PyeongChang 2018 Day 4 Review
After the silver success of day 3 for Australia and the gold success for Canada can it be repeated with a podcast of the same quality? Well for Canada sure, but we can faceplant like an Aussie snowboarder to make your day even better! There is plenty of time to relive Canadian success, as well as work out why Canada has something against Chloe Kim. There is also talk about Australians including just whether or not Scotty James can be the next Campbell sister, as well as discussing why PyeongChang has trouble coming up with a good logo and motto and find out why we might've killed a luge athlete by the time you listen to this episode.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Please note this is an automated transcript that may contain errors.
BEN WATERWORTH: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Off The Podium, An Olympic Podcast. As we come to you, I was gonna say with exclusive coverage, but it's not really, but fuck it, everyone else says exclusive with everything these days. Our exclusive coverage of the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. We are on the fourth day. It's been another golden day for Canada, and it's been another day for Australia as we go over what's happened on another exciting day of the Winter Games. Joining us all the way from the plains of Inyu, where we've already learned everything there is to know about Matty Graham in the last 24 hours because Channel 7 has told us his entire life story and is no doubt replaying it as we record this episode. I do, of course, speak of Jarrod Loobeek. Jarrod, welcome back to Off The Podium.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Thank you, it's great to be back, and I enjoyed today watching Matt Graham win his 10th silver medal at the Olympic Games.
BEN WATERWORTH: Only 10? Wow, you must have been busy today. I've heard it at least 30 times, so I don't know what you're up to. And also joining us on the line is a man who's not actually here because he's at work. Today, that is Colin Hilding. Hello, Colin, welcome to Not Being On Off The Podium.
COLIN HILDING: Oh, thank you, and I'm still recovering from two back-to-back days of the moguls. It's funny, because even though we have tons of sports to cover here, they showed both moguls finals at least three times, and I gotta be honest, I watched them all the way through at least three times.
BEN WATERWORTH: Wow, I'm jealous of Canada, the fact they only show events three times. You know, I mean, that sounds good to me. 20 times for us in the last five minutes has been long enough. But it's been another golden day for Canada. I guess we start off with Canada, because when it comes to Australia, Jarrod's picture pretty much summarizes our day. It is a snowboarder on her face. But let's start with, I'm not even gonna, I'll get to Australia's results in a second, but give us some exciting news, Colin Hilding. And I mean, you can always just give us your thoughts, obviously, on 24 hours ago with Mikhail Kingsbury and your figure skaters as well. But on day four, it's more gold for Canada and more bronze for Canada.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and the gold, I think, we fully expected. I thought if there was anybody who was gonna challenge Canada, it would have been Norway since they beat them in the first game. But of course, we beat them in the semifinals. So I pretty much assumed it was a lock, but I still had to watch it anyways. And I don't know if either of you watched it. I mean, it was called very early. Yeah, and I wouldn't even say it's called very early. It was like conceded very early, like I think at the end of the sixth end. And I think that caught Laws and Morris a little bit off guard too. But when we get to the luge, I think that's going to be the more interesting thing to talk about, because there is kind of a fun story about that for Canada.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I watched, I legitimately watched every single medal event for Canada this evening. For us, at least at the time of Jarrah and I recording this, I know it's obviously morning for you, but I saw every single one. They came all pretty quickly with each other. So it was exciting times there for Canada. And I was on the phone, Mallory's not with us, but I was on the phone to Mallory while we were watching this. But luckily, you weren't on the line with us yesterday, Colin, but I did say that Canada was a lock for this gold. And I said, if Switzerland beat them, I would sing the French national anthem word for word in French on air today. And thank God that didn't happen. Jarrah, did you watch the curling? I mean, I'm enthralled by curling. I'm calling it right now, Australia, like fuck the AFL, fuck the NRL, cricket, all this crap that we've put up with our entire lives. Curling is the new thing. I love this sport. I want this on primetime every night. Cancel home and away, cancel my kitchen rules. I want 7pm to 10pm every single night of the week, curling. How does that sound, Jarrah? Think we can make it happen?
JARROD LOOBEEK: That sounds good to me. It is such a great sport, and it is just so much more in depth than you initially think, and there's so much more strategy to it. And it isn't boring television, which is very surprising when you think about the concept, but it does kind of translate well to TV. And yeah, it was a great match, and Canada just, I mean, they trounced Switzerland.
BEN WATERWORTH: I just love, we talked about this yesterday, but I just love the fact that these players are mic'd up, and you can hear everything that they're saying, they're yelling at each other, they're talking to each other, they're right next to their competitors on the actual playing surface. Like you don't have this in other sort of ones where they're just so close and being able to do this. I mean, Colin, this is legitimately, Mallory couldn't answer this for us because I don't think she realises that curling's a thing. She's not really Canadian. I think he's actually American. Don't tell her that. But like, I mean, this is legitimately prime time for you, is it not, during the week?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I mean, curling will get coverage for pretty much any type of championship. If we have like the national championships, of course that's getting coverage on CBC, but even like provincial championships will get coverage. And there's tons of different mini tournaments that are all over the place. And all of those will be aired live no matter what time they're on at.
BEN WATERWORTH: And this, I mean, mixed doubles is new, am I not mistaken? So this is the first time this has been held. So, I mean, if you've got mixed doubles, like you've got your men's, you've got your women's, you've got mixed doubles, where's the men's doubles and the women's doubles? So that, you know, come Beijing, that Canada can just basically, what, win like six gold medals in curling? Like, if I'm doing my men's, no, five. So like, I mean, we can do that, can't we? Like, you know, may as well.
COLIN HILDING: I mean, we have enough curlers. There's a reason why we've never had back to back, well, we had back to back golds, but never had back to backs with the same curling teams. I think for, when we get into the team curling, you're going to see a lot of the countries have the same teams that have been out in the last two Olympics. And in Canada, it's just a complete crap shoot. I mean, it's whoever happens to come out. It's like the Stanley Cup, you know, it may be Pittsburgh this year, but it might be Washington next year.
BEN WATERWORTH: And Caitlin Laws, who I can say is amazing. She's obviously already a gold medallist from Sochi in the women's. Is she competing in the women's again, or is it like you're doing the double so you can't be with the women?
COLIN HILDING: No, I think what it came down to is they had the female team decided by whatever tournament was. I mean, I don't follow curling so closely. I know how often we get qualifying goals.
BEN WATERWORTH: It's amazing.
COLIN HILDING: Because there's so much curling. I can't bother when they've got the Flynn-Flawn divisional championship going on on TSN.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Hey, leave Flynn-Flawn out of this.
COLIN HILDING: But I know it was when her team, Jennifer Jones, who won the gold last time, she was on Jennifer Jones' team. And when they missed out on the Olympics this time, that's when they put this team together with her and John Morris. And I remember watching the trials for the mixed doubles. And they had been put together like a week or two before that trials even started. And really only a month before the Olympics. So that was kind of the excuse they used when they lost that first match was that they've only been together for a month and they've only curled together for one tournament. So I don't think it was an issue of, well, you couldn't compete in both. Maybe you can't. But this was solely, well, I have one last shot to get into the Olympics again. It's crazy that it wasn't Jennifer Jones, the captain of the team, but it was just one of her subordinates, Caitlin Laws, who ends up becoming the star for Canada.
BEN WATERWORTH: I just love the detail that Wikipedia has on John Morris. Who can I just say?
COLIN HILDING: Oh yeah, I was gonna read that.
BEN WATERWORTH: In brackets, curler, because can I just point out, the amount of John Morrises on Wikipedia isn't crazy. Under the sports category alone, you have John Morris, cricketer, John Morris, Australian cricketer, John Morris, New Zealand cricketer, John Morris, South African cricketer, John Morris, pitcher, John Morris, baseball pitcher, which is different to a normal pitcher, apparently. There's like 12 John Morrises here, including a former Lawn Bowls competitor for New Zealand. Oh, look out for him in the Commonwealth Games. But like, Colin, I mean, take, look, this is so detailed. Is this a regular thing for Curlers? There's a nice little picture of him sitting in a little chair with his Vancouver gold, and we've just got, what's a Brea? What's Brea appearances? Tim Horton's Brea.
COLIN HILDING: Briar.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, the Tim Horton's Briar. Okay, it's not as a Flint, Canada, sorry.
COLIN HILDING: That's one of the main tournaments that is not part of the Flint Flawn Divisional. But, no, I mean, I thought it was funny because I think because Caitlin Laws is from Winnipeg, obviously, I kind of just looked at this as her team, and I didn't give John Morris, I knew that he was on the Vancouver winning team, but I didn't really give him a second look until this morning, and just reading through this. Well, we'll run through the amount of accolades he has, outside of Curling here, which is absolutely hilarious. The main one being that, of course, he was named in 2010, Entertainment Tonight Canada is one of the most eligible bachelors on the Valentine's Day special.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, well, happy anniversary! Is that Valentine's Day?
COLIN HILDING: I just love this, though, aside from being an Olympic gold medallist, or two-time Olympic gold medallist in Curling, he's also a certified personal trainer, serves as a full-time firefighter for the Rocky View Fire Services. He's drawing on his degree in kinesiology from Wilfrid Laurier University. He also co-authored the book Fit to Curl, a sports-specific training manual, was featured on ET Canada's Valentine's Specials by Canada's Most Eligible Bachelors, has been a big brother with Calgary in the area of BBBS since 2011, and also has a passion for cooking, is a certified holistic nutritionist and volunteers at the Ronald McDonald House to cook nutritious meals for families who are staying at the house and are going through difficult times.
BEN WATERWORTH: I was waiting for you to get to that. Has a passion for cooking. Good for you. A good old Johnny Moe, he's his nickname here.
COLIN HILDING: Did you?
BEN WATERWORTH: You go, please go ahead.
COLIN HILDING: I was gonna say, did you see the shots in the crowd afterwards where his family was there, and they all had names like Father Moe, Brother Moe, Mama Moe?
BEN WATERWORTH: Didn't quite see that, I kind of cut away quickly because it was kind of so quickly the way this was ending, and then I was trying to watch the short track and then the long track all at once. I only had two screens, I needed three. But no, the one bit I saw was they had a cutaway to the Canadian curling coach, and he looks like a happy man. He was thrilled that they won gold. He just sat there and just stared blankly. Can I just say, the curling was so well attended in the preliminary rounds, I think the Koreans just weren't interested anymore. They saw curling for two days, and they just went home. It was like all of Johnny Moe's family were there. That was it. They were all at the short track. They were going off there.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, it wasn't a packed house. But I mean, still, I think there was a big crowd reaction when Canada did win. I think it was also just the crowd was sort of caught off guard again, as Laws and Morris were. Oh, they gave up? All right, we love to see quitters in the Olympics.
BEN WATERWORTH: Typical, typical Swiss, just giving up. Jarrod, I would say that it's gonna be on my reading list, but I have to learn to read first. But is Johnny Moe's book fit to curl on your shelf currently?
JARROD LOOBEEK: It is not, but I do love the name. You'd think with a sport as strenuous as curling, you'd go with something like the art of curling, but it's good to know that there is a high level of fitness involved in the sport.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I think Jamie might have found a new Henry Cavill here or something, Colin, because he's a firefighter, he's a personal trainer, he looks good pushing a curling stone. I mean, what's not to love about Johnny Moe here? I mean, you know, stuff, Caitlin Laws, I think I might be into Johnny Moe here.
COLIN HILDING: Well, I mean, not to mention, Jamie's got a thing for certified holistic nutritionists as well.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, who doesn't? I mean, 2018? I'm just trying to jump onto eBay here to see if I can pick up a copy of Johnny Moe's Fit To Curl, but sadly, eBay Australia doesn't seem to have it in stock, which is a bit of a surprise. Anyway, we'll keep an eye on him. Find if he's got a Twitter column, we should tweet him and say, hello. For Australians, though, sadly, there was no repeat of any medals. I mean, we only had one chance to, well, actually, no, we had multiple chances in the cross-country. But as we were on air earlier, we, of course, did speak of Emily Arthur, who Jarrod's faceplant picture, she ended up being 11th overall in the half-pipe, which is pretty decent. I mean, that's, you know, she made the final. I was a bit mean to her earlier today when we did that episode, but congratulations to Emily for making the final. She did a great job. Jarrod, did you hear her? She broke a nose. Did she chip a tooth? Did she do any damage to herself at all?
JARROD LOOBEEK: From what I heard, everything was fine. She said that she would just look like Shrek for a couple of days and then get over it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, she's like one of the most attractive Olympians I've ever seen. If she looks like Shrek, then Jesus Christ, I love Shrek even more. I don't even know what that means. But also today, the big news, I guess, in terms of the men's half pipe is Scotty James, our flag bearer, the man of the moment, the man of the channel seven, is getting ready to pump the shit out of so much. Who's Matt Graham? I don't know because Scotty James into the final of the men's half pipe in second position. Now, Jarrod, after we got up here, I watched this, and he did all right in his first run, got an 89.0. The second run, he came out absolutely kicked some ass. He got a 96.75. I'm like, holy crap, Scotty James, you little beauty, you're going to go into this first. Get stuff, Sean White, you big floppy head mullet. And what happened? Sean White came out and did better than prick. He got a score of 98.50. But the good news is as well for Australia is it's not just our Scotty James who got in. It's also our Kent Callister who got in as well. The esteemed, can't wait to buy Kent Callister snowboarding on PlayStation 4 after these Olympic Games. He qualified for the final as well. So we'll have two Australians in the halfpipe final. Sadly for Nathan Johnston, he did not make it into the final, but he at least tried his best. And, in the cross-country skiing, Jessica Yeaton was 48th in the ladies' sprint, Amy Watson was 58th, and Casey Wright, disappointed she will be with 63rd. I think she was aiming for at least top 55. And in the men's sprint, Phil Bellingham was 65th overall. Callum Watson I thought was meant to be competing. I guess we got him wrong, he didn't. But that's basically all from the Australian perspective. See we went through that pretty quickly. Anything else outside of, well, I mean, just, re-inform everyone, Colin, how, actually no, before I go to Colin, just quickly, I should get Jarrod's opinion on that. Did you see any of the cross-country? Did you see Scotty? What would you take on the Australians on day four, Jarrod?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I saw some of the cross-country, they didn't really show the Australians since they didn't make it out of kind of the qualification stage. So I think the sprint finals, it's definitely a lot more interesting being like a shorter track event and going that much faster, you can kind of just watch the whole thing in the one sitting. So that was exciting to watch. And I think I didn't see the women's, but in the men's, it did come down to a photo finish for the silver and bronze medal. Yeah, and then in the half pipe, I'm just interested to see how they can kind of take it up a level with scores 96 and 98 already. And that's just qualification. And the fact that they have three runs in the final, I just think, I mean, it's going to be... I mean, we're headed for a potential score of 100 here, like a perfect score, the way that they're going.
BEN WATERWORTH: And I think the interesting thing is that there really does seem to be this kind of one-upmanship between Sean White and Scotty James, which I like. So maybe we'll give Sean White the qualification rounds, and Scotty James can take it. Because this is generally the one that we've all been really aiming towards as Australians, is Scotty James. No offence to Britt Cox, no offence to Lydia Lassler or David Morris, any of the other ones. Chumpy, of course. I think Scotty James is the one that we're all looking forward to. But how are you feeling right now, Jarrah? Can I just ask you this? Do you think this is, again, this is where it's all at? Is he going to live up to expectations, or is this going to be another Campbell's sister?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Um, I tend to lean towards Campbell's sister just because I'm a bit of a pessimist, and I just think that, um, Sean White, there's just something about American athletes where they don't really seem to buckle under pressure as much as Australians do.
BEN WATERWORTH: That is a very good point. I'll tell you what, though, Jarrah, and when we get a bit closer to our man Chumpy, he's got a bit of a feeling about Chumpy, these Olympics. I think that, you know, it's kind of going to come together for him, these games. But we'll get to that. I don't know, I just feel something weird about Chumpy. That sounds really inappropriate. Colin, Canada, you've mentioned slightly, but what else happened for Canada on day four?
COLIN HILDING: You know, I just want to say, obviously, there's a huge difference. I did have trouble finding results during Rio, but finding full results for the Winter Olympics for Canada is nearly impossible. The best I could find is just sort of our main athletes here, but I guess that's all we really need to talk about. So obviously, we talk about Laws and Morris winning the gold in the sixth end. It was conceded by Switzerland, those quitters. They will be stoned and flogged when they get back to Switzerland. The bronze medal, which I actually didn't see because I thought it was over, was Kim Booton who won the bronze in the women's short track 500 metre. Now, the more interesting thing was Marianne St. Jolet, who we'll talk about later on in the My Name is, she, it was kind of a questionable disqualification that she had. I don't know if either of you saw it, in one of the heats, they called it a false start, but like I watched it even over again on the instant replay. It wasn't a false start. She definitely bumped one of the other skaters on the first turn, but they chose to call it a false start and remove her from the heat. But other than that, I mean, Kim Booton went on to win the 500 metre, the bronze. And then this is the big one. You would think even over the curling is the luge. Now, it's Canada's first ever medal in the luge, Alex Goff. Now, this is the interesting story about Alex Goff. The Germans have such a stranglehold on luge. They basically never lose. And I think they won the gold and the silver in this event today. But with Alex Goff leading into Sochi in 2013, she broke a 105 World Cup sweep that Germany had. 13 straight years where Germany didn't lose a single World Cup event. And she broke that in 2013 and then went on to only place fourth in Sochi. And right before she went, they showed her interview after Sochi where she was basically in tears. But it was more like she was really angry tears. And I'd never really seen an athlete get that angry at losing before.
BEN WATERWORTH: Typical lose athlete. That's generally what they do, isn't it?
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, exactly.
BEN WATERWORTH: They're angry.
COLIN HILDING: They have such attitude problems. But she had that after her run. She was in third going into the final run. And she ended up placing second with the two Germans who were still to go after her. And you could see that same look on her face where she wasn't even looking at the camera. She just looked like she was ready to murder a German or something, strangle them as if they're a pain in the finger.
BEN WATERWORTH: Common thing, but most people are used to that. I feel like murdering a German today.
COLIN HILDING: At least in the Luge, or World War II. But then all of a sudden, the German who was in second place ended up coming behind her. And you could see her celebrating. So she ended up in the bronze position after the main German ended up in first. It was Geisenberger. So first ever Luge medal for Canada. That's kind of a bigger story than Laws and Morris right now, or maybe that's just because it's more recent. In the Halfpipe, Derek Livingston. So he ended up in 17th place overall. And you mentioned Sean White, who was first. I mean, we also have to remember, for a little bit of hope here for James, Sean White was in first place, I believe, going into the finals for the Halfpipe in Sochi, and he completely cacked. So you never know. You could win by default by Sean White choking again. Yeah, that's such an American thing to do. Almost.
BEN WATERWORTH: It's contradict ourselves.
COLIN HILDING: And in the Men's Combined, it was a washout for Canada. We had four comedians in there. Jack Crawford, whose sister Rosanna Crawford was also...
BEN WATERWORTH: Sorry. Gets in cough. Crawford just makes people sick.
COLIN HILDING: The Crawfords make me cough. I call them the Crawfords from now on. Yeah. His sister competed earlier, and his older sister, what's her name? I forgot her name now, and she agreed to be on our show. Oh, I'm so sorry. Shonda Crawford.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, Mrs. Crawford.
COLIN HILDING: Shonda Crawford. Yeah, Mrs. Older's sister Crawford. She was a gold medallist in cross-country skiing in 2006. Also, Manuel Osborne Parity and Broderick Thompson and Benjamin Thompson. None of them placed in the top 20. And as I said, Maryanne St. Jolais, she was taken out. And I watched the replay over and over again. She's the one who's engaged or dating, might as well be married to Charles Hamlin because they've been together for a decade or something in the 500 metre, which is the event she really wanted to medal in, in the heats. She had a false start, which I looked and I didn't even see her starting ahead of the other ones, but she did bump. So it's more just a questionable thing. You could have bumped her from the heats, but you chose a false start over illegal contact with another skater.
BEN WATERWORTH: Look, I want to talk about this skating. So I was watching it, but just quickly, I'll add another one here for you for Canada. And you mentioned Charles Hamlin, he set an Olympic record in the 1000 metres heats. I don't know if you saw that. So yeah, good, good.
COLIN HILDING: I didn't, I was asleep.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, for our man, Charles, of course. But two things, actually, I'll just quickly mention the luge because I was watching both of these. And because I just tuned in the luge about halfway through the final run, and I was like, oh, great, the Canadians in third. This is fantastic. I wasn't aware that you'd never won. I mean, I was actually in Canada, you've won medals in every single winter sport. I guess, you know, just me being that way. But there was the first Canadian that went down who kind of got in the lead. Then she kind of got knocked off by the German who eventually won the silver. And then when, yeah, I saw Goff go through and she was up, like it was green, green, green, green. It was just that last one that went red. And I saw her, I'm like, holy crap. Like I didn't know the story to tell them. She looks so disappointed. But as soon as the whatever, you know, cheeseburger, hamburger, whoever it was next, as soon as like she went across, and I'm on the phone and I'm like, oh my God, Canada, she's at least got a medal. She just went off like Goff. I was like, holy crap. She just won the Olympics. She's Yule Brenner. She's getting the Buckingham Palace. Like, so I love hearing that story. That just makes it even better, because she went off. Goff went off.
COLIN HILDING: Well, Goff went off. Let's hashtag Goff went off. Goff went off. But what makes this even more, or would have made this even more heartbreaking is that in Sochi, we really had hopes, not just because of Goff being able to break that German streak in 2013, but we ended up in fourth in all four Luge events. Just missed out on a medal in four events. So for her to have placed fourth again, I mean, that pretty much would have been like worst case scenario. And I guarantee she would have strangled a German, if not every German in the crowd, if that happened.
BEN WATERWORTH: Just a word on the 500 metres. I caught the semis, and is it Kim? Is it Boutin? Boutin, how do you say it?
COLIN HILDING: Boutin.
BEN WATERWORTH: Boutin. Whoever it was. But she was kind of out in the semi, but she kind of got allowed in because there was a penalty in hers. Yeah. So she kind of got lucky that way. But in the final itself, now I'm no short track speed skating expert. Sorry to kind of disappoint those out there who think I am. But the actual finishing of that one with Fontana for Italy crossing the line in a photo finish with Min Jong, the South Korean hero. The way I kind of saw it, because we had this British skater, this British skater, Elise Christie, who she crashed out, but the way I sort of could see it, it looked as though this Christie shoved Booton out of the way, and then that caused her to crash. And I'm like, you dirty Brit! Because apparently in Sochi, she got eliminated in every single one of her files from being disqualified, and was like a laughing stock in the UK, because she's a pretty big skater or whatever. So I was kind of like, poor Booton, she's being pushed out by this Brit, thinking that she's being cost this medal. And then when they kept showing the replays, I was like, oh, hang on a minute. Like she's sort of being pushed back in, like it looked like Booton had pushed the Korean out of the way. Then they went to this other angle, and then you could see this Min Jeong pushing Booton out of the way. Long story short, Myung Jeong got eliminated. The crowd was just dead silent. And I think it's a bit of a great fairy tale story here for Fontana, because she had won a bronze in Vancouver, a silver in Sochi, and then to get the gold. So she's got the set now. And she went off. It was good to see. The Italians know how to celebrate. Let's just put it out that way. So great gold.
COLIN HILDING: The Italians were hashtagging goth offing.
BEN WATERWORTH: They were goth offing. They were off in the goth, and they were coffin the goth, and then they off. They were just, you know, and they didn't dive either. Like this is weird for the Italians not to dive. So good for them. But yeah, so the other, the middle results today, the ones that we didn't sort of mention. So we had, I was enthralled by the combined, the alpine skiing. I just love alpine skiing. Watch the slalom from start to finish. I kind of only caught a bit of the downhill, but Marcel Hirscher from Austria beat Alexis Pinteren, French name, followed by Victor Muffat-Gendet from France. In the cross-country skiing, no surprise, it was Norway gold. In the men's individual, Johannes Hossflot Klabo defeated Federico Pellegrino from Italy and Alexander Bolshinov from Olympic athletes from Russia. And in the women's, it was Stina Nielsen from Sweden, Maiken Kasparen Farla from Norway, and Julia Belikrova from Olympic athletes. Do you think, like, so Maiken Kasparen Farla, the Norwegian who got silver, do you think that, like, in Norway, that's just, like, Jenny Smith? Like, that's just a common name? Like, to us, it sounds weird, but, like, to Norwegians, it's like, oh, that's just Jenny Smith. It's just a common name.
COLIN HILDING: It's probably not that common, or we'd have six of them competing on the circuit, but it's probably more like a Jarrod Lubick or a Colin Hildegard or Ben Waterworth.
BEN WATERWORTH: True, true, yes. Curling, as you said, gold to Canada, the giving up Swiss in silver, and we did mention on the episode yesterday that the Russians got the bronze. In the luge, as you just said, it was double gold, gold and silver for Germany. Natalie Geisenberger followed by Diana Eitberger and Alex Goff went off for Canada. Short track, as we just mentioned, Fontana, Italy, this is the 500 metres. The Dutch, Jara van Kirchhoff, which is weird to see that the Dutch are so dominant in long track, but they're not that, they rarely get medals in the short track. So this is kind of good on you for Jara. Booton with the bronze for Canada, snowboarding, Chloe Kim, we were on the NA, on air when we were calling this. So we mentioned this yesterday, Chloe Kim, gold. You missed out on that, Jara, Colin.
COLIN HILDING: Well, I really did, because that's the CBC Phil of the day, which I'll get into in a second.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, okay, right. And Ariel Gold didn't live up to her name. She was gonna rename herself Ariel Bronze, third there. And in the speed skating, no surprise, the Netherlands Gold, Kjell Nuys, followed by Patrick Rosset, and Kim Myun Sjok of South Korea. And I actually tuned in to that just as our esteemed New Zealander, Peter Michael, was in about third place at that time. He ended up finishing 14th. So that's still gold for New Zealand, let's be honest. Other results of note, just quickly today, in terms of other ones that we haven't kind of mentioned, in the ice hockey, it was a win to Canada. I don't know if you caught any of that, Colin. Nice dominant 4-1 victory over the Finns. Yes, bit of a blowout there. And I'm guessing the Americans would have ended up winning. They were up when I last did. Yep, five-nothing, cool. All right, that's just finished not too long ago. What else did we have going on today? I've got so many things open here. I mentioned the 1,000 metres, I had the heats going on in that one. The one of note, of course, Charles Hamlin set an Olympic record through there. He goes, there was no Australian. Another Canadian you had through was Samuel Girard went through. Charlie Coyneuer did not make it through, sadly. And in the 5,000 metres relay, the good news is, is that Canada are through to the final. They qualified just behind China, and they will be joined by South Korea, who went through an Olympic record, and Hungary, who get all their humor out on the ice, apparently, and make a final of the short track. What the hell are Hungarians doing in that? They're not funny. Not saying why they wouldn't be, but yeah, that's about it. I guess we need to find out what we watched today. Jarrod, what did you watch today?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Ah, just a bit of everything, really, on Channel 7's limited coverage. But I particularly just enjoyed watching the cross-country skiing, just because I hadn't seen much of the skiathlon or the biathlon, just kind of catching the end of those. So it was nice to kind of watch a whole event from start to finish in that.
BEN WATERWORTH: Now Colin, obviously, with you, it's a little bit different. You've got to get up, you've got to go to sleep, you're sick, whatever. I mean, what do you catch in between sleeping?
COLIN HILDING: Well, I actually don't mind the schedule they have because the first few hours before I go to bed, we get the morning events. And then early morning before I'm going to work, we're usually getting those evening events. So I've been able to keep up on it for the most part. Some of the speed skating, because it takes place in the middle, gets lost in the shuffle. But last night, the main thing I was watching was the woman's half pipe. And this was the fail where, I'll just talk about it now. This is not a commentary fail, it's a CBC fail. They were showing the entire half pipe event, and they kept saying the men's downhill is gonna be starting at 8.30, and it was getting closer and closer to 8.30. I'm like, well, they're not gonna cut away from this. I mean, they can maybe cut into the men's downhill a few in. And I think the second to last border went for the woman's half pipe. And then they just abruptly cut to the woman's downhill with a caption on the screen saying, Chloe Kim has guaranteed the gold, so we're not gonna bother to cover the rest of this. I wanted to see it, because her first run was incredible or her second run was incredible or whatever. And it was like after the men's downhill was over, they cut back and the commentators all of a sudden said, you will not believe what we're about to show you, what Chloe Kim did. In the back of my head, I'm thinking, you mean what she did when you abruptly cut away from her to start the men's downhill? And then she has the most incredible run in Olympic history. She scored like a 98 point, something like that, when she didn't even need to try. Total fail on CBC's part. Aside from that, it was a little bit of the speed skating, what I could catch. I couldn't sleep a lot during the night, so I was watching some of the Canada-Finland game, and of course this morning watching a bit of the, or not a bit of, pretty much the whole thing of the curling mixed doubles, and then the luge. I mean, I've spent a lot of the last two days in and out of sleep in bed, but I've been able to catch, I think, all the main things at least.
BEN WATERWORTH: Same with Jarrod. I basically watched everything. Well, everyone here. Again, this is the joys of the winter games, is that we can really pretty much pay attention to most things. I mean, loved the combined, the Alpine. Didn't watch a whole lot of the cross-country, but I enjoyed kind of that start thing they're doing. Dad and I were laughing at the volunteer whose job it was was to replace the stick before every single ski year had to go. Like, how does that person get that job? Do they like, oh, dear Pyeongchang Organising Committee, I want a job. Oh, shit. All we've got is, do you think you could stand next to some skiers and just replace the stick before they start skiing? Jarrod, do you think we would be qualified? I think we could do that.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I think that's actually probably the most important job there is there is to get all the timing right. So, I mean, they might have been flooded with applicants.
BEN WATERWORTH: Could have been. It might be a rigorous process. You might have to have police background checks, and who knows? That could be the way North Korea are trying to access South Korea. Like, oh, we'll apply for this position, and who knows? That could be their way through the cross-country sprint. Yeah, curling, as I mentioned, love it. Just everything. Again, can we just go in this every single day? This is why the winter Olympics are amazing. We don't have to sit here and go, oh, I saw a bit of the sailing. Like, no, there's none of that. It's like everything is exciting. I need more screens. And I highly recommend everybody in Australia to not watch Channel 7 and watch the app because, like, generally, they're different commentators. And generally, even when they're not going to, like, you know, they're competing, like, I was enthralled on the short track. I tuned in a little bit earlier for the final. It's about five minutes early. They've got that stationary camera, like, with the Zamboni cam, I guess we can call it, where it's just, you know, a stationary shot of the ice. But the crowd was going off. They were, like, playing Gangnam Style. Everyone in the audience is doing the Gangnam Style dance. They kept cutting to somebody in the change rooms, and he skates doing the Gangnam Style dance. And the crowd was just, like, going absolutely mental. So that's more entertaining than having to see Hamish McLaughlin's replay of him watching Maddy Graham get a silver medal. Like, didn't you joke about that, I think, in Rio Colin about how they showed Donovan Bailey watching a replay or something like that? They did that last night on our coverage. He's the host watching us win a silver.
COLIN HILDING: Well, they're continuing to do that here, but I think it must be done a lot better in Canada because people love it here, and I actually love watching it. Like, they just had Justine Deferlipoint and McKell Kingsbury on for, like, the primetime interviews in the studio, and they had, like, Justine there with her parents next to her, and they showed them the run, and it was the first time they had been able to watch it. So it's not so much, oh, here's, you know, some obscure person watching the race. It's, you know, let's show the athletes what they just did.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, look, I don't have anything against that. The problem I have, and Jarrod, I'm sure you saw it too, was that A, Hamish McLaughlin is a bit of a knob, and B, it's not like he's actually react, like, it's almost like he knew the camera was on him, and he was deliberately hamming it up for the camera, like, with his body reactions and things like that. Jarrod, did you see it?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, I agree. Like, literally, it looks so staged. Like, I just can't believe that somebody would react like that. I can understand being tense and being excited, but, yeah, it was, like, all over the place, and, like, being, like, nervous about parts where, like, he was skiing fine, like, he wasn't having bubbles or anything, and he was like, oh, like, he's gonna go off the track. I'm like, he's doing fine. You wouldn't react like that to that point of the race. Like, it was just stupid.
BEN WATERWORTH: And I will say that I think Channel 7's Twitter and Instagram did tweet that moment. So, like, Colin, we can find it and tag you into it so you can see just how over-the-toply bad and fake it was. But, yeah. But, yeah, no, outside of that, it's basically we can watch everything because, you know, there's limited events. I even caught some of the skeleton. I was telling you this off air. They had skeleton training on, which is fascinating. And I'm just gonna point this out right now for the skeleton that, Jarrod, this is gonna be the battle, this is the trans-Tasman rivalry, the iconic rivalry between Australia and New Zealand. It lives through the ages, through cricket, through rugby, through so many sports, but it's finally coming to a head because we have an Australian skeleton athlete. There's a New Zealand skeleton athlete. This is it. This is whoever wins. Doesn't matter how many medals Australia will walk away with. This is it, isn't it? Our iconic rivalry is finally coming to a point in the sport of skeleton.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, this will put it to bed once and for all.
BEN WATERWORTH: Absolutely. This is it. I'm telling you now. Athletes of the day. Let's go with you, Colin. You might even be able to give us something from yesterday. I don't know if you had any more from yesterday that you didn't get to talk about. None? Colin? Bueller? Jarrod, are you there?
COLIN HILDING: I couldn't figure out how to take you off.
BEN WATERWORTH: Most people have been trying to work that out for their entire lives, Colin. Oh, there's Hamish McLaughlin in bed reading a newspaper. Yes.
COLIN HILDING: Profile pick-up date.
BEN WATERWORTH: That actually looks like the Mercury, too.
COLIN HILDING: He's reading one of your articles, Ben.
BEN WATERWORTH: Probably, and he's giving us thumbs up. Good job, Ben.
COLIN HILDING: I think we should just give the honourable mention of the day to Chloe Kim just for not cheaping out on the final run and being, I guess, now the second Olympic athlete to ever win a gold medal being born post the year 2000. And she really added as a complete lock and just decided, I'm going to go all out and I'm just going to blow everybody away in the final one.
BEN WATERWORTH: And I feel like I've not really heard too much of her. I mean, I don't really follow the Winter Games. I mean, the X Games. I'm not an advocate for the X Games. I think, I don't know, that's a whole other kettle of fish. But she actually won a couple of gold in the Winter Youth Olympics, which I love it when they kind of have these articles about people who win medals in the Youth Olympics and go on to the... I don't know if YouTube follows the Youth Olympics. I like the Youth Olympics. Don't say anything on that, Colin. That's not the reason why I like the Youth Olympics. That's why I met Mallory. But I think that she's got to go on to be a superstar because the way they were talking her up and just everything about her, I feel like this is a name we're going to... She's the new Shaun White. I think Shaun White is done. This is it. I think it's his last Olympics. I talk him up that he's so old. Shaun White is my age. So I guess in snowboarding, because you're so athletic, that's a lot. But I don't know. How is Chloe Kim received in Canada? She's nearby, USA. She's going to be a big deal. Or already was she a big deal leading into this?
COLIN HILDING: No, she obviously wasn't received that well during the event because they cut from her gold medal-winning run. But then they made such a big deal when she came back. I think we missed out on something here. So I'm sure she's going to be a big deal going forward making up for her lost airtime.
BEN WATERWORTH: Jarrod, are you going to buy the Nintendo 64 game of Chloe Kim 1080 snowboarding or whatever that was called?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, as long as I can buy an ice cream in between runs, then yeah, it will definitely sell it to me.
BEN WATERWORTH: And who's your athlete of the day, Jarrod?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I'm going to go with another American. I'm going to go with Emily Sweeney from The Luge. I don't know if either of you saw. This was the worst crash that I have seen of the Olympics so far. And the fact that she got up after it and walked away from it, I just thought, what a trooper. So, yeah, for me, that was the most athletic moment of the day.
COLIN HILDING: And another one of CBC's fails as I was watching The Luge, and they come back and they're showing somebody laying down as stretchers coming out. And I'm like, oh, what went on? So I rewound my recording to see the crash, and they cut away during her run during the break and didn't show a replay.
BEN WATERWORTH: Look, I didn't see it. I'm going to try and watch it now, but I did hear them talking about it. It sounded like she basically died because one of the American luges came down.
COLIN HILDING: She basically died.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, just the way the commentators were going, like, oh, and here's the new American. Oh, her mind will be on her teammate who has suffered that horrific accident, and all she'll want to do is go to hospital. We've got no word yet on how she is. It's like, what, is she dead? Did her head roll off down? Like, the eyes? The eyes? I'm watching it now. It's in very slow-mo, this one I'm watching it. Whoa, she's zigging, she's zagging. Can I just also point out, women's luge, not good for the camel toe. That's another story. You know why I went there. Oh, her legs kind of bend in different directions. And they cut away. They didn't even get to see the whole incident. They just cut away from this replay. What the hell? I want to see her legs bend in different directions.
COLIN HILDING: All that we saw here on the Canadian replay was when she started to turn downwards, and when she hit the up part of the track, her feet hit it, and it looked like her ankles both completely bent sideways, and that's all I could really see.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, that's the one here that I just saw, but they just quickly cut away from it. But yeah, I love the photo. I shouldn't say I love the photo. It's not a very nice thing to say. But they've got a photo here of her parents. This is like a news article. Emily's mother Sue left, cries, as her daughter crashes in the final. It honestly looked like, if you looked at this picture, you would honestly think that, like, you know, there's been like a terrorist attack or something like that, and these are like two people looking at a building fly into a plane. I'm not trying to make fun of this. It's a horrible injury. Industry too, because it's the Rouge.
COLIN HILDING: It was basically just a body flying into a track at 150 kilometres an hour, not like a plane flying into a building.
BEN WATERWORTH: No, exactly. It's actually the look on their faces is generally what people do when they're listening to our show. They're like, what is this? Say something entertaining. When will Mallory finish talking about the outfits? I think Mallory is the Thomas Bach of this podcast. Let's be honest. She starts, and about 20 minutes later, she's still going. Love you, Mallory, if you're listening.
COLIN HILDING: She's still going now. We just have her on mute.
BEN WATERWORTH: We do. Oh, yeah, she's here. My athlete of the day, I'll go over something a little bit different. I'm going this based purely on their name alone. I did that the other day with our Bart guy. I've forgotten his name. He skated again tonight. My Belgian skater, Bart Swings. Thank you, Bart Swings. He was in the middle position for a long time. Got excited. He actually was faster than your favourite American, Unchani Davis, who choked big time. He did a Campbell sister tonight.
COLIN HILDING: Thank God.
BEN WATERWORTH: What is your problem with Unchani Davis, you racist?
COLIN HILDING: It's the same problem I have with all of the pompous American athletes. It's a Michael Phelps.
JARROD LOOBEEK: It's a...
COLIN HILDING: What's her name? This new Ryan Lochte.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Is he the one who lost the coin toss?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, he is the one that lost the coin toss.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, exactly.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, well, that's fair enough. But so my favourite athlete of the day, from Kazakhstan, she competed in the... He, sorry. I couldn't even tell. He competed in the men's 1000 metres. His name is... Now, you know I'm good with names. Just bear with me. Nürburgen Zuhamagai Azaiev. And I just wanted him to do well so that the commentator would have had to be like, and here comes Nürburgen Zuhamagai Azaiev!
COLIN HILDING: You know that he just would have been like, here comes the Kazakhstan version of John Smith.
BEN WATERWORTH: I'm just quickly reading his profile on Wikipedia. I'm just quickly reading his profile on Wikipedia. Nürburgen Batyugalatovich Zuhamagai Azaiev, born 29th of November 1990 in Oral, Kazakhstan, is a Kazakh male short track speed skater. That's it. That's all it says. I can tell you he won a...
JARROD LOOBEEK: There'll be no room left on the page.
BEN WATERWORTH: The article's so long. He's 1.72 metres tall. He's 64 kilos. He's coached by Maddy Galal Karasabekov. Jesus Christ, I would hate to be like working in Starbucks in Kazakhstan. And he got a bronze in the Asian Winter Games in 2011. Sorry. Yes, go ahead, Galal.
COLIN HILDING: Can you update his Wikipedia page to say his favourite TV show is Games of Throne?
BEN WATERWORTH: Sure. I can do that. Let's see here. You are not logged in your IP address. Should I say he's got a massive dong? Or have we gone past that childish humor?
COLIN HILDING: This is the Olympics. We're classier than that.
BEN WATERWORTH: Download the Oz Network. Hang on. Let me just see here. His favourite TV show is Games of Throne. There we go.
COLIN HILDING: We just doubled the space on his Wikipedia page.
BEN WATERWORTH: And you know this is never, ever going to get re-edited, because who the hell on Wikipedia is staring at Nürburgring Zuma-Geneyeye's Wikipedia page? Oh no. Block this person from Wikipedia.
COLIN HILDING: One too many dong comments over the years, Ben.
BEN WATERWORTH: Yes. His favourite TV show is Games of Throne. There we go. Now, you kind of gave us a fail there, Colin. Do you have any others from CBC? Because I don't really have... I just want to bag out Channel 7. That's my thing today.
COLIN HILDING: No, nothing else from CBC. You read the one from yesterday where...
BEN WATERWORTH: I did, yes...
COLIN HILDING: . they misidentified a skier under all Andy Notti's pictures. I guess just to add to that, there's somebody here on Facebook who decided to give an encouraging message. His name is Larry Little. Give an encouraging message to Andy Notti as she posted this heartfelt message on her Facebook page just talking about, you know, oh, it's disappointing I couldn't do this or whatever. And I'm not sure if this is an actual friend of hers. It does show, you know, one mutual friend and this guy's name. But autocorrect was not his best friend today because it says, we love you, Andrew.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, Andrew. That was like our Brett comment yesterday, wasn't it? Jarrod for Brit Cox. Go Brett!
COLIN HILDING: He also put an emoji of what looks like a baby duck. I don't know if that was autocorrected as well.
BEN WATERWORTH: What's meant to be baby fuck? No, Ben, just stop. Jarrod, do you have any from Channel 7 at all?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Not really, Jarrod. They're a bit limited today because, I mean, all they were showing were Matt Graham replays. I mean, how much can you stuff up a replay? There was a moment where they interviewed some ex-famous figure skater for no apparent reason and didn't ask her any questions about Australia and just asked her questions like, have you seen the new Itonia movie, which they thought was a good use of their time, considering there were other live sports on at the time?
BEN WATERWORTH: Yeah, I honestly didn't take anything of note down, because, I mean, I mainly watched the app and a lot of that time they're using non-Channel 7. The thing that's interesting when you're watching the main Channel 7 channel on the app is that when they cut to My Kitchen Rules, you think they just keep showing what they're showing on 7Mate or something like that, but no, they just keep showing My Kitchen Rules. I'm trying to find some comments, but the thing is on their Facebook page, they don't let you post on their page. They've got here a post from two hours ago where they've updated Gold for Canada, John Morris and Caitlin Laws win the inaugural mixed doubles curling, and then somebody's commented, Nath Tanner, not that you guys would show any of it. Okay, I think Twitter's where it's at. Brad Howard, 7 Olympics, please make an urgent change to your idea that we only want to watch the Australians. You were showing another replay of the opening ceremony at 7:30 p.m. Okay, that one's old. That one's from a few days. This one's, does Channel 7 realise how much everyone hates their sporting coverage of anything? Oh, God. This is just so funny. People backing out. This should be a sport in itself. Can we make this an Olympic sport? Backing out Channel 7, that would take off with a jarred.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, that's finally something that Australians are good at.
BEN WATERWORTH: I'm actually finally seeing the full crash year of Sweeney, if this is in quick motion. Oh, she's losing it. She's losing it. Boof. Okay. Oh, yeah, it's pretty nasty. I was expecting a bad. Worse, to be honest. Sorry if she's like...
COLIN HILDING: You expect her to be basically dead.
BEN WATERWORTH: Just if she dies in the next 12 hours, and we have a bad habit of doing this on our podcast, I apologise in advance. Yeah, what have we got here? I don't even know what else is going on here with Channel 7, but they just suck, let's be honest. Goddamn Channel 7. What else? That's about it, really. Does anyone else have any... One thing I actually want to comment before we get to our My Nameys and things like that, just so I've got a moment, I want to remember this. I think we kind of established slightly that Pyeongchang might have the worst logo in the history of the Olympics. I mean, I could legitimately recreate that on MS Paint right now. But can we also just have a quick mention of the slogan, the motto? Have you guys paid attention to this at any of the events when they have it, you know, like, everywhere? I mean, Vancouver's was what, like, you know, oh, God, it was in your national anthem. Colin, help me out here.
COLIN HILDING: Oh, Canada, we stand in guard for the true patriot love.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, it was, oh, God, I've gone blank. Anyway, I'll find it. The motto for the 2018 Winter Olympics is passion connected.
COLIN HILDING: Oh, yeah, I did see that. That was pretty bad.
BEN WATERWORTH: The way I keep seeing it written on everything, I'm like, yeah, where's the rest of it? Like, you just kind of like, what? Like, legitimately, the PM Chang have just sat in around a board meeting. Somebody scribbled a couple of lines on a piece of paper. This is our logo. And then what's our motto? I don't know. Something to do with passion. Yes, I like it. I like it. We need to connect it with people. Yes, yes. Good. You're getting closer. You're getting closer. I've got it. Passion connected. Oh, brilliant. Start the signs. What's our logo and motto going to be for Ben Lohman 2026? Jarrod, I think we can come up with it now, can't we?
COLIN HILDING: Can it be like Hamish McLaughlin giving a thumbs up in a bathrobe?
BEN WATERWORTH: And underneath it, the slogan is just sort of like hashtag 7 Olympics. Yeah, that's probably one to put you on the spot. Maybe it's harder than we think. The motto is with glowing hearts is for Vancouver. Yeah. Like we talked about mascots. We talked a bit about logos. Maybe we'd come up with these mottos. What was Sochi's like? We're not guilty. Their motto. Oh, okay. Hang on. Let's just back up here. Maybe it is worse in Sochi because their logo was pretty rubbish too. It was literally a website. Their motto was hot, cool, yours.
COLIN HILDING: Ben, don't comment on the gymnasts.
BEN WATERWORTH: Damn it. What was Rio's? A new world. I never saw that written anywhere in Rio.
COLIN HILDING: A whole new world?
BEN WATERWORTH: It's a picture of Aladdin.
COLIN HILDING: Shining, shimmering, splendid.
BEN WATERWORTH: See, like Sydney's was creative. Share the spirit, dare to dream, the games of the new millennium. See, they had three, like bloody good ones, Sydney.
COLIN HILDING: I just love Salt Lake City's because America.
BEN WATERWORTH: Are you being serious? Is that actually what it is?
COLIN HILDING: No, it's not.
BEN WATERWORTH: I was about to say, it's like the fire within Colin. Everyone knows that.
COLIN HILDING: That's like Ryan Lochte or Shawnee Davises.
BEN WATERWORTH: You're a motto in the morning and you're a motto at night. I'm trying to see if Lindsay Vonn's done anything of interest. She's tweeted a video of somebody going up an escalator, and she's replied, I 100% want to find this guy and the escalator and try to do this. I think I could get on the podium. Oh, she's tweeted out her Olympic playlist. Let's see what's on Lindsay Vonn's Olympic playlist, shall we? I feel like this is some breaking news. What do you think she would listen to? Any guesses, anyone?
COLIN HILDING: I'm thinking it's that Eddie the Eagle gold medallist who recorded the pop album and stabbed his wife.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, she's a big fan of Jessie J, to which her song is Do It Like a Dude. She listens to G-Eazy, The Beautiful and Damned featuring Zoe Nash. Rihanna, American Oxygen. I've never heard of any of these songs. OT. Genesis, Everybody Mad. Zayn, Still Got the Time featuring Party Next Door in Capitalist. Is this just like a list of songs that she's promoting because she's Lindsey Vonn, or like she doesn't listen to these songs in the start? That's bullshit.
COLIN HILDING: I mean, I was watching a lot of these events and when you're like even during the snowboarding, why do they listen to anything? Like you're done in 30 seconds. I mean, you start a song, it doesn't even get to the first verse.
BEN WATERWORTH: Well, I know Scotty James has like his headphones in when he takes his helmet off. Like, you know, I mean, more sports, they should listen to, you know, maybe LeBron James is just, you know, bouncing around the court with his headphones in, you know, just like back in black. That's the first song that came to my head.
COLIN HILDING: I've got one on Instagram. And again, I don't know if Lindsay Vaughn is the most douchiest athlete since Ryan Lockheed, or maybe just the most boring and confusing because she has a picture of her on Instagram. It looks like she's in workout gear. She's got like UFC style gloves on. Her hair is wet, a towel around her neck. And she has like this intense look on her face. And it put the look I give if you tell me I'm old, emoji devil face, hashtag don't push me. Captain America doesn't age and neither does at Tom Brady. What does this have to do with her?
BEN WATERWORTH: Is she a Patriots fan? I'm just trying to say, I'm just going to be doing an update. Speaking of Ryan Lochte, I was wondering if he's been watching the Winter Olympics. No, I think he's had a baby because he's got like 101 photos and he's had or he's stolen a baby. Yes, Kaden, you are one of a kind. Can't stop laughing at this. Too damn cute. Hashtag CZL, hashtag moods, hashtag mad, hashtag happy.
COLIN HILDING: Hashtag being extradited back to Rio to face charges on child kidnapping.
BEN WATERWORTH: Everybody, lock up your daughters. Ryan Lofty's procreated.
COLIN HILDING: Wait, wait, what? He should not have freeze it that way. He's showing a picture of a baby, he goes, lock up your daughters.
BEN WATERWORTH: I didn't actually, I just made that up. Not as to say he said it. Anyway, all right, we're stalling. Who's my name is today? Colin, who are we learning about from Canada? Yesterday's is boring, make it more exciting.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, I hope I could find it here because I had it open a minute ago, and now I've seem to have lost it here. So let me just stall for a little bit.
BEN WATERWORTH: Sure, I'll just read some. Oh, I found it here.
COLIN HILDING: All right, I have to say, I'm kind of disappointed with the ones this time. They're not quite as funny as the ones we had in Rio. Too many of these people, I think, you know, heard Off The Podium and they're like, we don't want to be made fun of on Off The Podium of all shows. That's prestigious. That's where athletes go to lose their medal chances. Exactly. So Maryanne St. Jolet, who, of course, was disqualified for a false start. There was not a false start when she should have been disqualified for contacting another skater. Hello, my name is Maryanne St. Jolet, and I am Canadian. My favourite Olympic moment is my silver medal in the 500 metres of Vancouver 2010. If I could have any superpower, it would be flying. My favourite sports movie is Without Limits. If I were an animal, which would it be? And this is in brackets, draw and explain. She drew a dog's face with the word dog and doesn't bother to explain it. She's really lazy. This is why you couldn't medal. My funniest childhood memory is my dad loved to make us laugh. So one day he put a raisin in his nose and he couldn't take it out. Then he died. Has that happened? He basically died. Has that happened to either of you?
BEN WATERWORTH: Every day.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, no comment.
COLIN HILDING: I had a cousin that...
BEN WATERWORTH: You had one, because you're dying.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, he basically died. He stuck a bingo chip up his nose and couldn't get it out.
BEN WATERWORTH: I don't think I've ever stuck anything up my nose except for my fingers.
COLIN HILDING: It's a Canadian thing. We all do it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Let's put this pool cue up my nose.
COLIN HILDING: My favourite pump up song is Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars. The most recent TV show I binge watch is 30 Reasons Why. My least favourite foods are Volo Vent. Now, it said foods, and again, she can only come up with one. I had to look up what this Volo Vent is, and it basically looks kind of like a chicken pot pie inside of a pastry bowl. So it looks good. Sounds delicious. If I weren't an athlete, then I would be a hip hop dancer. My favourite vacation spot is Maui, Hawaii, because it's the only place I feel like recovering. People usually describe me as a funny person and smiling, we can tell from this profile. If I could be an Olympian in any sport, then my own, it would be track and field. My favourite song lyrics are Halfway Right by Linkin Park. I stream it myself when there's nobody else to fight. I don't lose, I don't win if I'm wrong. Then I'm halfway right, I know what I want, but it feels like I'm paralysed. And my guilty pleasure is sugar. So let's hope that we can get some good athletes on here with some good profiles.
BEN WATERWORTH: Sorry, I didn't cut out. I was stopping myself because I didn't think you would. Whatever. The thing I was going to say is just sugar. So she just gets a bag of sugar and goes, just swallows the whole thing all.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, that famous Maui sugar when she's recovering in Hawaii.
BEN WATERWORTH: Fan messages. Sadly, Jarrod, we didn't go back to back. We didn't get our ones. There was nothing wrong with that one about skiing a lot. Did you see what we posted at all, Colin? We gave one of our downhill skiers an option to ski a lot and do good ski, because they ski good. A lot of messages to Emily Arthur. So good for her. Quite some boring ones here, Jarrod. Are you seeing any? None about eating schnitzel. Oh, here's one from Zach from Western Australia to Brittany Cox. Hi, you are doing great. That's all it says. No. Doesn't do great.
COLIN HILDING: I just read you one to Scotty James from yesterday.
BEN WATERWORTH: No, I was excited to send a message. From stream overseas fan to Emily Arthur. Hope you are okay. Everybody like loves Emily Arthur today. Holy crap. Oh, here we go. Olivia from Victoria to Tess Cody, who pulled an ACL and is no longer competing at the Olympics. This is what it says. Hi, my name is Olivia. I'm studying you at school. I hope you win a gold medal. You must be studying pretty hard there, Olivia. She's out of the damn Olympics. Tanya and Carthiga, New South Wales, to the entire Olympic team. Hello, Australian team. You are the best. We wish you a lot of courage and strong spirit. We love you. From Tim in Queensland to Emily Arthur, go the Australia. I told you to do this. Colin is going to die. Jarrod, do you have any of those emergency stuff there that you've got for your snowboarding picture? Santa from New South Wales to Jessica Yeaton. Best wishes for you. Amelia Whitlock's member of Chalky Ski Club, Victoria, to Brittany Cox. Hi, Britt. I saw you on TV and thought you did amazing. Even though you did not come first, you tried your best, and that is all that matters. Smiley face. Oh, hang on. Here's one here. This is offering some services to Tess Cody from Minick in New South Wales. Hello, Tess. I'm so sorry you've had to withdraw from competition because of your injury. I'd like to cheer you up. I wish you will come back stronger. Good luck. You're the best. I'd like to cheer you up. Oh, God. Have you got any here, Jarrod?
JARROD LOOBEEK: My favourite one is from Brody in New South Wales to Matt Graham. Good luck for your next event. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to seeing Matt Graham and the Nordic combined.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, he's waiting for Beijing. Oh, he's from Alexey Victoria to our luscious Alexander Falazo. Hi, Alex Falazo. Congratulations. That's all it says.
COLIN HILDING: Can anybody use proper grammar in your country?
BEN WATERWORTH: No, they get published. We use proper stuff. We don't get anything. Okay, I think we're good. All right, so who are we going to send it off to today? We kind of cheated yesterday, Colin, because we found a bit of a loophole. We just sent a message to the entire cross-country team and ticked all them off the list. I feel like we're going to send something to our figure skaters because we've got the pairs starting tomorrow. So we have Ekaterina starting tomorrow, as well as Harley in the pairs. What do you reckon? We're up for the pairs here today, guys?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Sounds good.
BEN WATERWORTH: That sounds funny to Colin, apparently. Um, let's...
COLIN HILDING: I just love Anthony Rossi's from yesterday.
BEN WATERWORTH: All right, the ski, everyone, ski. Um, all right.
COLIN HILDING: Just do that every day until it gets published, but replace the sport. You skate good, good ski. Skate so good. Don't skate bad. Bad skating is bad.
BEN WATERWORTH: Okay, well, let's do that one here. I'm going to... Ekaterina Alexanderovskaya from Alexanderterina Ekalaz... No, I'm just, like, putting up a weird name there. Email Russia at hotmail.com. I'm a Sling State overseas fan. Remember me from Moscow. Skate good.
COLIN HILDING: Do it for the Australia.
BEN WATERWORTH: Do it for the Australia. Think of the clinic back home with the secret room. Back home with the secret room. Uh, ROM apparently. Uh-oh. Oh, shit, I can't type very well this evening. I'm on the drugs myself. Uh-oh.
COLIN HILDING: You checked all the boxes on their criteria.
BEN WATERWORTH: Uh-oh, didn't mean to say that. Be quiet. Oh, hang on.
COLIN HILDING: Please don't tell my mum how I live.
BEN WATERWORTH: Please don't tell my mum how I live. Go for gold. Hopefully, you can keep this one. Oh, it actually didn't go under the, over the limit. I think we just basically implied that Ekaterina is a Russian druggie. I don't even know if she's actually from Russia. So, is that racist? I don't know. All right. So, we want a generic skate well, skate skate, skatey mc skate face. Are we doing this one to Harley Windsor, our other in the pairs? Don't fart. That's all we can say when he gets lifted. I don't know why that's funny. Harley Windsor, from Kristen Knaer, email, yaytheeagles1 at hotmail.com, Western Australia. All right, what do we say? Is this the skatey mc skate face one? Yeah.
JARROD LOOBEEK: If it's from Kristen, it should be, I don't send fan messages.
BEN WATERWORTH: Done, I don't send fan messages. What even is this? Am I supposed to be listening to this show? All right, so I don't send fan messages. You know that's probably going to get published now, right? Yes. All right, okay, last one. Let's look at the ABCs here. Who's Samantha Whirl? She's a freestyle skier of some sort. Let's go to Samantha Whirl's. Ryan, why not? You're Samantha Whirl's fan. Are you, Jarrod?
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, all the way.
BEN WATERWORTH: All the way. All right. What shall we say to Samantha? Name? Anyone? Jamie Hilding. Email? At hotmail.com.
COLIN HILDING: Overseas fan.
BEN WATERWORTH: All right, I'm leaving this one up to you guys.
COLIN HILDING: How about something about a passion for cooking and certified holistic nutritionists?
BEN WATERWORTH: Do you like cooking? I have a... How do you spell? What's that word? That's a big word.
COLIN HILDING: Certified. First word. That's C-E-R.
BEN WATERWORTH: H-A-V. Second word is holo-teristic. What? Horticultural?
COLIN HILDING: Holistic. H-O-L. I-S. T-I-C. Third word. I-D-I-O-T.
BEN WATERWORTH: I have a certified holistic idiot.
COLIN HILDING: I'm sidetracked listening to you trying to spell. Nutritionist.
BEN WATERWORTH: Nutritionist at home can cook for you only if you win gold. No pressure. Lol. Ha ha. Lol, lol, lol, lol, lol. Oh, B-T-W win gold. Lol. That's not even funny. Why are we even sending these in? Why are people listening to this show while we're just sending pointless messages? Samantha Wells has probably not gotten a single message. She's probably sitting there every night looking at the Australian Olympics, like, oh, please someone send me a message. And then, you know, you've got Nazi dictator on the moderation queue at the AOC going, oh god, he's at podcast again.
COLIN HILDING: He should send a second nice one to her, something like, go for gold, can't wait to see Hamish McLaughlin give you a thumbs up.
BEN WATERWORTH: Hopefully, he's not in bed this time. PS, can I borrow 50 cents? Just before we go tomorrow, I didn't give an metal tally update before. Once again, Canada stuck up the second at one point, but then they got overtaken quickly because the Norwegians and the Dutch. Can the Netherlands just not speed skate? It's ridiculous. They just... Jamaica are in sprinting. They only ever win in one force. They just concentrate purely on this. Germany are shitting it in. They won five gold, two silver, two bronze, nine in total. Netherlands in second, four gold, four silver, two bronze. Norway, three gold, five silver, three bronze. Canada, fourth, three gold, four silver, three bronze. And the top five, USA, three gold, one silver, two bronze. The good news is is France are only in sixth, so that's good news. And the better news is that Australia, equal 14th, we've been joined, not only by our great winter Olympic rivals in Slovakia, but China have joined us, as well as the giving up Swiss, an equal 14th. Again, good news is we're still beating New Zealand, so that's where it counts. And also Great Britain yet to win a medal as well. If we do it by total medals though, Colin, Canada and third. So actually, no, sorry, equal second.
COLIN HILDING: That's the way we're counting it.
BEN WATERWORTH: Equal second you are. I correct myself. Get excited though. Day five is where it's at, because we've got some good stuff happening tomorrow, but mainly the Nordic Combined starts tomorrow. Get involved everybody. Get excited. The Nordic Combined, the individual normal hill, 10 kilometres, is up and raring to go. And I'm telling you now that there's a very open field. We've got some Austrians, some Czech Republicans. There's some Estonians in the field I'm looking at here. Ukrainians, five Americans, no Canadians. So we have legitimately no one to root for, except for everybody that isn't the French people. But I've got my eyes on the Slovenians in this one. I've got a good feeling for them. Also happening tomorrow, of course, in terms of the medal events tomorrow, there's only six on tomorrow, but it includes the Nordic Combines on. We've got the halfpipe obviously and the men's snowboarding. The Luge Doubles is on. The medals will be decided in the Luge Doubles. Oh, so exciting. The biathlon, the women's individual is on tomorrow. The women's 1000 metres in the speed skating. And the Zali Stegel Memorial event. It's been 20 years since she claimed bronze in this event in Nagano. We're trying to get her on the show again to repeat that amazing interview she gave us last year. But the women's slalom medal decided that in the Alpine skiing. And just also some big news too, though. Colin, I guess you're excited because the men's hockey starts tomorrow. This is outside of the medals. So first day of men's hockey. We have first day of the men's and women's team curling events. And we also have the figure skating. The pairs short program begins as well. Jarrod, what are you keeping your eye on tomorrow? You're back into the figure skating. You're going to see the men hitting some parkers. Is it all at the men's doubles, luge and the Nordic combined?
JARROD LOOBEEK: I think the double luge is the priority. That's the stop-press event of these Olympics. And I just hope that given the success of it, we will see triple and quadruple luge at future Olympics.
BEN WATERWORTH: Oh, God damn it. Just have a luge orgy, just like everybody get involved. Like, God damn it. I don't know where to look tomorrow. Nordic combined, luge, Canada's playing Switzerland in the ice hockey, the men, all those great stars of ice hockey that aren't there. Actually, no, it's on Thursday tomorrow. Joke, just kidding. It's actually Slovakia and Russia and USA, Slovenia tomorrow, so not that exciting. But Colin, the men are playing ice hockey. Not to take away from the women, but this is what Canada's been waiting for.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah, and I think part of it is because we have absolutely no clue what's going to happen. Whereas with the women's, we can predict we're going for the gold. The men's is completely up in the air. The teams were only put together like a couple of weeks ago. So it's going to be interesting to watch pretty much all the teams to see what happens. And then, I mean, come on, the double luge. I mean, that's the event where everybody's a winner. So you got to watch that.
BEN WATERWORTH: Got to be. It's interesting. The women's ice hockey, there's only eight teams. And we know that basically six teams are fighting for bronze and that the USA and Canada will decide who wins the gold. Twelve teams and the men's. Three different groups. So, Canada, you've got the Czech Republic, Switzerland and South Korea in your group. Now, generally, Czech Republic, pretty strong. They won the gold in 98, if I'm not mistaken. Switzerland, there, and South Korea, well, God, who knows? They're playing at least by themselves this time. They don't have the North Koreans to weigh them down like they do in the women's. Group B, so we've got another chance for a miracle on ice with the US playing against the Olympic athletes from Russia. And then the two great rivals of Slovakia versus Slovenia. And then in Group C, it's the Scandinavian group. It's Sweden, Finland, Norway and Germany. So yeah, I'm excited for the men's ice hockey. Let's get involved. But yeah, doubles luge, Nordic combined, that's where it's at. And Scotty James, can we get another medal on the next day of competition on day five? I'm excited. Let's see how we go. Everybody listening at home, thank you for tuning in. Remember to like us on Facebook. Follow us on all the social media channels. I will also quickly say, just reading here quickly, that Greta Small in Australia is competing for the slalom. I just thought she's the new Zali Stegl. So I just wanted to point that out quickly. She has a small heart, but a small... No, I don't know where it's going. A small name, but a big heart. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm a man in the morning and a man in the evening. Colin, it's good to have you back. I hope you enjoyed the rest of your day at work today.
COLIN HILDING: Yeah. If I live through to tomorrow or any other day following that, I will speak to you again. If not, at least we got to go out with some moguls wins there.
BEN WATERWORTH: And Jarrod, let's hope that we get another 727 replays of no matter whatever Scotty James. I'm sure they're gonna replay Scotty James waking up in the morning probably tomorrow before the event. So let's look forward to 24 hours of blanket coverage of Scotty James doing shit tomorrow.
JARROD LOOBEEK: Yeah, fingers crossed for those replays and interviews with past pointless Olympians.
BEN WATERWORTH: And I look forward to hearing what Chumpy Pullen thinks of Scotty James. We'll be back tomorrow wherever you are listening. Thank you for your time. My name is Ben, love the podium, and good night.
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