Rio 2016 Day 13 Review

Another episode where all we basically talk about is Usain Bolt and Ryan Lochte. One has gotten better, the other has gotten worse. Which order do you think that's in? Ben also discovers a new favourite sport, Colin discovers Canada are pretty awesome at the Summer Olympics and those epic fan messages keep coming.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.

BEN WATERWORTH: Good afternoon, evening and good night from Off The Podium, An Olympics Podcast, Episode 15. To recap, the 13th day of the 2016 Rio Olympic Games. On a massive day for so many reasons. We had legends, complete triple doubles. We had legends, find out that they're lying and sneak back to the US of A. And we had legends, winning silver medals in sailing. But we've got lots to talk about, lots to get to. It's myself, Ben and a Canadian who is so happy right now. He's got so many medals to talk about that they've won. He feels like it's the Winter Olympics. It's Colin Hilding. Colin, welcome back to Off The Podium.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I know. I mean, it's funny. The event that I was most looking forward to, I kept waiting for them to show, and it got so buried because it was just a bronze medal. I didn't even realise that we medalled in diving until right after Degrass won his silver. So everybody here in the country is losing track of what's going on.

BEN WATERWORTH: It's fascinating to see because I generally will always sort of briefly look at the medal tally. You know, if I wake up, obviously I'm trying to see Australia's results, but then I'll look at Canada's and be like, oh, they only had like 12 yesterday. Now they've got like 18. They've had a pretty busy day. So I'm just looking at the amount that you won today. I mean, it's pretty good. You got a gold, you got silver, you got bronze. I'm sure you've probably got a few fours and fifths in there somewhere too. I mean, national holidays. Is it Penny Alexiak Day yet again tomorrow?

COLIN HILDING: You know, I was just saying to my wife before we went on air here that I think that Canada may have already forgotten about Penny Alexiak. Now that Andre Degrasse is out there, he's pretty much blowing everybody away. And I think it helps that he's got Usain Bolt gazing at it lovingly every time they're on screen together. But yeah, I think now it's Andre Degrasse that the country's moved on to.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. Well, I haven't moved on from Penny. She's listening. You're still up there, Penny. Good job for winning lots of medals.

COLIN HILDING: She's still not legal, Penny.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm looking out for her, all right? She's got to be in the media because, you know, other issues, whatever. Australia won medals too today. We didn't win any gold, sadly, but we got two silvers and a bronze, which we'll take, I guess. We got the silver in the men's 470 in the sailing. And the silver in the 49er category in the sailing. Yay! Matthew Belcher and William Ryan in the 470, and Peter Alderidge and Ian Jensen in the 49er. But you can't really celebrate that in the 49er category, because we lost to a New Zealand pair. So, you know, may as well not have won a medal. And we got a bronze in the men's K2 1000m canoe sprint. I think that was actually the kayak, technically, that one. But whatever. Ken Wallace picked up, I think, that's his third or fourth overall Olympic medal. I think it's his third. He won gold back in Beijing and bronze back in Beijing. And he's still got another event to go as well, so he could have had another medal to that. And Lachlan Tame in his very first Olympics took a bronze with Kenny Wallace there. I'll have to talk about the canoe sprint and the slalom and all that sort of stuff coming up soon. But yes, Canada. Well, you got a gold, as I said. The great sport of wrestling, the women's freestyle, 75 kilogram. Sadly missed that one, Colin. But sure, it was exciting. Erica, is it Weabee? How do you say her name?

COLIN HILDING: Wee-eby. We might call her Wee-eby, though. Wee-eby. Just for the fun of it.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's an I in there, and I don't know. Weeb sounds a bit dweeby.

COLIN HILDING: It's just funny, because like, here in Canada, I mean, it's a Mennonite name. But here in Canada, Weeb is like as common as it gets.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right.

COLIN HILDING: So especially here in Manitoba. So yeah, anybody listening in Manitoba, all three of us, me being one of the three, will be laughing at your Wee-eby.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wee-eby, okay, Weeb, Erika Weeb. Was that a shock? Was she a favourite going into the women's freestyle 75 kilogram category?

COLIN HILDING: Well, she has a profile on Hello My Name Is on Team Canada's website, so she must have at least been favoured in it. Like, the funny thing is, wrestling doesn't often get a lot of coverage on Canadian TV, which is strange because it's something we almost always meddle in. I think, at least going back to the last time that it was a really big deal was in Sydney, and that was probably because the only gold we had in Sydney was Daniel Legally winning for wrestling. And since then, it's something that when somebody does win from Canada, they'll put it all on the TV. I just watched it for the second time in the last five hours here on CBC. They just played it. But I think it's something that every Olympics would go into kind of forgetting, hey, we're actually good at wrestling.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, it's not a surprise that nobody gives a shit about wrestling because it's wrestling. So, you know, unless you're in, like, Kazakhstan or Belarus, you know, it's never shown, even though, like, Japan.

COLIN HILDING: Canada.

BEN WATERWORTH: Canada, sure. Silver medal, obviously, the big one, Andre De Grasse. Silver in the men's 200 metres. I don't know who won that one. I'll have to research that one. I have no idea. And a couple of bronzes as well. You backed up your heptathlon with your decathlon. Damien Warner, bronze there for Canada, obviously. And diving, you finally cracked a diving medal. Megan Benfito, is it? Or is it Wee?

COLIN HILDING: Benfito Benfito.

BEN WATERWORTH: We pronounce it Wee-ep. Yeah, behind the Chinese. So, I mean, yeah, good. A couple of medals there, bronzes and silvers. I guess you're happy you finally got one in the diving and obviously DeGrasse, not a big surprise. And, well, yeah, Warner, I mean, he likes to compete in ten events.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, Warner was one of the few guys that CBC was really pumping up a lot throughout the last couple of weeks. And it was really supposed to be kind of a race between him and Ashton Eaton, who's married, of course, to Brian Tyson Eaton. He was famously ridiculed for cheering his wife on because it was anti-American, apparently. But she was in the stands cheering from the whole time, and that's probably why Damian Warner slipped all the way down to the bronze position. But still, to get a medal, it's fantastic. And the diving is the big surprise to me, and I don't know if it's just that I was kind of defeated after several fourth place finishes in diving. I think more than anything, I'm surprised that it was Ben Fetto that won the bronze, just because the synchronised duo, her and Rosalind Fillian, Rosalind Fillian is the one I think who was the favourite to medal in this. So it was kind of just a reversal there. I was surprised even in the semifinals yesterday to see that Ben Fetto was ranked a bit higher. But yeah, all around, I think it is André de Grasse's day, and it's funny because you could win a gold in any event, and André de Grasse winning silver to Usain Bolt is bigger than any gold we could ever win. It's just been hilarious the last couple days. I wish that I could have been on yesterday just talking about how hilarious it was to watch Usain Bolt and André de Grasse man crushing on each other, their bromance at the finish line. I mean, in a way, I think it's exciting just because this is showing people that the sport can still be fun and that it's not so super competitive and so super negative. But André de Grasse is pretty much officially the hero of everybody in this country right now, I think.

BEN WATERWORTH: Was he dared to go up close to Usain Bolt right at the end there? You know, dared to win the silver?

COLIN HILDING: He was dared to smile. And Bolt was dared to smile back.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right, right. Okay, then. Well, obviously, we're going to talk about a certain U-Bolt very, very shortly. We'll get to that. But just as we always do, kind of going over a few of the other non-medal results, these get a little bit lesser and lesser, I guess, as we get closer and closer to the end, because generally the sport at the end of Australia does nothing in. In the athletics, good news for Australia. No, we didn't get a silver medal beside Usain Bolt, but we have our first ever athlete in the 1500m final in 40 years. Ryan Gregson has made the 1500m final. See, small things in Australia, Colin. We might not have the second fastest man in the world, but we've got a man who can run 1500m well enough to make the final. So good on you, Ryan Gregson. He finished third in his semi-final and the eighth fastest time across the two semis, hence why he made the final. Cedric Dubler. Well, look, he didn't win a bronze in the decathlon, but he was 14th, and we're proud of that in Australia. We don't need a medal to know that we're good at ten events. Damien Birkenhead. Oh, I see he's known here. The Corio Colossus finished 10th in the final of the men's shot put, which I actually was watching some of that. That was quite a fascinating sport, the shot put. Catherine Mitchell. She was sixth in the women's javelins. That was good for you there, Catherine. And in the high jump, which we're talking a lot about today because it's my new favourite sport, Eleanor Patterson sadly did not make the final, but I will be there, Eleanor, in Rio in a car waiting to pick you up to help you cry because I think you need a cuddle.

COLIN HILDING: Not creepy at all.

BEN WATERWORTH: Not at all. Both Sam Willoughby and Anthony Dean are into the semi-finals. Made it through the quarters. Good job for them. And our third competitor, Bodie Turner, sadly did not make it through. As we mentioned, the Canoe Kayak, Ken Wallace and Lachlan Tame got a medal in that one. Daniel Bowker and Jordan Wood were in the B Final of the K2 200m. They finished third, so 11th overall there. In our diving, again, we don't need a medal. We're happy with fifth. Melissa Wu, she was fifth in that one. I saw the semis. I didn't see the finals. But from what I heard, we apparently, she was kind of in with a bit of a shot with the bronze. I don't know. Did you pay any attention to Melissa Wu?

COLIN HILDING: No. She was off my radar today. I'm sorry to say.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's all right. Brittany O'Brien didn't make the final. She was 15th in the semi. But again, I will be happily there, Brittany, to pick you up to make sure that you have a cuddle. In the golf, Minji Lee hit a four under par 67 in the second round, and she's just four shots behind the leader Imbee Park with only two more rounds to go. I'm excited. Modern Pentathlon is underway. And our lady that we sent one a message yesterday, Chloe Esposito, 13th at the moment, 19 victories and 16 defeats. What a great sport that you can lose and you can still be in it. And Max Esposito, again, I think we're pretty sure they're cousins. 19th, he is at the moment with 13 victories and 22 defeats. Sailing, we mentioned we got a couple of silvers there. We don't need to talk much about that. Synchronised swimming, in the team event, we're currently in eighth. That's decent. It's probably only eight teams in the competition, I'm guessing. But, you know, that looks good on a resume. Australia, eighth in synchronised swimming. Taekwondo.

COLIN HILDING: I don't think I'm in it anymore. I mean, not me specifically, but Canada.

BEN WATERWORTH: I saw you there, Colin, on the coverage. Olympic debutante in the Taekwondo, Carolyn Merton, went down to Swedish fighter Nikita Glasnovich in the 57 kilogram division, sad news there for Carolyn. And in the triathlon, I watched this pretty much from start to finish. And we had two top finishes, top ten finishes. Alistair Brownlee won that for Great Britain, but Aaron Royal was ninth, and Ryan Bailey in tenth. So that was decent, the triathlon. It's a fun sport to watch. And I mean, I think there's still a few others here, according to what I know, that we had... No, we didn't. Never mind. I'm thinking of something else. Shut up, Ben. Colin, how did Canada go besides winning every medal in the world?

COLIN HILDING: Well, of course, Damian Warner in the decathlon, that was the majority of what was going on today, just because the event takes all day. But yeah, he was second, third, flipping back and forth, ended up in third bronze position. I was interested to see if you knew about the Canadian in the woman's high jumping, because when you were going on and on about it earlier today, I was hoping we would have had it on TV, but they didn't show it at all. So the Canadian apparently finished in 14th place. Alexandria Treasure. Was she a treasure to you?

BEN WATERWORTH: I can honestly say I didn't see her. I'm about to Google her now. Out of all the ones they showed, I don't think I got the pleasure of seeing the treasure. If I just quickly have a look right now, if I've Google imaged her, if it will work for me, come back to me. I'll let you know.

COLIN HILDING: We will return. So, yeah, the woman's high jump, that's where we were. Okay. We did qualify for both the men's and the women's 4x100 relays. In the semifinals, we failed to advance in the men's 1500 metre, Nathan Brennan and Charles Tibetot, I think the way we're pronouncing. This is like the most elegant name ever. His full name Charles Filibert Tibetot sounds like someone's made it up.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm just going to call you Charles Fliberto Tibetob.

COLIN HILDING: Sounds like somebody that should be like an old British movie or Downton Abbey or something like that. But thankfully in the women's 800 metre, Melissa Bishop is moving on to the finals. She was second in her semifinal. Thank God. Yeah. The great Torrey Nyhawg is through the quarterfinals in the BMX, men's individual BMX. That's an event like I don't know why this is something that's not on TV because this is like exciting. We talk about how they need to bring more extreme sports into it. They need to bring more X Games into it. And this is not even on TV. And here the great Torrey Nyhawg is through the quarterfinals and I didn't see any of it on TV.

BEN WATERWORTH: We get blanket coverage. I love it here in Australia. I am a fan. It's great.

COLIN HILDING: It's BMX and sailing back to back all over 7 and 7.

BEN WATERWORTH: The excitement between triathlon BMX and sailing. I mean, I nearly lost my shit. And only one of them was excited.

COLIN HILDING: Of course, André de Grasse, silver medallist in the men's 200 metre. That's the most exciting story just because a year ago, nobody knew who this guy was. And being in Canada and following him for the last year of the World Championships, Pan Am Games, it literally has been a guy who's come out of nowhere. And now he's, as you said, second fastest in the world. I am really disappointed that Australia, did you medal in the canoe or kayak?

BEN WATERWORTH: We got a bronze.

COLIN HILDING: In which one?

BEN WATERWORTH: The one with two people, K2 1000 metres, the one where you sit down.

COLIN HILDING: Okay, because I was going to say if we lost in Australia, that would be embarrassing. But the fact that rowing and kayaking canoe has just been completely empty for Canada, these Olympics is a total shame to us. Well, I guess at the same time, we've traded off for swimming. But Ryan Cochran and Hugues Fornell, they finished eighth in the K2 200 metres.

BEN WATERWORTH: Ryan Cochran isn't he a 1500 metres swimmer?

COLIN HILDING: I think it's a different Ryan Cochran.

BEN WATERWORTH: I was going to say, he's a man of many trades. I swam the 1500 metres. I was getting a boat now and I'll just paddle a bit.

COLIN HILDING: There's only so many things you can do. The summer is so short, you don't want to waste any of it in Canada. So Ryan Cochran is probably going to be out there on the balance beam and the rhythmic gymnastics. And he's riding lady, fine lady number six right now in the Equestrian. So he'll be all over. He's got more chance for medals. Diving, Megan Benfetto won the bronze, Rosaline Fillian ended up in sixth place. So that's the 10 metre platform. Golf, we're doing pretty good with one of our golfers, Elena Sharpe's in 32nd right now. But Brooke Henderson is in third place after what is this, day two. So nine more days to go. I guess, you know more about the Monarch and Pentathlon fencing. Is that the only event that's gone so far?

BEN WATERWORTH: I think they've had at least, they surely would have had to at least half of them by now. I mean, it's a three day event, so okay, maybe two of them at least. Yeah, get back to me.

COLIN HILDING: All right, well, Mellie McCann is third in the fencing round and Donna Vakulis was fourth in the fencing round. And in the triathlon, Tyler Mislechuk, he was the one that there was a little bit more hope behind. He finished in 15th place. And of course in wrestling, we had several wrestlers out today. The one who was the big story was of course, Eric Aweeb who did win the gold. Our lone gold of the day, but as I said earlier, I'll mention it again, Andre Degrasse winning a silver, it is as good as a gold, cause he won it right next to Usain Bolt.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, and that's always a gold basically. You know, that's just, it's just how it is. Like, you know, you're not going to win. So the next best person essentially is going to be the gold medallist. And do you feel as though that you're guaranteed a gold now in four years time? Is he going to take the double, double, well, the single double, he's only going to have done it first time, but will he take the double in four years time?

COLIN HILDING: You know, four years is a long time. And the interesting thing is in sprinting, it's a very short shelf life compared to other sports. You could have swimmers out there in three, four Olympics. And it's usually surprising if somebody can pull off success to Olympics in a role like Bolt has. But at the same time, the majority of the other competitors in both one and 200 metres are sprinters who are kind of nearing the end of their career. DeGrasse being a guy who's 21 years old, I don't even think he's 22 yet. I think that he could be the favourite going into Tokyo, and then definitely the favourite going into Flintlawn in 2028.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I want to talk about Bolt. We've got to talk about Bolt. But yeah, just quickly fencing. It was only fencing. It was the ranking round of fencing, everyone's favourite day of fencing in modern pentathlon. So tomorrow we're going to have the swimming, more fencing, the jumping, and my favourite, the run and shoot. Sounds like an average Saturday night in most suburbs of America. And so that's all the women tomorrow. I love how they're combining it, the run and shoot. Like, can't they combine it all? Like, you've got to swim with a sword in your hand, then as you get out of the pool, you jump on a horse while shooting, and then, like at the end, you've got to sprint to the finish or something like that. Like, it's done in like half an hour, simple. That's how you make modern pentathlon.

COLIN HILDING: Didn't we report earlier in one of our episodes about the upcoming sport for Tokyo, the triple jump archery? I thought that was one of the ones that was...

BEN WATERWORTH: See, this is what they've got to do. They've got to listen to us more, the IOC. Come on, Thomas Bach. Just stop making pools green and handing out little shit figurines, and listen to us. But yes, I guess a little athlete, somebody who's going to be big in the future, Usain Bolt, it's always going to be the talk when he's in it, but he pulled it off again, 200 metres, he's become the first man, woman, or child in the history of the world to win. Or horse. Or horse. I don't know, I haven't seen the horse Olympics lately. The double, three, the triple double, which is amazing, and he looked actually disappointed when he won, because I think he was disappointed with his time, but blame DeGrasse, because he made him run a bit fast yesterday, but what can we say that we haven't said the other day? I mean, here he is, the greatest human being to ever be a human being. He's got eight gold medals now in total, which is what, a quarter of Michael Phelps', but we've been over this 101 times. Yeah, I mean, this is sad. It's his last individual Olympic event, apparently. But yeah, this is the man. This is Bolt.

COLIN HILDING: You know, it's funny because we said a couple of days ago, we were talking about Bolt's own statement about does the sport need Usain Bolt to win? And it's almost a little bit scary now, thinking about what will 2020 be like without Bolt. Obviously, a lot of these amateur sports are, they're kind of under scrutiny right now, you know, for doping and everything like that, and poor sportsmanship, and vandalism of washrooms, disguised as armed robberies. But to have an athlete that just everybody can get behind, I mean, I don't know if we'll ever have something like this again. You look back on some of the athletes from history that have been, you know, I guess, very well regarded. You think of somebody like Jesse Owens. I mean, it took a long time for many countries to come around to a guy like Jesse Owens. I don't think anybody can say anything bad about, I was going to say Andre Degrasse, him too, but nobody can say anything wrong about Usain Bolt. And the fact is, they're still interviewing right now on CBC. The stands are empty, and he's there doing interviews, and they were talking about this on TV right before the event, that after the semifinals the other day, he was there until 1.30 in the morning in the stadium interviewing. And this is a guy who's dedicated to the sport, he's dedicated to the fans, and he has more fun than any athlete I've ever seen. It's so sad that we will probably never get to see him in the Olympics again. But it just means really look forward to the World Championships next year.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I think that because Channel 7 being Channel 7, turning it all Australia-based, because obviously the next Commonwealth Games are in Australia in 2018, and of course they're all like, oh, we're going to try and start to get him out here to the Gold Coast in 2018. He loves Australia, he honestly does. He always comes out here on holidays, I think, in the summer. I don't know, does CBC always? I mean, I'm guessing they get an interview with him, since he obviously does interviews with every TV station there if he's there until 1 o'clock. But the Channel 7 guy...

COLIN HILDING: They just finished.

BEN WATERWORTH: Alright, there you go.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, like right now, he just finished interviewing on CBC.

BEN WATERWORTH: Right, well, yeah, the Channel 7 guy always seems to get him and has a bit of a jovial chat with him. It was fun actually seeing this one, because he's basically come out and he's all like, yes, I told you all I was the greatest. You know, like as you were saying, similar to Muhammad Ali. And he was basically saying that, like, everybody's getting old, and he's like, I'm too old to catch up with these kids now, and I've already proven I'm the best or something like that. Like, he's just so good. But yeah, I mean, it'll be interesting to see if they could somehow get him out to the Commonwealth Games. I think the Commonwealth Games is a bit below Usain Bolt. Didn't he run the relay in Glasgow? I think that's the only time he's been to the Commonwealth Games, isn't it?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, well, I mean, I'm sure years back, he competed in the Junior Goodwill Games or something like that.

BEN WATERWORTH: As everybody should. Yeah, I'm just looking here. So he's only ever won one gold at the Commonwealth Games, and that was in Glasgow in the relay. So, like, I guess kind of when he probably looks a lot...

COLIN HILDING: You have something to prove, Bolt. Come on.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I guess if you want to be technical, I mean, he's, you know, DeGrasse is Canadian. He's in the Commonwealth Games, so come Gold Coast, that actually would be a good race. But I guess before that, he's only running up against, like, people from Fiji and Australia. So he's not exactly going to be challenged. But yeah, it's sad to think that we're not going to see him anymore. I mean, I guess kind of we feel that it's not like Phelps, so there probably is a chance that Phelps will come back for Tokyo and still win, whereas, you know, I mean, in a way, we kind of... I think it probably would be good that he doesn't come back, because, I mean, wouldn't it be sad if he decided to come back to Tokyo and he didn't win? I mean, that would just be terrible.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and that was the reason why this whole Olympics, as excited as I was for De Grasse, and he really was an underdog going in. I wasn't even totally sure if De Grasse could pull something like this off. He was untested. But as much as I was behind him, every race that he has, I'm watching, kind of hoping that Bolt still wins. Just because to have an athlete like this that can really go out in his prime, I mean, it's unheard of. I don't even think Phelps can ever say he went out in his prime because he had that slump, if you want to call it, the slump in London. But in Phelps' mind, it was a slump. And I think Bolt, that's what's most important to him, is his own legacy, and I think he's done something now where he can be proud and guaranteed that he's going out as the best. I think he also was, you could tell today, he was pushing a little bit harder in that 200-metre final. I mean, you wouldn't know it from his time, but compared to what we saw in Beijing and London, I'm not saying he's losing it at all, but age will eventually catch up with him. And I don't think Bolt's the type of guy who wants to have any question in his mind whether he's going to win or not.

BEN WATERWORTH: And I can imagine if DeGrasse had have won, you probably would have come on here and gone, oh, Canada won a fucking second gold today. I'm disappointed. Bolt got beaten. Just quickly, with Canada, your fourth gold medal, that's pretty cool. And I'm just looking here. This is your most gold medals you've won at an Olympics since Barcelona. And if I'm looking at this quickly enough, it's, I think, only the fourth or fifth time in your history you've ever won four or more gold medals at a Summer Olympics. So, you know, doing well.

COLIN HILDING: You know, it's just history all over the place. It's amazing watching CBC and before every, or not before, because they don't like to jinx themselves after the embarrassment it was Athens, which I bring up quite a bit. But yeah, there's just, there's no, there's no talk before an event starts, but as soon as one's over, they have the facts right there on screen about how history-making it was. You know, the fact that De Grasse has meddled in both the one and 200 metres, they immediately showed that there was only three times in history that that's ever happened now to even medal. We're not even talking about, you know, gold. There's only one who actually won the gold in both one and 200 metre, and that was 1928. So really the last time that a Canadian pulled something like this off was like 90 years ago. So André de Grasse doing this at this age, it's incredible. And that's what I love about this Olympics for Canada so far is that we have so many of these big moments like Derek Druin, you know, with the high jump, these long gaps where it's been so long since Canada's really had success. And now out of nowhere, it's sort of all looking up for Canada.

BEN WATERWORTH: As it should, you know, it's long overdue. You know you're going to choke at the Winter Olympics. Now Australia's going to do well in Korea in like 18 months. So, sorry Canada. What else happened today in terms of big news events outside of us? New Zealand won a bunch. They won a gold. Boo, they beat Australia. But I think they won two silvers and two bronzes. Jesus, calm down New Zealand. Two bronzes, two silvers and a gold. Even again, when Canada... Whenever Canada turns around and tries to get the elusive gold to take them ahead of the sheep shaggers, New Zealand just have to go out and do it again. This is war. We talked yesterday about Germany and Brazil about to enter a war. I think this is more New Zealand and Canada about to enter a war.

COLIN HILDING: You know, we challenge you to a 75 kg women's wrestling match, and then we will see who is boss.

BEN WATERWORTH: Or wrestling, what's that involved? But I mean, in all fairness, at least Canada and Australia spread out our medals. New Zealand wins medals in like sailing and rowing and canoe. That's about it. So, you know, spread your sports out New Zealand. Although they did win a bronze in the athletics, but whatever. It's shot put. It doesn't count. It's not a real sport. So, what else have we got today? We will just go through the medal, the winners. America did very well in the athletics today. Very well in the athletics today. They basically won everything except for the 200 metres and the javelin. So, Karen Clement won the men's 400 metre hurdles. I love how they don't run the 410 metre hurdles like they do with 110 metre hurdles.

COLIN HILDING: I have an answer for that. I do have an answer. Why? What happens? Well, I'm going to do more research, but this would be... It just came to me. I'm brilliant like that. But pure speculation. Obviously, there's a height difference between men and women, even just on an average height, and they would have to have the same amount of hurdles that they're jumping, but based on the stride length, it would take men about 10 metres longer to jump over the same amount of hurdles that the women would jump over in 100. So that would be my guess why it's 10 metres longer.

BEN WATERWORTH: So basically, the Athletics Federation is sexist because I don't think women can stride as fast as men. I don't know.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I've got a comment on that whenever you're ready. Oh, I'm ready.

BEN WATERWORTH: I'm born ready. Give it to me.

COLIN HILDING: So I've been waiting to bring this up for a couple of days. I've been watching the boxing, and I noticed when it started that there was no headgear, which I don't know if you followed boxing much in the Olympics or not.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, I love it.

COLIN HILDING: But it's the first time I have ever seen it without headgear, and I again looked it up and realised this is something they decided to do away with. For the first time, I don't know in how long, that there's no more protective headgear for boxing. Now, this is when the men's boxing was going on. The reason that they said, and I've heard this multiple times, read it and heard it commented on air, is that new studies have shown that you're actually more prone to concussions and head injuries if you wear the headgear than you are without. Now, funny enough, the women are still wearing the headgear. These scientific studies have discovered, no, they're in jeopardy of real brain trauma if they wear the headgear. Let the women keep it on.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow.

COLIN HILDING: Guys, you gotta take it off.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow. So they're basically saying that women you deserve to get concussion, and men don't? I don't know.

COLIN HILDING: I think ultimately it comes down to guys just think they're too cool to wear it.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, that's a bit of a student.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I don't know if they really are.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, if that's research, so does that mean then, like, you know, in American football? Like, take it off. Car racing. Oh, if you have a massive crash, you know, it's fine. You'll be fine. You're wearing a helmet. You'll get worse injuries. Cycling. Oh, no. Don't need it. Like, is that the logic?

COLIN HILDING: It's even more surprising because this is a sport where they don't have a bronze medal fight because it's too much. They don't want to put fighters through an unnecessary risk. So they award two bronze medals in every event. But you have to, like, take off the head gear. It's all right. But keep it on, women. One of you is going to get hurt. We just... This is part of the scientific study. That's what it is. It is time to decide, once and for all, if head gear causes brain trauma. It's men versus women.

BEN WATERWORTH: I really wish that they would do that in a lot of other sports. Like, oh, we can't... Like, imagine how quick sailing would be over if it was like, you know, just like, oh, whatever. You know, you're going to just... Two bronzes. Like, in all these sports, we have discovered have repa charges and just like, you know, battle for fifth to eighth place. Like, no one gives a crap. Like, just do the boxing mode of things. Like, eh, get to the semis. Everyone gets a bronze except for the two winners. Like, you know, everyone in the entire field gets a bronze. Why not? Anyway, what are we up to? Oh, so yeah, the shot put. Oh, don't we love it. Ryan Krauser for the US in an Olympic record, if you don't mind. The men's decathlon, as you said, Ashton Eaton, an Olympic record for the USA. The women's 400 hurdles. Delilah Muhammad, she took that one out. Not an Olympic record. And the javelin, that went to Croatia. Sara Kolak, gold there. Badminton, women's doubles to Japan. Masaki Matsutomo and Ayaka Takashi, gold there.

COLIN HILDING: Boxing, you can pronounce Japanese names better than you can pronounce Erika Weeb.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, Japan's closer to Australia than Canada is. So, you know, whatever. I'm practicing for Tokyo, all right. A little bit away. Men's light heavyweight in the boxing, Julia Cezar-LaCruz for Cuba, gold. Defeated the great Kazakhstanian boxer. Here's a name to try and pronounce. Adilbek Niyazimbetov. Actually, it wasn't that hard. So, yep. Canoeing, the men's C1 200 metres. Now, I've every day gone, wow, that's a short race. I can see why it's short. I forgot, this is the kneel down one. That's a sight to be seen. Men kneeling down in a boat, sprinting hard for 200 metres. It was actually a really fun event. Yuri Chaban from Ukraine, gold there. The men's K2 200 metres, Spain, Sol Cravioto and Christian Toro, gold. Men's K2 1000, Australia got the bronze. Germany took the gold there. Markus Gross and Max Reinschmidt, so German, love it. And the women's K1 500 metres, well, they weren't happy about it. Hungary, Danuta Kozak winning the gold there. Diving, well, China won, you know that was gonna happen. Ren Quan, the 10 metre platform. Field hockey, we talked about this the other day. Argentina took the gold. No, I'm not gonna read out every single one of the Argentinian players' names, but there's a few of them. They won the gold medal. Sailing, Croatia, men's 470, beat Australia, Sime, Fantela and Igor Marinic. Women's 470, Great Britain, Hannah Mills, Saskia Clark, 49er, as I said, New Zealand. They can't even get the number correct. Oh, what a bit of 69er, bro. Peter Berling and Blair Chuuk for New Zealand. And the 49er, FX. That's like the one for the kiddies. The exciting race. Brazil, the host nation, they beat New Zealand. Yay, Martín Grau and Kahina Kunz. Gold for Brazil, Taekwondo, men's 68 kilogram, Jordan Ahmed Abguhush, gold for Jordan, which I, if I'm not mistaken, might be Jordan's first ever Olympic gold medal. Yes, it was. Congratulations, Jordan.

COLIN HILDING: As long as I've been following them, it is.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, I can't remember them winning one. And Jade Jones from Great Britain won the women's 57 kilogram triathlon. It was the Brownlee double, the Brits, the brothers, Alistair Brownlee gold there. The men's beach volleyball is, I think, on right now, so we don't have a result for that at the time of recording, unless Colin's got it in the background there, perhaps. I don't know. The wrestling, women's freestyle, 53 kilogram Helen Marulis from USA gold. Japan, continuing their dominance. They love their wrestling in Japan. Rosako Kawai, 63 kilogram freestyle, women's, and as we said, Erika Wiebe, the 75 kilogram for Canada. So we've only got the beach volleyball going on right now, and probably Brazil versus Germany. I don't know. But the medal tally, so as I said, Jordan won their first gold. I don't think we really mentioned that Bahrain also at one point this week won their very first Olympic gold medal. Sorry Bahrain, we do love you. But the top five, USA well out in top. They've won their 100th medal in total now. 35 gold, 33 silver, 32 bronze. Britain still on second after not winning any medals yesterday. They bounced back with a couple of gold, still holding off the Chinese. China at third, Germany fourth, Russia in fifth. Australia in tenth, still hanging on by basis of silver. We're tied on gold with South Korea and those unfunny Hungarians. 7 gold, 10 silver, 10 bronze, 27 in total. If you were to reorganize it by total medals, we're in about like ninth. So, I'm not really that in prune. But Canada's a lot higher up the middle, tell if you do it by total. Canada, you are in 19th place, with 4 gold, 3 silver and 11 bronze. And New Zealand are in 16th place. Thank God for Usain Bolt winning another gold, because Jamaica have just gone ahead of New Zealand. 4 gold for New Zealand, 8 silver, 3 bronze. And Host Nation Brazil are just behind New Zealand. 4 gold, 5 silver, 5 bronze. So, they're catching up on those golds. Go on New Brazil. That's the medals. Just quickly before we go to what do we watch, we always got to do the other news of the day. This kind of seems like a trend all of a sudden, is the fact that we talk about Usain Bolt for a long time, and then we talk about Ryan Lochte, as I think they're calling him. Ryan Lochte, I should say. I love that headline. We talked about this the other day, the fact that he got held up by Gunpoint, and oh, poor Ryan. It takes him four to six weeks to get over it. It takes him four to six weeks to realise that he's lying. This is all bullshit. He's lying about this. They went and trashed a gas station and claimed that they got held up. What the hell? Ryan Lochte, what's going on here?

COLIN HILDING: And they were video doing it. Did they not look around? Oh, there's a camera there. Nobody will bother to look at the footage.

BEN WATERWORTH: This guy's on a reality TV show. You think he'd be used to cameras and he's like, what's that over there? Oh, a camera.

COLIN HILDING: It's funny because when I first saw this story posted, everywhere it was posted, I just kept saying, you know, it's Ryan Lochte, so how much of this is true, you have to really take a look at it. I mean, I'm a guy with a grain of salt. When you read Ryan Lochte's account, I mean, going back to day one, even when I thought this story is probably real, but Ryan Lochte's exaggerative, Ryan Lochte's account of this was, they get held up at gunpoint, all of his friends drop to the ground, and he says, I'm not getting down, and which they pulled a gun on him, and his words were, whatever. Like, this was Ryan Lochte's telling of the story, people. How are we surprised that this turned out to be the most fabricated thing in history?

BEN WATERWORTH: It's just so fascinating, because, like, I mean, why? Why did they trash a gas station in the first place? Like, what's the purpose? Oh, bro, let's, like, go to a Brazilian gas station and trash it, because we're cool.

COLIN HILDING: Look, all of these people have been trying to play the story for a week that, you know, Rio is this terrible place, and look at how bad it is and how dangerous it is for the athletes. And in all honesty, the athletes are the ones endangering the Brazilians here.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. It's like nothing, except for a green pool, nothing's really happened. Touch wood, it stays that way. It's good. But Ryan Lochte is the most dangerous thing that's happened to these Olympics. I think I saw...

COLIN HILDING: Hey, you know, just getting serious for a second, Ryan Lochte really is dangerous to the Olympics. I mean, this is not the type of publicity you want for athletes. You know, when you're dealing with what's going on with Russia right now, when you're dealing with a lot of the stuff, like we even talk about Justin Gatlin and some of the stuff that's followed him around, do you want somebody out there ruining the reputation? He's one of the most high-profile athletes in the world, for better or worse. I mean, you could say both. Success-wise, for the better, for worse, because his public reputation, as it is, was terrible before this. But this is just an all-new low for the Olympics, and it's all Ryan Lochte's fault.

BEN WATERWORTH: I have to say, we like to rip into news.com.au for their great journalism. I've just found here a headline from the Sydney Morning Herald, a very esteemed newspaper here in Australia. It opens up with the exact sentence, Ryan Lochte is the dumbest bell that ever rang. I'm guessing this is an opinion piece. I'm hoping it's an opinion piece, otherwise the Sydney Morning Herald really has gone downhill since the last time I checked it.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I've been checking Ryan Lochte's Twitter throughout the day. Most of it is him retweeting, because he was going to be on NBC tonight talking about this, and I recorded it. It was probably on an hour ago. I don't know if he's denying it still or whatever. It's going to be funny to watch regardless. But the only thing he didn't tweet in regards to his appearance on TV coming up was he retweeted, Rachel for Trump.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, that explains a bit.

COLIN HILDING: It says, Rachel for Trump, if you are not a Trump supporter or a Christian or animal lover, I won't follow you. Sorry, Jesus is my Savior. Do not add me to a list. She said, I am from Brazil and I believe Ryan. I was robbed in the bus. Drivers are working with robbers. And Ryan Lochte retweeted that. That was the only thing he retweeted all day.

BEN WATERWORTH: She was probably just somebody he hooked up with that night after he trashed the gas station.

COLIN HILDING: Well, I don't know if you read it, but that was the original report, and maybe there is some truth to this too, is that he was out, you know, doing whatever, and his girlfriend was wondering where have you been all night when he's checking in at four in the morning, and he made up this story, and then it escalated from there. That's one of the stories that was out there. Maybe Rachel for Trump was the reason Ryan Lochte was trashing a men's room or something. I don't know.

BEN WATERWORTH: But remember Colin, he's a man in the evening, and a man when he gets up in the morning, even when he trashes a gas station.

COLIN HILDING: The only reason he can claim that is because he doesn't go to bed at night. He's out committing vandalism crimes.

BEN WATERWORTH: So this article, just quickly, so this is Sally Jenkins on the Sydney Morning Herald. The headline is, Ryan Lochte, a champion swimmer caught in a riptide of self-absorption. Clearly she's a fan of the reality show. Ryan Lochte is the dumbest bill that ever rang. The 32 year old swimmer is so landlocked in juvenility that he pulled an all nighter with guys young enough to call him uncle. His story to NBC's Billy Bush had the quality of kid exaggerating the size of a fish, and notice how he was the hero of every detail. That was always the most dubious implausible part. There's a special category of a noxious American bro that Lochte represents in his t-shirt and jeans and expensive suede footwear, which he showed off on Instagram that night at the party along with a price tag where 6k DP he captioned it. I love the fact that this Sally Jenkins is really digging into the Americans all of a sudden. It's just one guy, Sally. Calm down.

COLIN HILDING: Well, is it really? I mean, here's the thing. There is something about, and I'm not going to say this for America all around, but there's something about the coldness of male American sprinters, and there's something about the arrogance of male American swimmers that really is a turnoff. And I've talked to people from other countries who have said the same thing, and I don't hold the grudging as the female athletes in those sports or male athletes in any other sports, but there's just this stigma about male swimmers. They're just completely self-absorbed and arrogant.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I have to kind of chime in here and should mention a little bit of other news that you probably wouldn't have gotten over in Canada, but there actually are a couple of Australians in a bit of trouble too for some nighttime activities, and they happen to be swimmers. One of them actually happens to be female too. No, it's not predomously. I didn't manage to go over there and get her a little bit too excited. So Emma McKeon and Josh Palmer have both been banned from the closing ceremony for breaking curfew. Now, Emma McKeon apparently went out clubbing in Rio on Tuesday night, had a bit too much to drink, went out a little bit too late, and then ended up staying with a friend rather than checking back in with the Australian Olympic Committee and going back to the village. She didn't tell them where she was, so they're going, oh, naughty, Emma, you know. And she's come out like, oh, I didn't know, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah. But from what I'm hearing of Josh Palmer, he went out and got a little bit too plastered. He apparently did get robbed, although I'm guessing it's gonna come out in about a day or two that he actually held up a gas station or something, and was found disorientated and passed out on Copacabana Beach the next morning. So he was hanging out with Ryan Lochte, I feel, that night. But yeah, as an Australian, we're not innocent, so.

COLIN HILDING: Or was he the guy chasing them out of the gas station?

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. I think it's funny, that's their punishment. You are banned from the closing ceremony. I mean, I get it, you know, but still.

COLIN HILDING: I don't know, I just think it's funny that different countries have their failings. If Australians get in trouble, it's because they're breaking curfew. If Americans get in trouble, it's because they're falsely reporting crimes and the threat of being indicted by Brazilian authorities. And Canadians, it's usually steroids, but we all have our own things that we're famous for, I guess.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, exactly. We'll just wait for, you know, Andre de Grasse. Oh, steroids. Wouldn't that be a shame? No, no, we don't want that.

COLIN HILDING: Never, Andre de Grasse.

BEN WATERWORTH: Never, never. All right, well, Ryan Lochte. That's the headline of the Olympics. I mean, it's not the biggest stretch. I mean, it's kind of easy to put it out there, but there was a headline. I can't remember what it is. I saw it this morning on TV. The New York Post had like a big photo of Ryan Lochte on it with like a really like mean headline on it. I can't remember what it was, but yeah, it's Ryan Lochte, you know, whatever. We're not losing any sleep over it. All right. What did you watch? We've talked about what you watched. Again, anything specific you want to cover with this?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, well, I mean, the 400 metre hurdles, that was fantastic. I like hurdles, but I prefer it if it's a longer race, whereas with, you know, running, I prefer the shorter races. I was glued to women's volleyball today as long as I could watch it, and I was hoping I'd come home and have some of it recorded, but I haven't found any of it yet, so that's unfortunate. And I actually spent a lot of the evening basically between whenever I'd catch up to the decathlon recaps and waiting for DeGrasse and Bolt to come up. It was basically taekwondo all night. That's my original sport. I was trying to show my three-month-old son, and he still is way more interested in Andre DeGrasse, Usain Bolt, and Emily Overholt than to watch something that I almost competed in, kind of, in a way, in the Olympics.

BEN WATERWORTH: Does Canada have a good track record in the taekwondo, or is it not good because you never competed?

COLIN HILDING: Uh, I'm going to say it's not good because of it. If they had me in there, I would be the Usain Bolt of taekwondo right now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, I can imagine. I mean, that's exactly what I picture you as being. Yeah, well, I was glued to the athletics, mainly the women's high jump. Perhaps we'll get to that in the next category. That's a fun sport to watch. I like the women's high jump. Perhaps we'll get to that in the next category. But the shot put, I mean, it's fascinating because they were cutting between the shot put and the high jump. So here you got the women's high jump, like these sleek, beautiful women, so agile and fit and ready for battle. You cut to the men's shot put. Like, you know, no disrespect. That's probably the one sport I could probably compete in is the men's shot put. But they were talking, the commentators were talking about it. I think the other guy that's a field is Drew, I think his name is. But...

COLIN HILDING: Just Drew.

BEN WATERWORTH: Just Drew, he's like Madonna. Is he from...

COLIN HILDING: Like soon he's gonna be known as the announcer formerly known as Drew?

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, he'll just be a symbol. But it's like the way they're like talking about it, they're like, oh, you look out for the shot putters coming back to the village tonight. They'll be smashing a few Big Macs in the Olympic Village to this evening. You won't see them in the gym. But I'm trying to work it out. I mean, I guess I get it, how you would need to be, I guess, muscular and strong for the shot putter, like lots of upper body strength and that. I don't get why you need to be a fatty. I mean, why are there so many fat people in the shot put? I don't get it. Just be strong in the upper body. You don't need to be fat as well.

COLIN HILDING: Are they fat or are they husky?

BEN WATERWORTH: Some of them were fat. Let's be honest, they were fat. And as a fat man myself, again, these are my people. I'm allowed to talk them up. And I'm not being disrespectful. I'm just talking about one of my own. But it's great to see because there was that headline last week with that Ethiopian swimmer who was a bit pudgy, and then news.com.au were like, why is this guy on the Olympics? Ethiopian.

COLIN HILDING: If you get a pudgy Ethiopian, applaud the man.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. I don't know, why are they fat and shot put?

COLIN HILDING: Does it help them? I mean, they spin in that. So maybe the more weight when they spin, they get more momentum built up.

BEN WATERWORTH: Possibly. I love a sport where literally you don't really have to spin. You can just stand, take two steps and throw something. That's the involvement of their Olympic sport. And then clearly they go back and chow down on a few Big Macs. You know, I mean, I get it though. Shot puts down exactly the lightest and they're throwing it like fricking what? 60 metres or maybe not that long, 20 metres. 60 metres would be pretty good. But I mean, that's a fair throw for something that heavy. But I don't know. I don't know if I can respect a sport that basically involves throwing a giant ball with by a fat person. I don't know.

COLIN HILDING: Well, you will never watch bowling in 2020 or 2024 or 2028.

BEN WATERWORTH: Good on the shot putters for doing that. Yes. I watched the triathlon. I basically watched that from start to finish. Now, I generally enjoy the triathlon. It's okay. But this one, they kind of, they started on the beach and they had to jump through the waves and it got a bit argy bargy there. And they swim for like 1500 metres, then they're on the bike, then they're on the running. I mean, it's a tough sport. I can imagine that doing a triathlon is very difficult. But I mean, again, TV friendly, not really. It's not exactly the most exciting thing because the same two guys are winning the whole bit. And then basically the winner of it was one of the Brownlee brothers. He essentially was so far ahead at the end, like of his brother, that he basically just stopped and walked across the line. Like he grabbed a flag, a British flag from somebody like so far down the line. And then, yeah, he literally stopped. He's about 20 seconds ahead of his brother. But then it got to the point where he stopped and almost was like to his brother, like, come on, come on, come finish with me. And then like quickly crossed the lines and his brother didn't sneak ahead for the gold. So I don't know, do you enjoy the triathlon? Did you see any of the triathlon?

COLIN HILDING: I did not see much of it today. I saw basically the recap. So a 60 second recap.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's all you need to see.

COLIN HILDING: That's all I was able to see.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's all you need to see.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, basically I saw as much as you saw today. I just did it in a fraction of time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Alistair Brownlee beat his brother, Jonathan Brownlee. What else did I watch today? I think that was it. Obviously the sprinting, saw a bit of that. Otherwise known as the athletics. Golf, sailing. Oh God, don't even get me started on sailing. We went over this already. It's a shit sport. Not a sport.

COLIN HILDING: It really is not a sport. I like to defend the quote unquote sports in these Olympics. I will defend rhythmic gymnastics. I will definitely defend wrestling. You're sitting in a boat pulling strings. It's not a sport.

BEN WATERWORTH: And then basically, you rely on TV graphics to point out where each boat is, where the finish line is, where the naughty corner penalty circle is, where you've got to go when you create a penalty, for God's sakes. Again, they cut to the crowd of people on the beach watching it. They're all in their apps watching the freaking athletics and just not doing it. It's ridiculous. And then when they celebrate, like the Croatian team that won the gold, their boat flipped over after they won. They're in the water pumping the air celebrating. I think they're actually trying to like save their lives. People think, oh, look how happy the Croatians are. I think they're actually like, oh, help us, help us, we're drowning. Like the Aussie boat pulled up next to them. They've kind of leaned in, given them the high five. And they're like trying to like, pull me up, pull me up, bro, I'm drowning. Like, oh, well done, gold medallist. But you just quickly, the kid-

COLIN HILDING: So little happened in sailing that the Croatians were almost drowning because they were too busy watching André de Grasse and Usain Bolt with the 200 metre on their apps.

BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly. Just quickly, the canoe kayak, we've talked a little bit about that, but I had to, the C1 200 metres, now this is one of the ones where they're kneeling in their boats, not sitting, they're kneeling. And it only goes for 200 metres. And basically, it was such a tight finish that they didn't, they couldn't even put the on-screen graphics up to show who had won. And then as soon as everyone crossed the line, basically everybody fell out of their boats. One of them like completely took out the buoy at the end when they fell over it. And they're all just laying in the water looking up at a screen like, who won, who won? And then it all comes up. It's fascinating to watch. Like, I hate kneeling down, as I said the other day, but in a boat, like paddling, I don't know how they keep it in a straight line, Colin.

COLIN HILDING: I don't know, like we, canoeing is big here in Canada. Well, so is kayaking, even just as a recreational activity. And I've done both, but I've never done a one person canoe, the two person canoe. You know the two person canoe, I mean, it's hard for me to even grasp at or understand it. How you keep your balance, I don't get it. I was in a kayak a couple of years ago, and I don't know how I kept my balance even at kayak. I don't know how I would do it on one leg.

BEN WATERWORTH: I think that, again, eight person canoe, them all kneeling there, just going to town, work out well. But yeah, that's the canoe kayak. Anyway, athlete of the day, is there even any question here? Is he Mr. Bolt again? I guess you could put up to grass, or that the weeble girl who won the wrestling.

COLIN HILDING: I was gonna put up Ryan Lochte to be honest.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, well of course. He'll lie about it anyway, so. Go for it.

COLIN HILDING: Can we put up, I don't wanna put up Lochte, but can we put up one of the two athletes that he left behind to be arrested on his behalf? After when he told the story, he told it that these two guys cowered on the ground while he stood his ground against the armed robbers. They still backed up his stupid story. Then he left a day before them and had them arrested on a plane. I wanna put one of these guys up. Do we even know their names?

BEN WATERWORTH: I have no idea who they are, but we can put them up if we want to. The random.

COLIN HILDING: The Ryan Lochte's so-called friends, you are the athlete of the day.

BEN WATERWORTH: Ryan Lochte's scapegoats. You get the gold medal for believing, I mean, who believes Ryan Lochte? Like, what does he have to say? Oh, guys, like, just stay behind for me. Like, I mean, come on. You're idiots.

COLIN HILDING: We'll get you on season two of my reality show.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, I'll hook you up with a Trump supporter on Twitter. Yeah.

COLIN HILDING: You knew that season two of his reality show would actually be cop stuff.

BEN WATERWORTH: This is like, this is all a plan. You know it's gotta come back now. Like this is just all, like the producers of the network have gone, Ryan, like don't win gold, like choke, pretend you got robbed, create a big news story about it, you know. It will make ratings. You know, yeah. All right. Chasing down in a Bronco along the highway in LA. Take me to my mum's house, take me to my mum's house.

COLIN HILDING: Chase him down in one of the capsized sailing boats of Croatia.

BEN WATERWORTH: David Schwimmer will play his best friend in a TV movie in about 10 years. Channing Tatum will play Ryan Lochte. We've nailed the casting at least. Every Canadian female athlete will want to have lunch with the Ryan Lochte Channing Tatum. My name is... Oh, goodness me. Yeah, well, that's solved that. Why, for the day, goodness me, can we list every single person who competed in the women's high jump, basically. Special note, before I get to the high jump, though, I want to put a special note out to Brittany O'Brien, our Australian diver who finished in 15th place. She's 18, before you question how old she is.

COLIN HILDING: I was about to be little.

BEN WATERWORTH: She's, you know, not bad. But yeah, the high jump, it was just, it was like a buffet. I was just, I was, I wanted to know. I was like on, yeah, I was just, I was intrigued. It was great. That sounded really disrespectful, but you know what I mean. But I have to pause for a second.

COLIN HILDING: I got a pause. I was about to try to Google to see if this got my approval for your future wife. And when you're saying that, I started to Google women's buzz.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I would be intrigued to see what the results came up for that one, Colin. But a particular note, our Australian high jumper, Eleanor Patterson. She was, you know, it was interesting, actually, because they're talking about this saying, oh, Eleanor, you know, she's very different to most athletes. You know, she refused all interviews coming into this. You know, she's very private. She likes to keep to herself. And they kept like showing her like, you know, every time she before she does a run up, she's sort of just sitting there. She's got her eyes closed. You know, she's kind of like doing this. It's not like she's literally like, you know, be the bar, be the mat, like she's like literally in this zone. And then she didn't make it to the final and they've interviewed her. She's there standing like she's got a big, massive like Hollywood sunglasses on because she's obviously been crying a lot. She just looked like one of these like, you know, Britney Spears coming out of a gas station or Ryan Lochte, I should say, not wanting to be seen by the paparazzi. And she was gutted. She was so upset. I felt sorry for her. But I'm not going to go through all these days. But the one that I have to point out, the Italian high jumper who just snuck in in 15th place, Desiree Rosset. Look her up, Colin. So she's 22, before you say anything. And it makes me want to jump over high things.

COLIN HILDING: How tall is she, is my question.

BEN WATERWORTH: I don't know if I quite know her that well to be able to answer that question. But perhaps when I see her...

COLIN HILDING: I was just wondering if it would be awkward with her towering over 1.81 metres.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I was just about to say that. I think I'm a little bit shorter than that. So, well, you know, that's a good...

COLIN HILDING: Do you really mind?

BEN WATERWORTH: Nah, it's fine. It doesn't necessarily mean no matter how high you are. But yep, she can join the club. And still no reply to the snap from Britt Elmsley. I'm very disappointed anyway. All right, channel seven. What have we got? I've got a couple here from the commentary, as always. I'm in the canoeing. You've got the expert canoeing commentator guy who is so boring. He literally sits there with the head commentator and is just like, come on, boys, you can do it. Yeah, boys, you're doing well. Oh, gee, you're going well. Come on, boys, put into it. Like, he's not giving any analysis. He's just cheering. Like, he's gone to channel seven. Yeah, I know a lot about canoe. Can I come? And he's just done it to get a free trip to the Olympics.

COLIN HILDING: All right, paddle some more. Paddle, paddle with all your mates.

BEN WATERWORTH: The head commentator, because the German pairing that won apparently are police officers. So the exact line that the Australian commentator says in winning bronze, Australia fought the law, but the law won. Like, as if that wasn't perfect. They've interviewed Ken Wallace afterwards and he's like, exact line, oh Ken, you won a bronze, how do you feel? Oh, geez, it's a bloody long line, isn't it? This is the guy who's won medals before. Now, we talked a little bit already in these podcasts about Zumbos, just dessert that's coming after the Olympics. So on yesterday's show, we talked a little bit about Bruce McEvaney being involved in the cross promotion for other shows. So he was talking up yesterday this new show, The Durrells, coming to Channel 7, and he's come out and said, if there was a gold medal for dysfunctional families, it would be for The Durrells. So now they've got this ad for Zumbos, just dessert, where you've got like some little chocolate thing, which looks like it's floating. So Bruce McEvaney's dub over is, no tricks, no special effects, it's really levitating. This Monday on Zumbos, just desserts. So then in the high jump, I swear this has to be the most porous attempt at a segue ever. The commentator in the high jump after one of the females clears the bar literally says, no tricks, no special effects, she's really levitating. I was like, really? And the best one, the best one of the day, Bruce McEvaney again, after Usain Bolt's won, he's going around the crowd, he's kissing everybody, he's celebrating, Bruce McEvaney says, oh, we all feel like we've been kissed by a ray of sunshine in so many ways. Like, Bruce, you wore his shoes the other day, now you want him to be kissed by Usain, like we've all got man crushes on him, but wow.

COLIN HILDING: He seems like a very cheesy guy, to be honest.

BEN WATERWORTH: He is, that's a nice way of putting him. But anyway, how's Canada going today in the commentary stakes?

COLIN HILDING: Well, I didn't hear anything really bad on the Canadian commentary, but for whatever reason, the feed that was showing Taekwondo on TSN, it was Scottish announcers, at least it sounded very Scottish to me. And this one guy just at one point started babbling, it was basically in between rounds, and I don't think he really knew what he was trying to say, or he knew how to articulate his point, because this started going on and on, and I had to write down what he said. He basically said, to fight somebody at that distance, you have to imagine this in a Scottish accent, by the way, which I can't do.

BEN WATERWORTH: You have to fight at that distance.

COLIN HILDING: You have to be brave like when you're in an elevator with people, you don't know, and you keep your distance from them. Human beings like to have that personal space. In any fight, you have to get right in, look them in the eye, go for that. These are human beings as well as fantastic female fighters.

BEN WATERWORTH: That's the signifier of separates.

COLIN HILDING: I think by the end, you could hear him chuckling. Like even he's like, I have no clue what I'm saying right now. These are human beings as well as female fighters.

BEN WATERWORTH: Just to clear that up.

COLIN HILDING: There's an analogy about, I know anybody, when I did compete in one event in Taekwondo when I was a kid, the thing I was thinking about was like, just get in the mindset, you're not in an elevator, you're in a safe place right now.

BEN WATERWORTH: Be the kick, be the kick. Be the helmet that doesn't protect from concussion.

COLIN HILDING: Yeah, they're still wearing helmets in Taekwondo, by the way, they don't care about them as much as the boxers.

BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, goodness me, I'm missing out. I haven't seen any Taekwondo yet, actually. So I really don't care about it in Australia.

COLIN HILDING: Nor do you care about it.

BEN WATERWORTH: No, well, I enjoyed it to a point, I remember we won a Golden in Sydney, that was exciting, Lauren Burns, I touched a gold medal when she came to Hobart. So, you know, that actually her gold medal, that wasn't an analogy for anything. I was 13 at the time, come on now. So, yeah, anyway. Canadian athlete of the day, please be better than yesterdays. Yesterdays was boring. We had a cyclist.

COLIN HILDING: Well, who did you pick yesterday?

BEN WATERWORTH: Errico Barrett, he was Canada's Ryan Lochte, I'm sorry.

COLIN HILDING: I'll have to go back and read his profile another time.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, don't, until you go to bed and you need something to put you to sleep.

COLIN HILDING: Well, it's very appropriate that this is the one I picked, cause I just read the profile, knew that she was competing and figured, oh, this has to be the one for today. And she ended up going on to win a gold. So very appropriate that Erica Wiebe, gold medallist, 75 kilogram wrestler is the Canadian athlete of the day. So her profile, my name is Erica Wiebe and I am Canadian. And I just noticed that even though she's filling in the blank, it has an exclamation mark, which explains why just like a few days ago, this athlete is writing everything with exclamation marks. So when it is, I'll just try to yell it. Draw a picture of yourself. She did draw a picture of herself. She's not wearing a shirt for some reason. Damn it. She got very elaborate with her hair, and she drew eyelashes on there. She wrote her name, but she failed to draw a shirt or any type of anatomy. This was a lazy answer. The greatest Olympian of all time is, seriously, how do you choose just one? And she leaves it at that. Well, the other one I was going to read today, he does list about four or five. I don't think he understood this isn't an essay. How she couldn't have just followed this next question, because the first Olympics I remember watching was 96 100 metre final. Oh, sorry, 96 100 metre final. And she puts Donovan Bailey winning gold. Now, you could have picked him for greatest Olympian. Exactly.

BEN WATERWORTH: But there's so many.

COLIN HILDING: How can you choose just one? Yeah.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's so many Olympics. How can I choose just one?

COLIN HILDING: Let me go back to 1896.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, the Antwerp Olympics were pretty good.

COLIN HILDING: If I could be any superhero, it would be she wrote, well, I just did an online quiz and apparently I'm the Flash.

BEN WATERWORTH: The Flash.

COLIN HILDING: Just for the fun of it, I did an online quiz and I'm the Green Lantern. I don't know how that works out.

BEN WATERWORTH: Cool.

COLIN HILDING: Superman was to be Robin for Robin 3 Flash 4.

BEN WATERWORTH: I don't need to do one. I know I'm Batman.

COLIN HILDING: My favourite ice cream flavor is Rocky Road with hearts around it. Draw a picture of a Canadian animal. She drew a beaver. There's more detail in this beaver than there was her upper torso. I just want to point that out.

BEN WATERWORTH: Put the beaver on a body.

COLIN HILDING: In a movie about my life, I would be played by Amy Schumer. If I weren't an athlete, then I would be an astronaut. Now. She's put exclamation points so many places in this questionnaire. For some reason, she wrote an astronaut and just put a period after his.

BEN WATERWORTH: An astronaut.

COLIN HILDING: Period. My guilty pleasure snack is Cinnabon. My favourite song lyrics is, All you know is that the road is deep, hard times will never get you beat. Hold on by Sean Paul.

BEN WATERWORTH: What a song. Love Sean Paul.

COLIN HILDING: The most recent TV show that I binge watched was, How To Get Away With Murder.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's so many.

COLIN HILDING: This one really did not deserve an exclamation point. My favourite place in the world to compete is Guelph. I don't know.

BEN WATERWORTH: There's so many places in the world.

COLIN HILDING: She picks Guelph.

BEN WATERWORTH: What's that?

COLIN HILDING: I did put after that, it's in Ontario, but you'll understand where she wrote this. My family is always there and I've had so, so many memories. This is just being argumentative. Now, my favourite video game is she crossed out the video part of the question and wrote the word board underneath it. And without her answers is Settlers of Catten.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, what a game that is.

COLIN HILDING: There you go.

BEN WATERWORTH: People who play that board game, like it's probably, what is it, like a Dungeons and Dragons style game, they are now thinking to themselves, we can win Olympic gold medals because we've got an Olympic gold medallist who plays whatever that game was. You said I can't remember it.

COLIN HILDING: Settlers of Catten.

BEN WATERWORTH: Of course.

COLIN HILDING: Just drive down to Guelph for a weekend, sit down for nice long games of Settlers of Catten, and the gold medal can be yours, too. My biggest fear in life is getting my fingers chopped off by hockey skates, for real.

BEN WATERWORTH: Hite that. It terrifies me every day.

COLIN HILDING: It is the second biggest cause of death here in Canada, just behind cancer, so maybe she has reason to be afraid. What would the coolest Olympic medal look like? Like, she drew a medal that looks like it's supposed to be glowing, and she wrote, nothing changes! Except, like her torso, the medal has no definition, no design to it, it's just a circle on a string. I can't live without, seriously, wrestling! It keeps me sane!

BEN WATERWORTH: There's so much in life!

COLIN HILDING: Thank you I can't live without, seriously, how can I pick just one thing? If I were a baseball player, my walk up music would be Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot. And the best name I've ever been called is Weeble, Weeby. Now, why is this the one question she felt it was okay to answer too-too? There's no, how do I pick just one? No, Weeble and Weeby.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yep, you've got to have more than one for that, but yes, exactly, how can I pick just one?

COLIN HILDING: A Canadian half of the day, gold medallist, Erika Weeble.

BEN WATERWORTH: This is where you said, Ben, how can I choose just one? There's so many on here. Fan messages, okay, I really wish Canada would have it. I'd love to see Canadian fan messages. Everyone would be to Penny Alexiak, well, now it would be. All right, Caitlin Poole from Victoria to Lindahl Oatley. I'm guessing she's an equestrian rider, otherwise she just likes riding horses. To Lindahl, I have just started to ride my first horse. She's 11 years old and OM 13. Your horse, Sandro Boy, is so beautiful and I bet would be lovely to ride. That sounds a bit wrong. I am so proud of you. I hope to be just like you and go to the Olympic. Best of love and hope to see you in the 2020 Olympics, Caitlin Paul. That's nice.

COLIN HILDING: Can you just start out by going to the spelling bee?

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. Now this one from Yvonne Walker from New South Wales to Madeleine Hills. Now we've talked a lot about people wanting them to reply and all this sort of, this one might take the cake. To Madeleine Hills, congratulations on your outstanding efforts so far at the Olympics. You are doing the Illawarra and Kembler Joggers proud. I have an invitation for you from the Illawarra Connection. We'll fill you in next week after your final. All the best from Sunday. Ywalker at illawarraconnection.com.au. They've put their email address in this one. Can everybody write down email? Ywalker at illawarraconnection.com.au, pretending to be Madeleine Hills. I read your message on the Olympic app. I would love your invitation. Everyone just needs to spam a von Walker right now.

COLIN HILDING: This is Off The Podium spam campaign of day 13.

BEN WATERWORTH: Trolling the IllawarraConnection. From Jessica to the entire Olympic team, the Australian Olympic team. Come on, I know you can do it. You will do great. I know you can do it. Keep it up. Well, that needs a bit of excitement there. Rosemary Opecan Victoria to Rachel Talent. I believe she's a female. I think she's married to Jared Talent. I'm just guessing. All their cousins, I don't know. So excited to see you at Rio.

COLIN HILDING: Closings at the Olympics.

BEN WATERWORTH: So excited to see you at Rio. Good luck in your race. Hope you achieve the result you have worked so hard for. We are having an all night party on the 19th in front of our TV screen to cheer you on and Jared every step all the way. Enjoy yourself. Take care. Have fun. It's going to be amazing for you. Go Talents. Oi, oi, oi. Oh, great. What else have we got here? Yeah, these are pretty boring. To Patrick Mills. Go for gold from Toby and Elise Weil. Here we go, Jonathan Groggin, overseas fan to Eleanor Patterson. Eleanor, I'm the American that you met at the Walmart in West Palm Beach, Florida. Instead of I'm rooting, they've written, I'm routing for you and wish you all the best. You're an awesome person and no matter what, hold your head high. Best of luck. Oh, that person I met at Walmart. Oh, what's this one? To Emma Stowell, Western Australia, to our equestrian Edwina Topps Alexander. This is stupid. I have free acsment available for a pony who deserves the best retirement to be purely a companion for my retired 24-year-old gelding. Highland on Tormey Hill, no mosquitoes and no flies here. Just a stress-free lazy horse home. I feed an apple daily, and my old mountie's waiting in a home panic same time every day. Edwina, your horse is welcome. This isn't advertising, am I sal?

COLIN HILDING: We know it's good now. Their screeners are down. That means our next message is going through for sure.

BEN WATERWORTH: Can I literally write to Brittany Elsley? I have a spare space in my bed. It's warm, it's comfortable. This is ridiculous. There's got to be another one here. We're in a roll today. Yeah, they're losing now. Oh, bugger. All right. Okay. Oh, this one's All In Capitals. Maybe we need to go this way. This is to our man, Warren Potent, the choker shooter that was favourite and didn't do anything, Jason King. All In Capitals. All the best in Rio, mate, but hurry home, mate. Need your help with my Cummins part. Ha ha ha ha. You should be proud, Cobb. I don't know. My Cummins part. C-U-M-M-I-N-S. I don't know what that means. Is that a part of a gun?

COLIN HILDING: How are these messages getting through?

BEN WATERWORTH: How did the, who is the intern on the approval messages today? All right, who are we saying? We're running out of sports, we're running out of people. I don't know. Where are we going today?

COLIN HILDING: Do we have any wrestlers?

BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I think we only had the Ivan guy the other day. Hang on, that was Greco Roman. Do we have a freestyle wrestler?

COLIN HILDING: Yeah.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, who do we have? We've got two freestyle wrestlers. We've got Taugat Ilyasov and Sahit Prisreni, the great esteemed freestyle wrestlers of Australia. Who do we like, Taugat or Sahit?

COLIN HILDING: Let's go with Taugat.

BEN WATERWORTH: Taugat. Hello, Taugat. If you're listening to us, you look like a very tough bloke. Your nickname is Charlie. Yep. I get that from Taugat Ilyasov. What are we going to say to Charlie, come and fix my cummins part?

COLIN HILDING: What if we said, I met you at the Walmart in Flintflaw.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes.

COLIN HILDING: And then go on to say, I believe Ryan, I was robbed in the bus. Drivers are working with robbers.

BEN WATERWORTH: Let's get to this point. Click on you. Thank you. I met you at the Walmart in Flintflaw. Flint is apparently what it says. Flintflaw. You were great. I believe Ryan. What was the next part after that? Who was robbed in the bus.

COLIN HILDING: Drivers are working with robbers.

BEN WATERWORTH: Are working with robbers. Hope you wrestle well.

COLIN HILDING: Can we just add a PS to that? PS you wrestle well.

BEN WATERWORTH: PS hope you wrestle well. Done. Go Charlie. You go you good thing. Freestyle. He's on tonight at 11:08 p.m. for Australians on Friday. There you go. I don't think channel 7 will be showing that. Yeah, you will be. You've set the recorder. Alright, we're up to day 14 now. Wow, we've nearly got three more days to go. 22 gold to be decided today. First of the water polo golds being decided. More taekwondo. Synchronised swimming comes so close today. Modern pentathlon medals as we said. Football, the women's Canada going for bronze, are they today, Colin, of course? Yeah. Yes. The last day of equestrian. And both BMX events today as well tomorrow. Yeah. Lots going on as always. Colin, I don't really have much in terms of Australia. I think we're in canoeing and shit. The boomers play, I think, of course. The semis, you've got to go for the boomers. Beating Serbia. Love the boomers. Love the boomers. What's happening for Canada tomorrow today? Whatever you want to be technical with.

COLIN HILDING: Well, obviously, the women's soccer, that's going to be the big one. I think we still have one stroker. Strokers, paddlers, left in the kayak. Mark DeJohn, he's still in there. And Tory Nyhag, of course, in the BMX, our new hero. And I think we had somebody in the equestrian still up. And Eric Lamaze, of course, with his famous Fine Lady 5. Sadly, Fine Lady 4 kicked the bucket after the last Olympics, but Fine Lady 5 is ready to go and ready to take a bronze, following up on his bronze from last time, I believe.

BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I'll be looking forward to that. And I should also mention the fake gymnastics begins today. Riznik finally gets underway. And just a really quick note, if you love listening to the fan messages to Australian athletes on Off The Podium, make sure you download the AOC official app, because you can watch a video of several athletes receiving fan messages. And they've actually put up here, fan messages to our athletes. Take three. Our Olympic athletes receive messages of support from people who admire them and their efforts at the game. So you can see our gold medallist Kyle Chalmers, track and field sprinter Melissa Breen, and table tennis superstar Heming Hu open up their favourites. So they've probably sat them all down. They've handed each a folder of all their messages. Kyle Chalmers is really, really thick. Melissa Breen's got a few. And then, oh, here you go, Heming, here's your one fan message.

COLIN HILDING: And on the Canadian side, you can watch Canadian athletes watching the Australian athletes receive these messages.

BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, yes. And you can hear Canadian commentators mistake them for New Zealanders and calling them fat pigs. So that's how it generally works. So, well, that's a good day. That's an interesting day. We've learnt about Ryan Lochte and Usain Bolt is still our number one man crush. Facebook, email, iTunes, YouTube, you know how it all works. If you don't, well, you need to go to school. Colin, thank you for your time on Off The Podium today.

COLIN HILDING: Thank you for giving me so much more material for my next Lion Lochte roast.

BEN WATERWORTH: Yes, and speaking of roasts, I'm just going to head off to the Women's High Jump Buffet. Good night!