Rio 2016 Day 14 Review

Today is all about the new queen of the world, and the athlete we crowned as a future star on day 1 of this podcast CHLOE ESPOSITO as we celebrate Modern Pentathlon becoming Australia's new national sport.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.

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BEN WATERWORTH: Good evening, afternoon, and good night from Off The Podium, an Olympics podcast as we bring you our 16th episode on the 14th day of Rio de Janeiro 2016, the Summer Olympics, and we are getting so close to the end and so sad. But we're at least here to be able to cover a very action-packed, exciting day. What a day for sport, what a day for the Olympics, what a day for Australia in general, because, look, we like to take credit for a lot of things on this show, because that's what we generally do in the Oz Network. We say something, it happens, and we take credit for it. Well, all we've done this podcast is take credit for the sport of modern pentathlon, and out of nowhere, out of nowhere, Australia is the greatest nation in the world when it comes to modern pentathlon, because of us. We're taking credit for it. Chloe Esposito, you are welcome. We'll get to that. And because we've got an Australian on the line who's excited for modern pentathlon, as I am, as the entire nation is right now. Jarrod Loobeek, what a day for sport, what a day for Australia, what a day for the world.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, really, it should have been a national holiday. I'm hoping they'll call on for Monday. I mean, this sport is just going to take off in Australia. The most unexpected gold medal of the Olympic Games for Australia, and just, I think, my favourite. And I mean, I'd put Chloe Esposito, I mean, I'd put her up for the flag bearer for the closing ceremony, because I mean, what an amazing win.

BEN WATERWORTH: Not a question, not even a debate, Jarrod. I think that it should be locked and loaded. The AOC right now should have her holding the flag as we speak, teaching how to wave it. Yes, absolutely. We're going to talk about this a lot today. But also on the line, he's here celebrating the fact that they won a few bronzes, including in the sport of equestrian. What a day to win a medal in equestrian. It's Colin Hilding. Colin, welcome back to Off The Podium.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, Eric Lamauzen, fine lady number five, back on the podium for the first time since Beijing. And I don't know, this is so hard to keep track. I mean, this is a two bronze day for Canada, or three bronze day, or four bronze day, or three bronze day, depending on what time you are following the results. So I'm pretty sure by the time this episode ends, we will have regained a bronze in the 50k race walk and probably lost it again just by the time this episode's over.

BEN WATERWORTH: We should mention that we actually put up on our Facebook that we weren't planning on doing an episode today, but we thought, no, stuff it. This is modern pentathlon history. We have to talk about it. We are recording this basically on day 15. I think the triathlon's on right now, so hopefully by the end of it, we can say that Australia and Canada have both choked again and not won a medal in an event that we're being talked up in. There's a lot of that today in terms of results, but yeah, I'm seeing here. So Canada, three bronze or maybe four, because I thought they'd won four, but you've just told me coming on air that the one that they won that was then given back to Japan, two of your bronzes basically were awarded by protest. You've only kept one of them, but you might get it back. How does that work?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, it's so confusing. I mean, I just finished watching, like right as we were, I was delaying recording this because they had an interview with Evan Dunfee, the guy from the 50K Race Walk, where I guess he officially said, you know, that they were advising him that he could appeal again and that he could probably get the bronze back, and he chose to forego that. He said, you know what, I'm happy with the race I ran, and ultimately, I don't think that cost me a bronze. I don't think I was in it to take it. I think he was 14 seconds behind in one bump. He doesn't think it cost him. So as far as he's concerned, he's dropping it now. We'll probably settle for a fourth position. But fourth in 50K Race Walk, I think, is still the best results we've ever had. So go power walking.

BEN WATERWORTH: Pretty Canadian.

COLIN HILDING: It could be the new sport of Canada.

BEN WATERWORTH: Pretty Canadian that he's in, isn't it? Just taking the unpossession. Oh, Norway, it's fine. Force is good.

COLIN HILDING: It's alright.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's fine. But let's just quickly say that you got a bronze in the 4x100m relay, the men's, after America were disqualified because they didn't change the baton properly. Fair enough. But you actually got your two bronzes, which as far as I know, these aren't being protested. As you said, Eric Lamar is in the equation, the individual jumping. Australia was robbed. Jarrod, I don't even know where we came in that. And football, soccer, you beat Brazil to get the bronze. So, you know, you've got two at least there that were won by not having somebody else disqualified or half disqualified or whatever you want to count that one.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, we have two uncontested medals here. They're both Canadian gold. So we're cleaning up in the bronze. I swear if this Olympics was judged based on bronze medals, Canada would be number one right now in the rankings.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, pretty much. I mean, if I quickly press a couple of buttons and sort it by the bronze, you're ahead of Australia. So that puts you in a...

COLIN HILDING: We'll be number one on this podcast. That's all that matters.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly, exactly. You're equal on bronze with Germany and France and Britain, France. So, you know, not too bad, but yeah, decent. All right. Well, you can take that. Australia have won four less bronze than Canada. So yeah, that's how that rolls. Jarrod, for Australia, obviously, we'll get to Chloe in just a second. You're talking about the power walking with our main man, Jarrod Talent. He looked like he had the gold in the bag. He looked like he could finally actually win a gold on the day and not rely on the guy in front getting disqualified and getting it handed to him on the steps of Melbourne's Parliament House a couple of years later. But sadly, he lost it in the last two kilometres, but he was still happy with silver. With that result, he became the most successful Australian track and field male athlete in the history of the Olympics. It's his fourth medal out of three Olympics. And he still looks like he's ready to go on to Tokyo. I mean, we love Jarrod Talent, don't we?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, absolutely. I mean, any Australian who gets awarded a gold medal years after the actual Olympics when the other guy gets done for taking banned substances, I mean, that's a legend in our book. I mean, it was a great race. It looked like he was going to win. The commentators jinxed him like they always do. I mean, they were talking about how there was no way. Oh, he's definitely got it from here. Look at the gap that he's opened up, and then all of a sudden, he just kind of slows down and gets overtaken. But I mean, the silver lining is that now he's willing to kind of continue on to Tokyo, whereas if he'd won, that probably would have been it.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's an interesting sport, isn't it? They're crossing live to it a little bit, like I'm there watching the coverage last night. They're showing a bunch of replays, you know, I'm thinking like, well, come on, the event's alive, and they're showing the little Mega Wall thing, and they're like, oh, live on the Channel 7 app, you can watch the 50K race walk. And I'm thinking like, well, come on, we've got actually a very decent medal chance here in Jarrett Talent, shouldn't they be showing this live? I can see why they didn't want to show all four hours of it live, because it's kind of boring, if you want to put it nicely.

COLIN HILDING: Well, except for when somebody gets checked at the hip.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I saw that bit actually live. I didn't realise the Japanese race walkers were so, you know, buffy and bumpy. Like, I thought, you know, as a Canadian, he should be used to that. He's an ice hockey fan, no doubt. Like, come on. Well, he set a national record, I'm seeing here too, Colin. So, I mean, bronze or fourth, the fastest a Canadian has ever walked 50 kilometres before.

COLIN HILDING: That's right. And I think with the most style as well, because I think it's funny, because I always will watch at least the highlights from the race walk, just because it is the most hilarious way of competing ever. I mean, we think riding on frilly horses is one thing, but the hip swivel as you can't really take a proper step, you have to kind of shimmy your feet. I mean, it just, it looks absurd, but this has a lot of people, at least here in Canada, interested in it now. And even the interview I just finished watching, Evan was saying that a lot of people just don't give it a chance, but one interesting thing is that they are going in a loop, so that there's a real crowd there. This isn't something where you go for several kilometres and then, oh, well, here's a little gate and about 12 people are watching. I mean, people can sit there and watch it the whole time, and I guess for some people it is entertaining to watch for four hours.

BEN WATERWORTH: We shouldn't joke too much about it. I mean, obviously, it's a very tough event. I mean, I saw after the race of Jarrod Talon, apparently, he was so dehydrated. He had to wait two hours before he could give the drug testers a urine sample because he was that dehydrated. You got everybody collapsing on the line, and of course, the one that's doing the rounds at the moment, Johan Denis, the French walker who was leading, the world record holder too in this event, he was leading for most of it. He kind of slowed down a bit and it sort of come across that he actually pooed himself. I don't know if either of you saw this. He legitimately, Google it, you will see it. This footage of him like pooing his pants in the middle of this race. He's like stopped and like he was obviously not well, but he's kept going.

COLIN HILDING: That's what he stopped for?

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I think partly. I saw the stop.

COLIN HILDING: I was just wondering what it was.

BEN WATERWORTH: He was quite sick. He still finished eighth. Like good on him, but no, he actually pooed himself. Like no word of a lie. So, I mean, look, we joke and say it's funny and boring, but I mean, I doubt I could walk 50 kilometres in three hours and 40 minutes. I could probably barely walk 10 kilometres in three hours and 40 minutes.

COLIN HILDING: In all honesty, I mean, I do walk quite a bit, and I've done 20 kilometres in a little over three hours and 40 minutes. So, I mean, I'm at half, and I probably walk up to 80 kilometres a week. So, like, this is incredible what these guys can do. And I'm usually stopping to go to the bathroom two or three times on my way to work. So, these guys are incredible. These are the real athletes of the Olympics. Forget Andre DeGrasse. Forget he's saying bold. I want a race walk.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I think we all do. Jarrod, you're down for that, too. We'll just start an Off The Podium Race Walking Club.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, absolutely. I mean, even better if it's a three-legged race.

BEN WATERWORTH: But, I mean, we generally do all right. We're good walkers in Australia. Well, you just, there we go, seeing him poo himself. We shouldn't laugh, but we can at the same time. It's not often you get to see it.

COLIN HILDING: I just love just one tweet that somebody put up here, Yohan Denise. He finished eighth. It's like, who was ninth? You got to wonder. The ninth place won. What excuse do you have?

BEN WATERWORTH: Did you shit yourself in the middle of it? That was Cal Bonfim of Brazil. He finished ninth. Behind the guy who pooed himself. Yeah, all right. But the big one, the gold medal. The most unexpected gold medal in Australian Olympic history since Stephen Bradbury in 2002, Salt Lake Winter Olympics. Chloe Esposito. A day ago, no one knew who she was. No one knew what modern pentathlon was unless you were the five people who have listened to this show before. And somehow, some way, she has come out of nowhere to take the gold medal. Not only is this our first ever gold medal in modern pentathlon, it's our first medal in modern pentathlon. We've never medalled in the sport in our lives. And bam, here we go. Gold medal. Jarrod, I'm just going to say this right now. Chloe Esposito for Prime Minister.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Oh, absolutely. I mean, this is the event that we've been looking forward to the entire podcast. I think day one, we mentioned how long it was still the modern pentathlon. We obviously knew that we were going to be a big threat in this. The rest of Australia, not so much. This was just, I don't know, it was so unexpected, so amazing. I mean, she smashed the swim, which I suppose you kind of expect. I mean, the swim team could learn a little bit from Chloe in the pool. But it's such a good event.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's fun, isn't it?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, I could watch modern pentathlon all the time. I love the way that it ends. I love that they do the whole staggered start based on your points going in. So then you have an outright winner just based off that race and shoot at the end. I mean, this is an exciting sport to watch.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's thrilling. And the fact too that we actually got to see a fair bit of it, like they were showing the swimming. And I mean, this isn't even in the aquatic centre or where they have the waterpark. I think they've just put this in like some suburban pool in the streets of Rio. Like it just looked like they just put a couple of signs saying Rio 2016 next to some little shitty pool. Here these athletes are swimming. You know, the slowest 200 metres you'll ever see probably. They're still faster than I could swim 200 metres. I mean, it's just such a... This is why I love it. This is why I talk about it so much. Because I mean, who comes up with the idea of, let's combine swimming and fencing and riding and shooting and running, like of all the sports you can combine. And the fact then that out of nowhere, she was seventh going into that final round. It reminds me a lot. The running and the shooting is a biathlon in the Winter Olympics when they ski and shoot. It reminds me a lot of that. And then the fact that they're running around this stadium, which I think that's the Equestrian Stadium by the looks of it. And just the footage of her crossing the line and winning, her facial expressions sum up Australia. I'm like, what? I'm winning? What? Gold? What's this? Modern pentathlon? What's this sport? There are so many articles doing the rounds today in Australia of just what exactly is modern pentathlon? Oh, goodness me. Colin, I mean, I'm just looking here. You had an athlete in it. You had two, actually, to be precise. Melanie McCann, 16th. Good for her. And Donna Vakalis, 33rd. So that's not gold, though, Colin. Just thought I'd let you know.

COLIN HILDING: No, well, you know, they have to get disqualified and reinstated for it to make news here in Canada, so we didn't hear a lot about it.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's thrilling. It's so exciting. An Olympic record, too. Shall we point that out? Her total was 1,372. Ooh, that's a good score. Clearly, it was an Olympic record. And her brother, we said it maybe, is it her cousin that's competing in the men's, but her brother, it turns out, I think, is it Nathan Esposito? Jarrod, am I saying the right name? Pardon? Max. Oh, goodness me. What am I saying? Her dad competed, well, their dad, competed in the 1984 Summer Olympics, I think for Spain, I think I was seeing. Was I reading that correctly? I don't do my research. No, it was for Australia. Why am I saying Spain? I had them on the mind. But yeah, look, hands down, Jarrod, she's the closing ceremony flag bearer, you know, stuff Mack Horton, stuff Kyle Chantz, stuff them all. Chloe Esposito, flag bearer. She's going to walk out next to Penny Alexiak, and they're going to be besties.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Exactly. If we'd had more of these unexpected gold medals, we would be way out of the tally. So, I mean, she's pushed us back into the top ten. I mean, we were in danger of dropping out of it, and I mean, Chloe, legend, legendary.

BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. I mean, not only is she going to be on a stamp, I mean, I would buy a whole packet of those just to show my support. Like, just put her on an envelope, not just a stamp. Make a Chloe Esposito envelope, I say. Make a novel, the Chloe Esposito story.

COLIN HILDING: I have a question. Like you mentioned about the flag bearer. At this point, I don't know if there's a lot of talk there about flag bearer. It's interesting because here, when it came to London, like Rosie McLennan was the only gold medallist we had. And in the end, they picked the captain of the women's soccer team, Christine Sinclair. They won the bronze. And I think at the time, the reason they picked her had more to do with the fact that she was very vocal in criticising the officiating, which I don't know if it just got a lot of Canadians on board. Like, we're tired of being pushed around and letting people take our bronze medals or whatever. So we ended up giving it to somebody. Sinclair, like, is there a criteria? Does it usually end up going in Australia to the most successful athlete? Or is it like a high-profile person?

BEN WATERWORTH: It's pretty much usually, yeah, the most high-profile, like, who wins the most medals, I guess. Or, you know, like, I think Thorpe easily got it in Sydney. And then, what, Stephanie Rice, I think, got it in Beijing from memory. Did Sally Pearson get it in London? I don't even remember.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Not sure. I think also sometimes it goes to somebody who, like, they've been to a lot of Olympics, and this will kind of be their last one type thing. That's kind of a big criteria point, too.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, at this rate, we're going to have no athletes at the closing ceremony. They'll keep getting banned at the moment for breaking curfew. So, I mean, it might end up just going to, who knows? Just some random person who went out in the diving or something. But, yeah, it's generally most... I mean, Winter Olympics, I guess, is kind of like your Summer Olympics goal, and it's just whoever got a medal or got fourth. But, I mean, come on. I mean, is the debate right now between, what, Penny Alexiak and Andre Degrasse? Is that kind of the two that they're talking about? Because surely Penny's got to get it.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I think that... Well, it's tough to say because, you know, Penny definitely won one more medal, and she did win a gold. But the fact that Andre Degrasse medalled in all three events he was in is a big deal, too. I would guess that just because of the fact that... I mean, it's been 20 years since we've had success like this on the track. It's been since never that we had success like this in the pool. The advantage would probably go to Penny Alexiak at this point.

BEN WATERWORTH: And also she's, I mean, already your most successful Summer Olympian of all time, basically. So surely, surely, that's not even a question. I saw.

COLIN HILDING: And she holds one of each medal too.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. She can walk. I mean, I love seeing them. I don't know if they do it as much anymore, but when they come out in the closing ceremony, they're wearing their medals. So, you know, I mean, clearly Michael Phelps couldn't do that. But like if Penny Alexiak did it, you know, like, I mean, go on. Good to know you. I mean, Jarrod, I mean, we should really talk about this tomorrow. I guess we've got other stuff to talk about. But yeah, maybe we'll talk about that tomorrow. Who are other possible people for Australia who will do it? Definitely not the Campbell sisters. Let's just point that out. But outside of our Queen of the World, we have other events that happened. In the Women's Power Walking, Reagan Lambele was in the top 10. And Jarrah Talent's sister, Rachel, was 40th. And other Australian tenure holiday was 26. Alana Boyd, so close to a medal in the pole vault. You, Colin, said you were watching this one. She got 4th and was beaten by a New Zealander. But I might pass off Eliza McCartney because she seems like a nice woman.

COLIN HILDING: I'm watching the event with my wife, and I'm like, you know what? I have a feeling this New Zealander will be Ben's wife of the day tomorrow, even though she's a New Zealander.

BEN WATERWORTH: I could forgive the fact that she is a New Zealander because she is a bronze medallist.

COLIN HILDING: I get nervous when they repeatedly, at least on CBC, repeatedly referred to as the Kiwi teenager. So I had to Google her name.

BEN WATERWORTH: 19, she's 19. I checked too, don't worry. The fact that Chloe Esposito has become the most awesomest person in the world since the same bolt, like we don't give a shit that the boomers lost, do we, Jarrod? I mean, if she didn't win that gold, we'd all be, you know, oh, the boomers, they choked, whatever. But like, I honestly don't give two shits.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I mean, it was unexpected, but it definitely kind of softened the blow winning a gold medal elsewhere. And I feel like a lot less unexpected than the women losing a couple of days before, so that kind of softened the blow as well. But I mean, it would be nice for them to win a bronze just to kind of get that monkey off their back of not having won a medal at the Olympics.

BEN WATERWORTH: Bronze medallist, Ella Vadova. It also took the blow too in the BMX. We had a very strong chance in that, but Carolyn Buchanan again, she was in tears like she was in London. She was one of the favourites. She crashed out in the semis. So did Lauren Reynolds. And we had two men in the final, Sam Willoughby and Anthony Dean. They won all six races in the semifinals between them. They were the fastest two qualifiers, and they pulled a Campbell and didn't even get close to the medals. So that didn't happen. In the canoe kayak, we had some people go through to the finals, which I believe at the time of recording, they haven't won anything, so it doesn't really matter. In the 10-metre diving platform, James Connor and Dominic Bedgood, our man from the other day that we messaged, were 9th and 17th in the semifinal. Equestrian, the bronze Canadian sport, Edwina Topps Alexander, was equal 9th in the show jumping. Golf, Sue Oh, 66 after her third round. I believe she's in about 8th or 9th, wasn't she, Jarrod? She's five shots off bronze, apparently. So, yep, good for her. The rhythmic gymnastics started. Jarrod had the best day of his life. I saw a bit of this. Danielle Prince, she is in about 20th position, I think, at the moment. I mean, I don't... Reading here, 14.5 in the solid ball routine, her hoop routine. This is why this sport isn't a sport. I'm not going over that. Wrestling, sadly, Talget Ilyasov. I think we messaged him the other day, didn't we, Colin? He had to withdraw from the 74-kilogram freestyle wrestling. Oh, what a shame that was.

COLIN HILDING: See, this is what happens when you don't publish our messages.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. If he had that support, he wouldn't have been injured. I don't know why this isn't updating the synchronised... I mean, I watched the synchronised swimming, because I actually showed it, and the Australian team actually performed to the Australian survivor theme. No word of a lie. So, you know, just tying in again. They're listening to us here in the Oz network. So, yeah. But I mean, who gives a shit about what Australia did to the Boomers? Who cares? Chloe Esposito, that's all you care about. Colin, Canada, what else did they do besides win bronze by default?

COLIN HILDING: It's really sad that I've been struggling for the last half hour to find proper results for everything. But this is the close we'll get. It might be abbreviated. Or maybe Canada is just not really doing a lot right now. Obviously, the big ones were the three or four or three bronze medal finishes we had. The four by one hundred relay, obviously Canada came in fourth originally for that, but then the disqualification from Justin Gatlin. He's as bad as the French. Justin Gatlin cost the US. He did cost the US. The big surprise was, of course, Japan winning the silver in that without any real stars. I don't think they had anybody making the finals.

BEN WATERWORTH: They've got Asuka Cambridge. I mean, he's a star.

COLIN HILDING: He is in whatever McDonald's he works at back home, maybe. But that's what makes it all the more incredible when you can see a relay team like that beat some of the best in the world. So I just comment really quickly on the 4x100 relay. This is especially big for Canada because back in London, we were the ones disqualified from the bronze in the relay. And at the Pan Am Games last year, we were disqualified from the gold. So Canada's really suffered a lot of DQs in the relay. So to actually win this is great. It always is better if you could actually win it, but to win it by disqualification. The greatest two words in English language default. So good job, Andre de Graff, three medals. And of course, back to back bronze in soccer for the women's team. And to beat Brazil too in soccer, that's spectacular. What else was there? Equestrian, individual jumping, Eric Lamaze, and his great fine lady number five. This is the first medal for fine lady number five, and I believe the third for Eric Lamaze.

BEN WATERWORTH: The Michael Phelps of Canadian Equestrian.

COLIN HILDING: And of course, in the Women's 4x100 Relay, we finished seventh. It was a very awkward interview following that with the team, which I don't know if anybody could look it up online. And obviously, Evan Dunfee, placing fourth in the 50k race walk slash power walking, the great sport of tomorrow. Canada has qualified for two finals in what's supposed to be our great sport, canoeing, kayaking, slash rowing, that we've really flopped at hard in these Olympics. So Mark DeJohn was on to the finals, which, as we're sad to say at the end of this recording, he has already lost. And in the K4 boat, the women's team is in the finals, which I'm not sure if they've lost yet or not. And then last but not least, I'm really just hoping we get some TV coverage for this. Torrey Nyhog in the BMX is qualified for 5th in the finals, so he will go in the finals today.

BEN WATERWORTH: The BMX is over though, so...

COLIN HILDING: Is it over? We've been showing replays of a guy getting hip checked for the last 6 hours, and I missed the BMX.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yep, sorry to say that, yeah, no, that's done, it's over. And he didn't get a medal, so... Spoiler!

COLIN HILDING: Oh, so when they say he placed 5th, that wasn't qualifying 5th, that means he placed 5th.

BEN WATERWORTH: He probably placed 5th in the finals, so, yeah.

COLIN HILDING: See, this is how poor... It really is funny because a couple days ago, they had the results of every sport, and I'm skipping the stuff I don't want to read. And now I'm like, okay, did we do anything yesterday?

BEN WATERWORTH: He finished 5th in the final, I'm seeing it right here. Head of Australia is Sam Willoughby, and behind America is Nicholas Long.

COLIN HILDING: Maybe we can get Tory Nyhog on the show here to talk about his 5th place win. I'll learn more from that than I did from CBC's coverage. Oh, and of course I should mention, I don't know the results because they're not posting anything, but Brooke Henderson, at least as of yesterday, was in a pretty decent position heading into the final round for golf, only 18 years old, and we have a shot at meddling there.

BEN WATERWORTH: Golf, it produces the goods for at least one of us here on the show. So yes, and just looking here, it does seem that Canada did not meddle in the K4 either in canoeing. So I feel like I'm giving you spoilers, because CBC's coverage is like a day behind. Maybe they have Ryan Lochte as a producer, just four to six weeks, and you'll get the results. I don't know if that's how it works, but yes. Well, outside of Canada and Australia, obviously, I guess the big one, 4x1, Bolt did the triple-triple. He shattered in in the end, and I was watching that, and it didn't look good for Jamaica, but when you got Bolt giving you the anchor, then boom, down he went. Just amazing. We've already talked him up every time he's won a gold, the greatest human being to ever live, closely challenged by Chloe Esposito at this point. But what can we say about... Is there anything else to say about Bolt? We all just want to be him, don't we, and be with him? I don't know.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and he's never lost control of his bodily functions on the track, which is impressive.

BEN WATERWORTH: Jarrod, anything to add on him? I mean, we're not going to be able to talk about him before he's time for Tokyo. Maybe, I don't know, but probably not.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I feel like he needs to reconsider. He said after the relay that that was it, but after his 200 metres, he said it was up to the coach. So conflicting stories here. Somebody get in the ear of the coach and tell him to keep going because we want to see more of that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Maybe Michael Phelps needs to just, you know, keep going, keep going. Yeah, I don't really have much else to add in terms of, I mean, Germany won the football. Hopefully that's an omen for the men's as well. That would be great. Field hockey. Britain won that in a shootout against the Dutch. They prevented them, I think, winning from their third or fourth in a row there. Yeah, that's about it for the downside there. Other meta results for the day. The 50k walk that we've talked a lot about. Matej Toth after Slovakia won that one. The hammer throw. I'm sad we didn't get too much of the hammer throw, particularly when the great Dilshad Nazarov from Tajikistan won that one. What an athlete. Just a superstar of Tajikistan. He's just their best. The women's 5,000 metres. Went to Vivian Sheriukht of Kenya. It was a 1-2 there for the Kenyans. That was an Olympic record.

COLIN HILDING: Can we talk about that really quickly?

BEN WATERWORTH: Of course we can.

COLIN HILDING: Because I watched that in its entirety, and the bronze medallist was from what country?

BEN WATERWORTH: Ethiopia.

COLIN HILDING: Ethiopia, yeah. She was in the lead the entire time, a significant lead, and they were basically saying she's on pace to maybe set at least an Olympic record, maybe a world record, and then she fell out and the two Kenyans overtook her. What was exciting about that is that I was watching the clock at the end, and the top four finishers all surpassed the previous Olympic record. So it was a really impressive finish.

BEN WATERWORTH: This is Almez Ayana, who won the 10,000 metres, of course. So she couldn't quite do the double. But yeah, I know, it's amazing. Are they questioning it for drugs? It's amazing. As soon as the world are on Olympic records, they're like, oh, they're drug cheats. Times do go down, people, sometimes. Like, not everyone's on drugs. At least we hope they're not.

COLIN HILDING: At least four of them were this time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. The women's four by one, America won that one. The women's 20k walk went to Liu Hong of China. And the women's pole vault, Ekaterina Stefanidi of Greece. Took that one out. But yeah, then the superstar Eliza McCartney. What an upcoming jumper. It's an interesting sport, the pole vault. Like, it comes up with that. I know, let's run down a strip with a long pole and jump over something really high. Like, who invented that?

COLIN HILDING: Same person invented power walking.

BEN WATERWORTH: Probably. I don't know. Badminton, men's doubles, China. Fu Haifeng and Zhang Nan won that one. Big one in the women's singles, and Carolina Marin from Spain. She became the first woman not from Asia to win the women's singles in badminton in the history of the Olympics. So, that's a big result there. Boxing, women's lightweight Estelle Mosley from France. Won the gold. Far out. Cycling, the BMX, Colin. The men's BMX went to Connorfields of the US. The women's went to Mariana Payon of Colombia. Equestria in individual jumping, Nick Skelton from Britain, as I said, in the hockey. Britain won that. Gold in the soccer to Germany in the women. Modern pentathlon, Chloe Esposito. We just need to say it again. And she beat a French modern pentathlete. Oh, victory. How good is that? Synchronised swimming, women's team. Went to Russia. We had an Ivory Coast Czech, Salé Sisei. Won the 80 kilogram. I actually saw some Taekwondo finally, Colin. I showed some on TV. I like Taekwondo. Women's 67 kilo went to O'Haree of South Korea. Water polo, USA. Won the gold there. And in the wrestling, the freestyle. 57 kilo men's went to Vladimir Kinchagizhezhivy of Georgia. And the 74 kilogram freestyle men's went to Hassan Yazdani of Iran. So there you go. The medal tally as of right now. USA on top by a large margin still. I think they've won it. I'm calling it now. 38 gold, 35 silver, 32 bronze, 105. Britain still in top. Go the Brits. Just ahead of China. Germany have leaped up into fourth. And I think they've already won a couple more today too. So they're going to be going up higher. Russia in fifth. Australia, as Jarrod said, we're in eighth position now. Hanging on by the skin of our teeth. By the fact that we've won more gold. They've equaled us on gold and silver, but we've got four more than the Italians. So we need a couple more silver and bronzes to maintain. Oh, gold would be nice. Canada in 19th. Four gold, three silver, 14 bronze. 21 in total. You are behind New Zealand on the basis that you've won five less silver medals, Colin. They've won four gold, eight silver, four bronze. And Brazil, the host nation, they're starting to catch up. They've won five gold, six silver, five bronze. Now, news just quickly. I guess the big one for Australia. We've had about a quarter of our team caught out sneaking into the basketball charade. Their faked accreditation. Ten athletes snuck in somehow to the basketball with fake accreditation and were arrested. And basically, the AOC has come out and said, like, no, don't jail them. We'll pay all the fines and the legal fees. Please give their passports back. What's going on with our athletes, Jarrod? We've got Ryan Lochte as an inspiration for half of these people.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I think they've all just gone a little bit stir-crazy from the curfew. I think the AOC had to pay $40,000, I think it was, to keep them all kind of out of jail. I mean, it would be hard. You'd be tempted by all those spare seats. I mean, the events are pretty much empty. You think you're doing a favour, making it look like there's people there, and then you sneak in, and then look what happens.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, and I'm just thinking, we've got the list of athletes here. Oh, gee, our archers, our bronze medals archers, Alec Potts and Ryan Tyak. What's going on, guys? I mean, I can understand Simon Orchard from the hockey, but not these archers. Fascinating there. They'll probably be banned from the closing ceremony. Speaking of being banned from the closing ceremony, they overturned what's-the-name's decision, the swimmer lady. I've gone blank on her. Swimming was so last week. She's allowed to march in the closing ceremony, but the other guy, he got robbed and passed out in Copacabana, the beach, and he's not allowed to march. Does this not always happen to Canada, Colin Amino? Your athletes are so well behaved.

COLIN HILDING: Well, the closest we came was, I don't know if you remember it all, back in Nagano, the first year there was snowboarding. We had a gold medal in snowboarding, Ross Revelliati.

BEN WATERWORTH: For marijuana.

COLIN HILDING: Then he tested positive for marijuana, which they later revealed was probably enough that he was walking past somebody on the street, and he breathed in that much. But he temporarily had the medal stripped from him, and that became news worldwide. But somehow that actually made him more of a hero in Canada. So, yeah. No, I don't think anybody ever gets banned in Canada. Of course, we had Ben Johnson in 1980 in Seoul. But then again, I think six out of the eight finalists actually got their decisions overturned. So I don't even know if there's an official bronze medallist from Seoul. That was like the biggest mess of all time.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's so fascinating that the whole... Yeah, I remember that when he got those gold taken in Nagano. Why is marijuana on the banned substance list? If you win a gold medal having marijuana in your system, I think you should get an extra gold medal, to be honest.

COLIN HILDING: That was the argument they did make.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's not exactly performance enhancing. I think it's the opposite. He'd stop halfway through the pipe going, Dude, look at the snow. It's not an actual... I mean, God. That's the most ridiculous performance enhancing drug ever. But okay, whatever. Good on him. All right, what did we watch? We watched a lot. Jarrod, I think we've touched on a little bit. You're watching the triathlon right now, if we want to date this in terms of the fact that we're recording this a day later, but whatever. What else? Did you catch your rhythmic gymnastics?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I did catch some pieces of the rhythmic gymnastics. I'm still kind of wondering why it's there, although I must admit the team kind of synchronised ribbon throwing is a lot more exciting than the individual event. So maybe we can get rid of the individuals and just have team events in that to cut a little bit out of the schedule. Watched a lot of the athletics. It was exciting. I think the 4x400 metre relay that Aussie girls got through on fastest time from non-automatic qualifiers. I mean, that was exciting to see.

BEN WATERWORTH: It was. And I mean, I know, Colin, you're mentioning about Japan. Big shock getting the 4x1 silver. I remember it was back in Athens. Our 4x4 men got a silver on that, didn't they, Jarrod? And no one expected that. That was out of the complete blue. And I don't think we've got a team in the men's 4x4. But, you know, that was exciting. I saw that too. Colin, get much of anything else that we haven't mentioned?

COLIN HILDING: You know, I didn't get a chance to watch anything during the day. I was at work, and I came home, and everything was just trials, heats. So it got to be like 8 o'clock before I actually started seeing anything. And then it was just nonstop, all the replays of everything in the evening that I actually enjoyed watching. I mean, obviously, the track stuff, I watched the 5,000-metre women's finals. I watched the 4x400 relay, both 4x100 relays. I did watch about 5 minutes of Eric Lamaze and Fine Lady 5 with Equestrian show jumping. But the most entertainment I actually got was probably watching the badminton finals that you mentioned, which Spain won, and volleyball, the semi-finals, Russia against Brazil, which was absolutely crazy. So yeah, a lot of badminton, volleyball, and was there anything else? Right now, I am watching men's wrestling. Of course you are. It's about to start. Yeah, so lots going on here. It's going to be an exciting update tomorrow. I don't know if Canada has anything left to give in the Olympics.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think we do either. I think we're just going to, at the end of the Olympics, just talk about, I don't know, China, trying to catch to Britain or something. I don't know. I mean, I think it's actually funny, because we joke about Chloe Esposito, but I swear, I don't know if this happens with Canada, maybe in the Winter Olympics, but you get to a point of the Summer Olympics here in Australia, where the swimming's done, you maybe have one athlete in the athletics who's expected to get a gold, you've maybe got a couple of teams here and there, but there's always seems to be that one surprise gold that comes out of nowhere. I swear it was four years ago we had the kayakers, wasn't it, Jarrod? We weren't expecting that. And we got the K4, which they've already lost, by the way. They, I think, were fifth in their final this evening. And Beijing, I can't even remember. I know Athens. I mean, God, we won more gold than we did in Sydney. That was a lot of shocks there. Like Sydney, we had, what, Simon Fairweather in the archery that no one ever thought we'd win a gold medal in archery, and that came into nowhere. But what is it about it? Like, do you think there's these athletes, Jarrod, that they know they're right at the end, and like, well, there's no pressure on us because when nobody talks about it, it's like Chloe Esposito pulls a Bradbury and just wins it out of nowhere.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think it is the fact that there's no pressure on them. There's no focus so they can just concentrate on their events and not have to worry about expectations or the media or anything. And I think that's just a real blessing to have no attention on you and to just be able to kind of run your own race and compete at your own level. And I suppose it's just achieving your personal goals rather than having lofty expectations from the nation.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'll probably say, actually, Basing, I'm thinking about Matt Mitchum. He won that 10-metre platform about this point, didn't he? No one expected him to win that gold. And he still talks about it every freaking night on Baza From Brazil. Get over it, Matt. It was eight years ago now, all right? Colin, does that happen in the winter? I guess really with the winter, because you guys are all focused on the final day, because that's generally when your ice hockey team is about to win the gold.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, it's funny because the summer compared to the winter, right now in the summer, the question is, oh, do we have any other medals we're in contention for? Whereas no matter what our medal count is, going into the last two days, it basically is, okay, so we know we're getting gold in men's and women's curling, and we know we're getting gold in men's and women's hockey, so you can add four more gold on to whatever we have right now. It's not quite the same in the summer. Like I said, especially this time, they're really downplaying our chances in any category, which maybe it's worked out. We're, I think, one medal away from tying Athens as our all-time record for Summer Olympics. There was 22 in Athens, and we're at 21 right now. Could have been at 22, but, well, Mr. Evan Dunfee is being too Canadian and not putting up a fight. But yeah, I don't know, men's wrestling is going on right now. Maybe we can top that this time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, well, indeed. Fingers crossed for the wrestling. I actually saw a bit of the footage of Roy and HD doing commentary from the Sydney Olympics in wrestling. And that about sums up wrestling for me, if I have to be honest. So go back and watch it. I'm just thinking, say, Athens, you won 12. Are you talking about maybe Atlanta? You won 22 in Atlanta, apparently. Is that, are you thinking Atlanta or Athens?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah. Sorry, that's what I meant. Yeah, Athens, oh my goodness. Athens was like one of our worst ever.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, 363 in Athens. Atlanta, 3, 11, 8 in Atlanta. Well, a lazy 44 in Los Angeles, but I guess that's when everyone boycotted, so that doesn't really count, right?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, you can never count the 1980 and 84 Olympics because half the countries chose to boycott on either side. So I keep quoting the Simpsons episodes, but the Simpsons one where they're watching the 1984 Los Angeles Games and everybody falls in the pool is drowning, and they're like, you know, America has a lot more chance of the medal because most of the good nations couldn't actually compete.

BEN WATERWORTH: I actually remember, I think I was looking at the medal teller the other day, and I believe New Zealand finished in the top 10 in 1984. I mean, that sums up the Olympics for you right there. There's no nations here in New Zealand can make the top 10. So yeah, that definitely doesn't count in 1984. Athlete of the day, I'm not even going to put this up to debate. Chloe Esposito wins his hands down, right?

COLIN HILDING: Okay, to be honest, I never saw the modern pentathlon.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, it doesn't matter, right? You're an Australian, Colin, if you don't say... Oh, right, okay, you're not Australian. Jarrod, I mean, you're down with this, right?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it's athlete of the day. Horse of the day would be a tough one between the equestrian and the modern pentathlon horses. I didn't realise, and it's crazy, that they just draw for horses out of a hat or something. You just get given some horse to do show jumping with that you've never ridden before.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow.

JARROD LOOBEEK: I mean, do we need any more respect for modern pentathletes? I mean, that skill's right there, the equestrian.

BEN WATERWORTH: Dude, that and the equestrian? You know how would Eric Watson's face done without fine lady number five and gets given like, woe is me, horsey boy? Like, I don't know, like, come on.

COLIN HILDING: Okay, I will give you your gold in the modern pentathlon, but I want to put up at least one more athlete. If you can pitch a loaf straight through your shorts and still come in eighth place in a race walk that's 50k, you deserve at least an honorable mention here.

BEN WATERWORTH: But he is French, so...

COLIN HILDING: Does that explain why he soiled himself?

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, just like Jarrod was talking about the other day, the French pole vaulting guy was complaining that he has booed. I mean, he's French, he's used to it. But I mean, God, if I was French, I'd be used to shitting myself, because I, you know, I'm French. So... I don't know. Yeah, look, I mean, seriously, the guy shit himself in the top ten of an Olympic event. Like, you know, I mean, that's class. That's class right there. He legitimately shit himself. We shouldn't laugh at that, but he actually shit himself in the middle of the Olympics. What's going through his mind at that point? Like, he's walking down things. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, it's dripping down my leg. I get concerned if I'm about to fart in public.

COLIN HILDING: Can you imagine if, you know, Evan Dunfee, when he got hip check, can you imagine if he farted right ahead of him? This is just sabotage at this point.

BEN WATERWORTH: You know, the old saying, never trust to fart. I guess, like, at that point, like, going, oh, it's just a fart. Oh, no, it's not. Oh, Johan Deniz, sure, why not, you know, take away from Chloe. Speaking of Chloe, the Ben's Wife category, well, look, it's a tough one. It's between Chloe, you know, she's good, she's nice, but Eliza McCartney, I mean, goodness me, for a New Zealander.

COLIN HILDING: They look like they could be sisters to something.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, finally. That's even better. Yeah, I don't know. I've got to toss a coin here, I feel like. I'm enjoying the women's athletics. Can I just point that out? I've much appreciated more of female athletics in these Olympics. It's usually about the gymnastics, but I feel like I'm getting too old and creepy from having to always constantly Google their ages. Whereas, like, at least in the athletics, for the most part, I'm okay. So, that and modern... Actually, but having said that, I really did appreciate the Russian synchronised swimming team. I thought they were good. They were very good at their synchronised swimming. So, yeah, I'm really creepy in this segment. Let's move on.

COLIN HILDING: There's only one more day to go through this, people.

BEN WATERWORTH: Channel 7, shit, shit, shit. I don't really have anything for Channel 7, shit, shit, shit, today, actually. I don't know if I was really paying too much attention. I mean, the fact that I woke up to think that I'm dreaming, seeing as winning a gold and modern pentathlon. Jarrod, I don't know if you have anything for the channels of seven.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it was kind of a tame day. The only thing I can remember was when we thought that Jarrod Talent had it all wrapped up, and he was going to win. And there was a comment about the other guy who ended up winning, and they said, he may be the Wizard of Walking, but Jarrod Talent, he's the Wizard of Oz. Which was pretty terrible.

BEN WATERWORTH: Was that Bruce?

JARROD LOOBEEK: No, I think it was the other guy commentating with him.

BEN WATERWORTH: Gee, I didn't quite catch that one. Actually, the only bit I saw was the whole up in the Zumbos, just dessert business, and they've somehow got Zumbo on the mountains of Brazil, turning one of it into like a freaking giant crockenbush or whatever the hell they're called. So great special effects there, channel seven. Colin, has Canadians called anyone pigs today or mistaken that Michael Phelps was somebody else again?

COLIN HILDING: No, there was a brief moment right before the badminton where they said it's Spain versus Indonesia, and then came back and felt they had to apologise for confusing Indonesia and India. But the funniest moment wasn't so much commentary. It was right after the 4x100 relay where they were showing the video for the first time of the U.S.'s disqualification. Of course, at this point, they don't have very good angles. And you think that the interviewer would have seen the footage going in. It's like, all right, we're going to show you the footage right now. And this is the moment. Do you see it? And then one of the Canadian runners is like, uh-huh, yeah. It's like, you see it? No. It's like, all right, well, we have a better angle here. And this is the moment right here. OK, was that it? And then the runners are like, uh, no, no, I'm not sure what I'm looking at. All right, thanks for joining us here today, guys, and just ended the interview abruptly like that.

BEN WATERWORTH: Did they have Donovan Bailey then watching the footage, trying to see, like, which athlete was right or wrong?

COLIN HILDING: I do want to say, though, just to add on top of that, they did show during the interview with Evan Dunfee, they did have pictures of his grandmother at home watching it on an iPad.

BEN WATERWORTH: On an iPad! Wow! It's technologically advanced in the grandparents' categories in Canada. Well, in all seriousness, they actually did that a bit tonight in the canoe kayak. Before we came on air, they were cutting to, like, the Gold Coast Surf Club, watching the men's K4, you know, blokes, yeah, whatever. Actually, funnily enough, I do remember a bit, I think this was in the last 24 hours, now that I think about it, the channel said they were interviewing the one from the K2 that got the bronze, not Ken Wallace, the other one. And they've got, like, you know, he's like the most bliky Australian guy you've ever bloody heard, mate. Like, he bloody speaks, like, this, he was bloody stoked to win the bloody bronze. And they get there, and he's, like, talking about his friends, like, oh, yeah, me mate back home, I can't remember his name, say Trevor, but we like to call him Faggy. He's just live on TV. And he's basically told this story about how they were, like, in a pub one night, and his mates dared him, like, I bet you can't make the Olympics, a $5,000 bet. So he bet him $5,000 that he could make the London Olympics, didn't make it, so gave him $5,000, obviously made the Rio Games, won a bronze medal, so I don't know how he's going to have to, like, repay that. But, I mean, this is just, like, Andre de Grasse, I've gone blank already, like, I dare you, like, this is all it takes, like, to win a medal. I dare people. Like, that's it. Colin, I dare you to make the Olympics.

COLIN HILDING: No, I dare you to the pole vault, the women's pole vault.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, absolutely. I'd do anything to get into the women's pole vault. I'd even wear one of those tight little clothes.

COLIN HILDING: What?

BEN WATERWORTH: I dare you to shit yourself in the 50k walk in Tokyo.

COLIN HILDING: I won't do it in Tokyo, but I'll do it in the 50k walk.

BEN WATERWORTH: Do you really think that he's going to get an incontinence pad-like sponsorship? Like, when I was in the Rio Olympics, I shit myself. If only I was wearing Depends pads, I wouldn't have shit myself.

COLIN HILDING: I want to see him and Evan Dunfee's grandmother as the new spokesman for Depends now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh god, they're lighting up in France for his sponsorship. Anyway, I don't have anything for news.com today, I don't read them anymore, whatever. Where are we up to now? Oh, Canadian Athlete of the Day, we're already there already. Yay, do we have any? Who do we have today?

COLIN HILDING: Sadly, it's not in Ben's favour. Well, it is Ben's least favourite sport, wrestling. But she did not medal. I think she got through to the quarterfinals in her weight class, Jasmine Meehan. This one may be one of the better ones I've read. So hi, my name is Jasmine Meehan, and I'm Canadian. My favourite Olympic moment was when Donovan Bailey won gold in Atlanta, and when she wrote gold, it's shining based on her picture. If I could choose any Olympic host city, it would be Rio. That's where we're going, baby. And again, everything's exclamation marks here. Draw a picture of yourself. Okay, I'll try to illustrate this as best as I can. She's drawn, I guess, what's supposed to be her, a maple leaf on her chest. And there are thought bubbles, five thought bubbles coming out of her head. The first is a thought bubble of nail polish. The second one is a thought bubble of an Olympic podium with the one, two, and three spots. The third one is a thought bubble of the Olympic rings. The fourth is a thought bubble of a jar of Nutella. And the fifth is a thought bubble of a cup of steaming coffee. So there's a lot in her mind there. Maybe if she was thinking less about nail polish, Nutella, and coffee, she could have gotten on the podium. This one really deserved the exclamation point. In my spare time, I most like to watch sports documentaries!

BEN WATERWORTH: While thinking about Nutella!

COLIN HILDING: The weirdest instruction a coach ever gave me was, wrestling is a weird sport with a lot of strange sayings. Butt drag, butt drag, high crotch, squeeze!

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, maybe I don't need to get into this sport.

COLIN HILDING: My favourite workout is, any workout with my strength coach, Mac Attack, Reed. I don't know what that even means. She's speaking in code now. If I could have lunch with any one person, it would be Chris Hadfield. On the moon!

BEN WATERWORTH: Who's Chris Hadfield?

COLIN HILDING: Chris Hadfield is the most famous Canadian astronaut of all time.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think he holds the ground control to Major Tom guy.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, exactly. He's released an album. I believe he also holds the record for most amount of time on the space station, too. He's Canadian. Draw a picture of a Canadian animal. She drew, I guess, a smiling beaver, or maybe it's Chris Hadfield crossed with a beaver. It actually looks like it could be both. If I could have any superpower, it would be I would be a witch at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And I don't know if that's a superpower or a fictional science, but we'll take it. The best candy in the world is sour keys. As a kid, my favourite sports team was the Chicago Bulls. Loved Dennis Rodman with a heart.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right, because everybody wrote to the Bulls in the 90s because of Rodman.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, that's right. It was all Rodman. My favourite sports movie is Cool Runnings, Feel The Rhythm, Feel The Rime, and she drew a bobsled going down a track.

BEN WATERWORTH: Did you finish the quote?

COLIN HILDING: I don't get on up. It's bobsled time. Cool Runnings!

BEN WATERWORTH: I'd fist bump you right now, Colin.

COLIN HILDING: What's that?

BEN WATERWORTH: I'd fist bump you right now if I could.

COLIN HILDING: That's right. Virtual fist bump. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Canada, the greatest country on Earth.

BEN WATERWORTH: Finally, a patriotic athlete. They all want to leave except for her.

COLIN HILDING: What would the coolest Olympic medal look like? It is a maple leaf with the Olympic rings in the middle. When I was little, I always thought everyone had an identical twin living somewhere in the world. Anytime I was out in public places like the mall, I was keeping my eyes, as she drew eyes, open for my long lost twin. And my favourite joke to tell is, she drew a person wearing a mitt with a finger that says Canadian middle finger, and then they're saying sorry. So it's a very elaborate joke that I don't think is communicated that well in the picture.

BEN WATERWORTH: So hang on, so basically Canadians like to give the finger, I know you guys like to say sorry, but like, is that a Canadian thing? Like, fuck you, sorry.

COLIN HILDING: I don't know. I guess giving it through a mitt so somebody doesn't know, you're polite enough that you don't want them to know you're flipping them off.

BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, gotcha.

COLIN HILDING: So I say we give a salute of a butt drag butt drag high crotch squeeze to Jasmine Meehan.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, I'm learning so much about Canadian athletes. I love it. Great. We've only got like one more to go, don't we? So you better make it a good one, Colin. Fan messages. Now, I'm disappointed, Australia, because I'm scrolling through this page, and there's only about four for Chloe Esposito. The rest are to the boomers. How sexist are you, Australia? The boomers suck. The boomers suck. Chloe Esposito won gold. The boomers can't win gold.

COLIN HILDING: I just want to say, coming from the guy who dedicates a five-minute segment every day to finding his future wife.

BEN WATERWORTH: I could make it a husband if I felt like it, but I don't. Anyway, to Oz Olympic team from Stephanie in New South Wales. Hi. I was just wanting to suggest that maybe Penny Taylor might be a good candidate to be the flag bearer at the closing ceremony. This is her last Olympics, and she always has represented Australia with immense pride and determination that has seen her be a medal winner repeatedly. She might not have an Olympic gold, but she is an Aussie gold. Oh, Steph. I don't know who. Who's Penny Taylor? Jarrod?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Basketballer.

BEN WATERWORTH: Of course she is. Of course she is.

COLIN HILDING: Did you say glow baller?

BEN WATERWORTH: Blow baller?

JARROD LOOBEEK: Basketballer.

BEN WATERWORTH: Basketballer.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, I thought you said glow baller.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, that's...

COLIN HILDING: Do you have glow bowling there?

BEN WATERWORTH: I don't even know what that is.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, it's like bowling in a bowling alley with neon lights everywhere.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, right, yes. Maybe. I don't think I've been bowling in a good few years. Yeah. I've only got one bowling alley in all of Hobart, so... Yeah. James Lloyd of New South Wales to the Oz Olympic team. Good work, Patty. Wasn't the Australian Olympic team called something else the other day? You're doing your people in Australia proud. Lots of love from down under. PS. Looks like the team hurting a bit. You've been working hard. Maybe time for a massage. Unwired a bit. Bogut needs one of the most kahuna. A good trust me then gear up and give it hell. What? That doesn't make sense.

COLIN HILDING: What language did I just hear?

BEN WATERWORTH: How do our messages not get published yet? This is talking about bit Bogut needs one of the most kahuna. A good trust me. All right. Brooke Stratton. We don't want to talk about Brooke Stratton. Dominic Bedgood, our man from Warwick in New South Wales. Enjoy your semi-final. Good luck. Here we go. Chloe Esposito from Armand Stefan in New South Wales. Hi, Chloe. Congratulations. We are so proud of you. It's Casey's mum. Today, all we have done was watch the TV, recorded it. Every time you come on, which was every 10 minutes, I was crying with happiness and pride. Can you imagine how proud your parents are? God bless you all. We'll definitely see you when you come back. All the best to your brother, love.

COLIN HILDING: When they come back to, what, Rio or the Olympics?

BEN WATERWORTH: Look at all this support for Patty Mills. Did he win a gold? No, he lost. He's not even probably going to win a bronze. Patty Mills. No, Maddie Delivered over here though, Jarrod. Here's another one. From Kerry Johnson of Victoria to Chloe Esposito. Congratulations, Chloe. Absolute sensational achievement. You are a credit to your family and country. Exactly. You are right there. She is a credit to our country. Ellis Nell of Victoria to Morgan Mitchell. Dear Morgan, if you see this, I think you are awesome and great job at Rio. You are my new idol. And you are awesome. Good luck in the 4x400 relay final. You're amazing. Go Australia. But obviously, if she doesn't see it, she sucks.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, if you don't see it, I hate you.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. Okay, come on. Chloe Esposito from DJ in Queensland. Well done. What an amazing achievement for such a young lady. Can't wait to see you in future competitions. You have done Australia proud. I grew up in Pitcon. Enjoy your gold medals. So what? Is that like that person the other day? I'm messaging you from Sydney, where I live. Yeah. Just a random thing. Michael in Victoria to Danielle Prince. Just saw the replay on TV. Congratulations on your graceful performance. Also, I need some tips on how to get such amazing calf muscles. Good luck for the future. Hope to see you represent us again.

COLIN HILDING: I think it's power walking. That's what it comes down to.

BEN WATERWORTH: From Hunter, from no location, to Belinda Hocking. Hi, Belinda. I'm a student at St. Bernard's, Wangaratta. My teacher was your friend Jess Whitehead. Do you remember her? Right. Far too wide here to Chloe Esposito. Jane Scott from Queensland. Congratulations, you gorgeous girl. We are all crying tears of joy amongst schools of delight. Thrilled for Daniel and Suzanne. You all deserve this moment. And believe me, so many people are thrilled as you have all touched so many people's hearts with your inner discipline and incredible faith. Give Max our love and best wishes tomorrow, Jane.

COLIN HILDING: Incredible faith?

BEN WATERWORTH: Faith, faith.

COLIN HILDING: OK.

BEN WATERWORTH: Gotta have faith, faith, faith. Final, actually no, one here. Fiona Foster from New South Wales. To Athletics. Sending you all the love and support, Jess. So very proud of you. Can't wait to see you running in the final. Go you great thing. Very generic there. All right, who do we message today?

COLIN HILDING: Did you have, do you say you had somebody in the 50k race walk?

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, we got a silver in that, Jarrod Talent.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, that's right.

BEN WATERWORTH: Our greatest track and field athlete that has a penis ever. So we can say good job not shitting yourself.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, did you catch a whiff of it when you were downwind or something like that?

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, that's that's one of the comments section. Hang on, I've got to find him too. A lot of people in athletics. Where are you, Jarrod? There you are. Schedule. No, we don't want to schedule him. Come on the show. Off The... They're so banish. Bloody AOC. Next Olympics, we're doing this from New Zealand. Oh, God. I think Australia sucks in the Winter Olympics, New Zealand. God, they've only won one silver medal. They haven't won anything since. Though having said that, they actually won a Winter Olympic medal before we did. So we can't talk there. All righty. Who was that? That was an Alpine skier, I think, in Albaville. She won, like, the downhill or something like that anyway. Probably New Zealand's Prime Minister by now.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Surely by default.

BEN WATERWORTH: Did you catch a whiff of... What do we say? Did we catch a whiff of it?

COLIN HILDING: What was the guy's name again?

BEN WATERWORTH: Johan Denise. Did you catch a whiff...

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, just say Johan.

BEN WATERWORTH: When you went past him. Never trust a fart, lol. PS.

COLIN HILDING: This is by far our least likely to get published.

BEN WATERWORTH: PS. I'm from Cabaretta.

COLIN HILDING: Do you remember me?

BEN WATERWORTH: From Walmart? That's what tomorrows needs to be. It just needs to be the best of. J-Mac. Do you remember me in Walmart? Getting a whiff. You hit shuttlecocks well. Done, all right. Okay, so we're basically now into day 50. It's actually the penultimate day, but I guess when we come back on closing ceremony day, we'll talk about that in the final day. But this is the busiest day of the Olympics. This is the day that's already started when we're recording it. 30 gold medals today, if you don't mind. That's more than Canada has won, I think, in the history of the Summer Olympics, isn't it? Probably not. That's a bit mean. Andrew Gaze doesn't know. So every single sport that is on today, there are medals being decided. So we've got wrestling, water polo, volleyball, triathlon, which I think they're pulling a camel in right now, Jarrod, taekwondo, modern pentathlon for the men, handball, gymnastics, the fake one, golf, football, the men's finals on today, go Germany, diving, mountain biking begins today, canoeing sprints the last day for that, boxing, basketball, badminton, and athletics, if you don't mind. What are you looking forward to, Colin? I mean, it started already, so you're watching it already, but I mean, what tickles your fancy? Is it all about wrestling, diving, all of them?

COLIN HILDING: Well, I mean, I love diving. It's probably my favourite summer sport, but I have to be honest, this is one day where, despite the fact that the Olympics is the biggest thing going in Canada, it doesn't even have primetime coverage night, because I don't think I'd be a good Canadian if I didn't mention this. The biggest Canadian band in history by far, the Tragically Hip. Not Nickelback, no. I don't even think my wife knows what we're talking about. When I said Nickelback, she was in the other room, and she just yelled out, eww.

BEN WATERWORTH: She's well trained. Good job.

COLIN HILDING: The biggest Canadian band in history is a band called the Tragically Hip. And just to put it in perspective, I would say maybe the Beatles are bigger than them. If you combine the Rolling Stones and U2, I don't think they're as big as the Tragically Hip are here. They're bigger than anything ever. And in between when they recorded their last album and their final tour, the lead singer was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. So basically he knows he's about to die, and he said, we're going to do one final tour. And their final concert forever is being broadcast live on TV tonight. This is basically the equivalent if you had Mick Jagger or Bono say, I'm dying and I'm going to do one final show, how big that would be. So the Olympics is preempted. They're actually promoting right now the Tragically Hip concert tonight. If you want to watch the Olympics, you better watch it on the app. So I don't know how much TV coverage we're going to have. I'll be watching throughout the day and tonight, but it's not even making news here right now, the Olympics, because of how big this is.

BEN WATERWORTH: I've literally had to Google them. I've never heard of them in my life. But wow, there you go. We had a thing. It was a crowded house. Jarrod did that in the 90s, where it were done and they performed on the Sydney Opera House. They did some big farewell concert. I seem to remember that growing up. I don't know if you might be young for that. I don't know. Did they die? They're still going. Did they die? No, they're still going. Have you heard of crowded house, Colin?

COLIN HILDING: Oh, is that Don't Dream It's Over? Yeah, yeah.

BEN WATERWORTH: But they're not tragically hip. I mean, come on.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, no.

BEN WATERWORTH: Definitely not. I love here on the Wikipedia page, the tragically hip for their discography. It's got char positions in Canada, US. US. Heat, and the Netherlands. Clearly, big over in Dutch land. Jarrod, you're watching the triathlon right now. I think we've pulled a Campbell. What else are you going to be watching today?

JARROD LOOBEEK: I'm looking forward to the athletics. We've got Ryan Gregson in the 1500 metres, which is the first time we've had an Australian in the men's final in 40 years, which is pretty impressive. And then looking forward to watching Max Esposito in the modern pentathlon, now that he has all this pressure on him to do as well as Chloe.

BEN WATERWORTH: National sport in Australia already. It's huge. Massive. Chloe.

COLIN HILDING: What's going on with your high jump?

BEN WATERWORTH: With the high jump? What do you mean the high jump?

COLIN HILDING: Your woman's high jump. Isn't that still going?

BEN WATERWORTH: That finished, didn't it? We didn't make the final.

COLIN HILDING: Oh, I don't know. I didn't see it.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's coming to Canada in about a week, I think. That finished like a day ago, didn't it? Yeah. Well, I know Australian didn't make it. She's still crying about it, wearing her big sunglasses. I think we talked about it. Clearly, I love it that much that I paid attention to. If this would load for me, I could tell you who would want it. While it's loading.

COLIN HILDING: I don't know. This is claiming that the finals are on tonight at 6.30.

BEN WATERWORTH: All right. Well, there you go.

COLIN HILDING: I was kind of excited to watch it after you talked about it so much.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, you should be. It's the women's high jump. I mean, you're right. It hasn't happened yet. Okay. Never mind. You got me worried there for a moment. Women's high jump. It's on tonight. Is my Italian... Desiree Rositt's in it. There we go. That's right. And your treasure lady from Canada is in there as well. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's all right, then. Just missed my opportunity. Got to buy a few engagement rings, so we'll get into it. But yeah, we've got one more full day to go to cover day 15, and then we'll have one more episode to go after that to recap, I guess, the closing ceremony, the final day, our favourite moments, and why Chloe Esposito is the Queen of the World. So yeah, like us on Facebook. Follow us on... We don't have Twitter, really, but find us on e-mail. Hashtag Off The Podium.

COLIN HILDING: Follow us on Twitter.

BEN WATERWORTH: Follow us on Twitter, at myc55david, at Kolkatron, and at jlubik. And we appreciate... We got a couple of comments and that on our Facebook page, and links, Catherine and the gang, thank you. I did see them. And I had a few people tweet me last night saying, oh, the Australian Survivor theme for... The Australian... It was funny, because I just tweeted it. Two seconds later, I got one. And it's like, oh, I just tweeted it. Anyway, thanks for the feedback. We appreciate it. But it's getting close to the end. It's sad, but when you got Chloe Esposito winning gold, and you don't expect it, it's a happy day. Colin, thank you for your time today, and so much appreciated for your time today, that I won't give you a thank you by default.

COLIN HILDING: All right, and I'm thankful you ended this, while I still had a chance to go to the bathroom.

BEN WATERWORTH: Jarrod, I hope you too have had time to go to the bathroom.

JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, there's always time for a bathroom break, even if you don't have a bathroom to go to, evidently. It's going to be a couple of clutch days. We're sitting on eight gold medals, which is equal to our effort in London, so it would just be nice if we could beat that one more. One more, I think.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think we've got nine in Atlanta from memory. So one more to get to our Atlanta standards, you know, before we peaked in Sydney, Athens, and Beijing, and then failed miserably. So thank you, big company, and remember, never trust a fart.