Tokyo 2020 Opening Ceremony Review
It's time to light that cauldron and get yourself even more excited than you already are as THE GAMES HAVE OFFICIALLY BEGUN! Yes, that's right, after the...uh...somewhat 'interesting' opening ceremony it's time for your favourite Olympics podcast to go over everything that you just watched and give our very unique take on it in true Off The Podium style! Did it live up to expectations? Did Channel 7 and CBC make fools of themselves already or were we pleasantly surprised at how they handled themselves? Which country had the best outfit? Which had the worst? Did we miss Nikki Webster? Does it make us want to buy treadmills? And has this made us more excited for the next 16 days of competition? Added to our review of the opening ceremony, we also take a look at some of the results that have already come our way so far, look ahead to an epic day 1 of competition happening tomorrow and find some unique ways to bring you some fan engagement for both Canada and Australia! It's all here and more in one epic episode that any Olympic fan can't afford to miss!
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.
BEN WATERWORTH: It is Off The Podium, an Olympics podcast coming to you for maybe our favourite episode. It's the opening ceremony review episode of Tokyo 2020. The Games are here. Celebrate good times. It took an extra year to get to this point and it took another year to get through the opening ceremony. That's right. It is now 2022 because that went for a little bit longer than I think we're all anticipating. It's quite late in the evening for Jarrod and myself and quite early in the morning for Colin. But one of us on this episode, I think, is making money. But yeah, the opening ceremony just happened. And I feel we're going to have a lot to talk about on it tonight. It's going to be a very interesting episode. Whew, a bit to unpack there. I just mentioned both of their names, but let's introduce them properly. It's a man who, after seeing the opening ceremony tonight, has already contacted the Australian Olympic Committee to say, We will do better in Brisbane. Just do not watch that at all. It's Jarrod, Emu Plains-Loobeek. Jarrod, welcome back to the show.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Thank you. Yeah, I think Anastasia had the right idea that she wasn't going there to watch it live. John Coates might owe her an apology at this point in time.
BEN WATERWORTH: There's a reason why she was so disappointed that she was told she was going to the opening ceremony. It had nothing to do with her worrying about Queenslanders. She just didn't want to watch that crap. Also joining us on the line is a man who will be contacting the organising committee of Vancouver 2030 to say, please let me do something and don't watch that crap. It's Colin Hilding. Colin, welcome back.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and you know, the listeners can't see this, but you guys can. I've already come equipped with my prop for Vancouver 2030.
BEN WATERWORTH: You're on the board!
COLIN HILDING: I've got my treadmill.
BEN WATERWORTH: You were predicting it. That's been in here for months and I'm going, oh, all of a sudden you're like, Ben, this is for the Olympics. Come on.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, you know, we put pictures, flags behind us. I've got treadmills. I'm in the spirit of the opening ceremonies here.
BEN WATERWORTH: We're all dressed up. You're wearing your Team Canada shirt. I've got my Team Canada hoodie. Jarrod's got his pajamas, which is probably a symbol for the opening ceremony. And today I said I would only wear a medal if there's a medal winner of each of the days, but I thought maybe I could alternate when we don't have a medal winner and wear a symbolic medal. So I'm actually tonight, not that anyone can see this, I'm wearing my Rio 2016 gold medal because I would like to take this gold medal from Rio for winning the award for worst opening ceremony I have ever seen in my life. I'm going to hand this over to Tokyo, I feel, after tonight. So last time Rio can celebrate that, because I'm calling this right now. That is the worst opening ceremony I have. The closing ceremony of the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games was better than that crap. I'm sorry to start off on such a negative note, but holy crap, we had a treadmill, we had people tap dancing on boxes, we had people moving boxes, and then we had Naomi Asaka sum up the entire opening ceremony by looking bored, lighting the cauldron. Let's start with you, Colin. You at least got up early for this. Regretting that decision right now?
COLIN HILDING: You know, I woke up at 4.30 just on my own. So I didn't even set an alarm. I'm like, I bet you I'm going to be so excited that I'm just going to wake up. And it happened. But it was long, which I think the one thing we should give them some credit for, for Tokyo. And I know I said the same thing with Rio. The lackluster opening ceremony for Rio, they were going out of their way to say, we're not going to be spending millions upon millions upon millions of dollars or billions upon billions of dollars. We want to do an economical one. We want to be responsible with these opening ceremonies. I have a feeling had this taken place a year ago, we would have seen something very different. And you got to think, when they've cancelled these games, rescheduled it, and now at the very last minute, fired every single creative director they had because of stuff they said 25 years ago, you know, there's going to be some gaps. So I kind of applaud them for putting on what they did, probably expecting that at the very last minute, this could have just been pulled and not wanting to waste billions upon billions of dollars.
BEN WATERWORTH: You're so Canadian. You are so Canadian. You're basically saying nice things about this. Jarrod, come on, be Australian, mate. Come on. Tell us what we really think of what we saw tonight.
JARROD LOOBEEK: It dragged. It was so long, but there was no content to it. I was like, I'm like, how is this going so long? And they've done nothing. It was like expectations were high. Even if expectations had been low, it would have failed. Just it wasn't anything that you'd expect, or like there was like hardly any traditional elements to it. It kind of moved between. There wasn't enough like high tech elements to it either. It looked like really bad high school production at certain points. Well, for the majority of it, actually. Yeah, just there was nothing to get excited about. And some of the stuff, I think some of the best stuff was some of the stupidest stuff that was only good because it was laughable.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned the high school side of it because that is definitely something I felt. And I mean, it's a good point you make, Colin. Like maybe a year ago, this would have been different. But it just, is it because they had to fire the creative director behind it? Like all of a sudden, they just go, oh, scrap everything he did. Let's just quickly, what was the backup plan? Boxes, boxes, more boxes. Pictograms are important. Let's take 20 minutes showing people do pictograms. That's exciting. I don't know. A treadmill, a treadmill. There we go. That will be the star of this. Make a treadmill.
COLIN HILDING: I mean, the creative director may have copywritten everything that was planned. And this is just, oh, we got four days, guys. What are we going to do? I've got a treadmill in my basement. Yes, bring it in. We'll work it. The one thing, I'll be a little less Canadian here. The one thing I'm going to say is, they use the video game music. But unless I blinked and missed something, could they not have gotten a cheap $40 Mario or Sonic costume? That's something that everybody was expecting.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah. I mean, God, the Prime Minister wore it five years ago. Sonic, there's a movie since then. Where's Sonic? Pikachu, something. I mean, OK, they might blow its closing ceremony. It's more fun. But the tone of this was kind of a bit fun and silly when they did stuff. As you said, Joe, nothing happened. Like, I've already seen the headlines now that treadmill guy is or was it a girl? Treadmill person? Girl is like trending.
COLIN HILDING: It depends on which country's commentators are telling you. We'll get to that.
BEN WATERWORTH: I feel like I'm wearing the Canadian stuff tonight, so I'm confusing genders. But yeah, like treadmill girl is trending. I mean, we wanted our Nikki Webster Jarrod, treadmill girl, who apparently is a boxer, who didn't qualify because her world ranking wasn't high enough. So basically they've gone, oh, well, that sucks. Would you like to be in the opening ceremony? Oh, yeah. Do you want me to like light the cauldron? Like, what do you want me to do? You can run on a treadmill. Sounds exciting. I mean, like, I just didn't get it. I didn't get the point of the treadmill and what is it? Because of the COVID times, and oh, let's all, you know, do this. Obviously the traditional elements of Japan are clearly Imagine, a very traditional Japanese song. Very glad they included that. Also very traditional Japanese elements, including Susan Boyle, which was also very nice to have Susan Boyle involved, very favourite person of Japan. They were, they paid homage to Sydney 2000 with the tap dogs, with the tap dancing. One person this time around, rather than an entire stadium dancing on corrugated iron. At least they recycled the boxes because then they just moved them around a little bit, which was kind of cool. And then I think it turned into the Tokyo 2020 bid video, because it was like, hey, these are our venues where we will host things, and hey, these are the sports we'll have, which took about five hours to show. I mean, again, the Brisbane bid video from a few days ago, I think was better, and they could have showed that at the opening ceremony. I, Jarrod, I don't know why we, the other day, were like, please let it be good. Like, I mean, it has slowly gotten worse since Rio. Like, Rio, we, I remember coming on, and we're like, oh, that was kind of crap. Pyeongchang, yeah, that was kind of crap. This is like just beyond ridiculous. I'm sorry to be so negative still, but like, I'm calling this the worst opening ceremony I've ever watched in my life.
JARROD LOOBEEK: The whole just tone of everything as well. Like, I understand that, like, obviously the games have been super difficult to put on. COVID's such like a huge factor, but do we have to dwell on it so much?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Like, we knew it was a thing from so many, like, other elements of, like, the athletes wearing masks, the teams being kind of less people in the stadium, no crowd. Like, it was so obvious that we just needed that little clip, like, at the start where it got to kind of, like, 2020 and then, like, it slowed down. And then that was, like, enough reference. I didn't need the whole first half to just be about people, the guy on the treadmill, and we're far apart, we're closer than we've ever been, and just, it was just, like, a real down. And I think, too, like, it's compounded by the fact of, like, Sydney, like, being, like, in lockdown at the moment. It's just, like, I was looking forward to this great, like, escapism of the opening ceremony, and then it just, like, brought everything back of, like, oh, that's right, we're still here, and we haven't gone anywhere.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, and that's exactly it. I think you mentioned before, like, the traditional elements. Like, the thing I love about an opening ceremony is celebrate the country we're watching the culture. And, like, for a country like Japan that, okay, we had Nagano in 1998, and I vaguely remember that. I mean, that had sumo wrestlers from memory. Like, it had, like, traditional costumes and, like, the real traditional Japanese music. And, like, if, you know, people don't really tune in to the winter ones as much, like, haven't had a summer Olympics in, what, 50, more than 50 years, 60 years nearly. So, like, it's a perfect opportunity to showcase, you know, Japan to the world. What traditional things did we have? Like, it was, it was, it was, there was nothing, was there?
COLIN HILDING: I think there was the geisha-like costumes thing near the end, which was the briefest segment they had. But I think what's more frustrating is that I'd have to go back and watch it, but I swear that the Tokyo preview that we got at the end of the previous Olympics showed more of the Japanese culture. That's kind of why I had this expectation we'd be getting a lot of Japan in there. I don't know whether including a lot of these random things, like Imagine and very non-Tokyo things, non-Japanese things, is again to placate the larger audiences and other sides of the world. But if that's the case, that's not what I tune in for. I do want to see this country. I want every Olympics to feel unique. And Rio did have, as small as it was, it felt like it was Rio. It felt like this was... Yeah, exactly.
BEN WATERWORTH: I was going to say that because we bagged that out, but you think about the shanty house things I had. I mean, even Giselle walking in the middle of the stadium was a bit iconic. The tree, the environmentalist stuff kind of annoyed me at the time, but now that looks brilliant. Even Pyeongchang where it was like, where's Psy? Where's this? Where's that? But they still kind of had some cool Korean elements. That is what... Yeah, I'm with you. I tune in to see that about the country. And Jarrod, as you said, this was touted as the moment that's going to bring the world back together. And they just seemed to give themselves a blowjob a little bit too much. Like, oh, the world's all together right now. Like, yeah, OK, great, sure. But show me Japan. Like, I want to see this technological marvel that is Japan. And who cares if you bring back, you know, more geishas, more Mount Fuji, more sumos, like, traditional things. Like, it's kind of a thing in Australia, and we kind of called this back for Gold Coast, that you're going to have your indigenous sort of music and nod to the land. And yeah, OK, it might get a bit repetitive, but there's a reason for it. Like, I mean, that's who we are as Australians. That's where we're from. That's our traditional owners of the land and all that kind of stuff. Like, we celebrate that, and we'll get that in Brisbane in 11 years. I'm calling it now. And same with Canada, Colin. Like, in Vancouver, they, you know, celebrated the native people as well, and I'm sure they'll do that if Vancouver gets the Games again. It's like, it's what you do. I mean, America can maybe get it away a little bit more with it, because I get it so often. Like, LA is going to be a little bit different to when Atlanta had it, because you traditionally know the area. But yeah, it's, it's, I mean, Treadmill Girl. Like, I didn't not think we'd be sitting here talking about a woman on a treadmill. Um, I, Jarrod, were there any, I mean, we'll obviously mainly talk, I think a lot about sort of some of the elements from our broadcasts, a lot more so when it comes to the Parade of Nations. But I have to ask a question. Now, you, I think, alluded to that we were getting a few of the SBS commentators to sort of come over to bring that cultural diversity to Channel 7. Now, I'm sorry, I don't know the name of the lady that we had tonight. I don't know if you have her name or not. She seemed very informative, great. But I mean, is this just a Channel 7 thing that it's like, let's get someone on to talk about their family? Because I swear all she did was, oh, I'm so emotional right now because I'm from Japan and my family are from Japan. And this is an emotional moment. That flag means a lot to my family. And then when the head of the organising committee was speaking, she kind of translated it. But then it all just sort of became me, me, me. I'm so happy that I'm Japanese. And this is such a proud moment. I mean, is that what they're trying to do? Like bringing SBS over here because they talk about their family. And that's what we do here at Channel 7. We only care more about the family rather than what's happening in front of us.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it was an odd one. I feel like she was there to provide the history of the culture, but she wasn't needed to do that because it wasn't in the ceremony. I think she had one moment where she talked about kind of the traditional clothing and this, that, whatever else. But apart from that, she had nowhere else to go except for like, like you say, I'm so proud of this, blah, blah, blah, this, that, whatever else. Then completely just disappeared for the Parade of Nations.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, she was gone.
JARROD LOOBEEK: And then came back to translate. It was really odd. And I think I suppose they were expecting that she'd have more of a role in explaining stuff. But there just wasn't any moment where it was like, we need an explanation for anything because everything was just so straightforward and obvious.
BEN WATERWORTH: And that's what I like about watching an opening ceremony. And it would have been unique to watch it in a different country. It's like, I mean, I'm assuming all broadcasters given a similar script. This is what you're seeing. So explain this to your audience. And I feel that there was no explanation needed for anything like, you know, Hamish, Joe and Bruce were kind of bored. Like, I mean, they're in their element when it comes to the Parade of Nations and we'll get to that. But I don't know. Like, there was nothing for them to talk about. Colin, I don't know if it was the same for the CBC broadcast. Like, I mean, how were your broadcasters when it came to discussing the things that we were seeing with Treadmill Girl and Imagine and Box, Boxes and Boxes. All the boxes. Oh, he's gone. All right. Never mind. We will say that Colin, in all seriousness, is hard at work. So he may be dropping in and out tonight. We'll get that. A couple of the other words, though, that pictogram thing was cool in principle. I kind of like that. You know, that was kind of a nod back to Tokyo 64. But God, that went on forever. Like, when you see in the corner, it said 50. I'm thinking there's like 33 sports. What's going on here? And then it took like half an hour, didn't it?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, actually, that was my favourite moment of the opening ceremony. They were far and few between, but it was the type of thing that you would expect to see on like a TikTok or something, maybe not something that makes it to the... That moment felt very Commonwealth Games. I was impressed by the guy's ability to remember. He had that stumble early on with the badminton, but then it came back from that, so that was good. But the fact that that, something that was really lame for a better want of a better word, was a highlight of the ceremony. It just goes to show that there was nothing else that was innovative or cool or cultural. It was just really bland throughout.
BEN WATERWORTH: And you've got to wonder, were these things added this year rather than last year, because it's kind of that code element where it's more of a TV thing. And I mean, the opening ceremony is almost turning into more of a TV thing now, in general, with technology. But there was even thinking to like Treadmill Girl, and then thinking to the things that we saw with the boxes, there was no grandiose, big section of the opening ceremony where you've got people with big props and all this kind of stuff. I mean, again, in Rio, you had the tree and the big boxes and things like that, that looked spectacular and would have been amazing in the stadium. So you wonder if they did scale it back. I mean, sort of on the video stuff, I didn't mind it when before the Parade of Nations, when you had the orchestra. And I kind of like how they would cut to like, they would sort of cross between the musical instruments playing and like the sports. When you had the conductor put their arms out, they kind of did the diver. That was a cool little thing, the way they did that. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, Colin, we were just sort of loosely talking about the pictogram section that went on forever. And the question I think I asked you just before you left to earn some real money was, your commentators, like how they were sort of, were they struggling to explain the things we were seeing outside of the Parade of Nations? Like, oh, he's boxes again.
COLIN HILDING: No, actually, I think they did too good of a job. They may have been making up half of what they said. During the wooden Olympic logo arch or whatever, one of the commentators was talking about, you know, the type of wood they use and all the symbolism and everything, because obviously they get pointers. And then there was just a silence. The other commentator says, yeah, you, wow, your explanation of that wood was so solid that, wow, it's making me homesick. And I'm in Toronto now. And I'm like, where are you from? I had to go back and I'm like, what type of wood is this? What's the smell of it? They didn't go into the details of the smell. I could feel it. I could smell, I could taste it right now.
BEN WATERWORTH: You need to send us a clip. It would have only been topped if they had to turn around and go, yes, great explanation. You really give me some good wood right now. That's so Canadian. I'm so sad I'm not there anymore. I just want to hear your comment. Thanks, Jess. Yes, absolutely. I really feel that right now. I actually, I mean, one thing, I thought that was cool with the rings, like that at least one of the rings or all the rings were from wood, from seeds of trees that were planted during 1964, which was kind of a cool little touch. I like things like that.
COLIN HILDING: I don't know if you've heard the story at all, but they're getting athletes to plant seeds now so that they can use these for the next time Tokyo has the Olympics. So they're already looking forward to their next opening ceremony. But they made a joke about that too. At one point, they said, it's like, yeah, we might be seeing this make its return in 2057.
BEN WATERWORTH: Obviously, another big talking point, the drones. That was cool. And I know they kind of did a similar thing during the Super Bowl, whatever year that was when Lady Gaga performed. And I think they kind of basically said, oh, this was pre-recorded, so that wasn't live. But this looked live. I mean, if that was not live, then they did a very good job with the editing. I mean, Jarrod, it was good to see Australia on that world. That was great. But I mean, yeah, it's cool when you can actually do that.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Well, this was like the one moment where Japan's touted for the tech savviness. And this was kind of the moment where we got a little glimpse at it. Not in the expected way. I was thinking robots or this, that, whatever else. But yeah, it was definitely cool to look at. We'd seen similar, was it Pyeongchang? But this, yes, this just looked really impeccable.
BEN WATERWORTH: Colin, did you notice Canada on that map? I think they focused very much on Australia. I didn't see the other side of the world. So thank you, Japan. We appreciate it.
COLIN HILDING: If they did, I missed it, because I also spotted Australia, but not Canada.
BEN WATERWORTH: I think Tasmania might have even been on that, so they did well. So that was pretty cool. I mean, we mentioned Imagine. I kind of like the world. I mean, I think I got spoiled. I overheard the news this morning, and I heard them say like, Oh, and Keith Urban is going to be part of the opening. Yeah, traditional Japanese artists. But obviously, they got kind of all the content. I mean, Colin, I tweeted out saying, disappointed Nickelback didn't get the nod for the Americas. They got John Legend. I mean, they could have gotten worse. But that was, I mean, that song is just, I mean, it's not a bad song. It's just, it's kind of dumb.
COLIN HILDING: I think it's a bad song.
BEN WATERWORTH: You think it's a bad song?
COLIN HILDING: That's my point. Well, it's exactly for the reason you said. It's so overdone. It's one of these songs that I think by the time I was five or six years old, I already was like, can I just never hear this song again, please? Like, I'm done with it. I like the idea of them doing that, but I feel like maybe if we had had more Japanese content, and then that was just something tapped on in the end, it would have been a little bit more acceptable. I did want to say, I don't know whether, you know, I'm gonna get yelled at by two Australians here, but is there anything left of Keith Urban's real face? Like, I think he is the most plastic-looking man I've ever seen. I'm not even entirely sure he's human at this point.
BEN WATERWORTH: He gets it from his wife. Like, I think it just melts in a kiss.
COLIN HILDING: Made for each other.
BEN WATERWORTH: Look, I mean, I'm not personally... Say what you want about Keith Urban. I think we had 101 different better options that we could have had. Jarrah, I don't know where you stand on the Keith Urban fandom. I mean, I don't hate the guy, but it's just like, Keith Urban was our choice? Okay. I mean, you know, I mean, who was that crappy band we sent to Eurovision this year? Surely, they might have even been a better choice, right?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it's just weird to pick someone to represent Oceania, who, like, doesn't even live here for half the year.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, he was actually born in New Zealand. True fact. We just stole him. So, yeah. Yeah, it's weird. But it's, I mean, we were sort of talking off air that there's Channel 7 and now got the rights to The Voice, and he's a judge on The Voice. I mean, Guy Sebastian's a judge on The Voice. Colin loves his Guy Sebastian. So, you know, he was a star of the Commonwealth Games a few years ago, so, you know, why not get a bit of Keith? I actually like the African representative. She's saying, cool, I want to hear more of her. I like her. Obviously, we talk about the torch a little bit, and then we can talk about the best bit about the whole ceremony, the flags and the countries and all the goodies that come from that. I mean, Jarrod, we sort of loosely implied, Naomi, you were a bit skeptical. I think it kind of got given away a little bit this afternoon when her match got moved to Sunday, and people are like, oh, that's a little bit interesting. Yeah, I mean, as the tennis man on this podcast, were you disappointed? Were you excited? I mean, a bit of pressure. Bruce called it the Kathy moment. Like, is it the Kathy moment now? All the pressures on Naomi.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I don't think so. I just wasn't expecting it. And then I was like, well, of course, it would happen after I said yesterday, no, it's not going to be her. It would look really bad for her and really hypocritical if she's mentioned, like, her anxiety and stuff. And then all of a sudden, she's lighting the cauldron at the Olympics. Well, she proved me wrong. I just think it's an odd choice because of what I said, but then also she just does always have this expression where I assume it's down to her nerves, but she just always looks really, like, unimpressed. And I think it's just her being nervous and self-conscious, but surely somebody would know that, and everybody else along the relay looked, like, so excited and happy to be there, and then it gets her in her face just so, like, deadpan, zero expression at all. It's just, yeah, it's just an odd choice to me. Put it earlier on in the relay, not as the person lighting the cauldron.
BEN WATERWORTH: Are you a big fan of Naomi Colin? I mean, I know you do like tennis, so I don't know how much you follow her outside of the Canadians.
COLIN HILDING: I'm aware of her. I wouldn't necessarily like I'm a big fan or anything. I've got no issues with her. For me, I'm just, I'm thinking that they showed so many other, oh, this athlete competed in these games, this athlete competed in this game. And traditionally, you don't get somebody who's still competing to light the cauldron. You'll always get, you know, like Muhammad Ali, right? Or Wayne Gretzky or somebody like that. It's just, I can't think of many Olympics where they got somebody who...
BEN WATERWORTH: Sydney 2000.
COLIN HILDING: Who did it in Sydney?
BEN WATERWORTH: Cathy Freeman. Iconic.
COLIN HILDING: Well, yeah. But for the most part, the whole idea is you're getting the most iconic person you can, who's kind of paying tribute to somebody from the past. Whereas Nooma Asaka, that would have been like, okay, this is our flag bearer, not necessarily somebody lighting the cauldron.
BEN WATERWORTH: And I'm pretty sure Athens, do they not have their really famous, was it their hurdler?
COLIN HILDING: Hercules did it in Athens.
BEN WATERWORTH: Hercules, of course, Hercules did. I mean, look, I'm sure it was a big talk in Canada in the lead up to Vancouver, like who's going to light it, everything. I mean, it was, I remember just the absolute, just all the secrecy and all the, who was going to light the cauldron like in Sydney. And I don't even, like Jarrod, I don't know if you remember much about it, but I never remember them talking about Cathy. Like they were kind of talking about how, oh, it's going to be a nod to the women because it's like a hundred years since women competed in the Olympics. And that's why all our final athletes in that were females. And I think people talk like Dawn Fraser, like Shane Gould, like all these iconic, Betty Cuthbert. But I mean, Cathy was an interesting one because yeah, Colin, as you said, it's generally kind of never an athlete and people talked up this pressure. But I mean, you know, you talk about iconic Australian Olympic moments, Cathy Freeman's up there. I mean, she lit the cauldron and then won the gold a week later. So I mean, kind of it was a big thing. But actually, I didn't mind like, I'm always, I like the moment when the torch, the cauldron gets lit because obviously it's pretty, and I kind of like the Mount Fuji, how it turned into that sort of, was it like a flower or a petal or something like that? Colin, I mean, obviously it's not, no Vancouver where one of them didn't work. You only had one this time around, but did you like the sort of the moment when it got lit and kind of the cauldron itself?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and I think there are so many things about these opening ceremonies that, whether it's reasons of uncertainty or are you being a year pushed back, you could tell the cauldron lighting felt like this is a big Olympic moment still. So for me, that was one of the few parts of this where it didn't feel like this was scale back year. And really, Jarrod, you said it earlier, you kind of want this as an escape, and I felt like there was way too much of, whether it was commentary or just the way the ceremony was structured, reminding people, hey, it's a COVID year where we understand what's going on, but let us feel like this is worth our vacation. Come on, I'm on vacation here. I booked my vacation for this. But the cauldron itself looks fantastic. The lighting ceremony was good. Whether or not Naomi had any expression on her face.
BEN WATERWORTH: Again, we tweeted a picture of her. That summed up the opening ceremony very well. Jarrod, what was your take on just the cauldron lighting itself?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think the cauldron was super impressive, particularly because beforehand, before it was lit, I thought it looked a bit odd. It didn't look like it was going to be anything impressive, but the way that it opened up, it ended up looking amazing. So, yeah, I agree. It feels like that was the part that they'd spent all their time and effort and money on to get right. And then the rest was just an afterthought.
BEN WATERWORTH: And they're doing a tradition that Vancouver started and Rio continued, of course. The cauldron itself won't be in the stadium. They put it sort of like a public area, which apparently has been blocked off. The public can't even still see it. I love the fact that that's kind of the case there. I will say that to add to the 500 hours that we did put up with the opening ceremony, they did have to choose the slowest final torch bearers ever. I mean, I'm not trying to bag out those baseball players, but holy crap, they mustn't have got many runs, if that's how fast they ran back in the day. So I love the torch. The torch is a cool looking torch. I'm putting this out there now. We should have mentioned this the other day, Jarrod. 2032, Jarrod, you and I are nominating each other to be torch bearers at the Brisbane Olympics. I've run with the Commonwealth Games batten. I was a Queen's batten runner. So I've got that on my resume. Jarrod, we're going to bump up your resume in 11 years, and I want to hand you the torch. We're going to hand it off to each other.
COLIN HILDING: No, no, no. We can only send one. So what we're going to do is Ben versus Jarrod in a 400-metre race around the track, winner gets to take the torch.
BEN WATERWORTH: God. Well, choose 800. That's my speciality. I'm more of a long-distance one. Before we get to the Predator Nations, I'm thrilled to see here on Twitter the trending topics in Australia right now. Nikki frickin Webster is trending right now in Australia. Jarrod, I mean, look, that makes it a better night for me right now.
COLIN HILDING: Nikki Webster is trending.
BEN WATERWORTH: That's a win for the opening ceremony right there.
JARROD LOOBEEK: It's true. We've put it out there for 2032, and this just, the hype train's building already.
BEN WATERWORTH: You know what's hilarious is that I did see recently, she went on a radio show, and they interviewed her and were like, would you be available? She said, absolutely. I interviewed Nikki Webster like 11 years ago, and when we were doing the Hobart Olympic bit, I asked her the same question. She said, absolutely. Like, I love you, Nikki. You're an icon of Australia, but I think you're just kind of a bit impatient, just waiting for an Olympics to happen, so that's your one job that you have. Parade of Nations, always fun, usually around the commentary. Colin, I want to start with you when it comes to CBC, because obviously Jarrod and I are not watching the Canadian ones. I did message you in our chat, which I want you to talk about this. There was a moment where even I saw there were people on Twitter complaining in Canada about a moment, which was connected to Australia. Was that the only faux pas? I think there was another one that they were calling a discus thrower, like a hammer thrower or something like that. There's a few mistakes, I think there were.
COLIN HILDING: I missed that. For me, talking on the whole downer moment, I mean, I sort of messaged you guys that the Canadian commentators are trying very hard to be woke, which backfired on them because I don't know whether anybody got the news release that countries were given the option of selecting two flag bearers and not that they were obligated to choose both a man and a woman. Now, unfortunately, this came up where the United Arab Emirates came out, and the same commentator who we'll talk about with the man and woman mix up was like, hmm, interesting that they only chose a man to carry the flag. Yeah, they had the option for a woman, but nope, they're going only with men. I looked it up. They have one woman on the United Arab Emirates team of only six people this time around, and she doesn't compete till the 30th, and they have a five-day hold where you can only arrive not longer than five days. She's not even there. Were they gonna dress up one of the other guys as a woman? And then they decided to bring it up when Yemen came out. They're like, oh, yeah, Yemen again, only going with the man. Interesting. Now, this is followed by about a dozen nations with only a female flag bearer or a dozen more that only have a male, and at that point, obviously, it had caught on. Yeah, you know what? This actually is not an expectation. You have to do this. This is an option. But of course, at that point, they had already called out the two Middle Eastern nations as being sexist for not putting up a woman when there was nobody to put up.
BEN WATERWORTH: Wow. Wow. Good old Canada. But tell us about the other faux pas directly related to Australia.
COLIN HILDING: So I do have the audio. I don't know if you want. You can cut it out. If there's some copyright infringement here, I doubt there is.
BEN WATERWORTH: We play John Williams score at the beginning of this. Come on. We had Thomas Bach the other day at the beginning announcing Brisbane.
COLIN HILDING: Whether or not you guys can hear this, if it's loud enough, let's see. How do I go back here?
BEN WATERWORTH: This is perfect podcasting Off The Podium.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Two women carrying the flag. Kate Campbell, the swimmer, and Patty Mills, the basketball player. So there you go.
BEN WATERWORTH: Question answered.
COLIN HILDING: So he calls out and says, and Australia deciding to go with two women. Patty Mills. And then the other commentator, the female commentator, there you go. That's how you do it.
BEN WATERWORTH: There's a man clearly on the screen.
COLIN HILDING: Well, I'm laughing. And Jamie's in the other, like Jamie had left, right? And then by the time you'd brought it up, I'm like, oh, they heard about this already. And she's like, heard about what? I'm like, about the fact that they called a man a woman. And she goes, no, I saw two women there. Like, no, you didn't. I had to rewind back like 45 minutes at this point to show her. And she's like, I distinctly remember seeing two white women. I'm like, A, it's not a woman. And B, I don't think he's white.
BEN WATERWORTH: Our first ever indigenous flag bearer.
COLIN HILDING: People still, they don't see race. They don't see gender.
BEN WATERWORTH: How the hell is somehow they still fucked up with one of the Campbell sisters involved? Somehow it still just gets fucked up.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah.
BEN WATERWORTH: Were there any other show? I mean, I think Canadians are too nice to kind of point out other things. I mean, do you have that cool graphic like NBC do where they kind of have the little like, this is where the country is in the world and little country flag?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, they'll put like the population of the country and all that stuff. I mean, it did get a little bit dull after a while where similar years, I think you were commenting about how it was just on reference to a lot of the size of the countries. Here was like, oh, and here's the flag bear for this one. They are in this sport. Let me just move on. Like the comment, here's the thing. Normally these things, they're much closer together, right? They have the distancing, which is one of the reasons the ceremonies were so long this time. So there was a lot of dead air to fill. So again, I'll be the Canadian. I'll give them a little bit of credit for some of the little issues. The other part that really made me laugh though, this one, I feel so bad. Scott Russell, I'm going to say that's our head commentator. If you watched any of the Canadian Olympic review coverage that they did on CBC, he's the guy who hosts that. He's the lead anchor. He pretty much had an impossible job a few Olympics ago because the guy, Brian Williams, who had done all of our Olympics, he even moved networks from CBC to CTV the one time that CTV had the Olympics and then moved right back to CBC for the next Olympics. So he had the impossible task of taking over for a legend. And I actually think he's done a good job, but man, he was not on his game tonight. So he had the slip up about, hmm, little sexist Middle Easterns, yeah. He had the slip up of calling Patty Mills a woman. And then he comments, you know, this is during the dead air filling, this beautiful stadium, and so sad that there's nobody in the grandstands here to enjoy it. They immediately cut to a shot of people in the stands applauding, right after he's like, oh, it's beautiful here, but so sad, nobody, and then just goes dead silent again, like, oh, somebody's not giving them their pre-ceremony briefings or something.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I think I want to say, actually, before I forget, as I always bang the microphone when I get so animated talking, I think for the first time in our history as a podcast, we have had more listeners recently than there were at an opening ceremony of Olympic Games. So, yeah, I think we need to put that as a tagline, like, number four, Feedspot Olympics Podcast, more listeners in the opening ceremony. That works. Now, I've got a few things. I've written a few notes here, some of the lovely things that were said tonight. But I want to get your thoughts out. I don't know if maybe you've got it, because we'll talk about the costumes and a few other things all together in just a moment. But Jarrod, any highlights for you with Bruce, Joe and Hamish? And kind of say, I never thought I'd say this, kind of miss Edwina tonight. Jarrod, I miss my friend.
JARROD LOOBEEK: You know what, I think tonight, maybe it's because the ceremony itself was so bad, but I feel like they did a better job than usual.
BEN WATERWORTH: Look, I'm not bagging them out. I love me Bruce. Bruce, I mean, the praise Bruce is getting online, fantastic. I love Joanna Griggs. I think she is fantastic. And I don't know if you're a big Hamish McLaughlin. I actually don't mind Hamish McLaughlin. I was at a football game once, and I saw him interacting with some fans, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. So I like them, but I actually also miss Edwina Wheatley. I don't know why, but yeah, I mean, look, besides some of these things that I've written down, they didn't do too badly. I will give you that.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Can I just say that it would be so good if we, can they just put up a graphic that says the flag bearers and their sports? Because inevitably Bruce will be talking about something or somebody will interrupt, and then they'll just miss like an entire country going through. I'm like, this is your one job that you've got to do. It's just when the country comes in, who's the flag bearer? What sport do they compete in? And then fill the rest of the time with like facts, but just get like that down pat. And just to solve that issue, just put up a graphic on the screen that says who they are, what sport they compete in.
COLIN HILDING: Which man, woman as well.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, gender. Because yeah, I mean, I saw a lot of people tweeting the NBC graphics and they look really cool. And I know, Jarrod, I know that's a sore point for you, because I remember Pyeongchang, you were very animated about the fact that they didn't do that. But I have to say, all right, first of all, I believe it wasn't just Channel 7, but I think the world feed kept cutting to commercials at weird points. Like I think we missed Aruba, just as Bruce was about to tell us about the Beach Boys. They cut away. Did you get that too, Colin?
COLIN HILDING: No, but at the point that Aruba came up was the first time, a couple of times throughout it, they would cut to a split screen where they'd be showing, oh, and here are some of the athletes who aren't able to attend, because obviously the countries can't send everybody. And as they were doing that, they were talking over as Aruba came up. I'm like, no, I was really hoping one of the Canadians would give us an Aruba Jamaica.
BEN WATERWORTH: They do that with Australia, and I was a bit worried we were going to miss Canada, because you guys were not far after us, and they kind of do that split screen where they're showing the Aussies walk around. And it wasn't as bad as it usually is, because when you've got the whole team out there, they generally focus on them for a long time. Okay, so I've got some good highlights here. All right. Hamish McLaughlin. Iceland. The land of foreign ice. Thought that was a good one. Bruce McEvaney went talking about the United Arab Emirates. All of those tall buildings and camels that run fast. That was pretty good. That was a nice one. Joanna Griggs when it comes to Albania. Yes, they've got a history of castles, but not many Olympians. I mean, great. You can tell Channel 7 had the rights to the cricket all of a sudden, because every single country that plays cricket... Oh, Antigua Bowl, they've got some good cricketers. Oh, there's a guy of good cricketers. Oh, Sri Lanka, great cricketers. Jarrod, remember you talking about the tennis, Jiren Pyeongchang? They got a couple of tennis nods, but holy crap, they loved their cricket tonight, didn't they?
JARROD LOOBEEK: They were obsessed. Any excuse to bring it in, it was there. They might be, maybe Channel 7 part of the bid for cricket at 2032.
BEN WATERWORTH: Maybe, maybe. But when we got the tennis, like I was counting basically until Switzerland came out, I think it was about 40 seconds until Roger was mentioned. Denmark was about 20 seconds until Mary was mentioned. Of course, you get all that. And then their obsession with basically bagging out countries' populations. It was like, yes, and the Cook Islands, here they are. You could fit their entire population into a Rod Laver arena. And then like, was it Saint, one of the countries, they were basically like, yes, and their population, smaller than Hobart. Like it was like, yeah, Hobart got a mention. The other one was like, Kyrgyzstan. They love a little fact there. The longest country's name in the world with only one vowel. Thanks. Needed to know that. That was great. The great nation of ROC. We found out that they're going to have their national anthem played as Tchaikovsky, which is very exciting. But the things that I loved is that Channel 7 liked to apparently just let everyone in the world know that countries have problems, that there's lots of death in the world. We got a montage at the beginning of the opening ceremony. Hey, everyone, remember people died? Let's have a moment to remember that. So some of the classic ones we had here came from the fact that Yemen. They've had a famine recently. Israel. Remember all those athletes who got killed that one time at the Olympics? Iraq. All the wars. Uganda. A lot of their athletes got COVID, so aren't here. Eritrea. Oh, a lot of war and civil war recently. Yep, that was pretty sad. Also, I like the fact that when Oman came out, the birthplace of Isla Fisher Jarrod, Sacha Baron Cohen's wife. I'm so glad to learn these things. Oh, and the Seychelles. They've got problems with pirates. It's pretty sad.
COLIN HILDING: Did the Germans come up and say, unfortunately, it gassed a lot of people?
BEN WATERWORTH: I was waiting for it. I seriously don't know. They get the memo like, it's a depressing time in the world right now. Seriously. And then any moment for Australia to be like dicks to other countries, Argentina come out. Yeah, we thrashed them in soccer the other night. Suck it, Argentina. Wow. I don't know what to say.
COLIN HILDING: Other than that, pretty good.
BEN WATERWORTH: I don't know if there was anything else there. I missed with it. I want to talk about the costumes. Our two stars, though. Mr Tonga. I'm going to butcher his name again. Mr Peter Tafoa Tua. We talked about him the other day. Back for his third games and loving it. But he was one up by Vanuatu. With Rio Ria Roa. He's more ripped. I mean, Jarrod, I mean, I wasn't expecting two shirtless Pacific Islanders tonight. That was great.
JARROD LOOBEEK: It's true. The trend is catching on. I don't think Peter is going to be too happy about it. But I feel like he has more of the personality to pull it off. Was the one thing.
BEN WATERWORTH: The Vanuatu Roa. Let's be honest, he looked good. But he'd be a boring conversation. Colin, was this like a big like, did the Canadians go off for shirtless Pacific Islanders?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, they again, maybe one of these double standards towards men thing. They're like, oh, obviously, he's taken a cue from the tongue in here. And then somebody else, yeah, I don't think any of the viewers are going to have a problem with that. I don't know if you had one of the female flag bears come out, you know, oiled up in a bikini if they're going to make that comment. But hey, yeah, they have to completely, maybe if the Tongan and the Vanuatu women want to follow suit, because apparently none of the viewers are going to have a problem with that.
BEN WATERWORTH: I liked there's a Canadian CBC reporter, is a Devon Herow, we follow on our Twitter account, and he was in the stadium tweeting a lot, and he was mentioning that it was so hot in the stadium that basically both of those guys had the right idea, and that basically all the athletes were getting bored during the speeches. And let's be honest, Thomas Bach, we were there, we were still going, they were laying down in the stadium because they were just like, oh. The thing that I have to mention, though, Bruce's commentary of our Tongan friend, Mr. Peter, he started off so good, he dropped a clanger, the insane bolt of flag bearers. Oh, like Bruce, what a line. And then like they're talking him up, oh, he's so good. Then he drops the line of, yeah, I think he's let the bod go a little bit though, not looking too great tonight. Just starts fat shaming him. Like Jarrod, this is probably his last ever opening ceremony, but like, is he just not caring anymore? Bruce is just fat shaming Peter?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, it was a bit of a low blow. It was the same as, I don't know, I feel like maybe the Dominican Republic, I want to say, where there was a big height discrepancy between the flag bearers. And then they're just going off banging out this guy about how short he is.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, Bruce, you're not exactly, you know, Andrew Bogut yourself, mate, you're pretty short.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, while we're talking about the other countries here and even height differences, did anybody notice the height difference of the Jamaicans?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, yeah.
COLIN HILDING: Like the guy was probably seven foot five and they got a five foot one lady. But earlier in the night, one of the Canadian commenters had a funny comment on which country was it here, Uruguay. So Uruguay comes out and they don't have full control over this. Now, sometimes having two people carry a flag, not necessarily a good idea, because how do you have two people carry something that heavy? They come out in the flags all over the place. It's like they're chasing, they're like, whoa, whoa. And they're like, whoa, it looks like Uruguay is fighting over the flag. I thought it was because of the size difference. Jamaica, they had it down. She's just like, you know what? I'm just laying a finger on the flag and letting him do the heavy lifting.
BEN WATERWORTH: The great Shirley Anne Fraser Prize. Colin, come on now, you should know her name. She's the female Australian bolt. Come on.
COLIN HILDING: She's got this hair in the Olympics.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, Naomi Osaka had that down too. Let's not let's not beat around the bush. I will say, my highlights of the countries as well, Argentina were fantastic when they came out and did their dance. I'm not usually one for American arrogance, but I love them coming out going, USA, USA. Why wasn't Australia doing our Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, oi? Come on, what's Canada's chant like? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, oi, oi, oi.
COLIN HILDING: There's also the Ugandans and the Portugal who came out with the dancing and chanting.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I was going to mention Portugal was my favourite.
COLIN HILDING: Like, I don't know, the opening ceremonies are definitely considered more formal, but I want to see more countries break that formality, because this is what's fun. It feels like in the closing ceremonies, everybody comes out with their chants and, you know, their pump up dances and stuff like that. And it really, especially in these opening ceremonies where you have to wait six minutes in between each country entering the stadium, where that's what I was entertained by. You know, I don't remember most of the other random countries sending out four people.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, and I mean, that's, I think, I don't know if that was just because of what we've got now that obviously there's no crowd, and like you still got the people coming out with their phones going, hey, look, look at the crowd. But yeah, I mean, I loved, I love those countries that kind of went that way. Like the Portugal one was great. Like those two flag bearers are kind of doing like a whirly thing. And then all of a sudden, like, everyone was just chanting and dancing. I think one of the other South American countries as well, I know I'm not talking about Portugal, and then South American, I'm referring to Argentina. They had like a really great sort of like dancing going on there as well. Jarrod mentioned, I think, off air was that Latvia kind of had the Eurovision kind of the sparkly outfits going on. Did you notice any of these other like you were quite quick to jump in there for San Marino, you know, any other Eurovision sort of connections you saw with some of the European countries?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Not really. I feel like it was like a little bit flat on Europe's part apart from Latvia. So they definitely need to up their game next time. I just think the dual flag bearers is a great idea, but like Colin said, it's really awkward in their handling of the flag.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah.
JARROD LOOBEEK: And also I feel like we're in it's 2021. Surely we can invent some system where the flag doesn't like wrap itself around the pole.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Like it can't be that hard. Like put somebody on Shark Tank to work it out because...
COLIN HILDING: Put more starch in the wash, you know?
BEN WATERWORTH: If all these countries didn't have problems, they could sort their flags out apparently. Yeah, I wasn't a fan. I have to say I wasn't a fan of the dual flag bearer thing. It was awkward.
COLIN HILDING: It was just, you know, it was very awkward. Aside from even the awkwardness of nobody really knew how to carry these things together, it really does diminish the flag bearers, because when you have one flag bearer, you're paying attention when they say, and this is the person, when you have to pay attention to two names, and you're trying to look, and they're wearing masks half the time, you're like, so which one's the guy, which one's the woman? You just sort of lose track. And a lot of these countries that only send a half dozen athletes, you have two flag bearers for the opening, two flag bearers for the closing ceremonies. I mean, two thirds of your Olympians are going to be flag bearers. It doesn't feel special for whoever ends up carrying it. I would be all for it. Maybe it's different. In Canada, long before they had this, I think it's always sort of been a 50-50 split, even if that's not intentional. Maybe it's just we have a good split of male-female athletes in recognition. But if you want to say, okay, well, if you have the option, you can do two or you can do one male and one female for the opening and closing, just something so we don't have to have all the athletes in these smaller countries all getting to be flag bearers.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, and this is a problem too when you do have some of these Middle Eastern countries where it's a struggle for them because they're still very male-centric. As you were saying, like, if you got one female athlete as who's not compete, like, I mean, it kind of then automatically people are going to judge them because, oh, look at them, typical Middle Eastern, like Canada does, just judges them. And like, in principle, it's a great idea. But like, yeah, I feel like Australia is kind of the same. Like, we kind of spread it around. Like, I mean, Anamise was our last one and, you know, kind of it does get spread around with Lauren Jackson was London from memory. So, yeah, like, I mean, it's kind of not like a thing that, like, every single country has only ever set a male flag bearer. It's like, it's kind of, you know, they're acting like this was like the most, you know, sexist thing ever. Like, it wasn't fair. Two flags. Why not have two flags? You know? Show the pride of two flags.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, well, that's actually I thought you were saying like, come up with a different flag for your country, you know? But no, if you have two flag bearers, they each carry their own flag. Yeah, there's no problem with that. They don't have to be sharing it and struggling and fighting over it, spinning around.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I like this idea of like, you know, like one has to be your country's flag, but the other could just be, I don't know, like the flag of Kraft dinner. Like, I don't know, official supplier of the Canadian Olympic team or something like that. Jarrod, we could have, well, it's not Swiss anymore. It's the Yo Bro thing, like whatever it is, like, you know, just have a flag with Bruce on it, like, celebrate his last, like, give us a creative freedom, Jarrod.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Let's get one to carry the flag and the other one to carry the sign that says what country it is.
BEN WATERWORTH: There you go. See, like, that's perfect. Like, you are the flag bearer or the sign holder. Like, that's kind of cool. Like, I would, I would appreciate that. Anything else that we're missing? I mean, uniform. I'm thinking I like Italy's basically had to wear sunglasses. Like, they were so bright. I don't know what's going on there. Britain's was boring as all hell. Germany's looked like they were representing Australia. I don't know why Germany wearing like green and gold. I liked Canada's. I liked the jacket that we were talking about off air that you can't even seemingly buy. Australia's very traditional, very kind of, you know, formal. Jarrod, I mean, any ones that you can remember that stood out to you?
JARROD LOOBEEK: A lot of the stands were great. Kazakhstan, their, particularly like their flag bearers looked great, but then all of the stands who were wearing kind of, I suppose, similar to like a Fez style hat, I think just looked great.
BEN WATERWORTH: I agree. And there was one of the, I'm trying to find which country it was, but it had a great outfit. I'll find that in a second. Colin, were there any to you that stood out for you in terms of the uniforms?
COLIN HILDING: I wish I could remember which one it was, but the female flag bearer had, I don't even know what you would call it. It's like a wicker basket almost around her chest, and it just had the name of the country written across the front. It was one of the last countries that came out. I can't remember who it was.
BEN WATERWORTH: Was it America? Not quite. The one I'm thinking of is Tuvalu. Tuvalu. I like they kind of had like a sort of a...
COLIN HILDING: That's the one. I think that's the one I was...
BEN WATERWORTH: Are you thinking the same one? That might be it. No, great one. And actually the one thing I liked, and I was a bit weirded out that Australia didn't come out fourth last though, based on how they were doing it, but I kind of liked how they made like the US third last, France second last, and then took like kind of the nod to the next two hosts. I liked that idea. Maybe it was a bit too late to shove Australia fourth last, given that, you know, it's only been like a couple of days. So I kind of liked that idea. So I don't know if that's something they will do moving forward. Yeah, but I final final take on the opening ceremony. Am I being too bold in saying worst opening ceremony ever? Because I'll say, like I can't quite remember the Antwerp 1921. It's been a long time since I've watched that opening ceremony. You know, St. Louis was a long time since I watched it. Athens 1896. I mean, it was good, but it's been a long time. But I did, you know, used to watch the Olympic Channel quite often earlier this year, and they would always have a random opening ceremony on. I think I saw the Lillehammer opening ceremony about 80 times. And I hope that if we ever do go back and do commentary and opening ceremonies, we can discuss that Lillehammer one, because those Norwegians have got some dark fucked up minds. There's some crows and there's some weird stuff going on in that opening ceremony, which I still don't understand. But Jarrod, I mean, look, of the opening ceremonies that you know, where would you rate this? Is this the worst you've seen or is that a big call fresh after watching it?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think so. Like I started, I suppose, watching from like 2000 onwards. So yeah, out of all those, this is bottom of the pile.
BEN WATERWORTH: Colin?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah. And again, you know, I'll give the benefit of the doubt. You know, they probably didn't want to go all out the way it was originally planned. But regardless of whether there's an excuse or not, I mean, I'm not going to be rewatching this at any point. Sometimes I'll pop on the opening ceremonies for some Olympics and just sort of flick through and I'm like, Oh yeah, wasn't that great? Wasn't that great? There's no need to revisit this one unless it's just to hear the commentary fails.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, just going over the summer once in this millennium, like, I mean, Sydney, great, we're biased, of course. Athens, I thought was pretty decent. We had a tree in water and it was kind of cool. Beijing, iconic. London is probably my favourite opening ceremony I've ever watched. Rio looks amazing now compared to Tokyo. And then Tokyo was pretty rubbish. So Paris, no pressure. I want frogs. I want you running away from people. I want Cresson.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Life of the headings.
BEN WATERWORTH: Exactly, the headings all the way. Marie Antoinette. Yeah, I want all the Frenchiness that I can fret. I want Jean Reno out there just like being French. Just French it up. I want all the Frenchiness.
COLIN HILDING: I want Pepe Le Pew.
BEN WATERWORTH: Pepe Le Pew is big return to the world in 2024. And LA, I want just Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood. I want LeBron. I want all the Lakers. I want everything. LA, all the pressure. And Brisbane, fuck, brilliant. It's going to be amazing. We already talked about that the other night.
COLIN HILDING: Ben and Jarrod.
BEN WATERWORTH: The iconic duo reunite after breaking up from their time together and Off The Podium. They're finally back performing together. We've got a few things to talk about in terms of, go over some results from the day before the ceremony, and then we'll look ahead to our first day of competition and some of the other news. In terms of the, I guess, the team one since we last spoke the other day for both Canada and Australia. I mean, Australia is celebrating like we've won the fucking World Cup, Jarrod. Like, not only did the Matildas come out and beat our traditional rivals of New Zealand only by one goal. Come on. That was a pretty poor effort. We beat freaking Argentina in soccer, Jarrod. This is like, like Australia's won the Olympics already, haven't we?
JARROD LOOBEEK: That's it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Cancel the games.
JARROD LOOBEEK: We're done.
BEN WATERWORTH: We beat Argentina.
JARROD LOOBEEK: We did. This is so, like, completely unexpected. From what I watched, I not undeserved, but I do feel like Argentina kind of were the better team, but that's just soccer for you. But now, like in typical Australian fashion, just from that one win that we shouldn't, from a match we shouldn't have won, now it's they're an outside chance for a gold medal. Like straight away, hyping them up. I'm like, you know, what's going to happen now is that we're going to lose all the other pool matches, failed to even make it out of the group stage.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yep.
JARROD LOOBEEK: But just straight away, they're like, oh, the team always knew that they had it in them. They're going for gold now. They're genuine medal contenders. I'm like, are we really? I'm like, let's just turn it back a little bit. Be happy with the win, celebrate, but let's focus on just getting out of the group stage still.
BEN WATERWORTH: And let's be honest, if we had to win our very first football medal, it will not be the men. It will be the women. We are okay in women's football, but we are in the group of death, remember? But the US did get thrashed by Sweden, so who knows how that will come about there. And in softball, the good news is that we learned how to win against Italy, 1-0. So that chance, again, our bronze medal showdown with the Canadians. It's a big game tomorrow. We'll talk about that in a moment. But Canada, sadly, in the softball lost yesterday to the US, but only by one. So, you know, it was a close match, Colin. Were you keeping an eye there on the Canadian softballers out there and their disappointing loss to your Southern rivals?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, well, it was disappointing. I was recording it so that I could watch it, as anybody saying does watch any type of baseball, so you could skip through half of the game. But unfortunately, I thought I turned all the notifications off of my phone. I did turn them off from CBC. Apparently, I didn't turn them off from TSN, because TSN spoiled it for me as soon as it was over. So I never ended up watching it. I did get to see some of the rowing though last night. Canada had three athletes row, all of them advanced. That was exciting.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, well, I was going to mention the rowing in just a second, but we'll get to that. But I'm glad that you caught that.
COLIN HILDING: Sorry to steal your thunder.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, you should, Colin. I'm very organised today, all right?
COLIN HILDING: Maybe I should just host this going forward.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, you can host it tomorrow then. I don't think you've ever hosted one of these. Yes, you are. You're a very busy man. I'm just looking at the other game in the softball. Is it a game or a match in softball? What's the technical term here? Whatever. Japan beat Mexico 3-2 if you're playing at home. So the standings in the softball with the grudge match tomorrow, Australia versus Canada. This is going to be the one. It's going to go for bronze. We are both equal third right now. We are tightly fought, but we're just ahead of you because, no, that can't be right because we had more runs scored against us.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, surely our goal difference, our run difference isn't great.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, how it works is according to the standings, if you finish in the top two, you go to the gold medal match. If you finish third and third or third and fourth, you go into the bronze medal match. And if you're last, you suck. So basically right now, the standings are we are equal third, we are playing for bronze. So tomorrow's game is a preview for the iconic bronze matchup between us. It will be battling out. How you feeling Colin? Australia versus Canada, traditional softball rivals.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I know this is this is a grudge match. This is what he needs between the teams. It needs to be contested inside of a steel cage, barbed wire, something. It's going to be brutal, but I'm excited because we get to well, one or two of us will get to have bragging rights on the next episode.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, this is the thing. Jarrod's like 100% Australian. You're 100% Canadian. I'm sort of half. Well, not really half and half. I'm more like 80, 20, but like I'm wearing a Canadian shirt right now. In the soccer, football, soccer, whatever you want to call it, all the men's results yesterday, New Zealand picked up their very first win ever in Olympic soccer. And last. And last. We could eat the screens across the Dutch, couldn't we? Just like when they won two bronze at the Winter Olympics.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, we thought Australia was celebrating hard about beating Argentina. New Zealand. National holiday.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I messaged Nick. I'm like, Nick, do you watch it? Oh, no. You won. Oh, cool. Pretty much New Zealand's reaction. The other important one, I think, the gold medal rematch from Rio. And I've got a bit of a soft spot, obviously, for my Germans in the soccer, but sadly went down to Brazil 4-2. And Mexico and France, another big one. Mexico 4-1 over the French. So, yeah, we don't really care too much about that, do we? Now, you mentioned the rowing, Colin. Yeah, talk up your Canadians. Go over your Canadians again. How many did you get through to the repertorges or the finals or the semifinals? Because it depends on the category of rowing, doesn't it, when it comes to what you do?
COLIN HILDING: Now, I wish I could remember the names. In the single skulls, both a man and woman advanced. And then it was, I believe, in the fours, the men's team advanced as well. What I really want to talk up is the commentary, because rowing is not necessarily one of these sports that you have some exciting commentary for, but I'm going to be keeping my eye on the colour commentator, what's his name here, Adam Creek, who had won in the men's eights in, I think it was London or Beijing, something like that. I don't think I've heard him before, but wow, he makes the sport exciting. I mean, I've never heard somebody get animated. At one point, he's talking about how the paddles hit the water. And when you're watching rowing, it's five or six minutes of okay, and they're slightly pulling ahead. But he's talking about how the paddles hit the water and how the water flings up. And then he starts doing sound effects. He goes, and he's calm at one point, and then the paddle goes in the water. Fling! And then back in the water. Fling! I've got another recording of that. Maybe I'll actually pull that to share with you on the next episode. This guy's gold. We need to get him on to do some commentary.
BEN WATERWORTH: I just want to have all sports with some person doing commentary. This is great. Jarrod, did you watch any of the rowing? I didn't get up in time for the rowing, and I was going to watch the archery, but Channel 7 decided not to show any archery, even on their apps of everything. 45 channels of live, no archery, apparently. It was too busy watching Antiques Roadshow or something on 7Mate. Did you watch any of the rowing this morning?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I did see a little bit, but I had the opposite problem. I started watching it too early, so I was seeing all the single skulls and all the events that we weren't in. So it was very uninteresting for the most part.
COLIN HILDING: I did see one of the Australians advance. I don't know which one it was in, though.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I'll go through these quickly. So in the women's quad skulls, Australia finished fourth, so they're through to the repacharge round. In the quad skulls and the men, Australia got second, so we are into the final. That might have been the one that you might have been mentioning. We got beaten by the Dutch, all the iconic Dutch who are winning 500 medals this time around. In the women's double skulls, Australia are through to the semi-final, which is good, we finished third, to Lithuania and the Dutch. Canada in the women's double skulls, semi-finals as well, you got second to Romania, the octopus-y of countries. The ones you mentioned in the women's single skulls, Carling Zeeman for Canada was second, so she is qualified through to the final. And Trevor Jones, iconic Canadian rower.
COLIN HILDING: They were talking him up big time.
BEN WATERWORTH: Men's single skulls, he's through, so good for him. I'm glad he got through of all the ones there. He was the one I was really hoping out there for. I will mention just in the archery quickly, so they had the ranking rounds for both men and women. Did you actually get to see archery? Colin, was archery being shown there? Because again, I'm pissed off at Canada. I like archery. Archery is one of the sports I love watching.
COLIN HILDING: I'm still trying to navigate the CBC app here because all they were showing yesterday was rowing. But I did find that if you go on what the schedule is, it'll show you what there will be live coverage for it. I'm seeing a lot more coming up. So I think there's some events that you can only stream, but they won't show it later on. Whereas the major ones, like rowing yesterday, you could go back two hours after. An hour after it started, you could start from the beginning. Whereas I think some of those other, whatever they consider minor events, which tomorrow looks like it's going to be badminton and stuff like that, you can live stream it. You just won't be able to watch it as a recap.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, it's kind of like what they're doing now. A lot of the stuff that you're never going to see handball live on Channel 7, but you can watch it on the app, things like that. I should have mentioned before, I said I was pissed off at Canada. I mean, I was pissed off at Channel 7. I'm not pissed off at Canada yet, until you beat us in softball tomorrow. The women's ranking of the archery. So the number one was Korean San Ahn. She got a score of 680 in an Olympic record. Good for you. But when it comes to the ones that we're really focusing on, Canadian Stephanie Barrett was 46 on a score of 630. Bit under par there from Stephanie. I was expecting a little bit more of her, to be honest, but you know, she's got plenty of time to catch up. And Australian icon Alice Ingle. You can't talk about archery in this country, Jarrod, without talking about Alice Ingle. I mean, the name just echoes on the halls of great archers in this country. 57th out of 64. So a bit of ground to catch up on there. 616 points, I should say, is where she finished there. Were you expecting more from her? I was expecting more from her, Jarrod.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I was a little bit, but you don't want to peak too early. Like, what's the point of setting an Olympic record in the ranking rounds?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, right. I mean, come on, like, showing off, like, oh, look at me, I'm so good. I'm going to win a medal, like, straight away.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think that's for the knockouts, when you need it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Come on, like, just check yourself before you wreck yourself. Like, I mean, I'm disappointed in you, Korea. Like, come on. And for some reason, oh, okay, so then the teams, neither Canada or Australia were in the women's team, so that doesn't really help me when it comes to that. I know, right? In the mixed team, Canada, 17th, did not make it through to the next round. Australia, 25th, did not make it through to the next round. So, disappoint, I mean, come on, I expect more from our archers, I really do. In the men's, Canada did a little bit better. Crispin Duanus, the Crispin Duanus, 16th, 665 points. Another Korean by the name of Kim G. Dock, first on 688 points there. And for the Australians, Taylor Wirtz, who I believe was part of our bronze medal winning team from a few years ago, 39th, with a score of 651. Ryan Tyak, who I also believe was part of that same team from Rio, 650 points in 42nd. David Barnes, 50th, on 648 points. So, doing well for them. Now, before we get and look to the day, because we've got plenty of things to talk about, what we've got to look forward to tomorrow. I don't know if you two looked at any athletes of the day or anything like that. I know we're a bit early. It's not day one. It's day minus one. But Colin, you were shaking your head there. Jarrod, did you have anyone that you were sort of looking at potentially? Because I've got a good one today.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I don't, so go ahead.
BEN WATERWORTH: Alright, now we're talking about the rowing. And, you know, rowing is one of these sports where you don't often feel that you're that far behind. Like, maybe a ten second if you're a bit slower. Fifteen, twenty, you know, whatever. In the single skulls, our beloved female single skulls, I'm looking here at the heat, heat number one. The winner of that heat was American Caracola in a time of seven minutes, forty-nine and seventy-one seconds through to the final. Followed two seconds behind by Belarus' Tatsyana Kilmovich. Two seconds behind. Then we had, next row was nine seconds behind. Our next row after that, twenty-two seconds behind. Then we go back to fifth, a minute and eight seconds behind, Nigerian rower Estetoko. Okay, fair enough. In last place, two minutes and twenty-eight seconds behind the winner. I feel that she's still rowing out there when the opening ceremony was going on. We've got the Sudanese rower of Ezra Kogali, who, bless her heart, did it in ten minutes and eighteen seconds. Good for her. Now, I've looked up, I've looked up Esra here. Now, not many photos. You can't find many photos of her online. Very protective, the Sudanese rowing community, I believe, here. But according to her official Tokyo 2020 Olympic bio, her hobbies include archery and swimming. So she's not just a rower, she can compete in all of them. She went to the Sudan University College for Girls. That's good to know. She speaks both Arabic and English. And she actually works at the Sudanese International Centre for Diving Technology, which is always good. And again, the only link that you can have to any information about her is a direct link to her Facebook page. So I'm looking at her Facebook page right now. She's got a lovely picture of her rowing, which of course she is, because she's an Olympian. So given that we don't have much choice today, I'm giving the athlete of the day. Well, are we happy with Ezra, Ezra Kagali, Sudanese rower?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I'm still trying to find that Facebook page, but yes.
BEN WATERWORTH: It's good for her. I tell you what, Jarrod, if we want to make the Brisbane Olympics, maybe we should go row for Sudan. We might have a chance. What do you think? We can fit some training in?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think it's an idea. Colin talked about how hard it was for the commentators to fill the dead air and the opening ceremony. Imagine filling in those couple of minutes.
BEN WATERWORTH: I will say just before I get to looking at the events and previewing tomorrow, a few news items which I thought were kind of interesting. One that I looked at the other day, actually, just when we finished recording, Jarrod, I wish we talked about this the other night. Poland made a bit of a faux pas with their swimming team. They actually selected too many swimmers. They had to send six swimmers home because they fucked up. Like shit, we've selected too many swimmers. Bit of a problem there, Jarrod, that they send too many to the Olympics. I mean, how do you do that?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Surely there were some vacancies in modern pentathlon.
BEN WATERWORTH: Just shove them in there. Why not? There's also apparently a typhoon about to hit Tokyo in the coming days, which is causing a bit of concern.
JARROD LOOBEEK: For the surf that I heard during the opening ceremony.
BEN WATERWORTH: The surfers will be very happy with that, absolutely. We had, of course, our problem the other day with one of our Australian Question Riders taking a bit of the cocaine, but our female riders have been given the go-ahead to compete in the jumping, but apparently we're not going to have a team jumping anymore, which is a bit of a shame there for that one. There's a bit of drama in the archery today. A Russian archer, sorry, a ROC archer. Russia is not competing in these Olympics, of course. Svetlana Gombeva collapsed due to the heat, and she was pushed under a tree to cool down. Again, I was going to say, did you watch it, Jarrett? We couldn't see it because that's entertaining archery, isn't it? Shove you under a tree and try and shoot your arrows from under a tree. That would work.
JARROD LOOBEEK: And yes, she's just lucky that the tree was still there, given how many they chopped down to make those rings.
BEN WATERWORTH: That's a good point. And the other one too, did you read about Guinea? I know they mentioned this in the opening ceremony, but Guinea withdrew from the Olympics yesterday. They're like, no, we're not we're not going. No, no, don't want to do it. Only to go. Actually, no, we will. We will go on the Olympics. So can they do that? Is that a thing? Like, did the IOC just let you just go, yeah, nah, and then they do it? Like, I mean, I don't know. Should we really research this a little bit more?
JARROD LOOBEEK: You think there'd be more paperwork than that?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, by the time they process that shit, like, sorry, you can't go in there anymore. It was around coronavirus, obviously. What else would it be around? We know that's why North Korea aren't there. They did it on Wednesday, but then eventually reversed their decision. So sure, why not? The only other thing I was going to mention here is the ABC have an article of what sports should be dropped from the Olympics. Did you see this article at all, Jarrod, by chance?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I did not.
BEN WATERWORTH: Now, let's go through this quickly. Baseball and softball. They've been fighting for 12 years to get back in the Olympics, and the ABC straight away are like, get rid of it. So I disagree with the ABC there. Colin, this is an article on sports that should be dropped from the Olympics, according to one of our major news sites today. So the first one, baseball, softball. Get rid of it already. They've come back for one Olympics and then tell them to piss off.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, no, no, I'm enjoying it. I think that golf would be one that I'd be OK with losing. It's not necessarily something I need to. Oh, is that coming up?
BEN WATERWORTH: Maybe coming up. Maybe. One that I actually kind of agree with, because if there's one sporting event in the world that is bigger than the Olympics, it is the World Cup. Football. Now, yes, I can understand getting rid of it because you've got its own big thing, but at the same time, it is the most popular sport in the world. So therefore, it kind of deserves its place. I mean, Jarrod, football, soccer, whatever you want to call it. I mean, yay or nay for the Olympics.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think keep it. I think in many respects, it's more interesting in the Olympics because of the age rule. Yeah. So the fact that, I mean, the top teams are still going to be the top teams, but there's a little bit more variety in what can happen as we saw the other night.
BEN WATERWORTH: I think you do the age rule and then scrap the under 23 World Cup, and just, you know, because you got the Olympics. I know with the women's age, like it's not, there's no age rule. You're allowed all your main players. Colin, I mean, look, Canada's won medals in soccer. I mean, your women's team are good. So, I mean, I'm guessing you want to keep it there.
COLIN HILDING: It's become one of the more popular sports here in Canada after the last couple Olympics. So definitely keep that. I don't know how they ever could lose that. I mean, that's where all the, it would be like losing figure skating in the Winter Olympics. That's where all your viewers come from.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, exactly. Golf is on the list as you wanted, Colin. I mean, look, I don't think any of us actually watched Golf during Rio. I'm going to make sure I'm going to watch this on it. Golf, hello, Jamie. Welcome to Off The Podium. Did you like the opening ceremony?
COLIN HILDING: Did you like the opening ceremony?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, exactly.
COLIN HILDING: Have you been able to determine if that was a man or woman yet? I swear I saw something else. Whoa, what were you looking at?
BEN WATERWORTH: What are you watching?
COLIN HILDING: I saw two girls, and it was a red and white uniform, and one had really, really short hair. Like, I want to talk to your manager, Karen.
BEN WATERWORTH: Karen, it was Karen. Karen Mews.
COLIN HILDING: You were not looking at Australia then. I don't know. Okay, gotta go. Bye.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, bye. Well, let's be honest, Kate Campbell kind of does look like a Karen. So, you know. I mean, look, Golf, I don't know. Jarrod Golf, I mean, I can see it, but at the same time, I can't watch it. Can we commentate Golf, these Olympics? Can we just go out of the way to commentate Golf?
COLIN HILDING: We have six hours.
BEN WATERWORTH: We could do a couple of holes. It's not that hard. Can we make sound effects like your rowing commentator? Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that one. Tennis, see, I like tennis in the Olympics. And yeah, I like the fact that people, it's more taken more seriously now, whereas I think when it first came into it, the big stars didn't care about. But now, yeah, I mean, we're all nodding there. Tennis Day, ABC, go away. Anyway, all right. So let's look ahead to day one of competition. We've got 11 medals to be decided today or tomorrow. It's getting confusing. It's early in the morning for us. We're going to be up in a few hours to watch this. Our first medal that will be awarded today is, get excited, it's the blue ribbon event of the Olympic Games. It is, of course, the men's 10-metre air pistol. I mean, we've all been looking forward to that for five years, haven't we? Jarrod, you've been just counting down the minutes.
JARROD LOOBEEK: You know it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. I mean, Colin, who's your pick? Who's your pick for the 10-metre air pistol? Come on.
COLIN HILDING: Whichever one has the Walther PPK.
BEN WATERWORTH: So we'll have medals decided in archery, cycling, fencing, judo, shooting, taekwondo and weightlifting. So I'm thinking from an Australia's perspective, I'm looking at the road race as our only... Don't know how we're going in the weightlifting in the women's 49k. Don't feel we're going with a chance there, but hashtag where's Richie? Is it back tomorrow, Jarrod? Do you think that's where our chances are? Iconic Tasmanian as well. So I don't know. What are we feeling for Richie tomorrow?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think a good shot. And there's Rowan Dennis. Is that right? He's the road race guy.
BEN WATERWORTH: He's the one that I think they're talking up a little bit more. I think Richie's in the time trial, isn't he? Whereas sort of they're talking about Rowan. So it's been I don't know when the last time we won a track cycling in the men's. I know we've had a couple in the women's in the last 20 or so years. But yeah, I mean, started off with a bang with not only Ozzy, but a Tasmanian. Hashtag where's Richie? So Colin, is the cycling road race a big talking point in Canada? Is there any prospects for you guys in the road race?
COLIN HILDING: Not really, but one of our most famous Olympians of all time, Clara Hughes, who's actually from Winnipeg. She was sort of the biggest star to come ever come out of cycling. And she's also somebody who has won medals in both the summer and the winter game. She was a speed skater as well. So because of that, it still gets coverage here. It's just I don't know if we've had any type of major medal contenders coming into these games.
BEN WATERWORTH: The thing that I'm also very excited for with this road race is as a big Formula One fan, they are taking part of it at the Fuji International Speedway, which is a very iconic track, motor racing track. So, yeah, it'll be interesting to kind of see that going on and how that will form the background. Mount Fuji, all that sort of stuff. I'm looking at you. You've got three Canadians in the race tomorrow, Colin. You've got Goulami Bovin, Hugo Hoelly and Michael Woods. I can pronounce that one. And our Australians, of course, Richie Port, Luke Doerridge and Lucas Hamilton. They're not Rowan. Rowan's not in that one, actually. Maybe it was one of the other. We're so good at our cyclists here.
JARROD LOOBEEK: We must be time trial specialists.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, possibly. Maybe we got that around the other way around, potentially. Tennis kicking off tomorrow as well. I'm looking at Sammy Stozer hits the court tomorrow. So does Ash Barty with Storm Sanders in the doubles. John Milliman's out there tomorrow as well. You got a couple of Canadians out there in the doubles as well. Novak's playing tomorrow. I mean, do you just time yourself around the tennis, Jarrod, and kind of everything else just falls into place?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, that's generally the way to go.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, Colin, as well for you?
COLIN HILDING: I mean, I'll catch if it's on. It's not one of these things that I feel like I have to watch it live. I'm OK if I watch it later and just avoid spoilers.
BEN WATERWORTH: Got a lot of table tennis happening tomorrow. I've got some Aussies and Canadians.
COLIN HILDING: I don't know why, but maybe it's because it's one of the few sports that gets no coverage in between the Olympics. I'm actually really pumped for table tennis.
BEN WATERWORTH: Table tennis is one of the sports I got to see at the Commonwealth Games, and it's great. It is seriously fun to watch live. That and badminton were two sports that I got to see live. Squash as well. I know you love jazz, obviously not in the Olympics, but they're fun to watch live. They actually are really good. So one of the ones I think will tune in to the app tomorrow. Swimming, obviously, it's all heats tomorrow. We've got no finals, but interesting to see how all that plays out. We've got, I mean, Jarrod, you talk about the tennis. Individual dressage starts tomorrow. How are you going to work out your day? I mean, what are you thinking right now?
JARROD LOOBEEK: It's going to have to be a split-screen scenario, I think, picture in picture.
BEN WATERWORTH: I mean, looking here for Australia, Mary Hannah on the horse, Kalanta. I mean, you think of iconic Ingressor NGOs. Yeah, absolutely. Simone Pierce on Destano for Australia riding tomorrow. And Kelly Lane riding on Cimitas. So that's always, I mean, I've heard they're good together. And for Canada, Lindsay Kellock on Sebastian. Very good Canadian horse name there, is it, Colin? Sebastian. Ride like the wind, Sebastian.
COLIN HILDING: Bye bye, little Sebastian.
BEN WATERWORTH: Chris Von Martels on Eclipse for Canada as well. I mean, Dressage. Can we commentate Dressage? We need to.
COLIN HILDING: At some point, we need to.
BEN WATERWORTH: Like Dressage is up there as well. Yeah, a few bad mittens happening tomorrow as well. Some Australians and Canadians in that one. The team sports, I will say, so obviously, it's a big grudge match. Canada, Australia and softball happening tomorrow, which in all seriousness, this is probably our bronze medal match. USA against Mexico, Japan playing Italy in the beach volleyball. We've got Canadians hitting the court, the field, the sand, Pavanamalista.
COLIN HILDING: That's all the excitement here.
BEN WATERWORTH: It is? So these are two that are a good chance for medals?
COLIN HILDING: Oh, yeah. That's probably one of our top. Not only that, when you're done going over the events, I've got something exciting to talk about with them.
BEN WATERWORTH: All right. I'm all ears in a second. For Australia, we've got McHugh and Schumann up against Norway. Actually, you've got two Canadians playing tomorrow, I should say. You've got Bansley and Brandy up against China. And so Canada's playing the Dutch. Oh, look out for the Dutch. A lot of boxing happening tomorrow as well. The preliminaries, we've got Canadian Wyatt Samford hitting the ring tomorrow in the 63, the welterweight categories there. And football wise, soccer wise, back to the women's Canada up against Chile, or Chile. And Australia up against the USA, destroys Sweden tomorrow. So we'll see how that goes. Hockey wise, Australia taking on Japan in the men's, Canada taking on Germany in the men's. Good luck there, Canada. And in the non-beach volleyball, the normal volleyball, is that politically correct? Canada are playing Italy tomorrow. I do not believe Australia has a team in the normal volleyball. And water polo, you thought the softball grudge match was big between Australia and Canada. Women's preliminary round, Group A, in the water polo, Australia versus Canada. Colin, how are you feeling for your water polo girls tomorrow?
COLIN HILDING: Grudge match number two. Yes.
BEN WATERWORTH: Jarrod, do we have more chance in softball or water polo? Are we going to take both wins tomorrow?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Well, clearly both, but I think if we had to put an assurance on one, I'm going with the water polo.
BEN WATERWORTH: Dan, I like it. I just want to mention one of my favourite sports watching the Olympics kicks off tomorrow with handball. Obviously, no Australia or Canada in either of it. But I'm going to look closely to a couple of matches here tomorrow. Obviously, you know, you got your big guns, Norway, Denmark, you know, those sort of countries. But let's watch Bahrain play Sweden in handball. I mean, if you're thinking of iconic sporting matches to go to in the world, I'm going to list Bahrain versus Sweden in men's Olympic handball as well out there. Or possibly Portugal versus Egypt. Traditional handball rivals. Blood sport tomorrow. You watch what's going on there. Colin, talk to me. What's happening? Give me some goss. I want to learn stuff from you.
COLIN HILDING: So we don't know if we have the messages to the athletes, but a commercial came up during the opening ceremony. As I said, there's tons of these sponsorship things that are debuting within the last 24, 48 hours. And aside from our good friend Evan Dunphy being this new sponsor for Craft Dinner, which has a great commercial, by the way, I saw another one for one of our divers, Megan Benfato. And it was for Kraft Peanut Butter. And they show on there that you can send your cheers, since there's no crowds present, to the Canadian athletes. So if you guys want to look up sticktogether.ca, they've only got two athletes on there right now, but you can also just send your random cheers to Canada. I don't know if it's because these are the two that they've sponsored, or if they're just going to have different athletes all the time. But one of our volleyball teams, our beach volleyball teams is on there. We can record our own cheers for the athletes. So if we don't get messages to the athletes, we can fill in whatever we can, you know, talk about shirtless Tongan man, whatever.
BEN WATERWORTH: Colin, I'm liking this idea, and I was going to suggest something too for our Aussie one, because I'm a bit confused about this deal. So let's give a bit of a crack right now. Let's see how we can go here to close off. So are we willing to send this to Melissa Humana-Paredes and Sarah Pavan?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, because they got the beach volleyball coming up. They would be the first ones up.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, so it's got, to begin your recording, cheer tap below. Hear the cheers we've sent so far. Do you reckon if I play one of these right now, this will come across? I reckon, I don't know if you guys will be able to hear this. I'll play it on my side. Okay, let's play. I'm just going to play this now. So again, you two are going to probably pretend that you're going to listen to something. Let's see if this works for you right now.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I just got this, Sarah.
COLIN HILDING: We're rooting for you. It's basically crowd noise and you record a message over it.
BEN WATERWORTH: It's a random person saying, yeah, go.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Go for gold.
BEN WATERWORTH: Thanks, Steve G from Toronto. That was Steve G, the Steve G from Toronto. I'm going to give this a crack because unfortunately, I need to work this up so that we can all be on the line together when I send this. But I think this will only be me. So let's try that. I don't know if this will work, given how my setup works. But OK, let's try this. Yeah, go Canada and beach volleyball. Volleyball that beach. Does that work? It says send cheer. All right. We just need a little information. All right. Let's put my real name here.
COLIN HILDING: I'm not afraid to send that one. Why not? I'm not ashamed.
BEN WATERWORTH: I like this.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Can we do this every day?
BEN WATERWORTH: Just use me as a guinea pig.
COLIN HILDING: What's my phone number?
BEN WATERWORTH: I've still got a Canadian phone number. Let's put that on there. I think it's dead now. I'll give that on there. What province? Well, I've still got roots in British Columbia.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Why not? City?
COLIN HILDING: Victoria?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I'm still there.
BEN WATERWORTH: I've still got an address. Still on a lease over there. So it still works. All right. Sweet. Do I acknowledge the terms and conditions?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Sure.
BEN WATERWORTH: I represent a warrant that I'm age of consent.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Sure.
BEN WATERWORTH: Do I want to receive Kraft Heinz emails? No, I don't. Jarrod, would you like to receive some?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Only if they're sending out free products.
BEN WATERWORTH: Your cheer was sent.
COLIN HILDING: Here we go. They're going to hear this.
BEN WATERWORTH: Is it on there? Can you see it already?
COLIN HILDING: I think they just put a couple of examples up. I don't know if everyone's going to be on there. They probably would screen it.
BEN WATERWORTH: There's one here from Megan's dad. Like, what does this happen here? Let's see this one from LaValle.
COLIN HILDING: I think this is random because I don't see it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, you two couldn't hear that. It was literally, Megan, it's daddy!
COLIN HILDING: Oh, I see it now, yeah.
BEN WATERWORTH: All right, cool. Everyone, do that at home. We'll do that every day now, I think. I want to try this Australia one. Colin, I don't know if you were on the episode the other day when we were trying to work this out. So Australia, on our website, have this teamoz.olympics.com.au, the fan hub, right? And they haven't updated it, Jarrod, since the other day. It's still, guess how many medals we're going to win and here's some Olympic facts. Actually, Jarrod, just quick, let's test Colin on here. We got this wrong the other day. Colin, trivia question. The high jump Olympic record is held by Charles Austin at 2.38 metres. Is this A, the height of an average ceiling in your house, B, the height of a bus or C, the height of a car?
COLIN HILDING: He's thinking. He's measuring.
BEN WATERWORTH: You're right, because we got that wrong. We thought a bus, but it is. Anyway, so they've got this thing on here, the virtual seat. So if I click on this, this is what it comes up. Don't get too excited, Colin, because Australia is a cheap bastard. So basically, show your support for the Australian Olympic teams, queue your seat in the Team Aus Stand and send your good luck message. You get a personalised graphic for social media, bonus, an invitation to join a call with an Aussie Olympian, bonus, maybe we can get it with that great female basketballer, Patty Mills, and a $10 voucher for the Australian Olympic team shop, which is not much because all the stuff is like $60. But Colin, to do this, we have to pay $10 to do this.
COLIN HILDING: Wow, I mean, come on. We've got a couple of days here. I'm sure I'll make that up in between recording episodes.
BEN WATERWORTH: You'll be able to pay us back. So I'm going to do this. Shall I use my real name again? I'm not ashamed of this. Let's do it. All right. This is live on air. Let's do it. I don't even know my mobile number off my heart since I've moved back to this country. Oh, there it is. Cool. Real email address. What year was I born? 1912. There we go. Favourite sport. Optional. Oh, optional. I like optional. Modern pentathlon. I've got a t-shirt. Got to put it on there. State. Tasmania. All right. Name you would like to appear on your seat. So I don't have to put my real name. I'm going to put it on there. Why not? Fan message. Optional. 100 words max. Now, what do we put on there? Hashtag. Bring back Chloe.
COLIN HILDING: Can somebody confirm for me if Patty Mills is a man or woman? I've heard stories from Canadians.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, in saying that, I have to tick a box here that says, I agree to only use these digital assets to send a fan message of support to the Australian Olympic team. I will not use foul language, derogatory language or language may be deemed offensive. I will not seek to promote a non-Olympic brand in. Ah, no, hashtag, listen to Off The Podium, damn it. I understand that the AOC owns all intellectual properties, okay. I give permission for the Australian Olympic Committee to republish the graphics, including my name and fan message, across each of their digital platforms. Cool. And if I breach any of the points above, AOC has a right to request that I remove the T-Mod stand graphic from a digital... So they can't remove it, they request that I remove it. So I could just say, no.
COLIN HILDING: Will they pay you back?
BEN WATERWORTH: I want my money back. And as Jarrod rightfully pointed out the other day, you'd think the AOC would just hire a moderator instead of charging you $10. All right, let's see here. I don't know if I'll get away with the whole Paddy Mules gender thing. Should we say like, great job, Kate, for not dropping the flag? Hopefully you won't choke into swimming as well. Fuck it. Is that all I can write? Flag. Hopefully you will keep up that luck in the race you swim. Remember, swim, swim, swim, and you will win, win, win. I'm paying $10 for this. Better be good. Alright, I'm hoping that by paying $10, I can get access to the others or something like that. Alright, we won't go over my credit card details. I actually need to get my wallet. Hang on, talk amongst yourselves.
COLIN HILDING: This is so good.
JARROD LOOBEEK: This is the content I look forward to.
BEN WATERWORTH: 2.45 in the morning, Jarrod's begging to go to bed. He's like, fuck, why am I awake still? I've got tennis to watch tomorrow and dressage.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, man, so I'll just stay up now.
BEN WATERWORTH: May as well. Alright, paying $10 including GST. Come on. Alright, this better give me, this doesn't give me access to anything. I'm suing the AOC.
JARROD LOOBEEK: I can claim that back on tax, right?
BEN WATERWORTH: Tax deductible, the AOC is a non-profit. I can download my seat. What does that even mean? I just have a graphic that's got a yellow seat with 2038 on it that says, Ben Waterworth, hashtag Tokyo Together, in quotes, great job, Kate, in not dropping the flag. Hopefully, you will keep up that luck in the race you swim. Remember, swim, swim, swim, and you will win, win, win.
COLIN HILDING: You know what? You can screenshot that and put it up on our Instagram.
BEN WATERWORTH: Is that it? What do I get $10 for?
COLIN HILDING: That's ridiculous.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, hang on. Okay. What you get, your personalised graphic, you will be invited to join a T-Moz fan call with an Olympian. So I don't even get to choose? You're just going to go like, here's random badminton player, talk to them? I'm recording that, and we're playing that on Off The Podium. I don't care what they say. And wow, I've got a $10 voucher, minimum spend $40. I can't even buy anything. I just wasted $10 to get a graphic I could have made on Photoshop.
COLIN HILDING: I want to see the other ones. Think of all the fun that people are going to have with our Instagram now.
BEN WATERWORTH: I'm so pissed off with the AOC right now. Well, this has been fun. It's quarter to three in the morning. I'm looking forward to day one. In all seriousness, the opening ceremony did not live up to expectations, but we are here. The Olympics are here. Day one. It's finally, finally here. We will be back tomorrow. During, I don't know if we're working out, we're doing commentary. We'll talk about this off air. We will be bringing you some form of recap episode tomorrow, maybe with commentary or not. If you like the show and you want to stay up to date, you don't want to miss any of these episodes, subscribe to us on the podcast channel. Search for Off The Podium on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts. We're all good podcasts are sold and downloaded. We don't charge you $10 like the AFC. You can download us for free because we're that good. Also on social media, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, use hashtag OTP. A big shout out to all the people that we were talking to tonight during the opening ceremony. Had a lot of fun doing that. And we are very much looking forward to bringing you daily coverage over the next 16 glorious days of Olympic action. We're going to come up with athletes of the day. We're going to watch things. Channel 7 fails, CBC fails, you name it. We will have it. Shameless plug for Woolies. Go and get your Aussie heroes. I still haven't gotten my Chloe, but thanks to Chloe for liking my tweet, complaining that I haven't gotten your Twitter, your sticker today. So even she's pissed off that I haven't got one. So that's the beauty of Chloe. Sad that you're not there in the Olympics. But get pumped up, get excited. Jarrod, go to bed spotty. But thank you for joining us. And bring on the dressage.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Bring on the dressage in droves.
BEN WATERWORTH: And Colin, thank you for pointing out this thing of shouting at Canadian athletes.
COLIN HILDING: That we don't charge for because we're not capitalists like Australia's.
BEN WATERWORTH: Because you're apparently well funded. We just won the Olympics. That's how they're paying for Brisbane. They're like, fuck, we won the Olympics. Shit, trust me, we're sending fan messages. Thank you for joining us. I'm off the podium. We'll speak to you tomorrow. Good night.
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