Rio 2016 Day 4 Review

More medals for both Australia and Canada today (well at least A medal for Canada) as Ben and Colin discuss all the events of the fourth day of the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. From putting Michael Phelps down a few pegs for being rude to Australian journalists, talking up Hungary as being a very serious nation and discovering several new sports for #FlinFlon28, our sixth episode has it all! Well, except people who want to listen to it for longer than 15 minutes...ahem...

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.

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BEN WATERWORTH: Good afternoon, evening and good night from Off The Podium, an Olympics podcast coming to you for our sixth episode, or as our silver medal winning Kiwis like to say, the Sox episode, as we are here to recap day four of Rio 2016, the Summer Olympics, just in case, for whatever reason you thought you were watching the Winter Olympics, but it's been another interesting and fascinating day, a less successful day perhaps for the Australians than we're used to. At the time of recording this, we have won two bronze medals, and for our Canadian friends, because at least 50% of this episode today is Canadian centric, they have won one bronze medal. But for them, that's a good thing. For us, winning two bronze medals, not as good as generally we expect. But speaking of things that are not as good as generally we expect, that's the motto for this episode. And the motto of this episode is also, Colin Hilding from Winnipeg in Canada, the president of the Flint Flown Organising Committee for the Olympic Games of 2028. Welcome back, Colin.

COLIN HILDING: And I think this officially is the Winter Olympics, because Canada has won five medals in four days, and that doesn't happen in the summer. Something's wrong here.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, it is. Well, isn't technically Rio in winter right now? I mean, they're in the Southern Hemisphere, right? We're in winter. They're in winter. So we're actually technically having the Summer Olympics in winter.

COLIN HILDING: And it was 27 degrees this morning in Rio. So that's their winter.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right. Wow, there you go. So they're hosting the Winter Olympics and the Summer Olympics at the same time. So yeah, go figure. But I mean, you've enjoyed day four, then. I mean, again, I was just mentioning this to you off air. I wake up from my several hours of slumber. I check the results. And generally, one of the first things I do is look at the metal tally and try and work out how many bronze medals Canada have won in the day. And I noticed they won another one. So again, yes, happy times for Canada.

COLIN HILDING: I think we should almost be disappointed in Penny Alexiak for winning that silver a few days ago because otherwise we could just say we are at our fifth medal. We wouldn't have to distinguish bronze medal or anything because that's all we pretty much win. But it was in an event that I loved. And overall, this was the first day that I had to work while watching the Olympics. And I'm out of the house about 11, 12 hours a day. And the fact that I only was able to watch maybe about three or four hours of Olympics today, every event I caught was just fantastic. I think this is probably my favourite day so far, not just for how Canada has performed, but even some of the events we didn't perform so well. And it's been a really entertaining day.

BEN WATERWORTH: And one thing I should mention, I agree with you actually, because I mean I caught a bunch of different events, some that I haven't watched much so far in these Olympics. But we're actually recording this at the time that we've still got a couple of events that are ongoing. I think both of you and I are glued right now to the swimming. So we've still got, hopefully by the time we get through this episode, the two remaining swimming events, the 4x200m freestyle relay, and the women's 200m individual medley will have been won and done and won. I think we're glued to this 200m breaststroke right now, that we're the semi-finals that we're watching.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, Wat Nobby's a lock.

BEN WATERWORTH: We can maybe talk about breaststroke at some point, because this is a fascinating stroke in the world of swimming. But anyway...

COLIN HILDING: Of all the strokes out there, breaststroke is at least in my top three.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. It's actually the one stroke... Actually, no, butterflies. I get them confused even though they're completely different. Butterflies are the one I can't do. Breaststroke I can do. I'm talking about swimming, people. Get your mind out of the gutter just because I'm that creepy guy who's trying to find a wife. All right? I'm not...

COLIN HILDING: Well, I just have to interrupt for a second. As I said, breaststroke is definitely my top three. My wife, who's on the other side of the apartment, overheard me, and I just heard her muttering, I bet it is.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I mean, I like the fact that she's questioning whether it is or not. Like, geez, you two must have a very interesting relationship. Anyway, so, recapping the results for Australia and Canada. We mentioned Canada won a bronze. I don't think we said what it was in. The 10-metre synchro diving platform. Is it platform? I don't know. You're Canadian. You love diving. What's the technical term for it? Just the 10-metre synchro?

COLIN HILDING: 10-metre platform synchro, something like that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Awesome. That's what I was thinking of. Now, I'm not going to say their names. You're going to say their names. Who are they?

COLIN HILDING: Megan Benfetto and Rosalind Phillion.

BEN WATERWORTH: Phillion.

COLIN HILDING: Right.

BEN WATERWORTH: Now, are these national icons of Canada, or was this an expected result?

COLIN HILDING: This was, I said in the 3-metre that it was expected. I think in retrospect, they did change up a member. One of the divers wasn't on the previous bronze medal team in the 3-metre. This 10-metre team, they've been diving together since they were teenagers, so over a decade. And they did win the bronze in London as well. So this is one of the events that I thought that we were, at the very least, going to get bronze in. I was hoping for a silver. We maybe came close, but yeah, they were famous long before this event ever happened today.

BEN WATERWORTH: So have they won Olympic medals before? Did you just say that? Was I not paying attention?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, bronze in London, yes.

BEN WATERWORTH: Sorry, I was watching what a Tarnaby just set the Olympic record.

COLIN HILDING: I picked his name at random and said he was a lock, and look at that, I was right.

BEN WATERWORTH: Breaking an Olympic record, so good choice there. Yeah, so bronze there, you came behind Malaysia, and I wonder who won gold. Do we want to have a guess who won gold? The team that we didn't think was actually going to be in it yesterday when we said about it.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, China is now 3 for 3. They got 5 to go to sweep the medals. This is basically, I don't know if you follow speed skating much in the Winter Olympics, but speed skating is pretty much, as long as I've been alive, the most dominant sport Canada has. And this pastime in speed skating, the Netherlands cleaned up with, it was like 80% of the events, they won the gold, and it was just the most insane sweep I'd ever seen. And I think China is gonna top even that this time in diving.

BEN WATERWORTH: Now, I personally know that the Dutch are good at speed skating, but I mean, seriously, if you know nothing about speed skating, and you say to somebody like, tell me who you think dominates in speed skating. The Dutch really aren't in the top 10, I would assume. You don't expect the Dutch to be good at speed skating, but good on them. We're gold medallists, our first ever Olympic gold medal came in short track, the famous Stephen Bradbury, everyone fell over and we crossed the line to win the gold. We'll still take that. Anyway, that's two years' time. We'll get to the Winter Olympics. For Australia, two bronze, we sadly, very sadly, again, this is why Jared's not with us today, because our equestrian team did what Australia does best. When we're favourites in an event, we choke. And sadly, in the team eventing, we couldn't hold on. Berto couldn't do it for us. And we fell to third. We took the bronze behind Germany and of all countries, France. We finally won a gold medal. And also, just recently, I'm actually literally watching her being interviewed right now on our TV, because she's just been given her medal. Emma McKeon took a bronze in the 200 metre freestyle in swimming. That is, of course, if you're wondering what sort of sport would have freestyle. So, two bronze. Our first day, we haven't won a gold medal, but it's okay, Australia, it's fine. We still might win a couple more, but we'll see how we go. But it's still good that we're winning medals, I guess. I don't know where I was going with that, Colin. I'm still just happy for Canada winning medals every day. I mean, talking about, oh, damn, we didn't win a gold, and you're just like going, shut up, we won medals.

COLIN HILDING: We did. We keep saying this, that the bronze is the Canadian gold. So, we haven't made right now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I guess kind of, because we know that Canada gives out money for their medals. I guess their budget, maybe, they're getting a bit worried, because they're like, oh, yeah, we only budgeted for, you know, one gold, two bronze and three silver, and all of a sudden they're like, oh, shit.

COLIN HILDING: Well, usually the goals from one Olympics to the next, there's big goals that are set, big benchmarks. You know, if we won 18 medals in one Olympics, then they'll say, we want to crack 22 next time. And it is surprising that their goal from London to now was that they wanted to increase from 18 to 19 medals. So there probably was something to that whole budget scare that we don't want to get too wild here, maybe just one extra medal.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's so fascinating to hear. I mean, this is something that I wish they would put online, like, what is every country's goal for the Olympics? Like, you know, Canada, we want to win 17, 18 medals. Australia, it's the finished top five. Does Uzbekistan come out and just be like, I don't know, we want one bronze in the national holiday. I don't know, I mean, Uzbekistan, I think have won more than one medal already.

COLIN HILDING: I think their goal is they want to be number one in the Estan rankings.

BEN WATERWORTH: True, yes, exactly. What we were talking about yesterday, the small states of Europe, like Liechtenstein, are just praying for a medal. Uzbekistan have won two bronze, so, gee, they've already doubled their tally that I was talking about. But, I mean, for Australia, like, you know, after one day, we're on top of the medal tally. It's like, oh, my God, we're the best in the world! And, like, just the things that people are saying and getting over the top. It's like, guys, China and USA obviously just haven't put any athletes on today. They've had a rest day. They're giving people a head start. Like, don't count your chickens. This isn't the Commonwealth Games, all right? Like, we're not going to top the mental tally. But, yeah, it's fascinating. Maybe people from other countries who are listening can tell us. Like, if you're listening from Uzbekistan, tell us what your country's goal was. Like, if you're listening... I know there are people listening from New Zealand. Like, what's the country reaction right now to Two Silver? Like, seriously, is it a national week of celebration? You know, like, oh, my God, Two Silver! We don't know what to do! That was a really bad decision.

COLIN HILDING: You know, as we've learned, I don't know if you want to get into it now, but we have as many New Zealand listeners that we have confirmed today as New Zealand has medals.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, that is actually true. That is a legitimate, true statement from Colin Hilding. Yes, we may as well say it now. We're on the topic of it. We had a couple of comments on our Facebook page, and a special shout out to, like, you legitimately know you're doing well when you've got two comments, and you can actually name them. Like, I'm sure Roy and HG have, like, two comments every.1 of a second. But Carly Wood and Riley Johnston, hello, across the Dutch. We got a messy comment from Carly saying, loving the podcast, guys, even if I am a Kiwi. And Riley Johnston said, even if they apologise for it, like, how does that make you feel? Because you should apologise. You're from New Zealand. Like, what?

COLIN HILDING: And there go Carly and Riley. We're sorry.

BEN WATERWORTH: I am legitimately meant to be going to New Zealand next month, and I think they got to be closing the borders. Can I see your passport? Oh, yes. Hello. How are you? Oh, are you Ben Water? Yes. Oh, no, I've heard about you.

COLIN HILDING: I want to give another shout out to another listener or reader, associate of the show, our first ever athlete to officially endorse Off The Podium. Canadian swimmer Emily Overholt, who liked one of my tweets involving I think it was episode two. And just yesterday, she replied to one of my tweets, a picture I put up of me and my three-month-old son watching her in the Olympics. As I told the story, he was so into her event that he would keep staring at the TV instead of eating. And then the next day, smiled at her and laughed and giggled as she was being interviewed on TV, which he's never done before. He usually doesn't do that in person. And she did reply to that. So big shout out to Emily Overholt, our number one fan.

BEN WATERWORTH: What did she say? Did she ask him out for a date? Like, you're trying to set them up. Like, I mean, I know it's a bit of an age gap, but...

COLIN HILDING: Yes, his future... What's the word for cougar, I guess? Emily Overholt, the cougar wife of my three-month-old son. Yeah, I don't have it open. I'll have the quote by the end of the episode here.

BEN WATERWORTH: The fact that she's 20 years old and considered a cougar.

COLIN HILDING: 18.

BEN WATERWORTH: 18. Oh, sorry, jeez. You can tell Colin that I like to add a couple of years to the girls' ages just to make me feel better. Oh, here we go.

COLIN HILDING: So the picture I posted was us watching her as she was being introduced in her event, and she replied and said, this is so cute with an exclamation mark. Thanks for cheering.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, oh, that's sweet. I think we should all make it a goal to see what athletes we can get to reply to us. Even like, I mean, I'm waiting for these fan messages to, like, you know, come back to us from the AOC to be like, you know, Ben, you know, Britt Elmsley read your message. You know, he's a phone number.

COLIN HILDING: Funny enough, on that topic, one of Canada's more famous volleyball players on the men's team, Rudy Verhoef.

BEN WATERWORTH: Of course, yes.

COLIN HILDING: Today, I saw, I saw as I'm coming home from work, a tweet that he tweeted. And when I opened it up, it was basically, I don't know if it's, it was just a link that he had myself and about six other people tagged in for some charity called Save The Children, the US site. So I don't, I don't know if he's aware that he's actually promoting the US site, because I looked up and there is a Canadian site for Save The Children. And I felt special for a second, like I'm one of maybe six people that he decided to share this with only to see that he has put out over the course of an hour about 90 tweets for every single follower he had just posting this link to Save The Children USA.

BEN WATERWORTH: Imagine if Justin Bieber did that. He'd be there for a while. Just copying and pasting every single person who follows him. Well, I mean, look, you got tagged by an Olympian. So like take it. Why not?

COLIN HILDING: Two of them in one day. Exactly.

BEN WATERWORTH: You know, I haven't. So I'm jealous. All right. Or maybe it's just Canada and the Summer Olympics. Like this is the Winter Olympics. You know, 20 of Australia's team, the whole team would be able to retweet us.

COLIN HILDING: And sadly, this just in, Bat Horse tweeted Jared Lubick today. So, Ben, you're the only one not on the board here.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, gee. I think the females of the Olympics have got a restraining order against me. And now New Zealand. It's funny, actually, just quickly, really off-topic, joking about the Australian Winter Olympic team. Back in 2014 in Sochi, when we came home with three medals, but our aerial skier, David Morris, who was a complete shock, no one expected him to win a medal. He got silver in it. I mean, I actually found him on Facebook. Like, he's on Facebook, because that's just Australian Winter Olympians. Like, no one knows who they are. I had messaged him and got to interview him on my radio show at the time within only a couple of months. Like, try doing that right now with any Australian athlete. You wouldn't get to win the bar of them. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to do that with Canadian Winter Olympians. But hey, look, wear them with a shot of into winning the entire Canadian medal winners after these Summer Olympics. Yeah. We'll aim high. So, Aussie results, just going over this, other ones that weren't medals, because there are a lot more of these. So, go through these. In tennis, sadly, Sam Stozer does what she does best and lose. She lost to Angelique Kerber, and he's out. So, sadly for Australia, we're no longer represented in tennis, except for the mixed doubles, which they announced their teams. She'll hit the court once again with John Pears in those parts of the tennis, that part of the tennis when that starts. Boxing, we had a win. Daniel Lewis in the middleweight category beat Poland's Tomasz Jabłowski. Sailing, again, there were lots of things happening in that. So, I'm not going through all of that, but we'll win medals next week. Water polo, I want to talk about this later. I've watched the water polo. I loved it. Australia beat Russia 14-4. So, obviously, Russia's drugs hadn't arrived yet, so we'll take that.

COLIN HILDING: This is what happens when you go into the Olympics sober, Russia.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. In the soccer, football, great result. Matilda's 6-1 win over Zimbabwe through to the quarterfinals. So, great work. Actually, I won't spoil Canada's results, because I did that a lot, and I'm sure you want to say what happened to the Canadian team. And if you didn't know what happened to them, you're feverishly googling it right now. The men's competition started. It was a bad start for our team who lost to France. What is this? Losing to France, Australia? Come on! 31-14 before we knocked it up and beat Spain, 24-12, still in with a chance of the quarters. Archery, our bronze medallist in the individual categories. Taylor Wirth, he's into the round of 16. Sadly, Alec Potts lost. He's out, and Ryan Tyak shoots tomorrow, so he's still to go. Canoeing, sadly, Ian Borrows just missed out on the final of the slalom by 0.09 of a second, if you don't mind, sadly for him. Basketball, the Opels, well, we got one back over France, 89-71, still undefeated in women's basketball. Hockey, now this is an absolute joke. Like, when it comes to gold medal certainties, you would always put money on the Kookaburras, the men's hockey team, we're the best in the world. We've been the best in the world for like 15 years. And we literally have...

COLIN HILDING: As Kookaburras tend to be.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly. They laugh their way to success. But there is just something about the Australian men's hockey team when it comes to the Olympics that we choke. Like, we've only ever won the one gold medal in the history of it. Like, our women's team has won more than the men, even though the men are generally better at hockey than women. No disrespect to the hockey roos. But we lost to Spain yesterday, 1-0, and we lost to fucking Belgium, 1-0. Like, they're not even a powerhouse of the sport. Like, that's a middle of the road team. Like, this is ridiculous, Cook, but pick your game up. Like, God, chokers. Anyway, rowing. The Kim Brennan, one of our best gold medal chances. It was her birthday today. Happy birthday, Kim. She's through to the semifinals of the single skulls. Ryan Grant is also into the semis of the men's single skulls while our men's pair are also into the semifinals. Sadly, though, our men's and women's double skulls have been eliminated. The equestrian, as I mentioned, we won a bronze in the team. Sadly, Berto couldn't back up his bronze medal and finish fifth, I think, in the individual. And there was another guy there, too. I don't give a shit about him. I only care about Berto. And in the judo, Katerina Haker was eliminated in the 63 kilogram division. So that's the Aussies. There was some other results in swimming, which, as I said, we got a bronze and a few through to finals and stuff. But we'll be here all day if we went through that. So what happened to Canada, Colin?

COLIN HILDING: Well, we'll save the best for last. Let's start with the most surprising result after I guess you could consider them our beach volleyball A team and the men's. They went down last night. Big surprising result here. Saxton and Chalk, who are B team, actually upset Brazil. And they're moving forward. Brazil, I believe they said, was the fourth ranked team in the world. So volleyball, the men's side were definitely pulling off some upsets. And the Equestrian, something I still have not watched. In team jumping, Canada placed 10th overall. So we cracked the top 10, I guess. Field hockey, something else I have to be in the top 10.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly, like come on.

COLIN HILDING: It is sad that in the Summer Olympics, I have in the past, not so much anymore, but I have watched Summer Olympians who actually say they came in hoping for a top 12 finish. And that kind of sums up how we performed in the past.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's again, Australia in the Winter Olympics. We get like a fifth, and it's like blanket coverage on Channel 7 the next day, like, we got a fifth, yeah!

COLIN HILDING: Field hockey, something I have not had a chance to watch yet. Canada lost 7-0 to the Netherlands. That's a sad loss there. Is the Netherlands good in field hockey?

BEN WATERWORTH: They're probably like the Russia in ice hockey. They're pretty much one of the best countries in the world. Yes, absolutely.

COLIN HILDING: Okay, then no shame there. But at the same time, if volleyball players can upset, why can't our field hockey players? It does have hockey in the title. We should have higher standards for this, I guess. Shooting, Linda Kiko, I don't know what her name is. She didn't advance to the semifinals. She placed 40th in precision. Yeah, poor Linda. 40th place, like you're way behind our top 10 goal that we have for Canada in shooting. There is a big win here for soccer. I'm fairly nerve wracking watching this game earlier on. The women's soccer. We were losing 1-0 to Germany. We ended up winning 2-1. Both goals scored by the same player, Melissa Tancredi. And we're not quite there yet, but I'm going to assume this is going to be the breakout star of the men's swimming team, Santo Condorelli. I'll have a bit of a rant on him later on, I guess. But he qualified with the third fastest time in the 100-metre freestyle. So he'll be moving on. And breaststroke, we cacked. 200-metre butterfly, we cacked. Let's not even get into that. And tennis, poor Jeannie Bouchard and Gabriella Dabrowski, they are eliminated. But our men's doubles, Vasik Pospisil and your old friend Daniel Nestor, they are moving on to the semifinals, beating Italy.

BEN WATERWORTH: OK, well, good news there. That's good. Again, Canada doing better than Australia in tennis.

COLIN HILDING: Sadly, though, when it comes to rowing, you had twice as much to report on success as I do because our women's pairs are out. But Carling Zieman, who completely blew everybody away in her heats earlier on before the wave started, 30 seconds ahead of everybody, she is advancing to the semifinals, but she didn't advance as high, I guess, or didn't place as high as she was third in her quarterfinal, but still enough to get her through. And the big news of the day being the diving 10-metre synchronized platform, Megan Benfetto and Rosalind Fillian, the heroes of Canada, two Olympics in a row, bronze medal, the Canadian gold. Very tight event. I'll talk about it a little bit later on when we talk about the events we watched today.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, it's fascinating how much you talked about rowing before. Oh, Canada, we're so good at rowing. Like, we're the best. Well, it's doing well for you, so... Just some other results. I just actually want to go over the football and the tennis in just a second. I'm literally watching right now. Probably you are too. I don't know what Canada thinks of Michael Phelps, but I guess the big news outside of Canada and Australia, Michael Phelps has just won his lazy 20th gold medal. You know, why not? And just really quickly with him, I don't know if you saw it when he won the race and he did his whole little hand gestures.

COLIN HILDING: Number one.

BEN WATERWORTH: Number one. It was a bit cocky, but the one thing I will say for Michael Phelps, yesterday, they, for some reason, Channel 7 decided like, hey, let's interview Michael Phelps. It's like, of course. He's clearly Australian. So they've cut to the pool deck commentator. And I think they've cut a little bit too early, because they've cut to him, obviously, when he's standing there, like, waiting to get the cross, like, okay, you're live on air. So you've got him standing there, just like, have a half smile, waiting to get the thumbs up, you're on air. Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is standing in the background, incredibly impatient, and he's literally gesturing his hand in a circular motion, giving him the wind up, like going, come on, hurry up, I need to go.

COLIN HILDING: And this is the humble, completely reformed, nice guy, Phelps, who I was praising just, what, 48 hours ago.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, and then they've literally gone, blah, blah, blah, is there with Michael Phelps. And he's like, yes, I'm here with Michael Phelps, Michael. And all of a sudden Michael puts on a smile, and he's all like, oh, yes, I'm so pleased to be here in Rio, and I love Australia. And it's like, dude, we just saw you being so impatient, that you're like, no, I don't want to talk to you.

COLIN HILDING: I will say with Phelps, I guess the other thing that was big news today, I don't know if you caught it, was the hashtag Phelps face.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes.

COLIN HILDING: That was all over the internet today. It really does look hilarious. Like, I've always thought that there was a slight resemblance with Michael Phelps and a gorilla. He kind of has this gorilla expression a lot of the time, and that Phelps face, it looked like a very angry gorilla. He's got the long arms. It was played up so much right before this showdown with Laclau today that there's this big rivalry. And in the end, when Phelps was doing his big celebration, which really, if you think about it, I mean, yeah, it looked a little bit arrogant, but I think it's the first time he's ever smiled or celebrated at all every time 24 medals or whatever. But then he's sitting there and he's fist bumping Laclau, and Laclau completely fell apart in this race. Like, it was almost embarrassing watching him. I've never seen a swimmer actually multiple times in the last 50 metres turn over and stare at the competition as he just slipped further and further back. Like, the nerves just got to him. But these guys are fist bumping afterwards. But the whole Phelps face really was funny leading up to this.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm actually just worried watching the coverage right now. They've got a super slow-mo of Michael Phelps macking it on with a baby.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, they were just showing that on BBC about two minutes ago.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. All right. It's kind of interesting how this whole meme thing's taken off, because was it London we had Michaela Moroni with her, like, disappointed face that kind of took it by storm. We're talking about future wives. Michaela Moroni, well, she's not an Olympian anymore, but we'll go back four years. And she is legal. She's 21, before you say anything.

COLIN HILDING: So now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Now, but good. Anyway, so we live in the age of the meme. So that's good. Outside of Phelps, Greece won their first gold. I think that's maybe of note, because they're the home of the Olympics. You know, good on Greece. That came in the 25 metre pistol shooting for Anna Korokai. Good for her. And I'll go over some of those other results very shortly. But I just wanted to touch on the football really quickly. So the women's tournament, the knockout stages are getting there. So it looks as though, Canada, you're going to be playing France in the quarterfinals. The French. And you could be playing the Germans again in the semis. I don't get this. Looking at the knockout bracket right now, Australia are through to the quarters. So we will either play, well, we're going to play the winner of Group E or the US. So let's pray for the winner of Group E, who at the moment, if I look at it, is currently Brazil. Oh, fuck, we're screwed either way.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, you got Brazil or US?

BEN WATERWORTH: Come on, the Matildas, let's get out in the quarters again. The men's, well, they don't have sort of best of third. They've just got the top two going through, and the only team that's confirmed to go through right now is Nigeria. They're so far on top that they can't be caught. I'm a huge, huge, huge German soccer fan. They're like my team in the World Cup, reigning World Cup champions. It's great. They've got a team in the Men's Tournament which is a tournament for the first time in forever. And they're in a really tough group, South Korea, Mexico and Fiji. They've had two draws against South Korea and Mexico, the two teams that are hard to beat. But then they've got Fiji tomorrow, which they should hopefully win that, about 10-0 to get through at least. So interesting there. And the tennis, I mean, these are kind of the sports I wanted to touch on because I think we mentioned in the beginning, we'll no doubt talk about sports, should they be in the Olympics or not? And these are kind of two that often get brought up. I personally think football, at least the men's tournament shouldn't because I know it's the world game and it's the most popular sport in the world, and yes, I can see the argument for it, but the World Cup of soccer is bigger than the Olympics in terms of people who watch it and countries that compete. So if you've got a sporting event that's bigger than the Olympics, it shouldn't be in the Olympics. That's just my opinion. Tennis should be. I think tennis is a good case for it. Maybe you can tell me what you think of that. But the big names in the tennis, you go now, yes?

COLIN HILDING: I'll just touch on it now. I think the difference with tennis is that you either have to include it or you can't include it at all. If you look at when they made the switch with hockey back in 2002, the main reason was because prior to that, you only have junior players. So as soon as they hit 19, they're all going professional. And I think the issue with tennis is that as soon as you hit 15 or 16, you're going pro. So there's really no way to include the sport otherwise. And at least it's something that's competitive with countries from around the world. This isn't something where you're going to have a complete blowout from just two or three countries.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, good point. I don't know. With football as well, with men obviously, you're only allowed to have two or three people over the age of 23. So it's basically the under-23 tournament. I think women, it's still professionals, isn't it? There's no restrictions on the women's side of things. The big names in the tennis though, because a lot of people, obviously Djokovic is out in the men's side of things. Murray, your favourite, and Jared's favourite. He's still through. He beat the great Argentinian, won Monaco 6-3-6-1 today. And then did Rafa make it through? Yes, he did. He beat Andreas Seppi. They had a bit of that on TV today. And he'll play Gilles Simon, the Frenchman. So it's kind of a bit of a less star lined up in the men's tennis tournament now.

COLIN HILDING: Well, Djokovic going down for sure.

BEN WATERWORTH: You've only really got Nadal. I mean, someone's pretty big. Goffman from Belgium, sure. Okay, there's a few still in there. The women's side of things, though. Obviously, everyone's all on Serena. She's still in it. She plays Elena Svitlona of Ukraine. And if she wins, she's through to play Petra Kvitova. That'll be a good match. Just going through some of the other names. Still in it. Madison Keys is still in it for America. But yeah, a few big names have gone in that one, too. It's interesting tennis. I don't know. I'm a tennis fan anyway, so I always am intrigued to see who will go the other way. You mentioned your Canadian doubles. You've got Rafa up next. We mentioned this yesterday, didn't we? Nester and Posper will play Lopez and Nadal in the semis. So, hey, just think about this, Colin. If you win that match, you're guaranteed at least a silver medal, so you'll win a silver medal.

COLIN HILDING: And if we lose, we still get to play for one of our two positions, third or fourth.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. Yes, and the mixed doubles, as I mentioned before, that gets announced halfway through. It got announced, and you don't have a team in the mixed doubles, sadly, to say, Colin. Clearly, Canada doesn't give a shit. So, just the other medallists today, we had a few. And again, as I mentioned right now, we still have two at the time of recording this that actually need to be decided. But by the end of it, if they happen, we'll let you know. So, in the canoeing, I mentioned before, the slalom, the men's, Australia didn't make it through, but God, France won more than one gold medal today. What's going on here? I don't speak French. He's gold for France. Yeah, China won gold in the diving, the 10-metre platform. Shen Ruolin and Li Huizhu. Germany got some medals today. I'm happy for that. Michael Jung, gold in the individual eventing in the equestrian. Yeah, we know France took it in the team. Good for them. South Korea got a gold in the men's epay in the fencing. Park Sang-Yong took that one. Gymnastics. Now, I said to you off air that by the time I woke up and realised it was on, I'd missed it. I was so disappointed. I'm going to have to go through the highlights on the app. But America absolutely shattered in in the women's artistic team all around. Gold there to Simone Biles, the star of the game. She's been talked up so much. Gabby Douglas, Laurie Hernandez, Madison Cookian, and Ali Raisman. Russia cheated their way to silver, and China got their eight-year-olds to get bronze. So anyway, Judo, our favourite sport of the game so far. Russia took their... Wow, they've won a gold. I wonder how long it will take to get rid of that. 81 kilograms, Kasun Kalmazev. Yeah, that Russian guy. He got that one. And Slovenia, they've got their first gold of the games. Tina Tristanjak won the women's 63 kilograms. Shooting, as I mentioned, Greece took that one. Swimming, as of right now. Yeah, Phelps, 200 metre butterfly. The women's 200 metre freestyle. Katie Ledecky again. So kind of the king and queen of the pool there for America. Still waiting on the men's 4x2 and the women's 200 metre IM. Australia is in that 4x2 freestyle. We only just scraped through. Britain could knock off the Americans in that one, so there's a shock. And weightlifting, China took another two gold medals. Deng Wei won the women's 63 kilograms in a world record lift, too. Good on you, Deng. And the men's 69 kilograms, Shi Zhiyong took that one. North Korea, meanwhile, took a silver medal in that women's 63 kilograms. So Kou Housim will no doubt be murdered when she arrives back home for not bringing home the gold. The medal tally then. Did you have anything to add on that, Colin?

COLIN HILDING: Before you get to that, an update. The women's 200 metre individual medley. Housu, I just finished watching about 60 seconds ago. Housu won that.

BEN WATERWORTH: All right, OK. Good to see that our Australian courage isn't showing that. I knew that. I totally knew that. So the medal tally. Well, this is the first time we've been able to give you a medal tally that isn't actually complete. They're still waiting on one, but we'll probably give this a gold to Great Britain. So the top five. Sadly, sadly, Australia dropped to fourth. Oh, no, this is not good. But it's expected. USA on top, eight gold, eight silver, nine bronze, 25. China also with eight gold, but they've only won the three silver. See, you've got to win those silver. That's why we're behind Hungary right now, because we haven't won a silver. China second. Hungary, look at this, four gold, one silver, one bronze. They've won three less medals than us, but we are behind them because we have won less silver. So this is where right now, the four by 200 metres is about to start. Australia, win us a silver. Russia are in fifth. We're beating Russia, which really isn't that hard in these Olympics. And Canada, you're still sitting pretty in 29th place, which is still behind New Zealand, Colin.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, come on.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, the good news is...

COLIN HILDING: You're making Carly and Riley look good here.

BEN WATERWORTH: The good news, though, Colin, and the good news for the world is New Zealand didn't win a medal today. That's right.

COLIN HILDING: Even Canada winning, we still fall behind them not winning.

BEN WATERWORTH: Their Equestrian team lit them down, Brew. So, yeah, the rowing is on this weekend. I'm sure in New Zealand you might win a few more medals. So, yeah, 54 countries at the moment have won medals, just in case you wanted to know that. Well, 63, actually. What's going on here? Oh, because there's more bronze medallists, and I understand. I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, what did you watch today, Colin? We've talked a little bit about some of the stuff we watched, but what else did you watch today?

COLIN HILDING: Well, I left the house at 6 o'clock this morning, and the rowing was on probably from about... I actually chose to walk to work today, which takes me two hours, as opposed to driving, because I figured if I drive, I'm just going to sleep in, and I'll miss everything, and I'll be at work. I can't watch it. If I walk, I can watch it while I'm walking. So I was watching the rowing while I walked to work today and saw Carling Zieman move ahead in her quarterfinal. And on my lunch break, I tried to watch the canoe slalom, but Canadian app fail of the day for about 10 minutes. As the event was going on, it was fixed on one camera showing the entire course. And in a small blip in the corner of my phone, I could see the big screen that everybody else was watching showing the event going on. And just as the proper feed with commentators kicked in, I had to go back to work. But luckily that was on when I got home. I had been recording it throughout the afternoon. I came home, that was the first thing I watched. I said it before, it's not an event that I really follow because it doesn't really get a lot of coverage, but it just looks so much... You watch the Olympics and you like to see the competition. Sometimes you watch something and it just looks like fun. Even if I sucked at this royally, I would love to do it, and that's one of the events I would love to do. Following that, I tried all afternoon to avoid any possible spoilers on the diving so that I could watch it not live, but not have to watch the recaps.

BEN WATERWORTH: I love how you have to avoid spoilers, like in Game of Thrones. Don't tell me who dives!

COLIN HILDING: Well, you know, when the CBC app pushes updates to your phone every time you win a medal, and it's not even like there's a delay, it's like 30 seconds after Canada wins a medal, it comes up a flash across your phone, medal alert, Canada wins in. So I had to spend about 10 minutes this morning figuring out how to turn all notifications off on this thing. And I avoided anything on social media throughout the entire day on the way home. I did see one quick thing where it said Canada wins another medal, and I turned my eyes away, didn't want to spoil it, because I just had to watch, diving has quickly become like my favourite summer Olympic sport. I had to watch it, and that occupied probably an hour and a half of my evening, which really was everything up until the swimming started today. And I have to say, the Phelps and LeClo thing, there's a Canadian commentator fail, not quite as funny as yours, but we'll get to that later on. That was an exciting event. We should mention Michael Phelps ties the all-time individual medal record. A Russian gymnast from the 50s and 60s had 14 medals, and he's now got his 14th gold medal. But the real highlight for me was Ledecky and Sostrom. That to me felt like, I don't know if you watched the event, but it felt like back in Sydney when I was watching Thorpe. You know, it felt like the classic Thorpe and Phelps showdowns that there used to be.

BEN WATERWORTH: Thorpe and Hugenbandt back then.

COLIN HILDING: What's that?

BEN WATERWORTH: I don't even remember the Dutch swimmer Vanden Hugenbandt. There was a big rivalry between them in Sydney.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I just remember those days where you watched the races, and it would be like down to a fingertip is how close it was. And that's the way it was with Ledecky and Sostrom. And it's funny because the commentator got ahead of themselves, and they were saying that, you know, Ledecky halfway through, they're like, oh, there's no doubt she's going to beat her world record. And then she obviously slowed down at some point. But the commentators, again, a bit of a fail. When Sostrom lost and it was just by a nose, they sat there criticizing and said, and if you look in the slow motion, she took a breath in the last stretch. You don't need that oxygen in the last few metres. You need to win. It's like, well, you need the oxygen to live.

BEN WATERWORTH: How dare she breathe?

COLIN HILDING: That breath cost her the goal. But either way, that was probably the most exciting swimming event I've seen in years. So I love that. And just finished watching Hosu win again. So it's still going on right now. The relay is going on. That brings me up to now as the relay is 2 minutes and 21 seconds in.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, well, I'm about 10 seconds ahead of you. So I'm 2 minutes 33 in. But Australia, we went out like a bullet out of the gate the first turn. We were above the world record. And 150 metres into this, we were winning. And we've done what Australia does best and choked. And we're down to fourth at the moment, I think, by the looks of things. So I don't think we're expected. We may be chanced at a bronze. But we won this back in Sydney. We used to be the best in the world at this by a long shot. But when you have Thorpe and Hackett and Klim and those sort of people in your team, you're going to win. But now we've got people that I can only probably name. Mack Horton. I don't know the other three. That's the state of men swimming in this country right now. We don't even know half of who we've got in our team anymore.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I just saw US lose their world record pace. They're quickly slipping back from the world record pace there. So we could do kind of a live commentary here.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I don't know if we're allowed to, but stuff, we've got two New Zealanders listening to us. I don't think they're going to report us to the IOC. They don't even know what the IOC is. And, oh, we're in second now. Come on, Aussies, we need that silver. Let's do it. This is exciting. I'm more excited for a silver medal right now. I think we're in lane like... You're in the silver position.

COLIN HILDING: One tenth of a second up.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, Britain are the world champions in this one. They were the fastest qualifiers at this. And I think they look like they're slowly coming at it now. We're stuck out in lane six. And we've dropped to third now. Japan are back ahead of us. They're bastards.

COLIN HILDING: It's very clear nobody's beating the US right now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, well, of course. I could fly to Rio right now and swim for America and still win. They're that far ahead.

COLIN HILDING: You just put that offer out there if you actually want to test this.

BEN WATERWORTH: And just for those at home, Canada aren't in this, but Colin's loosely rooting for Belgium in lane one. So come on, the Belgians. The iconic swimming nation of Belgium. I think of great Belgian swimmers. I couldn't name you one. Anyway, what did I watch? Well, I'm watching the swimming right now, funnily enough. I think you just said that, Colin. It's fascinating with swimming. You know when they're on the blocks and they do the whole take your mark, is that like a guy doing that each time or is that like a pre-recorded take your mark? Because it sounds like the same guy every single swimming meet I ever watch. I don't know.

COLIN HILDING: I didn't realise today, I can't remember which event it was in where they had to call the swimmers back up because one person in the crowd yelled out. And then they couldn't start. Apparently you can't start it if there's any noise from the crowd. And one guy yelled something out and they all of a sudden had to stand up and wait a couple of seconds again for it to start. And the entire crowd booed the one guy that delayed the race by 10 seconds. I think you don't want to be the one guy in the crowd.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think it's because, yeah, because obviously swimming, you're only allowed to have one false start. It's not like I think in athletics, you're allowed to have at least two, aren't you? But yeah, I was, it was a Phelps one because everyone was going gaga over Phelpsy. Oh, that's right, yeah. So, yeah, still intrigued with this right now. We've fallen behind the Brits. This isn't good if Australia gets beaten by Britain in swimming. For fuck's sake, like, you know, we have, we talk about our rivalry with New Zealand. We obviously have a rivalry with Britain. I think it's a bit more respected, because, I mean, they're technically our parents. So, you know, we kind of have to be a certain bit nice to them, but we don't lose them in swimming.

COLIN HILDING: Technically, aren't they more like your wardens?

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, we are a prison island, according to the Chinese anyway. What else did I watch? Yeah, I watched about five minutes of the gymnastics. Equestrian, obviously, of course. The rugby, I'm enjoying the rugby. I wish all rugby was like the rugby sevens. But funnily enough, this isn't meant to sound sexist. If it comes across as sexist, it's a future apology. Colin's gone, oh no, Ben, shut up. But I've found the women's rugby more entertaining. And generally, I will find men's sport more entertaining. And I don't mean that to sound offensive. I'm just putting it out there, except for gymnastics. But I found the women's rugby a lot more entertaining than the men's rugby. I don't know what it is, Colin. I hope you noticed that as well.

COLIN HILDING: Well, yeah, we won in women, so I completely agree with you.

BEN WATERWORTH: Are you even in the men's rugby? I don't think you are.

COLIN HILDING: We don't like to lose. That's the only reason we're saying this right now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah. And we're about to see a gold medal here. Two, America and Britain are going to get silver. Japan get third. Australia got fourth. Yes.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, spoilers again. I'm like 10 seconds behind.

BEN WATERWORTH: Sorry. Sorry about that. I watched the hockey again. I used to play hockey. This is field hockey, Colin. And again, as I think I mentioned on the show, one of Australia's best hockey players, Eddie Ockenden. He's Tasmanian. I used to play against him. He wasn't on my team, but he was on one of our teams in my league who beat us every single game. They were like the best in the competition. So clearly my practice that I gave him to score lots of goals against me hasn't done any good because they've lost two in a row. And the water polo. Now, I've watched water polo before. We won a gold medal back in Sydney in the women's water polo, famously in sudden death. It was a golden goal. It was just one of the best goals we won in Sydney. I love water polo. It's such a fascinating sport to watch because you've just got to imagine what these athletes are doing. They've got to swim. They've got to tread water. I'm a shit swimmer. And I could not imagine having to get a ball, catch it, jump up and shoot it. Seriously, it's such an effort. And I don't know if you've ever seen those videos of underwater, what's happening in water polo when they're grabbing each other's crotches and pulling their swimsuits aside. It's quite a dirty sport underneath the water, if you ever see these clips of it.

COLIN HILDING: There's an X-rated version of the Olympics water polo out there somewhere. There's a porn director's cut that Ben's seen.

BEN WATERWORTH: Brazzers. I don't know if you've seen much of water polo or how big water polo is in Canada. I mean, it's huge in America. I don't know if it crosses the border, but I love water polo. It's fun to watch.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I like to watch it. We don't get a lot of coverage. It's kind of the filler sport here. When I saw it the other day, it was just because rowing was delayed. That's when we do get the coverage. But every time it happens, I'm always making sure to tune in. So I wish that we had more of it.

BEN WATERWORTH: I wish underwater hockey was an Olympic sport because people talk about synchronized swimming being a pretty poor spectator sport. Imagine underwater hockey. That's a TV sport if I could think of one right now.

COLIN HILDING: I feel like, you know, you said hockey and said it was field hockey. Canadians actually call that thawed hockey. That's what our name for it is. So, sling flan 2028. Get ready for Canada to dominate in thawed hockey.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. Every now and then when they get a heat wave, you know, that's what happens. We should mention, I mean, we've kind of just completely skimmed over the fact that USA won this gold medal because there's a certain man on TV right now who's just won his 21st gold medal, Michael Phelps. Like, just, I think we need to put out a public service announcement to the man, stop winning gold medals. Like, you know.

COLIN HILDING: Can we just mention what is more awkward, Michael Phelps necking a baby, Michael Phelps' Phelp face, or Michael Phelps with hickies all over his shoulder? Like, what is the most awkward thing about Michael Phelps in these Olympics?

BEN WATERWORTH: Colin, their cupping marks, bullshit. Clearly they're hickies from all the babies that he's getting it on with. Um, I just... Actually, this is actually quite funny. I'm not actually making this up. I don't know if this is going to get removed from Wikipedia. I've just gone to the Wikipedia page of the all-time medals table, right, to be like, oh, this is how many Michael Phelps has won. Somebody has legitimately added Michael Phelps to the all-time medal list on Wikipedia. It's got it sorted by gold medals. Ethiopia, 21 gold. Michael Phelps, we'll have an update on this. Michael Phelps, 20 gold. Argentina, 18 gold. And Austria, 18 gold. This is hilarious.

COLIN HILDING: The Democratic Republic of Phelps.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. This is where, like, his Bekistan need to just give him a shitload of money and be like, Michael, swim for us, please. I just think that's hilarious that somebody's actually added him to the medal tally. But yeah, in all seriousness, he's won as many gold medals as Ethiopia has in their history. So he's only now two behind Brazil. So Brazil better pick their game up in the Home Olympics.

COLIN HILDING: The host nation.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. Canada have won a total of 59 gold medals in the Summer Olympics, so he's nearly halfway to Canada's total.

COLIN HILDING: And according to Australian commentators, that's quite surprising that it's that low.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. Australia and their Canadian knowledge. Anyway, athlete of the day, I don't have as many as I usually do for this one, Colin, but yeah.

COLIN HILDING: I have one, and he's also going to come up later in another segment. And he is Canadian, I mentioned him. Maybe the future of the Canadian male swimming team, Santo Condorelli. I'm going to go on a bit of a rant here with him, and this has not much to do with his success in the pool today, which is considerable, and I think that he has a good shot at meddling. But Santo Condorelli is the most non-Canadian to ever compete for the Canadian team. He was born in Kita, Hiroshima, Hokkaido, Japan to his parents. Condorelli, as you can tell, is a heavily Italian name, and he was born in Japan. He basically is considered Canadian because his mother was born and raised in Canora, Ontario. Now, he spent the majority of his life living in the United States, competing in the United States. He swims for the University of Southern California. He attended the 2012 United States Olympic Trials for swimming. He was part of the 2014 United States Swimming National Championships. This is two years ago. And he received a bronze medal in the 2015 World Aquatics Championships and the 4x100 mixed freestyle relay. That was in Canada. So only two years ago, he was competing in the United States. Last year, he was competing in Canada. This is something that happens quite often. I mentioned Missy Franklin that she has dual citizenship, but she actually lived in Canada and had the choice. There are a lot of people who have dual citizenship, and they choose to compete for Canada because basically it's easier to make our Olympic swim team. So that's why Santo Condorelli is here. Congrats to him for actually having success, even though I don't know if he has ever set foot in this country. Based on his bio, I don't think it's ever happened. This is why I think you might be willing to go with him for Athlete of the Day. It's just come out recently that he was caught on camera giving the middle finger to the crowd right before all of his pre-seats.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, I didn't realise he was Canadian. I've seen that picture going around, but wow, okay. Let me say that again, air quotes, Canadian.

COLIN HILDING: Yes, that's right, quote unquote Canadian. The reason he does this, he gives the middle finger to his father in the crowd who will return the gesture back to him quote, this is a quote here, as a way to boost confidence and relieve stress.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow.

COLIN HILDING: So seconds before every swim he has, him and his father flip each other off so they could boost each other's confidence and relieve stress. And that is why he is the most successful quote unquote Canadian we have in the pool.

BEN WATERWORTH: Hi dad, fuck you. Oh, get success. That's interesting. Jesus. I found him.

COLIN HILDING: You mentioned like the degeneration ex crotch thrust the other day. Like that's what I want to see for the next level. In order for Sandro Condorelli to get the gold, him and his father have to just just suck it to each other before the gold medal.

BEN WATERWORTH: Can we just actually just on that? Seriously, we said, I think we were going to talk about this yesterday, but like while we're on the topic, this whole entrance of the swimmers coming out like from the side with the big screen behind them, and like we joke about the whole D-Generation X suck it, but I swear we're only a few years away from like fireworks and theme music and like leotards as they walk out onto the thing and you know, you can have a stone cold Steve Austin getting up on the corner belt bucket sculling a beer at the end of a race like Michael Phelps has won so many right now, he's going to get like the judge and like, come on, you know, like was it Earl Hagman or whatever the referee when he used to get him to like We're going to scull a beer with him after the match. This is what swimming is turning into.

COLIN HILDING: We are joking about this, but I wish I could go back and figure out which country he was from, but I do have it still, maybe I'll confirm this later on. But I'm not joking, there was one of the swimmers who came out today and did the John Cena, You Can't See Me, flash his fingers in front of his face when he walked out in front of the crowd. This is becoming pro wrestling.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, God, that's hilarious. Where are a few years away from Swimming Mania, 17?

COLIN HILDING: Are you ready to swim? The only thing bigger in Canada than hockey is pro wrestling. So that will be Canada's entry along with Thawed Hockey for Flintpool on 2028.

BEN WATERWORTH: We could have the swimming version of the Royal Rumble, just like 30 swimmers jump in, and whoever can fit in the pool and swim to the other end first wins.

COLIN HILDING: Flintpool is going to be really exciting. Like, come on, we need some hashtags for this. Hashtag Flintpool on 2028.

BEN WATERWORTH: We need to get the mayor on. I really don't doubt getting the mayor of Flintpool on for an interview would be that hard of a task. Could you imagine him opening his emails tomorrow, like, another big day of being mayor of Flintpool on. Oh, yeah. How many emails have we got today? Oh, none again. Oh, wait, I've got an email from Australia. Oh, what's an interview? Hey, Marge, what's an interview? What does that mean?

COLIN HILDING: Apparently there's a hashtag on the Twitter. Can you show me the Twitter?

BEN WATERWORTH: We need to put all these campaign notes about becoming our own province again to the side. We've got to get some serious shit going on here. Okay, then we're going to make that our task by the end of this to get an interview with the mayor of Wimflon. Yes. How far would it take you to drive? How long does it take you to drive there, Colin?

COLIN HILDING: I've never had any reason to go there, but let me just do a quick Google map.

BEN WATERWORTH: No reason. To go to Wimflon. Shame on you, Colin Hilding.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, I love this. When I Google Wimflon, Manitoba, and it comes up on the map, the next biggest thing next to it says Walmart, Wimflon store, and it's not even in Wimflon. It doesn't look like it.

BEN WATERWORTH: I was going to say, at least we know they've got a Walmart.

COLIN HILDING: It would take me eight hours nonstop to drive to Walmart.

BEN WATERWORTH: Gee, they really spread out the Walmarts in Canada. Okay, then. There you go. All right. We're getting the mirror on. We'll see how it works. Where are we? What are we doing? Athlete of the Day. I don't really have many. I mean, I'm just going to put the generic Michael Phelps, Katie Ledecky, because they're so good. But I want to give special notes to Birdo again, just because he choked, but just because I like saying his name. And special note again to our friend from yesterday, our legendary shooter, Dane Sampson. Sampso, he just needs to be mentioned every day, I feel, just because he's an Australian icon. He really is.

COLIN HILDING: I do realise when we sent that message yesterday, and I don't think it occurred to either of us at the time, adding O on to everything, basically we sound like Jar Jar Binks sending a message. We still love you so, Sampso.

BEN WATERWORTH: Too bad if we get a reply like in a week later. Oh my god, are you a Jar Jar Binks fan too? That's why you only finished 37th in shooting, Dave.

COLIN HILDING: I just want to add one more thing here to Flynn Flawn 2028 before we move on. Wikipedia's page, the economy of Flynn Flawn, the top five largest employers in Flynn Flawn, the Hudson Bay Mining and Smelting Company has 1,400 employees. Second biggest is Flynn Flawn School Division with 137. Third biggest is the Victoria Inn with 57, and number four on Flynn Flawn's largest employers is Walmart with 32 employees.

BEN WATERWORTH: 32?

COLIN HILDING: That is two employees more than Canadian Tire Automotive Supplies.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, jeez. What a business they are too. If you need your tires checked, go to Canadian Tire Automotive Supplies.

COLIN HILDING: Look, if we can't get the mayor of Flynn Flawn on by the end of the show, I promise you, we will have an interview with the manager of Flynn Flawn Walmart.

BEN WATERWORTH: Seriously, if we can't get an interview with somebody from Flynn Flawn in general, there is... Like, if there's anybody in Manitoba right now listening, and it's closer than eight hours to get to this town, just walk to anybody on the street and literally be like, interview, and they'll be like, oh, hey, what's that mean, hey? Yeah. Oh, my God, anyway, yes, all right, we're up to my wife, apparently. This is such a shit segment, I love it at the same time. I haven't really got, well, I didn't have anyone. I actually had some bad news to report for myself. This is really bad news only for me. Happened to find my supposed future wife of Britt Elmsley on Instagram, which was nice, and was having a look, and she's got some great photos up there, good for her. But sadly, she's taken, Colin, I didn't, of course she would be, but I'm kind of sad she didn't tell me this, so I don't know. Look, we can always start a campaign to win her away from her boyfriend. But looking at her boyfriend, I think I have more of a chance of winning a gold medal at the Olympics.

COLIN HILDING: Can we just go with another hashtag here along with FlynnFlawn2028? And can we just get hashtag dump that bum Brit? Done. Again, not realising context till 24 hours later, let's get the jump on this and realise we might want to rephrase that because it could be taken more than one way.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. Yes, exactly. Dump him Brit. Yeah, that's the best I can come up with. I'm in the process of writing her a love song that we're going to air on this show, but I don't know anymore, Colin. Like I might be wasting my time. Are they going to show him macking on with a baby again just while I'm watching this footage? Stop kissing the baby, Michael Phelps.

COLIN HILDING: I don't even know who Brit's boyfriend is, but I'm sorry to say I think you've already lost this battle.

BEN WATERWORTH: You found him?

COLIN HILDING: Well, you've lost the battle.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think even I would date her boyfriend. I mean, he's that good looking, so I think I'm screwed. But on the good news front, Anna Derrick, who turns 18 in a month, I don't know if she has a boyfriend, but I might have found another Australian swimmer, so all those people out there who are hoping for my happiness and that I might fall in love during these games and the podcast, who knows? Our latest swimmer to make the final of the women's 200-metre butterfly, that of course is the legendary Brianna Throssel. So Google her right now, Brianna Throssel. And I don't know, I haven't Instagram stalked her yet. So perhaps there's a bit of a chance there, Colin. I don't know. Actually, just quickly, I'm pretty honestly, I added her on Snapchat because it says it on her Instagram page, but I haven't gotten a snap from her yet. So anyway, sorry.

COLIN HILDING: Brianna Throssell, I'm happy to report, is officially in her 20s. So we've jumped up a good solid three years from Your Last Future Wife.

BEN WATERWORTH: Colin is so concerned of how this is going to turn out, because he's literally like, oh shit, I better Google his age, her age.

COLIN HILDING: While we still have a chance to edit these episodes, let's confirm it before you say something you're going to regret.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, that baby that Michael Phelps kissed. Anyway, now we're stepping over a line. I will say we're talking about Sarah Stru- I can never say her name, the Swedish swimmer. Sarah Solström.

COLIN HILDING: I heard them pronounce you Choo-strom on one today, so it could be either.

BEN WATERWORTH: She's, yeah, like, you know, she's- I would take her out to watch a game of Thor'd Hockey. I would take her to Flimflom for a romantic weekend. You know, this is only a two week podcast.

COLIN HILDING: This is only a two week podcast, so we're being extra cautious, because once we hit the three week mark on any of our other ones, that's when the hate mail starts. So we're gonna end this before it gets really bad.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I just- every time that we have this, like, segment, it's kind of like, Ben's wife, like, it's almost like Ben's creepy perv segment. Like, we're trying to be nice and say, oh, marriage isn't that sort of traditional, and like, you know what I'm doing, I just think they're hot, like. Um, but I'm single now, so this is, like, appropriate. I can, like, search for a wife. It's natural, Colin, you're married. Like, if you weren't married, you'd want someone to take the flimflon with. Like, come on. I'm sure there's a flimflon.

COLIN HILDING: That's all I... That's all it came down to before me and my wife got married. I didn't ask, will you marry me? I was like, will you go to flimflon with me? That's how we propose here in Manitoba.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm going to change my Tinder profile to have the phrase, just looking for a girl to go to flimflon with. And see if, like, anybody swipes right, because no one does at the moment, so we'll see how that changes. Channel 7, shit, shit, shit. This is our segment. I don't really have a whole lot on this today, actually, so I'll just quickly go first, because I think you've got one to go with, Colin. The only thing really I've got, the equestrian, our dear friend Vicky, who is amazing. Just watching her comment, well, actually listening to her commentate the show jumping is something else, because, like, generally commentators have to kind of be unbiased and calm and all this sort of stuff. Every time an Australian writer birdos on the course or anybody like that, a horse is about to jump over the jump, she literally is like, like, every single one. It's like, Vicky, shut up! You're making this tense! But, and one thing actually, I was going to mention in the What I Watch segment, just with the equestrian, you said you didn't watch any of it, but the show jumping is always one of my favourites, because, like, each Olympics, they have to, like, put jumps up, but, like, theme it to the city that they're in. So, like, I remember in Sydney, obviously, they had, like, a boomerang jump, and, like, they had a few other ones. This one in Brazil, they had ones with, like, samba drums on either side of the jumps, like, little colorful things, so I thought that was kind of funny. There was no Giselle jump, sadly, so... And Pelé was meant to be a jump, but he had to pull out because he was sick. Yes. But the ones here... I'm still getting sick of Channel 7's ads. I don't care about Jumbo's or whatever the fuck he's called. It's just dessert. The big music quiz, I don't care. Like, it's a show. They're advertising a show here, Colin, which is essentially celebrities listening to music trying to guess who sings it. Look forward to...

COLIN HILDING: Did I guess the lyrics?

BEN WATERWORTH: No, it's not even forget the lyrics. It's just literally they're standing at a table and they'll get like a clip of a bird from YouTube singing Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear, and then you got somebody hitting a buzzer going, The Carpenters! Like that's television in Australia. So look forward to Big Music Quiz Oz coming soon to the Oz Network. Probably the only one that I've written down here, and it's only because it sort of happened fairly recently, and I thought it was decent, Basil Zempelis, our swimming commentator, once again in preparation for the... Was it the 200 Butterfly that Phelps won? He says, If you're not at work, don't go. If you are, say you're looking at an important spreadsheet. It's like he was saying. The event was so popular. Like, what boss is walking up? Jenkins, what are you doing? Oh, just looking at a very important spreadsheet, sir. Make sure you look at that very thoroughly, Jenkins, and just like walk soft. Why, Basil, look at the spreadsheet. Oh, I'm just looking at porn, boss.

COLIN HILDING: I was going to say, sadly, that's the same advice people give when you're trying to hide looking at porn at work.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, God. Anyway, so I'm intrigued that Canadian commentary failed because I think this is going to be better.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I don't know. Again, it's just more awkward. It's kind of like the whole, you know, there was a vicious stare down from a couple of days ago. There was, I guess, a third swimmer in the Phelps LeClo showdown from tonight, Thomas Kenderesi from Hungary. And they were just talking about the fact that, you know, all the attention goes to Phelps and LeClo, and that every single time this Kenderesi, who's one of the best in the world, is up against them, he tends to lose. And then they just left the scene and said, and they joke, and Phelps and LeClo will joke, probably not to him. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. And the way, I don't know why they deliver it that way. They're saying it so seriously, and they joke, but they're so polite. Probably not to him. Why do you feel they need to add that? Would it be so bad? They joke to him, always the bridesmaid, never the bride. They want to remind the audience that Phelps and LeClo are not cruel enough to joke to this man, Kenderesi, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

BEN WATERWORTH: Forget about the old Sun Yen, the whole rivalry there with the splashing. Like this is the do not joke to the Hungarians.

COLIN HILDING: They joke, but not to him.

BEN WATERWORTH: He's Hungarian, he won't laugh.

COLIN HILDING: They don't have a sense of humour.

BEN WATERWORTH: If we know anything about Hungary, it's they have no stand-up comedians.

COLIN HILDING: And if they do laugh, it won't be about cross-dressing.

BEN WATERWORTH: Their sitcoms have no laugh tracks. They have serious faces in the corner. The Hungarian version of Friends. Could I be any more of a Chandler? Mm-hmm, not funny. It's like a national law in Hungary. Do not laugh, it's not funny. We are Hungarian, we are strong. Okay, so ticking that off the list, offend country, Hungary, okay, got it.

COLIN HILDING: You've offended genders, countries.

BEN WATERWORTH: Babies. Oh, this is why only New Zealanders listen to us. Oh, Brew, we're allowed to laugh in New Zealand. If only there was something funny to laugh about in this podcast.

COLIN HILDING: And you could joke to them, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

BEN WATERWORTH: I wish we were included in a joke by Michael Phelps. Michael Phelps has never heard of us. Imagine the New Zealand poldeck commentary, oh Michael, Michael, can we have an interview, please? Who are you? Fuck off. Oh my goodness. Actually, I just have a really random question, because obviously you get ads in your card. I mean, I'm guessing you get ads in Canada. Why not? Oh, what's an addy?

COLIN HILDING: There you go, offending the Canadians now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Canada loves me, I'm allowed to offend them. I'm basically half Canadian. McDonald's is obviously the worldwide sponsor of the Olympic Games. I mean, we have ads for McDonald's. Our version of ads this year are the whole like... You'll either have somebody flipping a burger, advertising the new chicken and pineapple burger, or the Angus and egg burger. They're the two new ones that they're promoting in Australia. But you'll have some McDonald's employee flipping a burger, and the narrator is like, This is Jane. She's not an Olympian, but she's still an Aussie legend. And it's like, you know, at the end of the thing, it's all like, McDonald's serving Olympic legends. No, sorry. Let me rephrase that. This joke. This is why no one laughs at us. Like, Hungary would love our podcast. Um... I could have edited that bit out, but I leave it in, because I somehow think it's funny. Let's try that again. Where am I going with this? Oh, that's right. Angus burgers. Something like that. McDonald's serving Aussie legends. Olympians or not. That's where I was meant to go. I'd love to know, like, do Canada have, like, an Olympic McDonald's ad?

COLIN HILDING: Um, I know that they're offering merchandise, like, you can, if you buy a meal or whatever, you can get, like, a collection of pins. But I haven't seen any ads on TV for it. The major one here is Petro Canada, which, any fans of the Amazing Race Oz hosted by sometimes Colin Hilding, knows the Amazing Race Canada had a huge product placement from Petro Canada, Canada's gas station. And Petro Canada is apparently, like, the Olympics, or the sponsor of Olympians of Tomorrow, and they actually have a very clever series of commercials, which is exactly like the type of hero commercials you get for the athletes in the Olympics. It's basically like these, these people saying, this is my sport, you know, I'm the greatest, and then it ends up, I will not be in Rio. It's like, but I will be an Olympian in the next Olympics. And it's basically these people that they're sponsoring the training of in hopes that they'll be in the next Olympics. So it's a clever series of commercials.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm just waiting for the follow up in Tokyo. I'm still not in Tokyo. The sponsorship money ran out. Fuck you, Petro.

COLIN HILDING: This never would have happened with McDonald's money.

BEN WATERWORTH: I love the fact that you guys have merchandise because we generally do have that too. They have like our big thing here is like glasses that you can like get a frosted glass for a dollar with like a pictogram of swimming. And they do it for like the World Cup here too. I could easily collect them. That was kind of cool. But they don't have anything here.

COLIN HILDING: I broke my Vancouver one.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's such a shame. Bastards. We ended up, I think I've got about like 20, Louise and I ended up with about 20 of the World Cup ones. Because we went there on the last day and they were like, Oh, we're getting rid of these. Do you want a bunch more? Like, okay, because they're nice glasses. So yeah, McDonald's Australia. Like, pick your game up. What are we up to now? Oh, the Canadian athlete profile. I think you tease that we had a decent one today, I think.

COLIN HILDING: You know, the only thing he didn't do was flip anybody off in his bio or anything like that. But there's a bit of a different context. Now we know more about Mr. Santo Condorelli. Hello, my name is Santo Condorelli and I'm Canadian. So I really want people to Google these if you're listening. Santo Condorelli, who is not Canadian. That's right, hello, I'm Santo Condorelli and I am, let's cross it out, but not Canadian, please. The picture he drew of himself, I am really trying to figure this out. His torso and his, I guess, genitalia region are both upside down triangles. He has what looks like black tumors on his arms, which might be biceps.

BEN WATERWORTH: He needs to go to the doctor and find out, excuse me, doctor, are these biceps or tumors?

COLIN HILDING: It might be a hot dog attaching his head to his body. And I think he drew a space helmet over top of his head as he has his swimming goggles on. That is a picture of Santo Condorelli, the self-portrait. Tumors or biceps? Google it and let us know. The best candy in the world is Charleston Chew. I hear Charleston is a city in America that he spent more time in than Canada. My favourite sandwich is BLT with extra bacon. He threw that in to convince people he's Canadian. This is really sad. I'm a huge movie buff, and this is the saddest answer I've ever heard. Shame on you, Santo Condorelli. My favourite sports movie is, he originally wrote Rudy and then crossed it out. And replaced it with radio. Have you ever seen radio?

BEN WATERWORTH: I think I've ever heard of radio. I was on the radio, and I've got one in my bedroom, but there's a movie on radio.

COLIN HILDING: There is a movie. It's a movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. And this will make more sense now. Ben and I were talking about something off air, something that I thought in the wrong context would be considered inappropriate. But just so people are aware, we're not saying something inappropriate here. This is quoting the movie Tropic Thunder and Robert Downey Jr. Radio is a movie that Cuba Gooding Jr. True story where he played a mentally challenged football player. And the issue with this movie, and this must have been where the line came from when Robert Downey Jr. quoted in Tropic Thunder, is that Cuba Gooding Jr. went full retard. And as anybody who's seen Tropic Thunder knows, you never go full retard. Quoting a movie, not giving an opinion here, it is an embarrassingly bad football movie. And the fact that he crossed off Rudy, one of the greatest movies of all time, and replaced it with Radio with Cuba Gooding Jr. Just disgusting.

BEN WATERWORTH: Can I just quickly point out, I'm glad that Noah from Survivor isn't listening, because as soon as you say Cuba Gooding Jr. it's like it's not Snow Dogs, is. Anything Cuba Gooding Jr. touches turns to Snow Dogs.

COLIN HILDING: Can you imagine if Santo Condorelli had somehow found a way to make Snow Dogs his favourite sports movie?

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, it's got dogs in it, and in Canada they have dog racing, don't they?

COLIN HILDING: That is the third new sport that will be introduced in Flinvon 2028.

BEN WATERWORTH: Snow Dog racing. No, actually, the sport is, how long can you survive watching Snow Dogs before you have to turn it off? Oh, he's a world record. He's about to make it past the fifth minute mark.

COLIN HILDING: He hit the beginning of the second act. Gold medal. Santo Condorelli.

BEN WATERWORTH: Who's competing this year for baton?

COLIN HILDING: If I could have lunch with any one person, it would be Ron Burgundy. Cool answer. Don't think he's a real person, Santo.

BEN WATERWORTH: Stay classy, Santo.

COLIN HILDING: Draw a picture of a Canadian animal. He drew a pretty good picture of what I think is a goose here, but it only has one leg.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's a very sick goose. Maybe they're biceps or maybe they're tumors.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, this goose is competing in the Paralympics next month.

BEN WATERWORTH: Blade goose. Something with bat balls.

COLIN HILDING: Santo Condorelli, thank you for this episode. We love you. Tweet him. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be you. We will tweet him. Yeah, let's see if we can get Santo Condorelli to follow us.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's a nice picture of blade goose, Santo. I, too, do love radio.

COLIN HILDING: If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Fiji.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's who he's competing for in Tokyo.

COLIN HILDING: As a kid, my favourite sports team was, never followed sports, was always playing them.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's a piss poor... The only reason he says that is because he changes countries and teams so much that he does the same when he's watching it.

COLIN HILDING: That's right. He's following Japanese sports, and then he's following Italian, and then American, and now he's following it because he has to in Canada. I want somebody to answer this question for us. Anywhere from 60 to 1,000 people that have downloaded various episodes of Off The Podium, please answer this question. SantaCardarelli says, my favourite workout is anything that involves 12.5 to 25s. What are 12.5 to 25s? 12.5 to 25 pounds is what SantaCardarelli mentions.

BEN WATERWORTH: Inches? Maybe that's his grinder profile.

COLIN HILDING: He's like the laziest swimmer ever. He's no longer doing a 200, a 400, an 800 or anything. He's doing a 12.5 foot race.

BEN WATERWORTH: Can't be bothered.

COLIN HILDING: For a guy who drew the most amazing one-legged goose I've ever seen, his coolest Olympic medal picture, it kind of looks like a fish and some storm clouds above the water. I don't know why that's on the medal. We really need answers. This guy is very confusing. If I could choose any Olympic host city, it would be Rome. When I was little, I always thought Santa was real. I think everybody did.

BEN WATERWORTH: You're unique, Santa. You're unique. Nobody thought he was real except for you.

COLIN HILDING: That's right. Everybody knows Santa's real and bunny hugs are what hoodies are called in Saskatchewan. If I could have any superpower, it would be to fly. That's not going to help him in the pool. Sorry. He should aim to be Aquaman, not Superman. And write this sentence in cursive, the worst question I ask anybody. Live your passion. He correctly wrote it in cursive. Thank you, Santo Condorelli.

BEN WATERWORTH: You got one thing right, then. Thank you, Santo. All right. I'm learning so much about Canadian athletes. Like, I'm so prepared. I'm loving it. All right. Aussie fan messages. Again, he's one for Jared, actually. This one's from Alana in Queensland. It's to the entire Rhythmic Gymnastics team, which, if you listened to our earlier episodes, our third host, Jared, says it's not a real sport. This is legitimately the message. Now, let's not forget that Rhythmic Gymnastics doesn't start until like the third last day of the Olympics. It doesn't start till next Friday. So we've got ages for this till it even begins. But Alana from Queensland says, good job. Clearly, Alana is a huge Olympics nut and has been watching it nonstop.

COLIN HILDING: Or she's really behind, and she's currently on the third last day of the London Olympics right now. She's been binging since Athens 1896, and she's finally up to London.

BEN WATERWORTH: She's got the box set. I'm up to day 14 of London. It's been a long four year. I'm catching up. He's one here from Emily Saunders in New South Wales. To Sammy Stoser, the perennial loser. I shouldn't say that. She won a US Open. That's more than Eugene Bouchard and Milos Ranich have ever won. Dear Sam, you are an inspiration. I saw the match this morning, and thought you fought very well in the second set. Obviously not the first. You have the strength inside, and you clearly have the physical strength. I believe in you, and I'm looking forward to seeing you play wherever your next competition takes you. You have done yourself and us proud. Good luck. Oh, isn't that inspirational? She lost. Okay, Emily. Like, she's out. She's not doing well.

COLIN HILDING: There is a time delay on these messages as we found.

BEN WATERWORTH: Dawn from South Australia to Isabel Bishop. I'm guessing she's a water polo player. Fabulous win against Russia. Congratulations. It's really not that special to beat Russia in these Olympics. Like, get through there. Natalie Springile from Queensland to Leah Neal. Good luck, Leah. Do Ipswich proud. Now, Ipswich is a small town in buttfuck Queensland that no one probably cares about. It's not that hard to do Ipswich proud. Just offending Queenslanders now.

COLIN HILDING: I thought that was like the other move of Judo, along with what was that other thing we had? The hoopscootch.

BEN WATERWORTH: The hoopscootch. The hoopscootch. The hoopscootch. Here's one, actually, I want to give a shout out to one of my friends here, because this is kind of an in-joke, which was sort of funny. This one's from John to Patty Mills, our basketballer. Hi Patty, I've been watching you play brilliantly. I hope you get into the finals and win a medal. Okay, that's a boring one, but my friend Brie was over at my house yesterday, and we kind of at the moment are addicted to eating very bad food. We went to KFC, because at the moment in Australia, they've got a great special, 24 nuggets for $10, and that's fucking awesome, all right? So go and get it at KFC. So we're watching the Olympics, and she's on her phone, just not really paying attention, and Patty Mills comes on the screen. I'm like, oh, Patty Mills. And she turns to me straight away and goes, oh, what a happy meal. And I'm like, no, Patty Mills. So she's got it on the brain. One more. These aren't really exciting today. Taylor Wally, she's not a Wally from New South Wales. This is to, she just, this says, to football. I'm guessing this is to the Matildas, not the entire sport of football. Although, was that one yesterday of beating the entire Canadian Olympic team? So, perhaps. I think you are the best team in the world. I really want to play with you one day. If I train really hard, I might make it into the Matildas. I'm only eight and I play for the Wai Yong E-news. I'm so happy that you won the game this morning. I really hope you get a medal. Love from Taylor, Triple X. Well, there you go. I think they're meant to be kisses, but either or, she's a very horny 8-year-old. I don't know, but she's going to play with the Matildas one day. Either that, or she's wishing the entire sport of football that they win medals. I have...

COLIN HILDING: you are done, right?

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, absolutely, yes.

COLIN HILDING: Okay, I have the message that we need to send out today. We need to send it to the Rithvik Gymnastics team, and all the message has to say is, I don't care what Jared Lubick says, it is a real sport.

BEN WATERWORTH: Done, all right, hang on a minute. Find an athlete. How do I send it to the entire sport? I'd like to know, because like, you got to click find.

COLIN HILDING: Well, they send it to all the football.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. Gymnastics, Rithvik. We've only got one Rithvik gymnast anyway.

COLIN HILDING: Just go for her.

BEN WATERWORTH: Danielle Prince. What's she look like? Oh, she's okay. She...

COLIN HILDING: That was polite. As you're about to send your fan message. Oh, what does she look...

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, she's okay. Her profile. Sounds nice to her. Her profile. Danielle Prince will twist and twirl in Barra after being selected to make her debut at the Rio 2016 Olympics. She won a gold in the team's event in Delhi 2010 Commonwealth Games, but was beaten for selection for London 2012 by fellow Australian Janine Murray, the bitch. All right, hang on.

COLIN HILDING: I just want to say, you Google it, it is Danielle Prince, right?

BEN WATERWORTH: Danielle Prince.

COLIN HILDING: She's more than okay. It's just unfortunate that the very first picture that comes up, she looks like the female version of the Joker or something.

BEN WATERWORTH: I need to scout her properly shortly. Maybe she's future wife material. Hang on. We'll get this ready, Taz, click on the button. Oh, he's so sad that he's not in these episodes. I don't care what Jared LePic says. This is best podcasting, seriously. Yeah. This is why, actually, I'm looking at it right now. This is why we are ranked 155 on the sports chart on iTunes right now. We are just behind Open Red, World of Outlaws. I don't even know what sport that covers. I don't care what Jared LePic says. Rhythmic gymnastics is a real sport. What are the chances the AOC publishes that on the fan page on their Twitter app? All right, hang on. What's the name? Daddy Ol Price. I'm just going to scout this. This is great podcasting. We're at the end of the episode anyway. Someone's listening at this point. Actually, another friend of mine, Violet, I made her listen to it. I'm like, oh, listen to it. She hates sport. She hates the Olympics. And she's listening to it. She messages me, oh, I've got 10 minutes in. Can I stop listening yet? That's the motto of this show.

COLIN HILDING: We should just start telling people, skip to the last 30 minutes because that's where all the fun's to be had.

BEN WATERWORTH: Actually, I'll take that back. She's more than all right. If only she was in a real sport. Can you imagine that?

COLIN HILDING: Once you get past the Joker picture, isn't that quite nice?

BEN WATERWORTH: Imagine that, bringing home to my parents. Oh, mum, dad, I've met, oh, who is it, Ben? She's an Olympian. Oh, what sport? Swimming? You know, cycling? Oh, rhythmic gymnastics. No, she's not allowed. Don't bring her home.

COLIN HILDING: That's not a real sport.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's not a sport. We don't have any ribbons in the house. Lock up your ribbons. Okay, we're done. Oh, preview, day five, yes. So, we've still got the Olympics are on. Did you know that? Hungry, don't they? They're not laughing right now. So, it's actually a big day. 20 gold medals to be decided. So, this is the most so far.