then in the Slovakian Andre Martin will play John Milman's conqueror Kay Nishikori. Then we have the other great Russian Evgeny Donsky up against Steve Johnson, the American. And then we've got Fabio Fogini up against my man Andy Murray. So at this rate, Murray is going to lose to Fogini, or Fogini, whatever, the Italian. So don't put your money on Andy. The men's doubles, we talked a bit about this yesterday. I mean, Rafa is in the men's doubles too, Jarrod. You're excited about that. He's up against the great Canadian doubles man of Daniel Nesta, the one half of the Woody's conqueror back from Sydney. So, you know, and then, I mean, how's this for a star-studded semifinal in the second men's semifinal? The Americans of Steve Johnson and Jack Sock. Jack Sock, what a name. And Florin Maregha and Horia Ticale of Romania. Oh, that's a tough one to pick.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I wonder who's going to end up winning the whole thing. Maybe it's the pair who wins from the hardest side of the draw. Split loyalty is there for Colin Tomorrow with Rafa playing against some Canadians.

BEN WATERWORTH: Jack Sock, wow, great name. And the women's, yeah, so the quarters in that one, there's Spain, Russia, Czech Republic and Italy. So that's about as much as I want. We're talking too much about tennis. There's more than tennis. We love the tennis, but anyway. So that's other results that were happening outside of Australia and Canada, at least the ones that we're going to focus on anyway. So the actual winners of the medals today, the ones at least that we didn't touch on that weren't Australian or Canadian, which is generally what we mainly talk about, but we like to recap kind of on the other medals. So the canoeing, the men's slalom, K1, went to Great Britain, Joseph Clark. Famous victory there for Joseph, we have to admit there, Jarrod. Both you and I predicted that before the Olympics.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, that was one of the ones that I penciled in, is that it was done and dusted before the event began.

BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. He beat out a Slovenian and a Czech Republican. The cycling, as we said, the road time trials. Gold went to, for the men, Fabian Cancellara for Switzerland, and as we mentioned, the American, Kristen Armstrong. That's a dangerous name to have in cycling. She got a lot. She's won a lot, so she'll lose a lot eventually. Diving. Now, this is interesting actually, because Colin was talking about the fact that China came into these games saying, we're going to sweep every event. We're going to win every single event in the diving. They haven't, because they lost. They got a bronze in the men's synchronized three-metre springboard, but gold went to the Brits. I don't know. Britain could dive. Chris Mears and Jack Laffer. Laha, whatever these names are. But we should mention the green pool. I was just watching the news before we started recording this. It's algae, apparently. That doesn't make it sound safe. That kind of sounds disgusting. What the hell is going on there?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, that's a bit confusing, I think. Well, I mean, the positive... We've got to look at the positive. The positive to this is the triathlon can now be run in that diving pool, because it's pretty much just a river. Yes. I mean, that's saving money. That's using that venue again. I think this is all positive.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's so fascinating to just kind of see the fact that, like... I mean, if I'm a diver, I'm not going to go in that water. Like, it just looks gross. You know, I mean, do the Brazilians not have pool cleaners? Like, is it just a thing that they don't know what they are? I mean, surely there's something they can do with that? Like, turn, like, drain the water and put more in there? Like...

JARROD LOOBEEK: You'd think so. The way that they've just kind of shrugged it off is, oh, it's not great, but it's not going to kill you. I suppose they wanted to market it as the Green Games, and they're doing that well.

BEN WATERWORTH: We're so passionate about our country's flag. We'll make the water green. Like, seriously, the fact that, like, Great Britain won a gold, like, the rest of the diving tournament, if all of a sudden, like, Uzbekistan win a gold medal, and, like, Qatar, like, we know something's up with the water if the Chinese aren't winning gold medals. Like, you know...

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think the order that they put in for pool cleaner got misplaced with the order that they put in for those little statuettes, and that's why we have so many statuettes and no pool cleaner left.

BEN WATERWORTH: Come on, Thomas Bach, what's going on? Like, this is your job? You're the president? Like, you know, this is up to you. This should be on your desk first thing in the morning. Mr. President, there's a problem with the pool. We need it fixed. Oh, I will fix it in the morning. Ha ha ha. Um, gee, he's not off to a good start with these ones. Um, yeah, so in the fencing, we were all on to the fencing. Men's Saber, it was won by the unfunny Hungarian of Aaron Cizalgayi. He did not laugh at all when he won that medal. Beaten an American, didn't know Americans could fence. There you go. And in the women's foil, Ina Delirgozova from Russia won. So there you go. Gymnastics, the men's all-around artistic was on. Gold went to Japan, Kohi Uchimura. Congratulations for him. Japan had a very good day actually. They won three gold medals, if you don't mind, on day five. So they also won two gold in the judo, our favourite sport. No Uchimura's going on there. Mashu Baker won the men's 90 kilogram, and in the women's 70 kilogram, Haruka Tachimoto won there as well. So great result for Japan. No rowing gold. As I said, rowing was out of the equation today. Shooting outside, I mentioned the double trap. This is a big deal, actually. Fahad Al-Dihani won gold. Won gold for the independent Olympic athletes, Jarrod. This is the very first time the IOA have ever won a gold medal. Now, he's originally actually from Kuwait, but he's obviously competing underneath the international, sorry, the independent Olympic athletes. Big deal. This is great. Good on Fahid.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, I'm happy for him. I mean, it would have been better if it had been somebody from team or I want to take you, but this is probably as close as it gets to being the refugee team. So, I mean, you could pretty much claim that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I think so. That's exactly it. I would. And the best news about that is that if you look at the medal tally, the independent Olympic athletes are ahead of New Zealand. So, it's a win-win for the world. The countries, the athletes without a country are beating New Zealand. Can we just point that out, people? And a big hello to both our New Zealand listeners who have been commenting very well on our Facebook page. We do love you both. Also in the shooting, Jin Jong-woo from South Korea won the men's 50-metre pistol. Swimming, as we mentioned, Kyle Chalmers won the 100-metre freestyle. This is a big result. The 200-metre breaststroke was won by a Kazakhstanian, Jarrod Dmitry Balandin. I didn't know people from Kazakhstan could swim. This is great.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, that's impressive. That would be like us, the equivalent of us winning a medal in the Winter Olympic Games.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. This is big. They're celebrating big, long and hard in Kazakhstan. 200-metre butterfly. As I said, Madeline Grose won the silver, but it was actually won by a Spaniard in Maria Belmonte. Congratulations. And the swimming, where we also got a silver in the 200, 4x2. Who do you think won it? Of course, they did. Katie Ledecky, another gold. That's a third of the games, if I am not mistaken. And Missy Franklin, who we talked about yesterday, has been a bit of a dud these games. Well, she's gotten her gold because she was part of that team. Women's table tennis. China, Ding Ning from that good result for her. And in the weightlifting, as I said, well, actually, I didn't say, but actually, Kazakhstan won two gold today. We should mention this. They won another gold in the men's 77 kilogram. Nijat Rahimov in a world record lift, if you don't mind. There you go. Lifting heavy shit, you can break world records. And in the women's 69 kilogram, China took that one as well. Zhang Yangmei, gold for China in that event. So that means that we need to look at a certain tally of medals. And if I can get the right screen in front of me, I will be able to tell you that. Australia have dropped to fourth. Actually, we've jumped to fourth. We were, I think, fifth yesterday. So we have won five gold, two silver, five bronze, 12 in total. USA on top, 11 gold, 11 silver, 10 bronze. China second, Japan in third. See, if we had a, if bloody Berto had of won us that gold medal, Jarrod, we would be in third right now, because we've won more silver than Japan. So they've won six gold, one silver, and 11 bronze. Fifth, Hungary, the unfunny Hungarians. Hello, Hungary. We do love you. Five gold, one silver, one bronze. Canada are sitting pretty still in 34th place with their zero gold, one silver, five bronze. Doing very, very well. And New Zealand are still in 31st place with their two silver medals. And again, let's point that out. They are behind the independent Olympic athletes. Actually, just before we recorded this episode, Jarrod, as I said, I was watching the news, and our newsreader gives the medal tallies. He says, like, Australia, currently in fourth place, blah, blah, blah. And New Zealand are currently sitting in 31st place. Why do we have to have that on the news?

JARROD LOOBEEK: We can't help ourselves, can we?

BEN WATERWORTH: We have more neighbours than New Zealand, if they're trying to be polite. Indonesia's closer to Australia, isn't it, than New Zealand? Where's Indonesia? I think if they need to do this every day, just pull one out of your arse, like newsreaders of Australia. Don't just all of a sudden be like, and New Zealand are in third place. Be like, and Tonga, yet to win a medal. I'm just like, surprise us. And Sierra Leone, yep, still without a medal. I'm like, I'm down for that. Like, why can't we just do that?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, I would like to know whether Solomon Islands are coming, to be quite frank, and doesn't make the news coverage, which is a shame.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, I want to take you, still without a medal. Come on, fix it up, newsreaders. So, yes, there we go. That wraps up the result and the medals and everything along those lines. Jarrod, what did you watch on day five? Obviously, we touched on a few things. Is there anything else that you watched that we haven't mentioned?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, it was just a lot of confusion. The sailing I mentioned before was just utter confusion. Water polo was confusing. The hockey was great to watch just because of the commentary and all the names rhyming. Yeah, nothing that we haven't mentioned. The Beach volleyball is definitely a highlight. Winning the third of our group games, I mean, that was top notch.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I want to touch a little bit on the Beach volleyball when we get to our Channel 7 segment, because I actually want to implement something a little bit interesting in that segment today. But I watched a bit of that, and I found it fascinating, I think. It must have been a bit chilly in Rio today. I don't know if you saw that, because one of the Australian teams were wearing a T-shirt underneath their bikini. It must have been a bit chilly. And the Dutch, they were wearing track pants and a jumper, basically, with their bikini on the outside. So, you know, it's interesting to see. I mean, there's been a lot of talk, I guess, about the attire of what they wear in beach volleyball. But, I mean, did you pay attention to the ones that were wearing, like, T-shirts and jumpers and tracky-dacks?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, it looked weird just because of what beach volleyball normally is. But, I mean, I'd like to see athletes change up in all sports what they wear. I'd like to see a 100-metre runner do that in a tracksuit and see how they fare.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. Do swimmers do it in a snuggie? Like, you know, come on, Michael Phelps, you've won 21 gold, how many can you do wearing a snuggie? I don't know how he would go there. Thorpey would win it in a snuggie, wouldn't he, Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Well, that's pretty much what he wore anyway. I mean, what's the difference between that morph suit and a snuggie? I mean, just a couple of pieces of fabric.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's actually fascinating with swimming, isn't it? Obviously, we had the whole super suit era, which they banned them, and now they just basically wear the shorty shorts or the Speedos again. But I mean, we all remember back in Sydney, Thorpey's suit, and they all used to wear them, and we just got used to them. Remember, obviously, Kathy won the gold in her version of the super suit in athletics. I miss the days where they're wearing full-length suits in swimming because really, when you think about sports that you can increase things with technology, like swimming is one of the very few that there's really not a whole lot you can do. So, like, why they can't wear these suits, I don't see it as a problem. I mean, you know, it's technology in some form or another. Like, I say bring them back.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, I don't see the problem either. I think every other sport kind of advances and moves on. I mean, we don't see the tennis players still using wooden rackets. Obviously, bikes have probably changed a whole lot over the years. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, there's going to be a new super suit at some point in time. Maybe it's going to be the Snuggie, and the Snuggie will have to be banned from all swimming competitions, which would be a real shame. It just seemed like a big overreaction to me at the time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, and the stupid thing is, is that they allowed all the world records to stay. It's like, oh, these are illegal. No, they're making people swim too fast. We can't have these. But all the world records you broke wearing them, we'll keep them. Like, that's like the most stupid thing. Oh, Lance Armstrong, you're on drugs, mate. You can't have your gold. Take all your Tour de France's away, they're shit. But you broke a lot of records, we'll keep them in there still.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I mean, that's just encouraging people to take drugs and cheat. It's making these unrealistic expectations of how fast they can swim. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Stupid, probably didn't want to offend somebody who set a world record in a super suit. More problems than it was worth getting rid of them.

BEN WATERWORTH: Probably Chinese swimmers, and they were scared they were going to get splashed. I say, just go back to ancient Olympic times. Nude, everybody has to swim naked. There you go, that's your true ability. Let's see how Michael Phelps does when his dong is hanging out in the pool.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Exactly, leveling the competition field.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly, remember that? You ever used to watch Round The Twist growing up?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I did catch bits and pieces of it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Here's a real throwback and the most random thing I'm ever going to bring up on Off The Podium, but there was that episode where Bronson swam because he had a whirling willy. There you go, folks. People who are listening to this outside of Australia, they're going, what the fuck is Round The Twist and a whirling willy? I'm glad Colin's done on this episode today. But there you go. And he was in like a swimming race, and he swam really fast because his doodles spin around really fast. So, like, there you go. I could win a gold medal in the Olympics if I could time that. Look out, Tokyo. Ben Waterworth's going to win a gold because he can spin his penis. Anyway, what did I watch? Round The Twist, apparently. I watched beach volleyball, swimming, basketball. I was paying attention to the shooting because I'm meant to be in the double trap now. I don't know if you saw any of this, but obviously these guys have double-barrelled shotguns, essentially, trying to shoot these things flying in the air that turn pink as you shoot them. Great. Fantastic. Shooting, another sport which really isn't exactly the most exciting sport to watch ever. But anyway. And when they're doing the overhead shots of these people, you see the fence, like in the background, but this fence is probably only about a metre and a half high. These birds are flying up probably four or five metres. And behind that fence is a highway. Like, I'm sure, like, if there's a Brazilian car pulling his kids to school, and like, you know, our friend from the Independent Olympic Athletes misses a bird, goes a little bit too far and just accidentally, like, shoots a couple of Brazilians taking their people to school. Like, there's got to be an issue there, Sean. There's got to be a safety issue there, Jarrod.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, well, I mean, judging by the standard of the opening ceremony, they obviously ran out of money. And I mean, cutbacks are going to happen. We've seen the green pool. Now we find out that the shooting fence is below standards. That's not high enough. I mean, who knows what's next? There may not be an athletics track. I haven't seen it. There's no evidence it exists. We'll see when we get to that event, but I have a feeling that the athletics will not be run in a stadium.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm pretty certain that Javelin will be held with a grandstand behind where they throw the poles. Oh, he's a world record! Oh, it's gone into the crowd! Oh, and it's taken out five people sitting down, the only five people at the event. That's why there's no crowd there, Jarrod. They're all getting killed by rogue bullets and rogue beach balls and the green pool. Like, I can't imagine what colour the water is in the toilets. Like, if the pool's green. I just... I seriously... I can't get over this. This is the Olympic Games, the pinnacle of sport, the greatest event in the world every four years. You know, countries bid and spend so much money in order to host these. And you've got the frickin diving pool is turning green with algae, and the Brazilians are just like, hey, that's fine. We need to analyse this more. This is terrible. This is absolutely ridiculous. People laughed at me when I said Hobart could hold the Olympics. Brazil has a green pool. They can't... This is a cleaning problem.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean... I think the funniest comment I read was from the synchronized divers who commented about, yes, when we land in the water, we can't even see where our partner is.

BEN WATERWORTH: Those underwater cameras where they look so, like, agile floating to the top, they're like, Ah, my eyes! My eyes! Oh, what's going on? They get out of the pool gasping for air. My limbs are falling off.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, when we start to see them wearing... When the divers start wearing goggles and nose plugs, then we know that it's becoming a real issue.

BEN WATERWORTH: They're wearing their snuggies, wearing hazmat suits. Diving into the pool. In The Simpsons, the fish that comes out with the three eyes, they're interviewing the British Behu One. One's got an extra limb coming out of his head, and the other one's like crawling on the ground.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, if we're being honest, that should have been the mascot for the Olympic Games, the three-eyed fish. Yes, it will be. Or just an algae spore by itself.

BEN WATERWORTH: I just love the attitude of the Brazilian organizers. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Oh, God, this is amazing. And here we were thinking that everything was going OK in Rio. What else? I didn't really watch much else. I should have... The cycling, the time trial, they were showing this bit where it was going on like a beach. It was quite pretty. It was quite nice. But the road was... The area was gravel, and you could tell that they had just gotten a large bit of bitumen and cement and just made a road out of it. It looked very dodgy. And then the commentators were like, yes, and that's the concrete part that they installed just for these Olympic Games. Why do they have to hold it there? Because when it's at the beach, it looks pretty. Again, Brazil. Oh, it's fine. They can ride on the gravel. Don't worry about it.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, we had them going over the cobblestones in the road race, and now they're going over this gravel. Who knows what's next? What they're going to ride over next? I don't know what's... The velodrome. What is the surface in the velodrome? We did have a crash there from the Australians in practice, and that could be the reason.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's like a leaking pipe with raw sewage onto the track. That's why... It's fine. It's fine. It won't hurt you at all. I don't know why Brazilians are Thomas Bach all of a sudden. I blame Thomas Bach. I don't blame Brazil. Anyway, again, no crowds. There's nobody going to these games still, Jarrod. I mean, have you, again, have you got your tickets to everything at the moment? We could probably afford it.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, they have to start doing some kind of package deal here. Obviously, the sailing is free. That's why it's got the big crowds. Just make everything free or bundle some events together that typically go together. I mean, put the rugby sevens with the synchronized swimming. That's a big overlap of the fan base right there.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, you got so many empty seats, you could put a pool in the crowd and make it green. Why not have them playing the rugby in the middle of the athletics while they're doing the laps around the track? That's fine. Have them synchronize swimming in the middle of the 1,500-metre freestyle. I mean, they're there in the pool for long enough. They can dodge and dive between them. Why not?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, that would have been the ideal solution. All the events in the one stadium, no matter what it is, the road race still in that stadium, the sailing in that stadium, in the pool, I mean, that would have saved them money. They would have been able to sell a combined ticket. The stadium would be packed. The television stations would love it. They'd only need one channel, because everything would be on at the same time, so you could just watch things, things in the background, things in the foreground. That could be a real solution. Flintland 2028, I think they probably will look into that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Look at us saving the IOC money. We're going to get a phone call from Thomas Bach by the end of these two weeks. You boys, you're so good at saving money. You're president of IOC. We'll make sure the pool's not green in Tokyo, Thomas. It's all good. Athlete of the Day, do you have anybody that you've got of note at all, Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I have a potential from one of the days that I wasn't here.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's not Birdo, is it?

JARROD LOOBEEK: So we're going a little bit back in time, and I'm hoping that they haven't been mentioned. Have you talked about Chinese boxer LV Bin?

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, look, he was on my list, but no, I didn't get to him yet, so please talk about him.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Well, in perhaps my favourite moment of the game so far, apart from New Zealand finishing fourth in the equestrian, we had a beautiful boxing match. I don't know what the weight class was. I haven't written it down, but it was between Chinese boxer LV Bin and Kenyan boxer Peter.

BEN WATERWORTH: Peter? Just like Madonna, one name.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, Peter, that's it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, he's obviously huge in Kenya if he just can get away with one name. Oh, Peter, oh, the boxer, yes.

JARROD LOOBEEK: In the boxing, it comes down to the final round. The judge is there holding both the arms or waiting for the decision on who's won. He raises the Kenyan's arms, and then the Chinese LV Bin, he just has the biggest celebration of his life, not really realising that he's just lost. And then he comes to realise that, oh, wait, that's not my arm that's raised. I've just lost. And he's so embarrassed, and just the whole spectacle, it's one of the best things I've seen. Make sure you check it out.

BEN WATERWORTH: I have to look it up. Was his arm numb because he'd been swimming in the diving pool that morning and lost all sensation, so it felt like his arm was being lifted?

JARROD LOOBEEK: It could be.

BEN WATERWORTH: Or was he just doing a Derek Zulander? No matter what happens, he was going to hear his name.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Well, it's just a typical boxing thing, isn't it? They're so overconfident, they're really cocky, they have to act like they've won, but LVB and he took the acting a little bit too far.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, I'm Googling that straight away. Well, I think that does everything I've got. I was going to mention Kyle Chalmers would just be cliché. Again, we didn't know who he was 24 hours ago. We should get some recognition. Special note to the Qatari Beach Volleyball Team. I didn't even know there was such a thing as the Qatari Beach Volleyball Team of Jefferson Pierre and Shariff Younorsi. They're actually doing fairly well. They're in a position where they might make it through to the next round. And I was actually doing a bit of research on these two, and they qualified for the Olympics by winning a qualifying tournament held in Cairns in Australia. So there you go. We've got a slight connection to the Qatari's. They're sitting in second place right now in Pool F, just behind the Spanish team of Guevara and Herrera. And ahead of those Austrians, we know all about them, the Huber and Sadel, and the Americans, Gibbon Patterson. I don't know how the Americans are going to go home knowing that they got beaten by Qatari's and beach volleyball. So this is fascinating. But just a real special, I'm going to give it to, you're talking about the boxing, and we're talking about horrific injuries the other day with that French gymnast. I don't know if you saw any of the new ones going around of the Armenian weight lifter, Andranik Karapetayan, one of the greatest Armenian weight lifters that we've ever seen. In the men's 77 kilogram, he was doing his lift, and his arm buckled underneath him, and he has basically dislocated his elbow. And I'm looking at some pretty disturbing images of him holding his arms in the video. I don't know if I want to see the video, but yes, his arm is just looking like it shouldn't. Let's point it that way. So we're talking about those injuries, Jarrod. He's the one that's happened.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, oh.

BEN WATERWORTH: He's just seen it. Live reaction.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, this is similar to the leg. The elbow should not go that way. Poor guy. I think this is one of the things. He would have loved the replacement thing, like the replacement bike.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. Replacement arm. Like, need a new arm. I don't really have a wife today, Jarrod. Bad news yesterday. Don't know if you caught it. Sadly for myself, Brit Elmsley, she's got a boyfriend. So don't know how I'm going to go there. And both Colin and I stalked her a little bit on Instagram, found a picture of her boyfriend, and like both, I think, Colin and I were going to go after her boyfriend instead, because he's quite, you know, he's all right. He's pretty good. But yesterday's wife turned in to Brianna Throssell, our eighth place finisher in the 200 metre butterfly. She too sadly has a boyfriend, who is a pretty decent footballer playing in Western Australia, a standover medallist, I believe, in the waffle. Anybody who doesn't live in Australia has no idea what I just said then. So, yeah, I think I might have to stick to my Croatian nearly legal gymnast, Anna Derick. That sounds so wrong the way I put it. But yesterday, well, actually, we found this one yesterday, Jarrod. We love, we know how much you love rhythmic gymnastics and the whole ribbons and the balls. You think it's a sport, of course you do. Yesterday's fan message for us went to our only athlete in the rhythmic gymnastics, Daniella Prince. Now, we looked her up. She's pretty cute. She's wife material. Last night, they happened to have on Channel 7 one of these athlete profile segments with Daniella Prince. I got excited. And yeah, I'm putting her up there. She's, yep, I'm going to definitely watch her throw that ribbon and attempt to catch it because that is making you excited. And to make it even better, Jarrod, you laugh and think, well, this isn't a sport. Australia is not good at rhythmic gymnastics. She is a Commonwealth Games gold medallist at the 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games. So I think you're getting a little bit jealous right now.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, she's in form. It's really the pinnacle of the sporting world rhythmic gymnastics. Yeah, so I may have to give her to watch this year.

BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. They were showing some of her training routines, the way she was rolling the balls and laying on her shoulders and her arms. Like, oh, doing things to me. Channel 7. Shit, shit, shit. That's our segment that we like to call this. And I'm adding a new section to this one today, Jarrod. It's called news.com.au. Even shitter, shitter, shitter. We'll get to them. But let's first of all, Channel 7. Before I get to a couple of the commentary ones, we talked a little bit about the other day Zumbos Just Desserts. I talked a little bit about yesterday about the big music quiz. Like, only in Australia do they create a show about celebrities trying to guess who sings a song. I mean, we're all for that. But have you noticed the constant referrals by the commentators on each of the channels as on the channels of 7? Now, am I the only one that that annoys the shit out of?

JARROD LOOBEEK: No, yeah, that's so pretentious. And yeah, I'm with you on that. I haven't heard it, but now that you've mentioned it, I can just guarantee that every time I do hear it, it's going to make my blood boil. It's like they're this big entity. They're taking over the world, the channels of 7. Yeah, I'm all aboard. I'm with you aboard that train of hating that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yep, yep. The other few words that I've noted here, we know how they have, if you're watching a certain channel, they'll bring up like the little ribbon down the bottom, like Aussie Alert, you know, Berto's about to lose us a goal. Switch to 7, mate. I noticed the one this morning, after we'd won the gold, after Kyle had won us our gold medal, they pop up the ribbon down the bottom, Anthem Alert, Kyle Chum is about to receive gold. Anthem Alert, it's like breaking news. The Australian National Anthem is about to be played somewhere in the world. I'm getting excited. What the hell is an Anthem Alert?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, is that making people turn to the channel or turn away from the channel? Maybe this is just a warning for people who can't stand the anthem. The anthem is coming. Change channels now. I mean, we're just going to start seeing them from everything, aren't we? Australia arrives at the airport, alert. Australia walks out of the Olympic Village, alert. Augie in the pool, alert.

BEN WATERWORTH: But we were talking a little bit about this yesterday, actually, because at the swimming, we mentioned earlier during the week about, Colin mentioned the Canadian coverage, how they had a former Olympian watching a Canadian Olympian winning a medal. That was important enough to show. We had the footage yesterday of them cutting to the Olympic Village, showing Australian swimmers on their phones on Twitter. It was after Sun Yang won his gold medal yesterday. They cut to Mack Horton, who's sitting on this couch in the Athletes' Village on his phone, to which Basil Zempels is like, clearly tweeting about Sun Yang there. And they did this again. They cut to the Athletes' Village to show Australian swimmers' athletes' reaction to Kyle Chalmers winning the 100m. Now, my question I ask here is not necessarily Channel 7 showing this. Why the hell are these swimmers not in the stands at the actual swimming, cheering them on? I remember Sydney 2000. They cut to the Aussie team in the crowds. You know, Thorpey winning gold. You know, Grant Hackett winning gold. They're in the crowd. They're cheering them. Why are they being lazy bastards and sitting in there? Like, are they... No wonder there's empty seats. Even the athletes aren't going to watch the athletes.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think hashtag one team was taken a little bit too literally, and they didn't understand that actually meant getting out and supporting each other rather than just hashtagging that on Twitter. I mean, they're trying to get that trending. I'm proud of them for doing that. But yeah, really, they should be out supporting each other. I mean, that's the point of the Olympics. I think it was John Millman said that he was going to stick around and watch the other tennis players finish their matches after he got eliminated. I mean, that's what you want to see from a team, sticking together, going beyond hashtag one team and actually being one team.

BEN WATERWORTH: You know what it is. The reason they're sitting around the couches on their phones is because they're all on fricking Tinder. Like, how many condoms did they say were going to be in the athletes' fields? This is what they're doing. They're all trying to hook up. You know, this is millennials, Jarrod. This is what they do. You know, like, we can't exactly talk. We're basically millennials ourselves. But, like, you know, this is the future of the Olympics. This is why nobody's in the crowd, because it's the athletes who are too busy trying to hook up on Tinder. So...

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it's either that or... I question maybe their training for when eSports inevitably makes its debut at the Olympic Games. Because won't that be a great day?

BEN WATERWORTH: Actually, you know what it is. I have not mentioned this in any of our episodes, and I've had it written down on my notes every single day, but I just haven't got around to it. Don't know if you've downloaded the official mobile video game for the Rio 2016 Olympics. They're all on that playing. It's actually kind of addicting. You can do archery, you can do tennis on it, you can do basketball. It's kind of fun. And with the absence of an actual proper video game, unless you buy the Sonic and Mario one, I like it. So, like, I'm guessing that's what they're doing, Jarrod. They're actually, you know, there's Mack Horton going, I'm going to win a gold medal in archery today. You know, stick it up those bronze medallists from the real archery.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I can just see them doing that and then going to rub it in their faces. I mean, obviously those sports are very similar. Playing it on your phone and doing it in real life, I imagine the difference is minimal at best.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly. Now, just before I get to the news.com.au ones, just a couple of commentary ones that I've written here. I mentioned the whole Basil, you know, not knowing who Charmers is in the race. Now, a couple of ones here. I can't remember the name of the guy who's always on pull deck interviewing people. The guy who got fobbed off by Michael Phelps, who we were talking about yesterday. But I don't know, I can't remember who he was interviewing, but he's so Australian. Turns around to whoever he's interviewing, bloody good race and a bloody good effort. If there's people from Australia not watching this, they're going, wow, they really do sound like that in Australia. Then Taylor McCowen, who we mentioned before, fastest to the 200 metre breaststroke. In her interview, she says, she's the fastest qualifier, but still says, look, I've got more on the tank. By saying that, she says, I didn't want to come to the Olympics and spend all my chips in the semis. I've never heard of the phrase spend all my chips.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, that's a confusing one. She needs to take some media lessons. Surely, she'll be happy to be talking to you. She might get some good tips from Hashtag One team. Obviously, she wasn't on Twitter enough to get a good saying for interviews, so she needs to work on that.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think that there's a large portion of the Australian Olympic team needs some media training between calling out drug cheats and starting wars with China to wishing, you know, saying people are dead to them like this. You know, like, yeah, it's a bit tedious. The whole, yeah, you know, boys put in good effort, all four quarters, you know, there's no iron team. Like, it's bullshit, but it does the job. You're not starting splashing wars with, like, a world superpower. Yes, get the media training. Now, news.com.au, they've always been a fun website to which people, quote, are a news website. Now, they've obviously sent a few reporters over to Rio, or they're doing a few things here and there, and they've got their lovely little articles. Now, the one that I've singled out here that I noticed yesterday, they've highlighted a swimmer by the name of Robel Kuros-Habati. Now, he's from Ethiopia. Now, this is, you know, it's not just the fact, like, why the hell is an Ethiopian swimming? Their headline is, how did Robel Kuros-Habati qualify to swim in the Olympics? Like, that's the literal headline, to which they say, if some swimmers consider second place to be the first of the losers, spirit of thought for Ethiopian swimmer, blah, blah, blah. By the time the chubby 24-year-old, I'm just going to end it there. Like, they're basically saying, this guy's fat, he shouldn't be in the Olympics. Now, personally, I'm offended. Secondly, if he's in the Olympics, if he's Ethiopia's best swimmer, he's qualified for the Olympics, good on him. Who cares if he's skinny or fat? This is fascinating that our number one online website is saying he's fat, he shouldn't be in the Olympics.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think this is a case of the gold medals going to the head. We had that day of not winning really anything, and now we get a couple of gold medals and we feel we can just bag everybody else out, which, I mean, we do, but we probably shouldn't.

BEN WATERWORTH: Probably being an understatement. Now, the other one that I forgot to bring up the other day, when America won the gold, I think it was in the 4x1 in the men's, there was a famous moment, already famous, Ryan Heldren, the swimmer, was caught balling his eyes out, absolutely crying. So, of course, everyone was all like, oh, sweet, how emotional, blah, blah, blah. So, this journalist on news.com today, I'm going to name him James Mathie, he leads with the following sentence. This is the opening line of his story. Ryan Held must know how Justin Bieber feels. Now, I'll continue here. Not in regards to the whole con your way into earning millions of dollars for producing shit music thing, though. We're thinking more along the lines of somehow convincing a large chunk of the female population to fall in love with you, Variety. This is a guy who has probably gotten a degree in journalism. He's probably as qualified as I am, and he's writing on a website comparing an Olympian to Justin Bieber before saying Justin Bieber produces shit music. Now, I learned in journalism that you have to be fairly unbiased and you're not really meant to be opinionated when it comes to stories a lot of the time. That is ridiculous.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, tell us how you really feel, James. I didn't even know what to say to that.

BEN WATERWORTH: How can a website that is pertaining to being news somehow compare an Olympic swimmer to Justin Bieber before throwing away a comment saying that Bieber produces shit music? Oh, so that's why we're now going to call this Channel 7 Shit Shit Shit and news.com.au Even Shitter Shitter Shitter. So, what will be on tomorrow? Find out. Now, this is usually the point of the show where Colin Guzza is a Canadian athlete of the day and reads out their profile. Now, obviously he's not here, but I've managed to somehow find one. They've got this on their website, as well as their app. Now, I was trying to find the profile of our richest Canadian Olympian in penny altsiak, but I couldn't find her. So, I've managed to find a random one, a field hockey player from Canada. I actually know what that is. And Tony Kindler, one of your favourite Canadian field hokkers, I don't doubt, Jarrod. So, it starts off with, My name is Anthony Kindler, and I am Canadian. Draw a picture of yourself, as we know. Now, this picture is like a stick figure with meat on their bones and very strong muscles and spiky hair. And he writes a little text next to it, Wish I could say a five-year-old drew this. Actually, if a five-year-old drew this, I'd be very impressed. It's quite a good drawing. He's got very neat writing, by the way. Should I say this for our Antoni? My favourite Olympic moment is Canada winning gold in hockey, that's ice hockey, at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics and being in the city to take part in the celebration. That's nice. If you could choose an Olympic city to host a city, where would it be? Vancouver for the summer games. In my spare time, I most like to spend time with my family and friends. That's pretty boring. The weirdest instruction a coach ever gave me was... Now, he's actually written something, crossed it out, and then written something underneath it. Listen here, boys. We can't just have you out here making big truck turns. We need Ferrari turns. Now, I played field hockey for a very long time, and I don't think I ever heard a coach try and explain something to me like that. So, whatever a Ferrari turn is. Anyway, drew a picture of a Canadian animal. He's actually drawing a beaver. We talked about this the other day, Jarrod. No one draws a beaver. He's drawing a beaver. So, that's a good start. Favourite sandwich? Meatball from Meat and Bread on Cambie Street in Vancouver. Bit of subtle advertising there. Good venue there in Vancouver. Like I've been to Vancouver, but can't quite say I went to Meat and Bread on Cambie Street. Official food supplier for the Flintlawn 2028 Games. If you can have any superpower, it would be teleportation. Again, everybody says that. Best candy in the world? Those black and white penguin gummies that taste like peaches from 7-Eleven. Oh yes, those ones.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Very popular in Australia.

BEN WATERWORTH: Huge, huge. Favourite sports team as a kid. He's clearly from Vancouver because his favourite team is the Vancouver Canucks. His Olympic medal is literally a medal with the Rio 2016 logo on it that says gold. Nothing original there. Favourite sports movie. He's crossed out Happy Gilmore and written Nacho Libre. Like come on, Happy Gilmore. If he could live anywhere, he would live in Kitsilano in Vancouver, BC. I'd love it if one of these said Flynn Fawn. That would be the best thing ever. If he wasn't, when he was literally thought to be a firefighter. My favourite joke to tell is, what does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business. Yep, I don't get it. Yeah, it must be a Canadian thing. Colin probably would be laughing his ass off right now. My favourite workout is, if you're listening to this, Colin, please explain to us what the hell that means. My favourite workout is beach weights. If I could have lunch with any person, it would be Warren Buffett, and write in cursive, live your passion. And he's written, live your passion. So, thank you so much.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Still marks there.

BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. So, on this, have you downloaded the Australian Olympic app yet, Jarrod? You got it yet?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I have.

BEN WATERWORTH: Have you got some fan messages perhaps for once?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Maybe. You have put me on the spot.

BEN WATERWORTH: Alright, well while you get it up, I've got a few here. You missed our JMAC. Were you here for JMAC the other day? I don't think you were, were you?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I was here for JMAC. That was before Berto screwed my life over.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's true, that's right. Yesterday's fan message, we, as I said, sent it off to Daniel Prince, and the exact line was, no matter what Jarrod says, we think you compete in a real sport. So Jesse from New South Wales to Emma McKeon. Hi Emma, I'll watch you on the TV winning the race. Good luck, from Jesse. So if she doesn't win, will you stop watching? Oh, he's a Tasmanian. Jasper Kubank from Tasmania to Chris Goulding. Good luck at the Olympics and your MBL career. Keep up the good work. We know you will try your hardest to win us a gold medal. We will be here cheering you on. That's good to know. To Larissa Miller from Jessica Lewis. Great gymnastics, you inspire me. That's good. To Mary Hanna. She's 61 years old, isn't she? From Myetta in Victoria. Hi, Granny. Love you. I really hope that's her granddaughter. Otherwise, she's just being mean. Please tell us that is her granddaughter. And finally, the McCartney family. I don't know if you've got any more to add, Jarrod, but to Elia Green. Elia, you just make it look like fun. The best bit was seeing you interviewed by your mum. We like that a lot, and send you lots of hugs to you both. We are proud of you, and your mum, and all the team. One of our rugby sevens players. Did you find any there at all, Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, not much to add. I do love to Maria Furtaco del Soler. I love you, Maria Furtaco. You are a great woman from Javier.

BEN WATERWORTH: Damn straight. I'm just trying to see some of these. They are pretty boring, aren't they? Natasha Grogan from Queensland to Leekwood Clancy. She's one of our beach volleyball players, isn't she? Too deadly, sister. That's nice. This one is too hockey. We discovered this yesterday that you could send one to the entire sport. Somehow we didn't know how to do it, but whatever. From Isabel Soto. We just had that person. To hockey. Watching you girls right now up against India. You girls are awesome. Keep up the awesomeness. So anyway, what sport? Who are we going to send it to today, Jarrod? Give me a sport.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, it's got to be the divers, isn't it? Diving to that green pool.

BEN WATERWORTH: Bloody oath. I don't know if they'll be able to read. I mean, well, they might have extra eyes. So, all right. Find an athlete. Diving. So who do we want? We've got Dominic Bedgood. We've got to give it to him straight away. I'm not even reading the rest. He's good in bed. Good on you, Dominic. There's nothing better than that. His nickname is Dom. I didn't realise this had their nicknames and things like that on it. That's awesome. He was first in the 2006 Australian Open Championships, sixth in the World Series in Kazan in Russia, and most importantly, 11th in the 2006 World Series in Windsor, Canada this year. So, of course, went to Belmont State Primary School in Queensland. What a school that is. All right, what are we going to say to Mr. Bedgood? Your bedding good might not be anymore with the green pool? I don't know. It would be a shame if he didn't live up to his name. Mmm. You dive well, don't get an extra limb. I don't know. Maybe you should pee in the pool to make it green and gold.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, there's a thought.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, it's got to be that, doesn't it?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah.

BEN WATERWORTH: Make sure you pee in the pool and make it... The AOC are just going to end up banning our email address. Make sure you pee in the pool and make it green and gold. There we go. There's a gold medal coming to Dominic Bedgood. And if you've also bedded Dominic, let us know if his name lives up to his reputation. If his reputation lives up to his name, that probably works more sense. Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and say that. Day 6, we're on to the 6th day tomorrow. That's usually what happens. 19 gold medals are up today, Jarrod, if you don't mind. A lot going on. Golf starts today. Oh, aren't we excited. How long has it been since golf's been in the Olympics? Talk about TV sports. I'm excited for this.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Potentially not long enough.

BEN WATERWORTH: Potentially not long enough. Now, I think maybe tomorrow we might talk about this. We haven't really gone too much about sports that should be an Olympic sport. Now, golf obviously alongside with rugby, returning to the Olympics for the very first time. Just really quickly, do you think golf should be an Olympic sport?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Really quickly? No.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's as quick as we need it. Alright, track cycling begins tomorrow as well. So, the medals that are being decided, so we're going to have some medals in table tennis. We're on to that one. Swimming obviously again, shooting again. Rugby sevens, last day of competition for that. The men's medals. Come on, Fiji! Knock off the Japanese. Rowing, well, they need to catch up on that one. More judo. Sad news there. Jarrod, only two more days of judo to go. So, whatever shall we do? Last day for, well, actually, in terms of the all-around women, last day of artistic gymnastics. We'll have a couple of days break before trampolining, before we're back to the individuals of the real gymnastics there. Fencing, another goal being decided there. Track cycling kicks off today, as I mentioned. Tomorrow, I should say, canoeing. Now, this is a big one for Australia. Two golds go up to grabs, including our very own Jess Fox, of course, qualified second for the semifinal. Got to make the final yet. She's one of our big chances here, Jarrod. Are we going to put the Mickey or the Curse on her and say she's going to win it, or are we just going to hope that she gets a medal?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I think we just jinx her and say she's going to win it. I mean, she's already won a silver. We've got silvers now. We don't need any more of those. We've got five bronze. I don't think we need any more of those. So we need gold. And if you don't get gold, don't come home.

BEN WATERWORTH: Pure and simple. If only you had said that to Berto two days ago. Jarrod's not holding back now with our athletes. We know that she's a big listener to Off The Podium. You know, she gets a Beats by Dre before going down the canoe, and she's actually listening to us instead of, you know, listening to the Bieber who produces shit music. So, yes, come on. Come on, Jess. We'll get excited. And Archery Meadows there. So, just quickly, we're only... Actually, this is fairly decent. We're only about a day away now from athletics starting, so get excited for that. And we're ever closer to the modern pentathlon. So, bring it on, I say. Exciting times. Jarrod, just before we go, we should mention in terms of... Obviously, we always mention our Facebook page, email, iTunes, all the regular channels where you can get involved. Send us messages, tweet us. We don't have a Twitter, actually, but use hashtag Off The Podium, and we'll find it somewhere. Now, we mentioned yesterday's show. We had a couple of comments from two New Zealanders. Big shout out to Carly, as well as to Riley for commenting there. Now, Carly's left us another comment where she's written, Shakespeare's head, wink face. So, clearly, she's loving it. We had a couple of wall posts as well. Catherine, one of our long-term listeners for anything on the Oz Network, she's written, Stupid Channel 7. So, I get home from work, switching on the TV to watch some highlights. And what is 7-2 playing? Swimming from Beijing. Well, you should have been watching 7, mate. Catherine, that's where it's at. So, and Carly actually, I mentioned her, this one's doing the rounds a little bit. It's quite funny. Posted a photo on our wall. It's from the Glasgow Commonwealth Games. I'm guessing he's a swimmer or a diver. His name is Richard Funk. But because he's from Canada, with the three-letter symbol of CAN, the screen literally says, Can Richard Funk? I think that's quite funny. So, thank you very much, Carly, for sending that in to us. And just quickly on iTunes, we made it to number three on the Amateur Sports Podcast in Australia. That's pretty good. We'll take it. And we got an extra comment since our last time on here. Carly in Oz, thanks Carly, says, These guys should be doing the official commentary. Well, if you work for Channel 7 or any of these networks, I'm sure like the Sierra Leone TV network might be short in a few commentators. I'll happily fly over with Jarrod and Colin to commentate the fake gymnastics. So, thank you, Carly. Please, iTunes, subscribe to us on there, and yes, leave us a rating, even if you think we're shit. Like, even if you honestly think we're shit. Tell us we're shit, so we can bag you out on here at least, and say that we're not shit, you're shit. But Jarrod, thank you for your time again. It's good to have you back. And yeah, Dressage is there still, but you know, Berto, not welcome back home in Australia, really, by your standards.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, Dressage, that's been... I'm boycotting that. I'm not getting my hopes up. I think you said we're in 9th, and that's where I'm just going to assume we stay. Apart from that, everything else is looking good. Looking forward to the basketball tonight. It'll be good to get to see it. And for the cycling, the velodrome, to get underway, I mean, that'll be really good.

BEN WATERWORTH: Hopefully it will stay in one piece, how it all goes. Thanks for tuning in. We'll be back tomorrow with more Off The Podium. It's been a bloody good episode today. And remember, don't spend all your chips on listening to us. Good night from Off The Podium.